Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Morning ladies. I just freaked out at DP for putting the rugby on, proper tears and all. Bloody hormones! Luckily he laughed it off. However after he left the flat I realiased he used the only clean towel we have and it was my super lovely massive one. I felt furious. Luckily he wasn't here to see it.

DTD last night on day of ov. Officially on the tww. Gonna go for a run now to try and chill out.

Ooh ewcm! And definitely from the right hole So does this happen in the days before icing? I'm on CD15. Also feel like I have very mild period type pain, is that icing related too??

Morning!

I figured since dulcet showed us her fine POAS obsession it's only fair if I keep her company and show off mine!

Behold!

First was 11dpo and can only be see on scrutiny (I then went and bought frer to confirm).

The latest is today at 21dpo

I might stop now...

bat 'from the right hole' made me laugh!!!

Yes get shagging - any time you get ewcm get shagging. Shag shag shag shag shag.

Shag.

Yep, all icing related! I think it's quite common to get ewcm for up to a week? Personally I find it dries up the day after if I confirm with opks and temping. Pelvic pain for me only lasts one day, and I don't get it every cycle. But again, that can vary from person to person. I also get spotting sometimes too!

Hi middle I caught my dh using my towel to dry his tackle this week, good luck with the twot!

My dad used my hair towel this morning to dry himself.

la sorry x post! What a luvverly collection! Yeah, I think you've confirmed it now!!

That's a beautiful collection la. You need a stick guardian though, like my non-seagul.

Sounds like icing to me bat - get on it!

(In the old JSing Fred reviews going on can you see if I came up with icing? I vaguely remember it may have been my autocorrect but it could also be me stealing someone else's memory!)

Men are delightful aren't they

lil boo sucks hiss to the witch, I was really routing for you and los. Upwards and onwards for the superbean! And yes you can leave the sugar out but will be unbelievably bitter. Try honey, you will need less as it's sweeter and it's natural sugar. Just be careful as burns slightly easier. I'm completely with you on the carbs thing. If I don't eat them I crave, don't feel satisfied and just feel damned tired. Carbs are our bodies energy, especially if your cutting down on short sugars so don't beat yourself up for eating them! just maybe don't eat as much toast as I do just swap for wholegrain everything. Snacks- hummous and carrot sticks? Homemade popcorn? For dairy try for Greek yogurt as it is just so much nicer has much less sugar and higher dairy content (even the low fat option) plus you can sneak seeds or fruit in there

Ooh how exciting, my first noticeable potential icing incident. Shagging will most certainly occur tonight! Unfortunately not right now, not sure our visitors will be too impressed. Have also shagged on days 9, 11 and 13 so hope it's safe to say we've given it a good go so far this month!

Ugh men and their bits - I have to make sure me and the hub have different colour towels as I live in fear of using the towel that he has given his balls a good dry with. Not quite sure why given that I'm happy to get up close and personal with his balls directly but hey ho!

Lovely mini chat news!

Jeez La I think your preggo!!! hope this makes relax lady

Bat sex Mr Bat ASAP!

Made DH watch the great sorry race as feel he is not educated enough. His response? 'So your fanjo make my sperm complete the hunger games?'

Well, I suppose it sort of looks like that?!

Shag shag shag shag!

Why do men have to get the towel and then really kind of pull on and grab round the balls to dry them? It's most unnecessary.

Watching last episode of Downton Abbey - I'm really sad it's over!

la thats a beautiful collection! If you need to keep poas you keep poas!

Dulcet I will have a look through at some point and see if I can find the icing autocorrect.

bat some months I get no ovulation pain, others I can barely stand up straight. EWCM can come and go throughout the cycle but in theory it gets to what i call "ultimate ewcm" around icing. I get it for a day or two after icing then i dry up again. Just keep shagging until you're sure it's gone!

Tink honey is a fantastic idea. Will definitely give that a go. I actually don't mind natural yoghurt so going to have that with the rhubarb and strawberry. Also have carrots and hummus on the snack list. i've just finished my shopping list, and it's looooooonngg!!

chat think I overlooked your post, so sorry! Good to hear the scan went well. Hope it's put your mind at rest and you can start enjoying being pg.

In other news, clinic called again this morning which was unexpected and inconvenient as fil was here so had to go hide with the phone luckily i picked it up and didn't let it go to answerphone. did have to go hide in kitchen with phone tho!

So, i have my appointment to learn how to inject myself on 16th December. No doubt I will have forgotten exactly what to do by 28th. Might ask if DH can video appt on his phone! also appt is 8.30am, i'll barely be awake, let alone able to take it all in!

I think I need a hooyah! Had a cry over ttc this morning not helped by having severe manflu! Am getting obsessive and need to get out of this funk! Bloody hell - I've been at this a million years, you'd think I'd be used to it! But getting closer now to drawing a line under it and getting on with the next chapter in our lives. It's just bloody depressing some days isn't it?? I sometimes wonder if I'm completely mad ttc after 6years of bfns. I think if we'd have given up a couple of years ago I'd have a family now (adopted). Grrr!! If only I'd have had a crystal ball huh!?

Okay, that feels much better for getting it off my chest. Although everyone in rl knows we are ttc I don't talk to anyone about it. We told our families last winter that we were going to adopt and having delayed that I feel like I don't want to keep telling people things and getting their hopes up, only to let them down iyswim.

Very glad I have you viroids to vent to I think my low mood this week has been exacerbated by this cold and way too much time alone thinking! Right, off to do something constructive and make myself a bit more alluring to poor dh

hooyah no longer required, stand down men, I have talked myself round!

lil I might be in the minority but I think doing your own injections and all that stuff is pretty cool! Oh, and go drink some water (you asked us to remind you)

dulcet I got to about page 11 of js1 and gave up, no concentration today !

tink and a remind me of your stats

Pressed send too early!

..and if you've already been to doctor to chat about it?

Hugs xx

lil I'm very excited for you. You are in your way

Thanks tink that's just made me pick up my first bottle of water of the day, and reminded me to add bottled water to my shopping list as it seems DH has drunk them all! Not complaining, glad he's drinking it!

tink remind us what your situation is. It's tough enough after 2 years, so I can't imagine how you must be feeling after 6! Why have you not progressed onto assisted conception? I think it's natural that you will have times of feeling like it's all on top of you after this long. I have had some mega moments this year usually when af arrives and I can't stop it. for you

I know of two people who have adopted, one couple after a death at 3days old and 1 mc and a termination due to neural tube type defects, and another single lady who adopted her brother ex gf's baby (not her brothers in the end but that was why it started) and is about to adopt a second. I'm not sure it would be for me if the ivf doesn't work but i haven't ruled it out.

Thank ladies, ttc since xmas(ish) 2008, 33 dh 43. Confirmed pcos at 21(ish) have been on metformin approximately 3 times over the years, been prescribed clomid also but refused it.
Been just shagging all that time! Bought the odd opk kit and tried harder some months than others but really just shagged!
Started temping and opks a few cycles ago and seem to have confirmed ov.
Have day 21 booked for this week and dh is doing sa. We've been here before but I always back out of treatment. This time shit got real though, hence my stress!
Take my hat off to you lil you must have nerves of steel, I on the other hand am still kidding myself that it may just happen one day, or someone will die and leave me their beautiful day old twins!!
I'm expecting an improvement in my results, my cycles are great these days. I have to have a scan too (waiting for letter) and then possible lap and dye.
Dh and I decided that if we don't get upduffed in 2014 we will revisit our la and progress with adoption (we only got to first meeting last time) not sure if we'll stick to it but that's the current plan.

Hi All

I started reading this erm... Fred?! last night and just finished. Granted, I slept and did food shopping inbetween...

You all seem great and really supportive of each other. Can I join in? :)

My story
Name: Kez
Age: 27
Children: zero

I came off the dreaded cerazette on 22nd August and been actively trying since. No idea what my body is playing at currently as I should have come on this weekend, but decided to have a heavy bleed on Tuesday after some left side pains the night before.

Bleeding got lighter Wednesday, even lighter Thursday and zilch Friday. Bit of spotting this morning but again, nothing since.

Don't know whether to put last (this?) month as a writ-off or not?!

Anyway - look forward to chatting to you all!

hi kez welcome. I had wacko cycles for a bit after finishing the pill. hopefully things will get on track soon for u.

tink why did u refuse clomid? though sounds like u may not need it now if temps confirm ov. why aren't you keen on assisted conception? granted its not for everyone. not sure about nerves of steel but needs must!

Hi kez welcome!! Nothing is a write off in this game

lil fear!!! Seriously though, decisions need to be made after this last round of tests so I'll get back to you. Not sure if we're good candidates anyway so maybe a bit of self protection xx

Hi Kez! Welcome! I don't know much about cerazette but it sounds like you are starting a new cycle today!

Great news Chat

Tink you have amazing personal strength. Don't worry if it slips a bit now and then.

fear is understandable. I don't think the magnitude of it all has hit me yet, and probably won't until we get to egg collection. maybe 6 years on you'll feel stronger so getting tests done sounds like a good plan. if your dh is fine you may not even need ivf so nowhere near as scary as u may be expecting. u know where I am when u have questions