Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

jelly I'm with dulcet on the outrage then. you need to drink more, preferably water. your poor eggs must be wrinkled to Hugh heaven! water is so important for so many things but as this is a ttc forum I'll just lecture you about egg quality, vitamin absorption and ewcm quality!

Morning lovely viroids.

la wil I'm sure you're used to the lack of sleep but sheesh, take it easy won't you.

jelly you should nc to the mn camel!

All of you with the vivid dreams, they give me shivers! Dh has them about being chased by ladies with fists for boobs!

So, erm, massive temp spike this morning! Really, I don't know what to make of it, forgot to do the opk but am not gonna worry about it. Major fail at this not temping etc! Although temping for 2 days and using one opk (yesterday) isn't too bad!

Temp spike can happen sometimes, if it stays over cover line 3 am days then that confirms ovulation. Get shagging!

Who's Hugh Heaven?! Is he nice?

I forgot to temp this morning! Oops lol. I suck at this!!

And Lil I do actually drink quite a bit of water (I try to drink a glass an hour, especially on fast days). I seem to be able to hold it in well. Like yesterday, I had a cup of tea for breakfast, then two cups of coffee and 3 glasses of water before I had to pee...

As I said, bladder of steel! ;)

Tink get that cape on!

A GLASS AN HOUR?? Omg I have been making myself drink more recently and have upped it to two glasses a day!

They are little glasses lol

If I don't then on fast days I get terrible headaches! I'd say I am well saturated haha!

Ooh yes drinking water is very important!

Have you had your meeting La? How'd it go? I must admit I am not looking forward to having meetings whilst pg!

Right, question for you knowledgeable Viroids!

It looks like the spotting is over (hooray!) but yesterday I did an OPK and it came up negative. It was a clear blue one, and I didn't even get a smiley face, just an empty circle.

Today, second pee of the day (just in case you were wondering) and I am sure I just had EWCM. Using Lil's tip, this didn't absorb into the tissue, just sat on it, and it certainly looked like EWCM. So could I have got an empty circle yesterday but possibly start icing today? I'll get my cape on tonight anyway, regardless.

Morning shaggers.

I do at least 2 litres a day in the quest for mega CM...leading up to icing I go for 3. I piss like a racehorse though...

Jelly you can get patches of EWCM throughout your cycle. This is why it's best to take other factors into account - such as temp or OPKs. It would be unlikely but not impossible to ice this early so always best to shag shag shag. What cycle day are you btw...think we could be on same/similar day - I'm cd9

also just though I find it easier to check the consistency with my fingers as tough to tell on tissue mildly grim but needs must

so get dipping your digits & see if it is in fact clear & stretchy or not

then wash your hands before any meetings

CD 9 for me too :) I forgot to take my temp this morning lol. I didn't know that about patches of EWCM, I don't think I've seen it before this obvious! I'll maybe use another OPK tonight, but would prefer to just shag!! Ok, water time!!

If in - shag! Always the advice here jelly.

I do noniks trick. Hope there's no cameras in the loos I visit! Some very dodgy viewing. Someone on here talked about tasty it once to see if it was salty and therefore cum soup.

I also go for the dip test as squinting at tissues is quite hard work. I'm going to have to up my water intake. I'm getting the feeling I'm probably permanently dehydrated (no headaches though). I don't pee all night and sometimes don't even need in the morning. You lot sound like piss machines

Haha I have done the old root around before to check consistency but this time it was just very obvious on the tissue post wipe!

And tasting it?!? Surely not?????

Tasting it I draw the line at.

Step. Too. Far.

Right I just downed two glasses of water in the hope it helps me see EWCM better.

Also I'm giving blood today!! Eep!

so I'm currently wallowing in self pity. AF is here 2days early. have left message for clinic so just waiting for call back now to find out when to take the pill and find out if they will delay us because AF is early. feeling fed up and petrified now that our last chance has gone. hopefully once the almighty cramps have subsided the PMA will return!

jelly I don't ice until cd18-20 but get ewcm from about cd8. empty circle just means your not within the 36hour ore ice window, doesn't mean you won't ice within the next 5days the swimmers will survive for! get shagging!

Oh lil, I am sorry. I know we were all hopeful for you this month. Allow yourself a couple of days to feel sad and treat yourself well. Then we will help you look to the future and be happy that there is a plan of action on the way. It's crap to have to take the pill but its for the best reason! Hope they get back to you soon.

Cakes all sold now, pennies banked for CiN. Good deed done for the day.

Sorry Lil that really sucks. I hope the clinic can sort you out quickly. You never know... AF arriving early might mean everything happens early!

Just popped a cake in the oven for a Christmas fayre tomorrow. First time I've friend putting food colouring in the sponge. Will make the icing (butter cream because I am lazy) coloured too and hopefully it'll sell! (By the slice, along with tea.)

Making a kiddies birthday cake for next weekend... Train theme. Bought a Swiss roll today for the train! Going to spray matchmakers silver for the track and use chocolate biscuit bars as the sleepers. Might make it a pinata cake too, for extra surprise! That's my next Friday sorted.

hugs lil :( Sorry to hear the witch has turned up

To cheer you up if you are having a crappy day!

Oh lil that's poo. Wallowing might help a bit? Get on the wine and the chocolate for support, and you always have us, too :)

Great vid, honey!

Haha honey that was brilliant! I watched with the sound off (in work) but can only assume the idea was that if they took the pillow he would hit them? How funny!

We came to london accidentally one year when the annual pillow fight was happening (didn't even know it was a thing). Trafalgar square down to Leicester square and all the way over to St James Park and Horse Guards Parade was full of feathers and fluff, and trafalgar sq itself was just packed with thousands of people hitting each other with pillows lol! (Though one of my friends was allergic to feathers so we couldn't get involved hah)