Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 08/11/2014 21:32

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
mountaingirl01 · 13/11/2014 17:07

Wow noniks immense catch up. Good to have you back although I'm so sorry you had a cp xxx

Noniks3 · 13/11/2014 17:10

thanks Mountain back to JSing like a something now.

How are you getting on? Feeling ok with your bean? How was your weekend away - did anyone catch you out?

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 13/11/2014 17:14

Yay Noniks! Welcome back Flowers

Sporn is spot porn, but you already sound like you indulge Wink

Also, if you go and live with Chat, can I come too? I am addicted to red onion marmalade

Indigoblue2 · 13/11/2014 17:16

Welcome back noniks! Another big red onion marmalade fan here, that shit goes with anything.

TinkerBlue · 13/11/2014 17:37

Noniks!!!!! I fucking love you xxx So glad to see you back - that catch up was the best ever! Made me laugh out loud and cry - all in one post!! (dh thought I farted but was actually snorting with laughter at your bikini line - me too!) Normal service is resumed folks! Grin

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 13/11/2014 17:37

I luffs you guys I do.

This has got me thinking (my computer is updating to Yosemite and I'm bored) that, other than some office window pics of the Tower of London, do we know where each other lives?

I know it's not very MNetty but I'm in Gloucestershire and clearly more emotional than I thought and wanted to say if you're ever passing this way, let me know and we can POAS together, or look at sporn or whatever.

Leela5 · 13/11/2014 17:43

round if applause

noniks what an outstanding return to Fred. Amazing. Nearly weed myself laughing at gaggia putting things up her chuff

Lovely to see you back xxx

honeysucklejasmine · 13/11/2014 17:52

I'm in the home counties Lemon. Smile

So, on a fast day today. Have been mostly making Christmas presents and binge watching Doctor Who.

I had a crazy dream last night and felt a bit twingey today. I'm only 3dpo! I hope the dreams continue though. I view them as a good omen. Grin

Noniks! Yay! Luff you! Grin

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 13/11/2014 17:54

Are crazy dreams a symptom? I have been having truly fucked up ones for the last two nights!

lildottie · 13/11/2014 17:54

welcome back noniks. hope u can do a la and get upduffed in wtf cycle Thanks . well done on the epic catch up!

lemon I'm in Devonshire Grin

Indigoblue2 · 13/11/2014 17:57

Viroids, I'm in Scotland Smile

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 13/11/2014 17:58

I love Devon! Are you by the sea?

gaggiagirl · 13/11/2014 18:00

noniks good lass for returning with such awesomeness!

lemon I'm in county Durham but from Northumberland. . Actually I had pictures of me and DD on my profile but they have disappeared since the mobile site was up dated.

gaggiagirl · 13/11/2014 18:01

indigo your so far my geographically closest viroid!

Noniks3 · 13/11/2014 18:07

Red onion marmalade is my crack. Also love chilli pepper jelly, that River Cottage Preserves book made me a dirty preserver.

Home Counties too who am I kidding, it's Essex but Home Counties sounds much more upmarket

TinkerBlue · 13/11/2014 18:18

Staffordshire calling....

Didn't know River Cottage had a Preserves Book. On the Crimbo list Smile

gaggiagirl · 13/11/2014 18:22

tink are you a Eurovision fan? Hello Europe this is Sweden calling!. I heart Eurovision.

lildottie · 13/11/2014 18:32

Only about 20mins from the sea where we are. We also have the moors down here too so best of both worlds!

jellypi3 · 13/11/2014 18:39

Noniks!!! Fuck yeh, we've missed you! So sorry about the CP but so glad you are back!

Also home counties here....

Ok fuck it, I'm an essex gal (though certainly not stilleto's, chavvy clothes and annoying accent!). :) So Hi from chez Essex!

Noniks3 · 13/11/2014 18:50

I'd also like to state I am not orange or in anyway like a TOWIE knob!

Cheers to Essex Jelly!

honeysucklejasmine · 13/11/2014 18:51

Haha I'm Herts/Beds border. The post office and the local council can't agree what county we are in. Hmm

Lemon I think La gets weird dreams when preggo too.

honeysucklejasmine · 13/11/2014 18:53

Noniks technically normal marmalade is my crack, but onion marmalade, or sweet onions in any form are my class B drug!

TinkerBlue · 13/11/2014 18:59

Ha Gaggia no to Eurovision. Was going for a more "London Calling..." vibe.

I think I have broken my earhole!! Was nose blowing (also a good way of evacuating the cum soup fwiw) and heard a very loud internal noise (like a screech) and am now deaf in one ear Confused occasionally I can hear odd noises but they are from the inside of my ear. I hope this isn't permanent....

Mr Tink is back and has gone straight to bed, bless, will let him catch 40 winks than make a stealth attack. Mwah ha ha...

TinkerBlue · 13/11/2014 19:02

BTW Lemon this is most def a kitten Fred so I bet you are upduffed (hopeful).

jellypi3 · 13/11/2014 19:02

Eurovision...where? I bloody love Eurovision

Swipe left for the next trending thread