Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Still got loads to lose but getting there :) Want to get down to my pre-Uni weight! So about 18kg or so!

I think I was resetting the temp on my thermometer in the morning, so every day it was reading 36.5 (which I thought was a bit odd). I found out you need to hold down the button to read your stored temp lol! Oops

OK, maybe I am stupid, but how do you register a new weight on my fitness pal app? Do you just change it in your goals tab? Will it remember what it was? Confused!

Jelly what do you do about your OH when you are on a fast day? Do you cook him a separate dinner? Or do you have a smaller version of what he does, or let him fend for himself?

Tink please don't despair! I know the pain of long cycles and anovulation hugs to you. BUT I didn't ice till cd32 and the egg still got caught so keep the faith and keep snagging (teehee autocorrect) flashing is good shows your body is building up to doing its thing. Get on that penis!

Honey, on my fitness pal when you go to add food there should be an option on the bottom to add a weight, amend it there :)

Also, when I do a FD normally he fends for himself or I cook us both a healthy meal but he has a bigger portion. But normally he gets a mini pizza or something!

OK... Managed to find it! There was no option on the diary day but on the progress tab I could edit my weight. Annoying as I can't edit what it was in the first place, so it seems I have lost 0.8kg less than actual. And I actually weigh in on a saturday. But I'm on a fast day so wanted to enter last week's loss as motivation today, but now it looks like it is my weight today, as I can't back date it. I'm using it on a tablet so maybe the app is slightly different.

We're having garlic chicken today... My hands stink of it as I have marinated it. Garlic, chilli, ginger, spices. Think I'll have it with a jacket potato but not sure what else. Dry chicken + dry (without butter, sob!) Potato doesn't seem appetising. Suggestions anyone?

How about sweet potato mash? It's much healthier than normal potato and you can mash it with a little splash of no fat yogurt to make it a bit creamy :)

Oooh good idea.

As a side dish I buy a mix of Cous Cous, Bulghar Wheat and Quinoa from Tesco (about £1 for a packet dried). You just simmer it for 10 mins then I add chopped herbs, veg etc, whatever is left basically, for a tasty accompaniment. The cous cous is of course a bit carby but there is only a small quantity in there.
Or,
Sweet Potato wedges dry roasted with paprika and garlic pepper.
Or,
Puy lentils, with lemon juice, garlic and coriander.

I might add that I am existing on toast today. With Butter.

tink my cycles were all over the shop I ovulated cd17, cd20, cd25 and this time cd29. I have never experienced normal cycle so I say just keep shagging xx

Thanks everyone, Dusting off cape as we speak!! will do it doggy to avoid exchange of unpleasant cold related bodily fluids!

la mountain you are my inspiration - if you both have oved late and got your bfmfp's then goddamit i'm going to join you. I'm completely sick and tired of all this now and demand to get upduffed this cycle

Honey will the universe be listening? It better be.....

Yaaaaay tink go on lass!

To try and kick start my period today I'm going to try...1. Jogging on the spot. 2. Hot bath. 3. Sex. 4. Oranges, parsley, pineapple and ginger juice.

Any other suggestions? Or should I not fuck with mother nature?

Yaaaaay tink go on lass!

To try and kick start my period today I'm going to try...1. Jogging on the spot. 2. Hot bath. 3. Sex. 4. Oranges, parsley, pineapple and ginger juice.

Any other suggestions? Or should I not fuck with mother nature?

Gaggia as I am at home and bored I just did a quick google for you and came up with a fat total of zero additions to your above list. Except to say Dr. Google says its totally fine to shove the parsley up your chuff! Apparently this will open your cervix and bring on menstruation. God Love the internet.

On a serious note if I were you I wouldn't fuck about with Mother Nature, I have learned this today with my soy exploits Also, how do you know you are due your period on your wtf cycle? You may ovulate yet?

Step away from the parsley!

Gaggia, I started tensing my pelvis to try and get it going at one point lol!

Give me a T
Give me an I
Give me an N
Give me a K!! Goooooo tink!

Gaggia I literally have tried everything in the past (apart from parsley but might have done if I known about it) are you sure you iced? Xx

Parsley up my chuff? I did not know that. I don't think I'll be trying that out. Garlic up the chuff is meant to heal thrush though fact fans.
tink you are the voice of reason. Maybe I haven't iced yet.
jelly do you mean like pelvic floor clenching? That's always worth doing for a toned tuppence.

mountain I have no idea actually. My opks are duff so them all being neg means nowt really.

Yeh I do Gaggia, was amusing.

Sorry AG is still elusive for you :(

Agnus castus is meant to help bring on a period gaggia. But to be quite honest I really wouldn't worry or try to tamper with it, you're in the wtf cycle, your hormones are coming back to normal after mc and they will - you just need to be patient. I bet in 10 days you will be sorted. I really wouldn't try to bring it on, you're recovering naturally after a traumatic experience.

Sorry to be boring voice of sensibility :(

Right viroids, need some advice.

Just went to the toilet for the first time today bladder of steel right here and I'm still spotting. Now it's more like pinky-cm, but there's enough to make me think this AF isn't over. This means it's 7 days long!

Do any of you get small amounts of bleeding at the end of AF? I am fairly certain I used to just get AF for 3-4 days, then it'd pretty much stop. How long would you wait before seeing a doctor about it?

Also, can I assume whilst I am bleeding I am not ovulating?

Jelly, I'm sorry, I can't remember your stats...is there any possibility you're upduffed?

Not considering I have just had the period from hell for the past week? Surely?

jelly am I right I'm thinking this is first af in years? In which case it's probably just your body getting back to normal. Af can be long/short depending on stress levels, breaks between periods, illness, any medication. It's probably just dragging out a bit. If you're concerned phone doctor but if it were me I wouldn't worry. I had af for a month once due to stress

Thanks La, this is AF number 2 in 5 years. I guess I'm just over reacting, I just remember my periods being clockwork when I had them before the injection, very light, never that painful, always on time, never too long (5 days max).

I'll wait for it to bugger off then. So yeh, no ovulation while AF is here right?