Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 08/11/2014 21:32

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
Leela5 · 12/11/2014 22:17

I couldn't see the pic :(

I also missed katos bollicle. I'm like the blitz on how I met your mother!

gaggiagirl · 12/11/2014 22:23

lemon hearty thanks! Off to look now.....

Khbutterfly11 · 12/11/2014 22:23

I know!! I'm taking full responsibility for my actions lol!! I see a warning and that's it I wanna see!! :-) x

gaggiagirl · 12/11/2014 22:34

That was amazing! Thanks for sharing. I want a tonsil alien now.

Pisghetti · 12/11/2014 22:37

La the link takes you to page 2 so you need to go back a page to see the pic. Unless you're on mobile and just can't see pictures. I wish I hadn't clicked. I feel dirty and not in a good way Confused

Ainat266 · 12/11/2014 22:43

Tart tuppences and a biology lesson. All in a days work.

Though I'm still unsure on how to actually check cervix position. Though I have long nails and am sure it might hurt if I tried! Hmm

Despite the disclaimers I also just looked at that other thread... Wishing I hadn't, but also think that Mumsnet is amazing. Where else could you have that conversation!? Though I shall make sure to listen to lemon in the future!

Balls. I have just remembered that it's a friends birthday tomorrow and I was going to post her a card. Must remember to post it tomorrow and hopefully it'll get to her Friday.

I keep forgetting things and doing stupid things, as well as being extra clumsy lately. It's like I've got some sort of baby brain. I wouldn't mind if I had the BFP to go with it! Earlier I was heating something up in the microwave, it dinged, and apparently I set it off again instead of taking the stuff out. I didn't mean to. But I genuinely can't remember setting it off the second time. DH insists I did and he was stood next to me at the time...

honeysucklejasmine · 12/11/2014 23:37

I note he didn't stop you Ainat! HmmWink

Stargazing in the hot tub this evening. Lovely.

Ainat266 · 12/11/2014 23:41

He didn't. He figured I knew what I was doing...

though I am now annoyed at him. I practically asked him for sex and all I got was a little kiss. instead I've been crying at a programme that has just finished on BBC1...

lildottie · 12/11/2014 23:48

what is it with men not wanting sex!! wierdos!

Leela5 · 13/11/2014 04:29

Ewwww now I've seen it! How do you unsee something?

jellypi3 · 13/11/2014 07:13

What has been seen cannot be unseen!!!!!!

mountaingirl01 · 13/11/2014 07:15

Resist the urge mountain, resist... I so want to look..

jellypi3 · 13/11/2014 07:34

You don't! It's ruined my breakfast!

Did my fast day yesterday. They are getting much easier.

Also realised I've been doing my temps wrong in the morning lol. Fail! So gonna start again today.

Happy Friday-Eve everyone!!

DulcetMoans · 13/11/2014 07:41

Well I can tell you now, I'm not looking!

OP posts:
TinkerBlue · 13/11/2014 07:50

I think I am having an anovulatory cycle Sad I guessed as much as my ewcm is still here and I haven't felt like I ovulated. So, I took my temp this morning and its low. On CD 17. I fucked my cycle up with soy. I wonder if it's because of me showing off about how regular my cycles were on the last Fred?
What makes it worse is I'm having day 21 tests this month. I wanted them to know progesterone levels when I did ovulate, not for them to just read zero. Will keep shagging in case it is late but boo, hiss soy isoflavones Angry

jellypi3 · 13/11/2014 08:13

:( hugs tink sorry it's going so shit.

lildottie · 13/11/2014 08:30

tink keep temping and book day 21 test once you know you've ovulated. that's what I did. try not to get to disheartened. lots of things can delay ovulation, and on CD 17 it doesn't mean you are annovulatory. don't panic.

dulcet me neither!

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 13/11/2014 08:31

Oh Tink what a bummer. Are you sure you didn't ovulate, and just didn't notice? Not that I've really paid attention before, but I've never been able to feel when it happens.

Hugs.

lildottie · 13/11/2014 08:37

day17 isn't annovulatory. at worst its delayed ovulation atm. stress delays ovulation so stressing that you haven't ovulated will only make it worse.

Leela5 · 13/11/2014 08:39

I ovulate sometimes cd25 tink, I'd do what lil suggests x

TinkerBlue · 13/11/2014 08:47

Thanks guys, broke out an opk and its a flashing smiley so maybe it will happen after all. Also still laid up with this cold which probably isn't helping. Sorry for being a thread kill this morning. Total grumpy pants - the dog wouldn't have a wee which made me cry!!! Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 13/11/2014 08:48

Its too soon to panic Tink. And I really don't think the universe monitors your online posts and punishes you for your comments. Smile

lildottie · 13/11/2014 08:52

see I'm always right! cold is probably the reason!

jellypi3 · 13/11/2014 08:59

Gingers crossed Tink :)

I can't believe I was temping wrong...I fail so much sometimes lol!

According to FF if my cycles really are 24 days (which I really hope they aren't) then I'm icing on Saturday! Might whack out the OPK's to check

TinkerBlue · 13/11/2014 09:07

Thank you lovely viroids! Called in sick to work - I am a mess Blush
As a side note I've never had a flashing smiley before, only empty circles straight to solid smiley so maybe this is a good thing?

Well done on the fast day jelly how much you got left to lose? What's gone wrong with the temping?

lil my voice of reason Flowers