Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 08/11/2014 21:32

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
LemonDrizzleTwunt · 12/11/2014 13:34

Also in the spirit of receiving the hooya I need (and making sense of my cycle for the first time), I'd say the bottom one is pos, yes?

Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!
TinkerBlue · 12/11/2014 13:39

Hm, Cum Soup - will fish them out then. Had a bath this morning and am still souped up, high five Mr.T

Lemon Hooya! That way lies the crazy.. Trust me. My name is Tink and I used to be a poas addict (and temping). Until I had a meltdown and went cold turkey! Everything in moderation but just for a few cycles.

No Idea Dulcet was thinking out loud, maybe you also have the Cum Soup?

TinkerBlue · 12/11/2014 13:40

X post Lemon - yep - get your cape on! Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 12/11/2014 13:41

Right, printer sorted. No thanks to fucking Epson. Yahoo answerer Barbara, you have my thanks, whoever you are.

La.... are you ok? It was nearly, right? Shock Pregnancy sounds so glamorous.

Lemon HFS! That is so much contraband! Now then, remember to pee on ov sticks later on in the day. I found better results in the late afternoon if I'm honest, towards the end of the 2-8pm window.

Hahahah Candy yeah I think we deserve a break! There's only so many shags a girl can take before she starts to get a bit ... well, numb. Wink especially when you have a buzzy friend

TinkerBlue · 12/11/2014 13:42

Not sure if ive oved yet la, no contraband - will keep shagging for another week after dh gets back tomorrow. Ive heard soy can delay ov Confused

gaggiagirl · 12/11/2014 13:44

God I still have arse rain! Still!
j I work in a hospital too but we have a posh toilet near the posh board room.

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 12/11/2014 13:46

Haha all! Am on mobile so will really properly when I get home.

Thinking about the cum soup...what if you've had too much sex before ov, then need to DTD at the right time to get preg, but you're already full of previous cum? What happens to it? Does it just drip out, or does your body absorb it/break it down? Strange qu, I know!

honeysucklejasmine · 12/11/2014 13:46

Gosh Lemon, get shagging.

I think I have low amount of LH hormone. Mine are either one line only, dark second line, or yesterday - 1 dpo - super squinty second line. As in, more of a squinter than in the top one of Lemon's picture.

Hoping I got the ov time right, it was when I have CM too. Maybe I'll get cm again later on in the cycle... eventually I iced on CD10/11 which seems very early, although I only have 27 day cycles. At least the LP is very nice and long!

honeysucklejasmine · 12/11/2014 13:47

Yes, good question Lemon ... where does all the cum go?

Reminds me of that folk song, "Where have all the flowers gone?"

Indigoblue2 · 12/11/2014 13:49

"Where have all the cowboys gone!"...

Do-doo-do do-doo-do

Indigoblue2 · 12/11/2014 13:50

Omg just realised that the next line on that (I think Sheryl Crow) song is...

"I will raise the children, if you pay all the bills" GrinGrinGrin

jellypi3 · 12/11/2014 13:51

Viroids, I have a confession...

I just caved and bought 30 OPK's!!!!!!!!

I NEED to know if I am icing and if there is any point whatsoever in thinking about TTC at this point.

Lemon that's a proper contraband hoard!

Our posh toilets are on the client suite floor and rarely used. I do pop up there occasionally and steal the hand cream though!

I think I'll tell DP I'm still spotting and let his penis make the decision about whether to shag me or not tonight.

TinkerBlue · 12/11/2014 13:54

Me too Honey - i'd think I was dying if I turned out the amount of lines lemon can. Just get one good one, max two. Either way or variations of is completely normal. I cant use CB dual hormone digis as I go from nothing to peak - no high. Waste of bloody money.

Food Porn moment: I'm studiously feeding this cold and just had smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, grilled mushroom and spinach and home made toasted bread. Followed by a banana and homemade cherry and almond cake(nigellas loaf), washed down with two cups of tea. It may sound mundane but was unexpectedly heavenly - so I thought I would share Smile

gaggiagirl · 12/11/2014 13:56

honey it's those shite opks we got. I'm totally going to have to buy some more. The last lot I had were fab.

TinkerBlue · 12/11/2014 13:56

Meant either way between lemon and me and honey no one is dying!! Blush I am very ill and make no sense today x

gaggiagirl · 12/11/2014 13:59

tink ooh that sounds delish!
jelly I can't believe it. You must surely know you have sinned for buying contraband. No one else on this thread uses it. I promise we don't we are all SAINTS Grin

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 12/11/2014 14:02

Reminds me of 'where do broken hearts go', next line is 'can they find their way home' Grin

jellypi3 · 12/11/2014 14:08

OMG Tink that sounds heavenly (and torturous when I'm doing a fast day lol).

I know I have sinned for buying contraband...but I'll keep it quiet I promise Wink

Got my first ever jealousy pang at someone announcing their pregnancy on FB today. Never felt it before.

Shits got real!

Indigoblue2 · 12/11/2014 14:11

That's very naughty brilliant jelly. Knowledge is power viroids, knowledge is power.

honey do you know when you iced from temping? Or can you rely on those OPKs enough? I just wondered given that you'd said it's hard to get a strong line.

Guys, anyone else a bit worried about noniks? She's never usually off for this long and I hope to fuck she's ok. Pretty stressful times going on for her atm I bet. ThanksThanks

Good question lemon, I too want to know the answer. It would also be good to know if those of us who don't drink enough water don't get much ewcm, consequently make it harder for spermies to swim where they need to go?

Loving the posh toilet stories!

Indigoblue2 · 12/11/2014 14:12

tink you greedy devil, every part of that sounded yummers!

jellypi3 · 12/11/2014 14:19

I was thinking of her this morning Indigo. Maybe she's taking a break from the TTC talk to get over what's happened. I can't imagine how it feels, but to also have 2 other BFP's the same day that seem to be ok must be quite upsetting for her?

If you are reading this Noniks, big hugs to you hunny x

lildottie · 12/11/2014 14:37

hugs from me too noniks. hope ur OK

viroids I'm having a majorly hectic day then turned up for a meeting that is actually tomorrow!

time to sleep I think!

jellypi3 · 12/11/2014 14:53

Oh no lil i hate coming in to work for no reason! Go get some sleep lass!

Leela5 · 12/11/2014 15:02

And me noniks xx

Right you lot, that's it. Someone needs to bring you JSers back in line. Bad JSers, bad, buying so much contraband. Get shagging!

And Tink there's so thing as too much sperm :)

Now have big swollen belly and a rumbling bum that feels like it's going to erupt. Going to have to run again in a minute. God!

Indigoblue2 · 12/11/2014 15:08

la is this a pg symptom or a bug? Seems quite horrific... Starting to reconsider my TTC enthusiasm...

Swipe left for the next trending thread