Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

OMG! Clearly I lose the ability to read in the early hours! Sorry! Yes I might try to be better at it next month if required and set one. I guess I wake up randomly only every other few days, so the effect of that might be less than taking it randomly.

mountain just did it too! oops.

honey is it the red line that is your temp? if so I can't see a clear biphasic pattern. definitely try and start taking it more regular times. do you actually get up at 5.30? or do you go back to sleep? if you go back to sleep until 7.30 just take it when you wake up again.
and use ff. that app look shit I can refer you and you'll get free VIP use for a bit.

la I love that elephant! I wish I could join seems as neatly as that! I'm too impatient!

dulcet I think I managed to skip chapters instead of pages last night so need to go back and find the bits I actually wanted to read!

Oooh, yes do refer me! Can I go back and fill I'm historic data? Yes red line is temp. I will try and be better, I do tend to go back to sleep.

Yeah you can enter historic data too

la I love that elephant, so clever!

dulcet yep, he suffered me. Although I had to bring out the role play big guns a la bother (not bake off though!) because we keep passing this bug back and forth to one another and otherwise I think he might have just given up before the big finish! only bit I'm interested in so I was teacher, which was fine until he asked me which subject?! How does that matter??

OK I've downloaded. What do I do?

Btw honey I use ovia too and it is shite imo!

La that's adorable.

And entered the basics etc

honey I've pmd you

Tink that's hilarious! Maybe he only finds geography sexy, or something? What did you say?!

Ok, so which MNer left an Amazon review about POAS?! www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/cr/B004EYH8VM/s=sd/ref=mw_dp_cr (scroll down to 14 Aug)

He noticed me hesitate and whispered "just say history or chemistry or something", obviously the devils in the detail. I said chemistry!? Worked though!

Ooh Jelly get that cape on!

La he's very cute. My mum knits cardigans, lots and lots of cardigans :)

I've just finished a birth cross-stitch for my friend's baby - donor egg IVF, a very special little girl. (I've cropped her name out) Just need to pick a frame and then we're done.

lildottie day 24, as I couldn't get a blood test done on day 21.

Previous month was day 23 I think?

Leela5 just saw your comment about my trade in hahahaha

Tink. I'm a chemistry teacher. Now I feel a bit dirty!

Morning ladies.

Just reading about charts and stuff here. I think I saw someone mention they kept a spreadsheet. Was thinking of starting one to chart temp and cm. Does anyone else chart this way instead of an app? I think I might find it more useful.

number what length are your cycles. day 21 is a load of bs. it needs to be done 7days after ovulation so if you have a 34 day cycle you'd go around cd27. at cd21 you would only just have ovulated so prog would be too low to confirm you ovulated. you're results may not mean no ovulation, just the test done at wrong time.

honey sorry for delay, work distracted me. referral done now I think.

lemon lol

lemon not guilty!

I find app good coz you can compare charts with others like yours and it gives you advice as you go. I do fertility friend

But do whatever works for you :)

Loving the crafty pictures! I can't knit for toffee but I can cross stitch. I'm doing one for my bedroom wall at the moment. La that is adorable! My mum is the knitter. She has some fab knitted Christmas decorations. She is currently on cardigan and coat duty but if she whizzes through them as quickly as she normally does I'll see if she can do me an animal

We've got an engineer coming today to installed the fibre optic broadband DH wanted. Not sure if I'm still going to have internet afterwards. I guess it'll be Christmas crafts and DVDs for me this afternoon if not. An limited mumsnet Not sure what the cats will think of the drilling.

Oh well. Need to make my bro a beanie hat with crochet beard, as per his request. Guess I should go and get some supersoft wool or something for his delicate little face. Best find a pattern now before I don't have WiFi!

lildottie totally random, so probably the day 21 would have been pointless.
Can range from 40+ days to last month being 28 days.
I am CD32 at the moment and no sign of the evil bitch witch, although I have burst in to tears this morning over nothing and my face resembles a peperroni ooh my favourite pizza

unfortunately *number GOS are pretty clueless sometimes. i think they do tests on calendar days 2 and 21 for people with pcos/irregular cycles so maybe ask about that. I was temping so booked it when I knew I'd ovulated from temps. temping is also a good way to know if/when you are ovulating contraband of course. I'd try and get a repeat test booked for next cycle. mind you if they aren't shoeing ov you should get a referral to fertility clinic now. how long have you been trying?

I feel I may have corrupted you all

lildottie this was my second lot of bloods, she game me a form for next month, although i'm stilling waiting for AF to arrive. I've only been trying since July (i know, I know!) but because it took me 4 years with DD and 18 months with DS + 2 m/cs and a chem preg she wanted to do the tests now.
My last day 21 came back with a progesterone of 3 crap so i was surprised that was a 28 day cycle!
She cannot refer me as I already have two children so they will not support treatment :(