Step AWAY from the pissy sticks and get back in the bedroom, don your cape (but don't break his banjo string!) and get yourself a bun in the oven like Paul Hollywood! It's Just Shagging 31!

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!  PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.  Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 30 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2210024-The-Truth-about-Um-Bongo-Broken-Penises-and-Sad-Fleas-its-all-here-just-dont-talk-about-the-Elephant-in-the-Womb-Pee-on-Nigel-Farage-or-in-a-Thermos-and-Join-the-Bonkers-Bonkers-for-JS-30" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?msgid=50290589#50290589" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Watching Austin Powers (1) with DH. We cool.

Jurassic park on here . [eye roll]

dulcet is this it here ?

That sounds cool honey

I love Sundays it's the only day I get with dh. We park on sofa all day with the cats, watch films and drink.

I would kill for a glass of wine but I'm terrified I might affect any implantation... :( what do you think? Do you all abstain in twot? I know most of you do

Ooooh! Yum!

la this is my first cycle of being more laid back. I drank a glass a night on hols, and I've had a small glass a night since. I'm pretty stressy and I hope that the wine mitigates the negativeness of being stressed while TTC...

Did you drink at all on the cycle before your last BFP can you remb?

Sorry, just reading that back it sounds a bit insensitive, didn't mean it to. What I meant was, loads of people get their BFPs without totally abstaining, just being sensible. Hope it didn't make you feel sad

Oh god indigo honestly don't worry I didn't think that was insensitive at all

I was on a girls weekend just before bfp so had a few drinks but didn't get drunk. I am just bit stressed coz obviously that bfp didn't turn out well. I'm trying to be good but I think it would be better to do as you suggest and just relax. Thank you

Think so lil. I saw it on telly, mine is clearly better. Contains mucho orange liqueur that I can't spell. Looks the same but my ingredients are different slightly ie. no sour cherries, just mixed dried fruit cos in cheap! Lol.

No abstaining here la, but having said that I barely drink so would only have happened if there was a social occasion in TWW.

thanks dulcet. going to get my mum to give it a go will mention extra orange liqueur... she loves orange!

what is this abstaining thing you speak of? I'm sorry I do not understand!

La she looked beautiful! And I wasn't the only one who thought so

I can't won't abstain completely. Makes me grumpy when AF eventually arrives. Nothing to do with miscarriages, not the volumes we're talking about anyway. I really enjoy a glass or two of wine and in pregnancy - if I'm not vomming everywhere - I've followed the RCOG stance of one or two units occasionally is fine.

Thank you for the warm welcome viroids (I'm trying to get in there with the Fred lingo... )

Leela thanks for commenting saying that it took AF 3 months to come back. Knowing that others have gone through the same thing at least helps a little. Maybe my body isn't broken and just needs some more time. In the meantime I could do with shedding a few pounds so is off the menu for me (unless a special occasion) anyway.

Joining in with the cool movies here, DH and I watched Liar Liar tonight. Hehe. Now just relaxing and wasting a bit of time online before an early night. It is a school night after all!

Evening viroids!! lil there's a recipe for Xmas PhD made with red velvet cake and an ice cream centre in the current good food magazine. On balance the jamie one above looks better.

Welcome aina commander Sheppard

I'm going to try and cut down on the vino this cycle. I'm going to go for none on a school night - it'll be hard before the twot but I'm gonna take one for the team

indigo you're being very good. Mucho impressive! I am world's worst early pisser! I always say - not til the 1st of insert month as af is usually due about the 29th but never make it past about the 25th. Must try harder!!

Home from a weekend away and back to the usual scene of devastation! Mr. Tink has just informed me he doesn't believe in dusting. For once I am silenced, I cannot find the words. Currently wearing marigolds, punky and scowl! It's a good job I don't need shagging tonight

Not punky pinny idiot kindle.

Edited to add, warm welcome ainat and commander!

dulcet I'm going for soy on days 4 -8, just because that's when they arrived!

And I have a million recipes for the food processor, most involving cake, chocolate and chocolate cake, spot the theme?

Ooh welcome aina and welcome back commander! If an evap and a slightly late AF makes it easier to deal with, then I'm sure that's exactly what it was. I completely follow your thoughts there

Liar liar is a great film aina, good choice.

Hope it does the job tink, you'll need opks to be sure! Or do you temp?

Help! I'm stuck watching MOTD as I'm covered in comfy cats! They don't seem keen to move.

Night viroids! I'm knackered, had a day of wedding talk! Too much for me!

Even my nails love cake.

la I don't avoid booze while twotting. I only have about 2 glasses of wine a week though. Although this month post MC I've had about 5 glasses a week. I'm twotting but since dp didn't jizz deliver the goods when I was ovulating I reckon I'm out this cycle anyway.

Morning viroids!

Tired. It's raining outside. I have no motivation to get out of bed.

Yup - it sounds like Monday.

RE alcohol - my problem is that being a seasoned drinker I normally would have more wine per week than a couple of glasses. Eg last week I abstained mon- wed but then had a glass thurs, 1 glass fri and 2 sat. And that's me 'abstaining'. When I got my bfp I didn't drink at all until after the mc.

Normally I'd be half a bottle of wine a night fri/sat/sun then probably another glass or two through week. But these last 5 months I've cut right down.

I guess it's changing many years of habit - I was a bartender for years so used to drink much much more!

I really enjoyed my time off booze after bfp. Felt so much healthier.

I ended up not having any last night and I'm glad.

PS I have achy boobs but it is likely wind this is what I'm telling myself so there's no chance of symptom spotting

Morning! Its cold outside so I am hiding under the duvet.

Can't be bothered today. I have lots of little jobs to do and I don't like faffing.

Morning viroids, still sitting on my hands and haven't tested... Desperate to but trying to keep the magic alive before witch turns up, but it's getting harder and harder!