Step AWAY from the pissy sticks and get back in the bedroom, don your cape (but don't break his banjo string!) and get yourself a bun in the oven like Paul Hollywood! It's Just Shagging 31!

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
   
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
   
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
   
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
   

JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 30 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here

Happy shagging, shaggers!

[Leela5]

I bloody love gadgets! We got a food processor last year and use it constantly pretending we are Jamie Oliver

[jellypi3]

My favorite food gadgets are my mincer, my rice cooker and my halogen oven!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Really excited for you, Purple

It's nice not to hide anymore, everyone's got their gingers and fingers crossed. I feel truly awful in the mornings especially. I just need to eat loads. Mostly carbs. I'm going to be the size of a house

Only a little hooya, Dulcet, it's normal to worry.

I don't think there's much to be gained from testing until a week late...save money and stressy heartbreak

[Indigoblue2]

chat is it not you who is extremely good at not POAS, with excellent willpower? Or was that someone else? I think not testing till a week late might have to involve someone else actually catheterising me.

Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone who I didn't thank the other day.

Think it was maybe dulcet who asked if I was POAS yesterday? I'm approx 14dpo today but AF is like clockwork every fourth Sunday evening so I am fully expecting her arrival. Have had minor stabby boobs this week but not much else really and last BFN was Thursday.

Boo honey sorry to hear the witch is carrying on full force

[ChatEnOeuf]

Yeah, that's me Indigo. I don't like being wrong, and they're really expensive out here!

Wedding was excellent though, DD dazzled, as did the happy couple. Who essentially announced that they're TTC when they return from honeymoon

[Indigoblue2]

purple that's excellent news! Not long now and you'll be back Schrodinging like the rest of us

[BothersomeB]

Yay - gbbo bun is famous! Thanks la
Have turned into cerazy pregnant woman - wanted to kill everyone in sainsburys this morning. Not allowing self out for rest of the day - making soup for weekday lunches (chicken, bacon, cabbage and bean) and roast lamb for dinner instead... cooking is my stress relief.

[wilmabedrock]

God you're all so domesticated! I can't sew, knit or crochet and I'm really not the best cook in the world. Also my house is really disorganized. So, can I just claim to be a feminist instead of lazy/talentless?

[wilmabedrock]

Oh although like Chat I am good at not POAS until AF is late. Woohoo, go me, my one 'talent'.

[gaggiagirl]

I want cake now! I blame you all for my fat ass!

[Indigoblue2]

Really trying hard not to just go and do my last FRER. AF should show tonight, I've no need to test, but it's burning a hold in my bathroom cupboard....

I do have slightly sore boobs. But not so sore that I notice them when occupied with anything else....

[lildottie]

did someone say something about a recipe for a Christmas pud with ice cream inside?

[cookielove]

sorry need to keep this in my active threads :)

[Leela5]

Afternoon viroids! indigo if you're 12dpo or more (and I think you said you were 14?) go for it!

Who's next to test?

I can't knit or crochet. I tried to learn but I don't have the gene patience

Instead I like to write or draw, that's my favourite if I ever get time! Never get time though :(

God I'm shattered have had 3 hours sleep second night running. Asked Mr La for shoulder rub and he started trying to grope. Got told well and truly where to go! Too tired/irritable

8dpo here and not testing til 12dpo!

[CommanderShepard]

Well, on Thursday I thought I was pregnant and now I know I'm not. Had a very very faint BFP on Thursday, started very weird bleeding yesterday, heavy flow today.

Please can we humour me and say it was an evaporation line and AF was late because I was full of cold? I don't think I want to go down other avenues.

DH is off on a stag weekend right in my 'good' days in November so we're out for a while I think, but I'm ok with that. SIL says that being an August baby sucks, but she's the only August-born I know who says that.

[Purplecircle]

Bugger Commander, sounds like a chemical pregnancy to me. I had one in January. Hope you're feeling ok. Have some

[Ainat266]

Evening all! I'm trying to not get too worried about things (still waiting for AF after coming off the pill - I think I'm on CD63 - going to try and get a docs appointment in the near future). Maybe you lot can all help keep me grounded!

Have to say I'm loving the kitchen gadgets and knitting talk. I can't knit. I tried to knit a square once. I think I started with something like 20 stitches, but by the end of my 'square' I had 50 something... Can't remember the actual numbers, but I certainly managed to more than double the number of stitches on each row! How did I manage that?

Maybe I should stick to sewing... I'm okay at that...

[Indigoblue2]

NO la, you're meant to say "don't be silly indigo, save your last FRER for another time", just wait it out!

[mountaingirl01]

Indigo sit on your hands although I'm hardly one to talk full moon unicorn will give a better reading anyway :)

[Indigoblue2]

Why thank you mountain! The urge to POAS had subsided a bit... Not because I am feeling disciplined but more because I can't bear to see another STUPID SINGLE TWATTING LINE.

I'm currently liking the Shrodinging element and no, not building my hopes up. No, not at all.

Nope.

Not. At. All.

[Leela5]

indigo I think you should do it in morning - stroke the full moon unicorn for luck.

commander so sorry lovely, that's shitty. Good to see you back here

Hi aina welcome to the Fred of awesome!

[Leela5]

First morning urine = full moon unicorn

[DulcetMoans]

That was me about the puffing lil. (That's pudding but autocorrect doesn't agree. Left it there as it makes me chuckle.) Think it was a Jamie Oliver a couple years ago and made it every Christmas since. Its pannetone though, not christmaspud.

indigo, no POAS tonight. Do it tomorrow morning!

Why you not sleeping la?

Hi commander, sorry about AF. You will probably never know either way but let's go with evap if it helps.

Never said I was any good at crochet wil, not finished a project yet! And my house is a tip most the time still. I'm normal!

[honeysucklejasmine]

Indigo, you do make me giggle!

Hi commander and aniat

Still amazed by how little af is hurting. I guess there's a silver living in e anything huh, even mc!

[Leela5]

aina my af took 3 months to come back after pill. Most frustrating 3 months ever but we will keep you amused til yours arrives, gx it's soon!

chat so glad you enjoyed the wedding! Must be a relief that they all know so you don't have to pretend. Bet mini chat looked beautiful!

We are having takeaway I couldn't face cooking I'm too tired. Was working in bar Friday then out last night. Wasn't drinking but couldn't sleep :(