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Step AWAY from the pissy sticks and get back in the bedroom, don your cape (but don't break his banjo string!) and get yourself a bun in the oven like Paul Hollywood! It's Just Shagging 31!

999 replies

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 14:52

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.


JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 30 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
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glidingpig · 01/11/2014 20:51

Aw, I like Christmas pudding. Only once a year, but I do. With thick cream, mm.

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RPopz · 01/11/2014 20:53

I find it easier to type in the app weirdly honey - tis annoying about the pictures though!

I think crochet is loads easier than knitting! Though I'm not that great at either Wink

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rm00054 · 01/11/2014 21:00

I like Christmas pud! Though, to be fair, I do absolutely smother cover it in brandy butter, so maybe that's why! not looking forward to a tee total Christmas this year

honey that decoration is gorgeous. Was the stencil from a website? Could I have the link please.

Stats sorry, you can't get rid of me yet
rm
25
Incubating dc#1 currently 'pea' sized

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wilmabedrock · 01/11/2014 21:07

Ok I stand corrected about Christmas puds!

I also find the app easier and faster than the mobile site. Although the lack of automatic capitals annoys me.

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honeysucklejasmine · 01/11/2014 21:12

RM it was one i had to mess with. If you have a junk email address (for surveys and shit) please pm me and i'll send you the file... Messed with it a bit.

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fattycow · 01/11/2014 21:57

I like cake, I just hate fruit cake! Nasty bits in there!


I am a knitter. I think I'll start on a baby blanket next. Smile

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jellypi3 · 01/11/2014 22:04

I hate fruit cake. It has hidden ninja raisins in it!!

I love home made sponge cake though.

Why am I on a diet?!?

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ChatEnOeuf · 01/11/2014 22:23

Ooh new Fred time! Thanks La.

I must be weird: I like both fruit cake and Christmas pudding, only with brandy custard though. Not sure if I'll bother this year.

I'm also on the app so can't see lovely decorations. The lack of auto capital letters also really bothers me! I thought I was alone in that Smile

For some reason I can only knit, not crochet... though my current project is a cross stitch square for a charity quilt. It has butterflies and is beautiful.

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 22:46

you crochet lot are weird! there's a curve on your needle and you're missing one! Wink

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TinkerBlue · 01/11/2014 23:54

Ah I thought I might be outcast as anti feminist and rock and roll etc for the processor Christmas pressie but all your talk of knitting/crocheting has made me feel much better! Wink
Just had a lovely Greek night out but must confess to really missing fur babies and mr. Tink. Glad to have you viroids to catch up with tonight Smile
Soy arrived today so just taken first dose, it tasted nasty and I believe can give you headaches but I'm gonna keep up with it for 5days. Already stopped temping and haven't bought any opks so soy is my only contraband now! Feeling slightly virtuous and also nervous Confused if it fucks my cycle up I guess I only have myself to blame. At this stage of the game I feel like anything is worth a try?! Any way here goes x

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DulcetMoans · 02/11/2014 06:46

Food processor is a fab gift tink! Have you got your eyes on any particular recipes? Good luck with the soy, what days are you taking it? Sure I read some go for 1-5/2-6/3-7 etc. wasn't sure why!!

I find the app much quicker honey, just one click and no logging in. Mine capitalises though... Am on iPhone, maybe that's why?! Can't always see the end on PMs though, annoying.

Love the sound of your cross stitch chat, which charity is it?

I know wil, that's the normal reaction for disliking cake. It's the texture of sponge really, and not into the taste. More cake for everyone else though!!

So I'm up, can't sleep. Same happened in my first pregnancy. Also some AF style cramps to keep me worried! Confused

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wilmabedrock · 02/11/2014 07:26

Good point Dulcet. More cake for me is a winning argument.

So we're discriminated against for not having an iphone? Time for a revolution. The people demand capitals (and photos while you're at it).

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ChatEnOeuf · 02/11/2014 08:21

Morning! Food processor sounds grest as a present, I'm getting a waffle maker Grin

So everyone knows. I had to eat during the service, and couldn't even think about a sip of champagne for the toasts. Hey ho, they're all good friends.

It's LoveQuilts, they're on Facebook as well as regular t'internet.

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DulcetMoans · 02/11/2014 09:34

Must google waffle maker!

Well at least it's out there chat, you starting to feel a bit rotten?

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RPopz · 02/11/2014 09:49

Morning viroids!

Mum bought my sister a food processor for Christmas last year... she was unimpressed Grin She bought us a smoothie maker Hmm

Mini hooya Dulce! Periody crampy growy baby Smile

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RPopz · 02/11/2014 09:50

Eek Chat - is it scary being out in the open?? Hope you enjoyed the wedding Smile

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honeysucklejasmine · 02/11/2014 09:57

TMI alert. Period woke me up in the night.... So much blood! Very clotty and gross. I swear i go through so much toilet paper when I'm on.

I would love a sewing machine for Christmas. I have to steal my mum's at the moment. We aren't good feminists, are we? Grin

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RPopz · 02/11/2014 10:01

Booo, sorry honey Xxx Brew Thanks Wine

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DulcetMoans · 02/11/2014 10:24

Hooya accepted popz, thank you. what about just aching?!

A sewing machine is a good one honey, might look at that too. My old one is broken and smells like fire when I turn it on. Not good!!

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Purplecircle · 02/11/2014 10:26

Marking place

Name: Purplecircle
Age: 40
Ttc since Jan 14, currently on medically enforced break
DCs: none. M/C July 14

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Leela5 · 02/11/2014 10:30

Hi purple!

OP posts:
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Purplecircle · 02/11/2014 10:33

Morning viroids. Fanks for new Fred La, and I get a credit in the title too SmileSmileSmileSmile

It's a good job we're not back in the game, broken awesome one managed some action yesterday after 2 weeks off was nearly chewing me fists off in frustrationsbut it needed protecting

Can't remember if I posted about hospital appt but another couple of cycles and we should be back yayyyy!

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Purplecircle · 02/11/2014 10:34

failure

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Leela5 · 02/11/2014 12:14

Brilliant purple!

I missed whole Christmas pudding/knitting conversation last night as I was out, will catch up later.

Thought this might be useful for anyone tempted to test early - it's the stats for bfp in pg women at the various dpo. Pretty much no point testing til 11dpo!

here

OP posts:
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MaGratgarlik1983 · 02/11/2014 12:19

I thought of you lot last night when Paul Hollywood was on Jonathan Ross! Anyone see it?

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