TTC after MC - the best shit place to be!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

charlie I know exactly what you mean. My therapist was the usual pay per session situation but that was still so awkward! He basically listened to me moan/cry/rage for am hour, then I got my wallet out my bag, gave him some money and thanked him for his time. It was awkward every.single.time.

Thanks for your advice guys! I was only just gone 4 weeks and go a negative hpt within a few hours so am hopeful! Planning on testing next weekend!

monten my last therapist was part of a large practice with a receptionist etc so I just paid w my credit card after the session. It made it much less cringey.
One of the things I'm finding a little difficult about City P is that it IS so specific. So for a few weeks when I was feeling ok about the MC etc I was like "do you need this time for someone who REALLY needs it?"
But my mind is going to preg-related hell again so now I feel a bit better using the service. I wish it were a bit more of a transaction in a way. Like I pay them to be my void (I don't remember who was talking about that, or even if it was you, but I like that idea that she's not a person, she's just a void for me to pour my sh*t into)

It was me with the void idea- glad you like

Ladies, I need to vent and poor DH has heard it all about 50 times (per day lol) so can't put it on him again... I am so sodding sick of waiting to ovulate!! It's CD38; last two cycles I ov'd on CD34 and CD31, and the one before that probably CD46 or so. I'm going to acupuncture, eating low GI, getting exercise, have given up dairy, am off to the herbalist on Friday for various twigs and leaves, just don't know what else I can do to make my body cooperate!!!

We started trying 14 months ago and got pregnant in the third cycle, MMC found at 12 week scan. We've now been trying six months/in the fourth cycle and I'm so sick of the whole process.

Thanks for letting me vent...

Hi everyone,

I've not been on here for a while but glad I found the new thread. Congratulations to those who have had BFPs! I notice that there are some new names on here since I last logged on which is very sad, but this is a good place to get some much needed support from ladies who are going through something similar and who understand. I've certainly found that these past few months.
As I haven't been here for a while I guess I should give a quick update. Been TTC since March. Fell PG in April but then had a MMC at 9 weeks in June and an ERPC. First AF arrived 6 weeks later then I had a ridiculously long cycle of 58 days!! You can imagine how excited I was as the weeks went on and then how devastated I was when AF arrived.
So I'm on my 2nd proper cycle since the MC even though 4 months have gone by. Today is CD32 and since cd24 I've had such sore nipples and my boobs have been ballooning in size these past 9 days. I built myself up so much last month only to be disappointed that I'm trying (but not really succeeding!) not to get excited. My boobs really feel just like I remember them being when I was pg before. Also I'm feeling a little bloated and hot all the time. I think I'm going a little mad with all this symptom spotting.

Anyway, enough about me. I need to read back and catch up on the thread. Good luck to all those who are waiting to test!!

xx

daisy and purple - I'm going to test next weekend too, probably on Sunday. I confess I did a cheeky IC test this morning which was negative. It's disappointing but then I knew that it would be negative so why on earth do i do these things to myself?? Then again, that's why I bought those cheap sticks.

Last time I was pg my boobs were sore for 16 days before I got a BFP, so based on that I really should leave it until at least Sun. The wait is SO difficult!!!!

Hello all. I'm on CD 28, 12 DPO. Pre-MC my cycles were 26/27 days long. Last month's cycle was 27 days long and I thought that my body had got back to normal. Maybe last month was just a fluke though. Since the MC I've had cycles of 30 and 33 days. God knows about the WTF cycle. I thought the MC bleed lead straight into my first AF bleed but who knows.

I've had cramps, but also had them last month and the wishful thinking then didn't pay off. My boobs are sore which does sometimes happen before my period and sometimes doesn't. I didn't get sore boobs last month but definitely did when I was pregnant.

Last time I 'just knew' I was pregnant as I had a massive waive of hormones that felt like way too much to just be PMT. I haven't had anything like that this time though.

DP thinks I should wait till Wednesday to test, but I think i might have to do a first response in the morning.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post is. Just getting it out I suppose.

Sarahlou that must have been so tough having such a long wtf cycle, not knowing what was going on. Do you have any idea what dpo you are?

Bear I would be tempted to do the frer if your cycle was shorter last month but just don't give up hope if it is a bfn. I am considering testing early and you are officially late!

Thanks Purple. I'm really not sure if I'm late or not. Period Tracker is predicting a start date of Thursday. Period Tracker takes an average of your last three cycles and they have been all over the place. However, last month I seemed to be back to my pre-MC cycle length. I'm sure curiosity will get the better of me and I'll test. Good luck to you

Thanks Bear, you too. Keep us posted! It is so hard to know when everything gets messed up.

thesmallbear - I would definitely do a test tomorrow morning. You're 12DPO and a first response test should show up pregnancy hormones by now. And, as purple says, even if its a negative, you're not out until AF shows up. Fingers crossed for you!!

Purple - I have absolutely no idea. I've been trying to do OPKs and temping this month but I work shifts which means all sorts of different sleeping patterns and waking times so I don't think the stats in fertility friend are accurate at all . All i know (from Period Tracker) is that when I was pregnant in May, I had sore boobs for 16 days before I had my BPP. If things are similar now, then I really should be waiting until next Tues to test.

What about you?

That should read BFP! Oops!

Thanks Sarah.

My friend who lives overseas has emailed me. She is coming home for Christmas and wants to meet up around the beginning of December. She has a baby. Please someone advise me how I manage to do this!? I haven't had to be around any babies since the MC. I'm worried I'll cry. Also, as I'm trying for my first baby, it's all new to me and I don't really know what I'm doing. As she know's I'm trying, I'm worried she'll expect me to do lots with the baby and I won't know what I'm doing and will come across as inadequate.

small - I completely understand. My little niece was born on the very day AF came at the end of my mammoth 58 day cycle last month. Nature can be very cruel can't it. I went to see her a week later and was so worried that I'd crumble but I was strangely fine while I was cuddling her. It was in the car on the way home that I burst into tears. I'm glad I went to see her though as I got a chance to rock her to sleep and to wind her after her feed. It was poignant but I saw it as a chance to have a bit of practice

Does your friend know about your mc?

Thanks sarah. I hope I manage to stay as together as you, but fear I am not that strong. Yes she knows about the MC. I'f I hadn't MC'd our babies would only have been six months apart

I know that feeling smallbear :(
My friend and I would have had babies 4 months apart :(

I did the same as sarah, coped in the moment then broke after.

I caught up with a friend today and she asked when we're having children. Ugh :(

smallbear - Well if she's a sensitive and considerate friend she'll appreciate how tough it will be for you to be around her baby and won't expect you to get involved, etc. unless you want to.
It's so difficult being around pregnant women and new mothers isn't it. I find having a good sob helps now and then. I had a massive meltdown in work in September when someone was talking about babies and had to dash to the loos but felt much better afterwards. Even if the tears come when you're with your friend, I'd hope that she'd be the type of person to give you a big hug and give you the support you need xx

Stupid friend Treacle, people really don't think.

Bear if you can I would just try to be honest with her. If she is a good friend she will totally understand your feelings and will probably be quite glad you are being open about them. And I very much doubt she will expect you to know what to do. Most people don't until they are forced to.

Sarah I think I am 7dpo but I don't temp so can't be sure.

small, I have found bumps way harder to deal with than babies - maybe because I want that feeling again and when babies have arrived, you can just wallow in their gorgeousness rather than envy the mum. I should have had our baby ten days before our nephew arrived and seeing them the other week was tough so I understand exactly where you are coming from. I would be honest with your friend and say you're apprehensive of meeting because of your grief and sorrow and you're worried about getting upset in front of her as it's been a really emotional time but you are really happy for her and you can't wait to meet her little darling and to have a squidge. I'd even say something like "but I am not touching pooey nappies for love nor money!" to make it seem more lighthearted and so that she doesn't feel uncomfortable or worried about coming over and upsetting you more than you already are. Be strong, sweet, it'll be you showing off your little bundle soon! Xx

Thanks everyone. The date she wants to visit is exactly one month before my due date. I think I might be honest and say I might struggle for that reason - as I should be a mum exactly one month to that day. Hopefully she will understand.

smallbear it's so tough. Try to be honest if you can but listen to your heart. I had to run out at work earlier when some people next to me at lunch had started talking about uni research centre looking at fetal/baby illness, all about how in first thousand days after conception the body can fix and heal itself. I just kept thinking why couldn't my baby heal itself? Why can't anyone tell me why he/ she died? Had to run off for cry in loos, not best timing just before big meeting. It just keeps hurting.
Sorry that was a bit of a rant. DH away and DD was an impossible pickle all evening so am tired and homonal and stressed. Am sure AF is about to arrive.
Hope someone out there is having better night?

Sarahlou I tested yesterday on cd 21 as I normally have quite short cycles and it was negative - felt sad and wondered why on earth I put myself through it!!!

Sorry to hear of BFN brummie, maybe too early? I'm desperate to test, never had such strong obsession with testing. CD33. Am holding on (so far!) as DH is away - I've always had him here for testing so we find out together, and right now don't think I could handle neg test on my own. But argh wanna POAS!! Crazy ttc lady here

Just catching up. to everyone. We're all on a tough journey. Honesty is the best policy when it comes to insensitive friends or visitors with babies etc.

I found myself feeling. .. awkward.. when out today. Soooo many pregnant woman and babies. .my mind kept wandering every time I spotted a buggy. I want to stop being this gormless starer who no doubt freaks pregnant women out and just be one of them!

I bought 'taking charge of your fertility' today. The books huge. Best get reading!

I did that twice MrsC, DH was away both times I was pregnant and I waited. That was before mc though, not sure I could wait now as I am most definitely more obsessed with the whole thing. Well done for waiting, sounds promising!