TTC after MC - the best shit place to be!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Big hugs mademoiselle, there is nothing I can say to make this go away and it is shit.
Just take the time to look after yourself and don't apologise. We all understand in one way or another x

Enormous hugs Mademoiselle and Chasing. Definitely liking the idea of hiding under a duvet until a beautiful, bouncing, healthy, full-term baby is ready to be delivered into our arms.

Wouldn't that just be perfect cariad ? I'm picturing myself like a (non sinister) version of the sleeping beauty, with a growing belly! Of course my dd wouldn't grow up in that time, so that I don't miss a thing!

Moiselle big hugs my love. Life is hard when there's not enough brain space to process daily crap. It's like 90% of your brain revolves around this portion of our lives. It must be so hard to be thinking of the things you'd be doing now. I know I'm going to find it hard too. A (not close) friend has announced they are pregnant and due date is only two weeks before what should have been mine. So far I'm not finding pregnant women or birth announcements too hard actually, it's the babies. The tiny babies and the women in coffee shops with their sleeping babe's wrapped up in their buggies etc. I can't concentrate and I can't bare to look :-( it's bloody exhausting isn't it. There's a slight sense of relief that we can't conceive for a while now, I'm at least free from the hell of ttc right now. I can only pray that my hcg plummets and this part of this nightmare is over. I'm going to spend those months we are unable to ttc to lose weight and try to recover emotionally.

cake if you are reading but not ready to talk yet, just know I'm thinking of you. We all are.

I took a hot water bottle to bed but dh seems to think the leaflet said no painkillers. I'll have to double check. They didn't seem to last very long at all. I'm worried that A) the worst is yet to come or b) the drug isn't working.

I had about 5 minutes of seriously intense pain, had me in tears. But then just dull ache. I don't know. .

Morning ladies, hope you are all well today. Change of username (AmyyLawsonn)

Chasing Hope you are feeling better :( I don't know if we seem to notice more babies now or if there really are more babies around now but I can't go 5 minutes in our town without seeing a baby, and I just wanna grab them all for a big cuddle! I don't think their mother's would approve so I have held back lol.

When I work out how, I am going to start a new thread to ask for people's advice who have had a medical management after a MC as I am still getting BFPs, so if you can help please have a look out for it or message me, much appreciated!

Amy are you on your phone love? If so there's a + button at the bottom to add a new thread.

Your positive pregnancy tests will be because your hcg isn't

Chasing I'm on a computer at work today (working hard!) so I have found it!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2232385-How-long-should-it-take-roughly-to-get-a-BFN-after-medical-management-on-a-MC?

Think that should take you to the thread.

It was 2 weeks today since I was given the first pill and I think I was told that day that I would need to take a test in 2 weeks time. That was the last time any bloods were taken. They never booked an appointment for me or anything, no advice. I was in Hospital the Thursday after for the full day and was told 'It looks like everything has passed so the Doctor has said you can go home. Here is your discharge sheet' and not even a goodbye! (Although the other nurses had been very sweet with me) . so I feel very much in the dark.

Thank you all for your thoughts and kindness. Especially to newera and mademoiselle for the pms. We managed to get through the day yesterday, the funeral was short but personal and we were surrounded by friends and family. The love and support has been overwhelming and does help on those very dark days. Today was terrible, waking up and having to face it all again, knowing I'll never be able to just hold him or touch him again, We are really only functioning at all because of our dd, she needs us and we need her too, despite the preschooler behaviour at times but it is important to keep going as best we can for her.

I'm wishing you all so much luck on your ttc quests, it's such a bloody hard decision to ttc after mc, people have no idea if they haven't been throught it and seeing people all around you getting upduffed can sometimes feel like every other person in the world is pregnant. You will get there though, I just wish I could make it fast for you all x

Whether we will ever ttc again I don't know, it's too early to decide. Plus I suspect I'll need advice from the docs anyway having had a placental abruption and emcs, and being close to the big 4-0.

I'll keep lurking and keeping my fingers crossed for you all x

Much love Cake. You and your family are very much in my thoughts xxx

Cake You're in my thoughts, sending you hugs xx

Big hugs Cake my thoughts really are with you.

It's the other people that make it harder. Every day I seem to have a new baby bomb. It's literally never ending.

Today,someone came back to work after being on paternity leave for 2 weeks and stood over me talking to someone else about their new baby.

Then in a training session today,someone thrust a pic of a newborn on their phone in my face.

Then tonight on FB - yet another scan pic of someone else announcing their pregnancy and she is a year older than me at 39!!!!

I want to scream, she's older than me and already got a DC how the fuck has her baby survived and my two haven't???

I know this makes me the cow bag bitch from hell and very irrational but the baby bombs are just relentless and I just feel a stab of pain

I never want to put someone through what we've all been through

Oh cake, just so many hugs coming your way xx

Hi jet, long time no see. Hope you're ok xx

Been thinking of you cake sending you lots of love and hugs

brummie I feel your pain :( seems to be all that happens to me too lately, so hard to deal with and I often feel angry about the fact DH and I can't seem to make a baby yet there are so many out there with children who never even really wanted them.

Hi everyone, have been lurking and not posting much just lately, in a vain attempt to not obsess about getting pregnant not that it's working

Congrats on the BFP's so pleased for you all. Fingers crossed for happy health and very boring pregnancies!!

Sorry for all the newbies who find themselves here. My heart goes out to you, but you're with like minded people who totally understand what you're going through.

cake - I am so sorry for your loss. I don't suppose there are enough words that can help right now. But you are in my thoughts.

I am still focussing on TTC, DH and I want our first baby together more than anything, if our 2 losses have done anything, it's made us realise it's what we do want. I have take soy isoflavones this cycle in a vain attempt that it might help as I normally have very long cycles. I'm currently on CD20. No symptoms, no indication that I've ovulated so I'm thinking that I perhaps haven't yet. My body seems to do whatever it likes - Id just like it to be normal. DH and I are DTD every other day regardless at the moment and hopefully will catch an egg if it ever makes an appearance. I have stayed away from OPK and temping as with PCOS they are not reliable at pinpointing ovulation.

My colleagues made me laugh today but soul destroying at the same time when one of them told me that I was being gossiped about and the rumours were that I was pregnant. If only they were right for once. I'm going to let them keep gossiping because when I finally am they probably won't twig as they are wrong this time.

Baby dust to all and hope that Santa brings is our much wanted BFP's

Brummie I hope you're ok hun, I totally feel your pain.

I'm having a bit of a meltdown tonight after looking on Facebook to see babies and scans every other post. Have been overcome with overwhelming feelings of grief, anger, jealousy and failure. I know I'm being silly and it's just one of those days but god, I would not wish this experience upon my worst enemy. Just feel like I must have done something bloody awful in a past life to deserve this, and I don't know how to stop myself from thinking it's all my fault somehow :( sorry for the depressing post :(

Hi all, just popping in to say hello.
I had similar allthefours, someone asks me neatly every week "oh you're not pregnant are you?". She knows what I've been through. How bloody insensitive.
Sending hugs to all.
We've done nothing wrong and we will get our babies. I wish I understood why this has to happen to such lovely people.
Xxx

Treacle that's awful, very insensitive and ignorant! I hope you're ok x

Thank you all for your kindness x I really recommend just coming off Facebook and all other social media stuff for a while. The contestant baby announcements etc are so bloody hard and I've also found it really interesting to see who keeps in touch when you aren't on there. Think it reveals pretty fast who your true 'friends' are, so I'll probably ditch Facebook for good.
X

Oh god Facebook is the Devil's work when you're not feeling chipper. I totally agree. Came off there a few months ago and feel a lot calmer for it.

Plus forcing myself to be happy for other people's baby news and thousand newborn photos was just making me bitter. They weren't close enough friends to care either way but I felt compelled to show my happiness for them even to the detriment of my own well being. 'Twas a bit silly really.

Cake, big hug to you. Keep talking to us xx

I agree with the Facebook issues... I used to go on it all the time, I now still have it but deleted the app so I check it much less often.

Having a very shit day today.. Feeling really poorly anyway and slept really badly, then at work got asked to write a report about my first two weeks in my new job (which happened to be the weeks of my miscarriage - very difficult!) and then got home to find out our family dog is really poorly and it's not looking good :( I dont know what to do about writing the evaluation... I can't think of those 2 weeks in detail without getting really upset. Think I may just have to tell my boss what happened and see if I can get out of it. It's the only situation I've not been able to separate from work, and Sod's law it happened all at the same time!

Sorry for the me me me, how's everyone else doing? Any positive opks or encouraging BFP symptoms? Would love some happy news! X

Daisy I think I'm your situation I would. Approach boss and say while you understand the value of doing the evaluation, you had actually been suffering a miscarriage during your first few weeks with them and hoped you proved professional and an asset during that time, you had worked hard to separate tour personal and work life and that if there was anything in particular they wished to discuss about that time you would be open to discussion but that you are finding it difficult to complete the evaluation.

Anyone with a heart would let it slide
Xxxx

Waiting on day 4 results. Should be called soon.

Ooh yes... any bfp's!?

Hi guys!

Not posted in ages as was trying to not become ttc obssesed but it didn't work! And I'm still slowly going mad...

Can't bel I was off a few weeks and there's been a few bfps-congrats to u all and fingers crossed u have a boring 8 months ahead :)

Cake I'm so very sorry to hear your story. I hope your doing as well as u can and have lots of lovely people to keep u going in RL...

I'm 6dpo, we DTD day 13. 14(post lh surge).15.16. I'm thinking that's good going but am feeling very down in the dumps it hasn't happened again. Also I noticed my ecwm stopped on day 15 when I thought I would ovulate-any ideas from any ladies out there? This is month 4 and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep going! It's going to be 2 years since I started this journey and I think I'm starting to loose my mind some days....

Sigh...

Hugs to others have a shitty time too
X

Thanks Amy, i am ok, I'm finally dealing a little better with the mc (mine was 6 months ago).
Trying my hardest to enjoy myself as much as possible.

Daisy, I agree, I'd speak to your boss and explain. Hope it all goes ok x

cakes you have been in my thoughts xx

chasing how are you feeling? I hope the pain has subsided. Did you get the results? Fingers crossed it's coming down.

Treacle what's that lady's issue? She needs to shut it.

Fingers crossed for thoses waiting to see if a little bean has caught this month.

DP and I DTD this evening, first time since the miscarriage (2 weeks ago tomorrow). It was really painful at first, more so than it's ever been. The plan is to DTD every 2 to 3 days until I get a period or BFP. I'm battling my own guilt as part of me is desperate to TTC immediately, I need to be doing something, the longing for another baby is immense. The other side of me doesn't want it to discount the memory of the little bean we lost :(

I'm also getting bitter. I was watching princess Kate on TV and felt angry that she has a little boy a similar age to mine yet she got a 2nd healthy pregnancy without having a loss. It's irrational and illogical as I would never wish a loss on my worst enemy. The emotions attached to losing a baby, as you all know, are sometimes too overwhelming to deal with.