TTC after MC - the best shit place to be!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Hi Brummie,

Thanks for that. I do feel like being busy has helped to take my mind off things (well, a bit!). Unfortunately I work in a criminal defence solicitors so I'm having to deal with rude clients and its difficult today to be polite! I've managed so far though and only 2.5 hours left so I'm sure I will make it to the end of the day and at least that's the first day over with.

It feels very strange though.. almost like the whole thing never happened. Noone wants to upset me so haven't asked me anything at all and just been left to get on with things how I normally would be. I sort of feel guilty that things have just returned to how they were before the baby but I can't just wallow in self pity forever.

Fx for a BFP for you!! x

Sometimes the hardest part of dealing with issues that only directly affect us (and our significant other) is that while we are encased in our emotions, others have merely taken a moment to think of us before the whole world just carries on around us. Our logical brain knows that life must keep moving, but our hearts wonder how everyone else can be so utterly unaware of our heartbreak, surely things should slow down and somehow make things better.

Reminds me of this I saw the other day:

Chasing, that poem brought tears, very much what my body feels like right now. And you are so right. Thank you x

That made me cry too. It's so true that the world just carries on whilst other people's fall apart.

I should imagine that poem might be especially true for cake right now. I've been thinking of you cake. I hope you are safely snuggled in bed and being showered with love after today. Xx

Amy, it made me sob something awful when I saw it! Hope you're ok after first day back x

Chasing Thanks hun. I'm glad its almost over but pleased I came in (it was a close call!) xx

NewEra That's so true. We all have each other here though where we all know the heartache one another has and is suffering, even when others in the world don't. Lucky them. x

Do you know what, I think I found the fact that everyone just getting on with their lives the hardest thing for me.

My world had imploded and yet it makes no difference to anyone else.

But I'm one of life's great sharers so I talked!! I was very open about it. I found keeping quiet very isolating.

But I'm still feeling need to talk, and analyse everything and talk about my feelings and how angry I am that my babies haven't survived. So got my first counselling sesh on Wednesday after work

I'm allowed 6 paid for by work so fingers crossed it helps

Brummie I'm usually a talker too. I so hope counselling works for you I think it's great. I see a therapist for treatment of a phobia I have but she got me in on Saturday to solely talk about the MC and it done me wonders. Xx

I'm a talker too. I have been finding it really hard that it is such a taboo subject when I need to talk to get it out of my system. Nobody at work even knows about it and even my close family, don't seem to know how to talk about it. My mum never even asked how I was but she must just not know what to say. That's why this group is such a support.

Purple, my mum has mc so much it's like she's detached from it. Obviously it's a long time since she last was pregnant or mc, but it's like she says supportive things but it doesn't feel real. There's an underlying thing of "this happens every day to thousands of women. . It's one of those things...time to move on!"

Tag lines which are really getting me at the minute is "your young, plenty of time" - oh yes. So long as I've years of child bearing ahead of me, this one doesn't matter because I can replace it.

And "it's ok, you'll have another" ..yes. But I wanted this one

I am a talker, but I can feel I need to see someone professionally about it. Things happened so quickly and it's been such a rough year, I feel traumatised almost, scared of being pregnant again and not at all excited or looking forward to birth the way I did with dd and after, it was a wonderful experience I would love to have again, but now I'm terrified of intervention and actually, having been varying degrees of depressed for a while now, very worried about pnd.

Maybe I should look into it.

Chasing I'm fucking terrified of going through an mc again. Done it twice - not sure I can do it again.

My thoughts are that when the stove is on, you know it's hot and it's really hot so your instinct stops you from touching it because it will burn and it will hurt.

My mc was horrific - the ERPC was only civilised thing about it. Therefore the thought of intentionally putting myself in a position where that could happen again. How can I bring myself to so that???

So yep fucking terrified of becoming pregnant again. But we want a baby so have to deal with it. Hopefully counselling will help me deal with it

It's a bloody horrible place to be emotionally isn't it :( right now pregnancy feels like a mean to an ends. Like I want to get pregnant but will squeeze my eyes shut and hide till its over. That alone hurts. I adored my first pregnancy and had been so sad to know this would be my last time experiencing it. (We only want to children) I feel like this has ruined me, my ability to enjoy future pregnancy.

Fuck :-(

sticking my head in for reassurance. ..cd21 and I've been havibg some cramping last day or so. went to pilates tonight and had sharp pain where cramping has been happening. Worried it was a bean trying to burrow in and I've screwed it up

Gosh, so many wise words on here tonight.

chasing that poem is beautiful. And this this happens every day to thousands of women. . It's one of those things...time to move on! is exactly how I feel people are with me.

And yes - completely agree, pregnancy is now a means to an end. It's very sad.

Charlie nothing you could have done will have affected chances of it burrowing in. If you do have a been in there, its teeny tiny, less than a millimetre at this point. Nothing could have impacted it.

I'm either 7DPO or 10 DPO (depending on if I believe the OPK or my body).

Not many symptoms. Felt my cervix today - high and hard. when I was pregnant before it was always very low and very soft. So now I'm depressed.

Chasing and Brummie. Hope counselling helps and you get your babies soon.

Thanks monten and amy Re symptoms, I've been mostly dizzy and lightheaded - almost fainted in pets at home in Derby the other day! - sore boobs, total exhaustion but insomnia and a touch of nausea. So you can imagine I don't look at all glam at the mo! I just pray this sticks....

monten we are cycle twins! I'm either 10 or 7 dpo depending which +ve opk i go by. confusing month
thanks for your words re pilates, im just so paranoid about any crsmping/twinges/anything in my uterine zone. stupid ttc. stupid mcs.

So do I broody I have everything crossed for you x

Thinking of you cakes xx
I hope counselling helps you chasing and brummie.
It does feel like a taboo subject but i'm lucky my parents and closest friends have talked to me loads about it. It's really helped.
I'm worried about the coming weeks as people stop asking how we are and start wondering if we're pregnant again yet.
I know i'm meant to have a BFN before i ttc but i want to start DTD this week in case i ovulate. The hospital want me to test on the 24th so even if we amazingly caught an egg between now and then, it wouldn't show on a test yet.
Fingers crossed for more BFP's this month!

Totally agree with all the 'taboo subject' comments. My mum never went through any mcs so doesn't know what to say apart from "it'll happen...just relax and don't think about it..." (You can all imagine how that makes me feel!!!) I've got one friend who went through a mc so has been amazing and really supportive but we started TTC at the same time and she's now 26 weeks so I'm feeling very jealous still! also worrying that I seem to be ovulating later each month.. Month of my BFP I ovulated CD10 with a 28 day cycle but now I'm not ovulating till about CD20 with a 29-30 day cycle... Should I be worried?

I'm finding tonight hard. The pains have started and every time they hit I am overcome with sadness. It feels like I can't breathe.

you poor thing chasing really feel for you, have you got painkillers or anything? I've found hot water bottles amazing through my mc and DH rubbing my back. Hope you've got someone with you xxx

So sorry you are having such a tough time Chasing. You have been through so much I think it is definitely worth getting some help. Hope you have someone supportive there with you tonight.

So sorry chasing, have you got any tablets?
Cocodamol helped a fair bit with my mc (although by the time I was allowed them I was well past the worst).

Another one having a tough time tonight. I should be prepping the nursery right now and all the rest. The fact I may still not be pregnant really brought me down. Stupid me for testing early. I'm so exhausted by it all. I can;t face work either, being polite, strong and making small talk, when all I want to do is hide under a duvet and wake up in labour or possibly even with a baby!...

Sorry for being so miserable. I am sending hugs all round and thinking of cake , chasing and anyone else in need of hugs x