TTC after MC - the best shit place to be!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Presumably you are testing regularly garlik? any chance of a new pregnancy?

neg hpts all the way I'm afraid

Chasing that is horrendous. How you didn't resort to physical violence I don't know! I'm pursueing a complaint at the moment about my treatment at a local hospital following MC - it's amazing how so many of these people seem to lack basic compassion! I truly believed my recovery time after my last MC was so much quicker due to the care and compassion I was shown at a different hospital. Sending you massive hugs

The care I got in my hospital - Birmingham Women's - from the nurses and the top consultant and the surgeon were superb.

The registrars in between? Shower of absolute shite. Dreadful. Unfortunately I made mistake of miscarrying in August about a week after the changeover. So doctors clearly on rotation and would much rather be doing cardiology or working on stabbing and gunshot wounds over at the QE across the road than dealing with "garden variety miscarriages" and believe me it showed.

I actually complained in end but doubt it went anywhere

Gosh ladies. Your experiences ring true with me too.

So sorry for what you've all had to deal with.

I had the same brummie, lots of people who wanted to deal with something more interesting.
Just left in a room to worry without any information or reassurance.
Then when I'd lost the biggest clots, a doctor telling me "well we don't know for sure it's a miscarriage" and that "you shouldn't have more than cocodamol as we don't want to hurt the baby".

Grr.

My care wasn't too awful, EPU lady was very sweet. She didn't expect me to MC when she did my early scan. So when I returned a week later to make sure the MC was complete she was really shocked and was genuinely sad for me.

The person that managed to make me cross during that episode was my sister funnily enough. She just wouldn't except it was happening and kept telling me I wasn't losing the baby. I think out of the two of us I was probably in a better position to make that call but she just wouldn't have it. I was so fucking exasperated with her.

I've been pretty lucky with my care in the UK. Nice GPs and hospital staff all the way. Not so much when I MC'd abroad, but that's another story...

I'm going to nip off for a few weeks. All these stories of MCs are causing me to dwell on mine a bit more than I want to at the moment, plus I'm in 2ww so trying not to obsess.

Good luck to all xx

I'm so sorry to hear about people getting such poor care and when things are less raw then please do make complaints, it's all very well being medically competent but that is not all there is to being a doctor, nurse etc.

I've been incredibly impressed with the care I've received at the John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford when I had my mmc and subsequent erpc in March, and also now with the death of our son 9 days ago. The incredible and inspiring staff in the neonatal intensive care unit will stay in my heart forever, as will the paramedics that got us to hospital and the great care and tenderness shown by all the midwives, anaesthetists, doctors, registrars etc. I really believe they are the benchmark for the care every woman and family in our position should receive. One day I will write to them to let them know that.

Our son's funeral is on Monday. I am dreading it but also have this very strange feeling of needing it to happen too. I've changed my mind several times from wanting just me and dh there to eventually choosing to invite all our family and friends. We have had such warmth and support shown to us that they may just help us get through the day. And selfishly it gets the seeing everyone for the first time all out of the way. Most days I feel numb, then I feel this terrible physical longing for him that is utterly awful, indescribable. I miss him so so much, he was with us for 8 days and every morning when I wake up I just can't believe he's gone and that we have to face it all again. Our dd who is nearly 3 needs us so that is our reason for getting out of bed.

I have a number of friends who are pregnant and who have due dates in Jan like mine should have been. I'm so scared about how I will feel when I see them and when they have their babies. I don't want to lose their friendships but it may just be too hard to see them for a while. I guess I just have to take a day at a time. That's what everyone keeps telling me. It's so bloody hard and so bloody sad.

These things used to happen to other people, didn't they? But we all find ourselves here at the shitty end of life at the moment. We just have to cling to each other and find support and kindness as best we can until one day I hope the days will feel easier for us all.

Sorry for the huge brain dump post x

cake I will be thinking of you on Monday, I hope the day goes as well as it can.

As for your friends, if they are true friends then they will understand that it might be too raw for you to see them and their babies until you've come to terms with your loss. I don't think I could face it either. xx

Cake- I have no words to say that could make you feel better. Will be thinking of you on Monday too and also agree with Metal that your friends should understand. I deffo couldn't face it. I am trying to put off seeing someone we know who is pregnant. The last time I saw her was before we found out we were expecting... Now she will be super pregnant and I'm just not ready to be polite and smiley around babies etc just yet (sounds awful but we really do need to be selfish at times and I believe this is one of those times!) .

X

Oh cake

You poor thing. I will be thinking of you Monday. . Your three year old will see you through this, I promise. Xxxxx

I will be thinking of you on Monday Cake, I can't imagine what you must be going through. I hope you have lots of support in rl.

I've had another scan and bloods. The scan has picked something up near my ovary. They've taken more bloods now which I'm waiting on results for. If they are falling they'll let me go home but I'm going to be in and out for bloods for weeks. If they are stagnant or rising they want to give me an injection, it's a chemotherapy drug that will try to shrink/dissolve the pregnancy/mass thing they've found, but means I can't get pregnant for 6 months. Or I have keyhole surgery and run high risk of losing my tube.

Oh gosh chasing so sorry to hear that. Wish I could give you a big hug :( xx

Thanks amy. I'm feeling so low

Has anyone been in this position? Can anyone advise me on the best option?

Sorry guys. I'm worried I've hijacked the thread. We should be talking about ttc not ongoing mc

Hi chasing,

I know exactly what you are talking about but I can't remember the name. We had a lady on here months ago who had had the injection and then waited the required time to start TTC again (three months I believe).

I've just googled and it's molar pregnancy I'm thinking of, is that what they have said or are they just talking about giving the Methotrexate injection as a precaution incase it's ectopic?

I've been here a long time and yes I have seen ladies post similar stories but even if the worst happened and they lost a tube, they went on and got pregnant again.

Are you still bleeding btw? If so is it period blood or is it watery/dark? Are you in any pain?

No pain (aside from period type stuff. .. though very sore from the internal scan with was painful) I bled Wednesday till now with dark brown blood but it's v light now. I'm praying my hcg is dropping.

I think they are being overly cautious incase it's eptopic (for which they are saying must be a new pregnancy which is also going to shit. .Yipeee!) But it is as they describe "a suspicious mass"

It does sound as though they are being very cautious. I really think everything rests on those blood results showing a decrease. If they don't then they will recommend that injection.

If they don't give it and the mass is a pregnancy in a tube then there is a chance you could end up having to have the tube removed.

When do you get your next results?

So sorry you're having such a shitty time chasing, I'm afraid I can't give any advice but keeping my fingers crossed your bloods are showing a fall in hcg.

My hcg has risen slightly :(

By how much chasing?

About 40. Either way they want to push forward with the injection/surgery.

If you were continuing to bleed like a period i would be inclined to feel more optimistic but it sounds as though the bleeding has slowed down/stopped and the injection does sound as though its the way forward unfortunately.

Have they told you when they want you to come in for it?