TTC after MC - the best shit place to be!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Hi amyy sorry that you find yourself here, I've found it a real comfort to share the experiences of the few people that I feel can actually understand what going through.

I fell pregnant at the beginning of June, a month after our wedding with a much wanted 2nd baby.
At 11 weeks, the day before my booking appointment with the midwife I noticed some blood when wiping. Id has a similar experience with my first pregnancy so didn't panic.
That was on the Saturday, by Sunday afternoon I stared to get worried, something just felt a bit off. The bleeding wasn't any worse, more just tinged. But I needed reassurance so we went to a&e. Here the EPU is by referral only and only open mon-fri 10-2.
During the 4 hour wait to be transferred up to the gyne unit to be checked out I began bleeding very heavily and I knew that the baby was gone.
Medical managent didn't work so ended up in surgery and a 2 day stay in hospital.

That was at the beginning of August, it's been a bit of a roller coaster since then. I think im getting better then something will start crying and I struggle to get back in control of emotions.

I'm 39 so was eager to start TRC straight away. With both of my pregnancies I got a BFP the first onto of trying so had hoped it'd be quick.
Still not happened so I'm taking.ore proactive approach and will be starting with ovulation teas this week. It helpse to feel that in control of something.

My advice to you at this difficult time would be not to try and hide from your emotions, no matter how irrational they seem at times, be kind to yourself and give yourself some time.

Chasingtherainbow (I don't know how to put names in bold yet, oops!) thank you so much for your reply and so sorry for your losses.

Totally feel your pain my emotions have been sooo messed up!

Is your blood test to check hcg levels? I have only found out about this through threads! My hospital is so rubbish they have me no advice on what to expect after leavin the hospital so had to go through the pain of passing more clots (tmi sorry!) and horrendous cramps with no pain relief. The only thing they told me was that they thought after 12 hours in hospital having looked through what had passed it all seemed to be there but didn't tell me what to do if more passed and how to find out everything had passed. After reading through sites like this I've found out about blood tests, scans and taking pg tests to check ( can't believe they never told me this!!! ) my plan is to wait 2 weeks and test, hopin for a BFN so we can start afresh after AF. I keep reading about ovulation kits and am so totally lost I don't think I understand them anywhere near enough to find them useful!

Gosh I have so many questions and thoughts I don't know whether I'm coming or going!

Anyway I hope you're ok and get your BFN when you're good and ready! I know what you mean about feeling bruised it's so unfair we have to go through shit like this xx

Hello northdownmummy,

So sorry to hear of your experience how awful for you :( I hope you're healing and get your BFP soon!

I was grieving so bad last week which was when I started looking at these kinds of sites and they were the only thing that brought some comfort. It helps to know I'm not alone. I don't know anyone in real life who has been through this and our good friends are 20w pregnant so it's been really hard especially as they had their scan on Friday, the day after my MC.

I'm glad I finally plucked up the courage to start talking on here.

Hi Amyy so sorry you find yourself here. It's a really shit place to find yourself. But we've all been through it and really can offer you support. These ladies are wonderful and there is always someone to chat to.

A bit about me, we started trying in April of this year, first time as it took me a long time to settle down with the right person.

I was so happy that we caught on the 2nd cycle - especially with my age as just turned 38. But sadly at 5 weeks I started bleeding. And it was a gush so I knew exactly what it was. Was devastated. Had 2 weeks off work to recover but like you I wanted to get back on.

My sister is an obs & gynae registrar and I'm very lucky that I get advice and support from her. She told me that docs prefer you to wait until you've had 1 period before trying again but this is just for dating purposes and to prevent any distress over dates and not knowing when you conceived. But if you do fall pregnant, then so be it. You aren't harming yourself.

But it's been absolutely drummed into me that you must keep doing home tests before trying again so you get a negative. That way you can be sure if you get a genuine positive it's a real one!!

So I then cracked on and got pregnant 2nd time round after my first miscarriage. But sadly it wasn't to be. I noticed some pink on wiping around 9 weeks. Got a bit more each day and then the pain started.
I had an ERPC and was in hospital for 2 days and off work for 2 weeks again.
Both of these were within 3.5 months and I'm just devastated.

I'm struggling if I'm honest with the "triggers"- had 3 AF's since that 2nd mc and each time it reminds me that I'm not pregnant. I'm scared of my age as well. I'm also worried about becoming obsessed too

But I'm surrounded by babies and people announcing pregnancies that I'm finding it so hard. My friend announced her 14 wk pregnancy last week and I was so upset. All I could think was "why did her baby survive and my two didn't"

Anyway I'm on cd 6 and am cracking open the ovulation sticks, cough medicine and evening primrose oil until ovulation to help my cm.

Work are also paying for me to have counselling as I'm struggling with my grief. I think the regular baby bombs don't help!!

So anyway there is my story. You are not alone in this and I hope we can help you get through it all

I'm just back off to hospital now (will update later) will catch up on recent posts when I can sit down properly but I just wanted to say- apologising and 'tmi' isn't necessary here xxx

Aww Brummmie what an awful time for you :( i so hope you get your BFP!

Tell me about it I keep asking why could my baby not have made it?? I work in a criminal defence solicitors and there's so many undeserving junkies popping babies out and having them taken off them and I wonder what I done wrong to lose a baby that would never be harmed and loved so so much! It's so bloody unfair.

Do you mind me asking how long it took you for a BFN? I know I'm being impatient but I just want to know for sure everything has passed and we can start trying. Although I say trying loosely as I can't get my head around ovulation tests! Would my first day of bleeding count as CD1? and if so when is usual to ov? I think we will just hope for the best!

I feel your pain, I suffer from depression and anxiety (long before baby) and it's hitting me hard again. So many 'what ifs' pulling me down.

Chasingtherainbow will be thinking of you! Hope you're ok.

Xx

Sure, my bfn first time was 7 days after, but I was only 5 weeks. The 2nd one was much longer!! I did tests on day 7, day 10, day 14 and day 16 and finally on day 16 I had a bfn.

Because I'd had an ERPC I knew I couldn't still be pregnant and I knew there was no tissue left over so it was just my hcg levels dropping. But it's hard to see a positive test when you know that you aren't pregnant.

But I almost felt quite peaceful when I saw the bfn because it meant I could start again. I've actually found the AF's afterwards much more upsetting because it's reminded me I'm no longer pregnant - but then within a few days I feel positive because it's a fresh start and I can try again and then the cycle starts all over again!!

I just have to stop reminding myself that on my first pregnancy I'd be finishing for maternity leave at Christmas and my second pregnancy I would've been 20 weeks exactly today and that is bloody hard.

I wonder will I ever get my sticky bean :-( x

So I'm in hospital. I'm in alot of pain and no one knows what's going on. On my third lot of bloods today and there's talk of yet another scan (!?) I'm tired and so sad. Why is this not over yet.

Brummie- 16 days is a long wait :(

Aww I sooo hope you do get your sticky bean! I found pictures of my positive tests when we first found out one phone yesterday... While I was waiting to check for a Bfn. Heartbreaking how one made us super happy but the bfp yesterday made me so sad :( I'm trying not to think of milestones but I would have been due the day before my birthday next year and I don't know how I will cope then. I just hope I gave a rainbow baby to help me through the day.

Chasingtherainbow- hope you're ok hun :( what's this scan for? I hope you get all sorted so you can move on from this.

Xx

So confused... Test yesterday showed a very definite pink line.. This is today's... Does that mean I'm very nearly at BFN or not? :S

Those cheapy strips have never worked for me. . I'd use a Frer if I were you- use it in a week from now and you should get a definite neg x

I actually have no idea what the scans for... they just took my bloods and left.

I probably sound really dumb but what is a Frer?

Oh gosh sounds like your hospital is just as crappy as mine! I don't think they realise what a difficult time this is for us and made all the more worse when they don't explain what is going on! X

Sorry my love, I mean a First Response test. X

Oh Chasing, I hope they figure it out quickly AND let you know... this really sucks x

Amyy, welcome to the best shit place to be following MC! This place has kept me sane- it didn't seem like anyone else could understand how I was feeling. My story...

DH and I started TTC when we got married in September last year, I have very irregular long cycles (usually 6-8 weeks or so) so was slightly worried about how long it would take. We fell in about December, and when I went for my 12 week scan I was told the sac was empty, the baby never grew. I opted for surgical management just before Valentine's Day and felt devastated and stupid that I'd felt so pregnant but nothing had come of it. Since then we've been trying, but with no success; I've been having acupuncture for the last 10 weeks, am taking chinese herbs and have lost weight, but this cycle am still waiting to ovulate at day 47. GP has agreed to doing progesterone tests, but I have to ovulate in order to take them. Feel so dispirited!

Welcome Amy so sorry for your loss. No stupid questions on this thread, I didn't know any of this stuff a few months ago.

Chasing sorry you are going through it yet again, really hope they get you sorted out soon.

Sorry you are feeling down Greysar.

Waves to Haribo, so glad you have found this thread hon though of course I wish you didn't need to be here. Please don't feel guilty about wanting to ttc again straight away, it's a totally natural reaction and I, and many others, felt and feel exactly the same. I think some if it is about trying to take control of something you have no control over, as well of course as desperately wanting that sticky bean.
Thanks for the congratulations, it just hasn't felt like the right time to tell the group, and I am absolutely petrified that it will go wrong again. Hope you are ok xxx

Oh thanks Chasing that makes sense now!! Lol will deffo give it a go next week.

Greysar, thanks so much for sharing your story and so sorry it's happened to you :( I hope you get your sticky bean! Ps totally get you about feeling pregnant, it was so difficult explaining to people my baby ha died 4 weeks before we found out considering every day I had awful morning sickness and everybody knew! I even told one of my friends who asked how my bump was comin along that it definitely looked more round... How stupid do I feel now!

Thank you Purplegiraffe x

Oh gosh just realised Purplegiraffe I take it you have your BFP? If that's the case huuuuge congratulations! Xx

Thanks Amy, it's very early days. Feel like all symptoms have left the building today so trying not to panic about it.

Chasing has there been any progress?

Oh ok hun well everything crossed for you, and hope all is well! Let us know how you feel tomorrow, it may well just be one of those days x

My bloods have come back and doubled!? I feel like I'm going insane in my own body.

Oh no. Do they have any idea why?

Waiting on the consultant. No idea what's going on :-(

So many new faces, which makes me feel really sad that so many go through this but i'm really glad you've all found the best shit place to be. It really is the only thing that's kept me sane!

Chasing So sorry you're going through all of this again :( If your bloods have doubled then that's very strange! Thinking of you lots and really hope this all moves forward soon so that either way you can move on

My story is..
Me 23, DH 28, TTC number 1 since September 2013. CP feb 2014 and MC September 2014. Currently on CD4 and armed with mega pack of ovulation sticks, preseed and soft cups (first month using preseed and softcups - i'll try anything!)

Hi all,
Sorry to see new faces :(
Sorry you've found yourself here Amyy :(

chasing I hope you get some answers soon.

My story -
Age: 24, Ttc #1 since December 2013. Found out I was pregnant in April. Had spotting and pain so was referred for a scan at 6 weeks, not much could be seen. Had blood tests and hcg nearly doubled.
Had a scan at 8 weeks and only a yolk sac to be seen. Started miscarrying at 8+3.
Had a natural mc which im grateful for. However I was also sent home with no pain relief or information.
Still ttc nearly 6 months later and no bfp.