Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Ha ha ha gaggia, well done!

I ordered some ICs the other day. My plan is to test from 15dpo and continue every day until they are all gone or AF arrives. After last time I am paranoid that I will mc without realising so I am more than happy to risk wasting up to 30 tests all with the same result! Does this make me crazy?

pisghetti I loved your end of thread rambling. Brilliant!

nonisk none of us ever contraband every single damn day, obviously!

honey I'm glad I'm in good company with the ICs, I had that plan lastm month but AF turned up on day 2 so I didn't even make a dent in my packet of 6! FX for a nice shiny BFP for you ASAP.

Haha I just realised why I may have been, subconsciously, attracted to this particularly shiny and friendly thread - DH and I actually broke a bed a few years back. In our early days, of course. Gosh if only we js'd like that these days, I'd probably have been upduffed months ago! Alas DCs are their own most effective contraceptive, what with the exhaustion and 3-in-a-bed-ship...

Yay gaggia time to celebrate only one post! Woo !!

Ah three-in-a-bed...top-notch contraceptive is that, really stretches your creativity in the JS stakes

fresh i think you'll find most of us subscribe to some kind of contraband, although we aren't sticking thermometers up our bums or anything, we are hardcoreSecret stick wee-ers.

I'm now in a massive quandry over whether we continue to TTC, forget about getting married for now and figure something out after getting up the duff, or stop ttc, plan wedding for next year, and then start again.

I really don't know what to do. I don't feel like time is on my side either, and with 6 months of Jsing in vain under my belt, I'm not really inclined to stop. We don't want a big wedding at all, and are/would strongly consider running off and doing it in Mexico or similar, but even that, with all the house moving costs, would take us at least 6 -12 months to save for. Mr Tee isn't that worried either way, but I think we need to commit to one or the other, but don't want to sound like an ovary-shrivel-panic mentalist.

Just needed to get off my chest, sorry girls! I am far happier talking about we vibes. There was a distinct lack of of them in the last fred. Bring back the buzzy things!

tee you really made me giggle at the denial of sticking thermometers up bums, are you sure?? ;)

zyla there are no thermometers in my bum. Honest!

I read a grot-fiction book a while ago that referred to the starlet's bum as her 'Dark secret rose' which makes me snort laughing just typing it.

There are no Thermometers in my Dark Secret Rose, to be clear. :D

Ahem. Please discuss.

And this one.

Wank! You can't see the line at all on them pics. I'll do another later or in the morning. Anyway BFfuckinPeeeeeeeee!

I think I can see a line in the top one!!!!!!!

Ooh! Those look like very liney lines! One's fuzzy, and one's tiny, but still looks very liney!

Gaggia! I SEE it!!! OMFG!!!

Second pic looks like the piss sticks cool album cover shot!

I SEE IT!!!!! AHHH!!!

And just in time for your lack of double posts...it's a sign! :D

Love the piss stick photo album cover!

Ah I am so excited, no idea why!

Kato it's his latest album "Pisstory". Well I don't know weather to laugh or cry or believe it or not it's an ic stick (15mlu) and I'm not due AF til Friday. Should I hang on til then to test again or fire a celebratory party popper?

Can't see them on my phone! Gah!

Congrats!!

High fives to the 'hardly shagged' this cycle! I did it TWICE!

Whyyyyyyyy could I not wait til Friday! Testing is very unlike me. Maybe I just knew?

I see it on the selfie and the super cool album shot (nice one Kato)!

Congrats Gaggia !! You can pull the thermometer outta your bum now.

ahh so we aren't weekend pissers now gaggia :D you must have known! How many DPO are you? Stats! Comeon girl!

Track #1 The awesome penis
Track #2 Phlegm Lament

Bonus track - Fuck, she's PG!!

Oh my effing god gaggia have you just become number one of this Fred?! Yessssss! Congratulations chicky!

Loved the end if last Fred madness!

Also love that chat of eating jizz and breaking a bed and pandas? is attracting newbies - you weirdos! ;) you'll fit right in gals.

Welcome noniks!!

Why are we sticking thermometers up our bums? Did I miss some new JSIng tradition?

Just did my first 'I'm pregnant and need a wee' toilet dash. Had to beg lady to let me use loo as she was cleaning them, madly miming a preggers belly and crossed legs to indicate desperate. Barcelona has never known such glamour, surely?

I'll add my shagging stats then. Why not.
DTD CD3,5,6,7,9,10,12,18,20. Which isn't much for us really. Had varying levels of pant about since CD20 and ate toast for lunch. For the past week DD has claimed I have a baby in my tummy and its called peaches and she is a sister. She may well have been right!

Thanks everyone for being beautiful viroids!

Oh I iced on CD11 I think so I'm 12dpo. jelly I so want you to poas now!

not much!!! I'm doing something wrong then! :P That's amazing lol!