Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

DP and I have just started watching battlestar, the new series :) Cool names for cats though. Mine are Dante (Red Mainecoon) and Beatrice/Bea (Tortie Ragdoll).

Welcome Melody :)

They are good cats names. We have Pippin, sadly no longer with her sister Merry. I really really want a Irish wolfhound called Gandalf :)

Welcome Melody - Pee again in the morning, a line is a line in here!

Name: Pisghetti
Age: 34
DC: Kevin the teenager and Peach the foetus

Lil I don't know what to say except I think it's fair enough to feel fed up after all this time. Fx things start speeding up now you're in the system.

Welcome mel blue dye tests are pure shite! Pink dye ones are so much better .

Thanks lil that makes sense although AF is like clockwork but I'm happy to have a longer cycle. My cycles are 25 days so it feels like I'm always 'due on' or 'on'.

Welcome mel blue dye tests are pure shite! Pink dye ones are so much better .

Thanks lil that makes sense although AF is like clockwork but I'm happy to have a longer cycle. My cycles are 25 days so it feels like I'm always 'due on' or 'on'.

Hello lovely viroids

Name: Wiggly
Age: 35
TTC since April 2014
DCs: DS aged 2

WTF cycle update: I have no idea what is going on! A week ago, even though it was only 2.5 weeks after mmc I felt pregnant: weird taste, needing to wee all the time, strange womby feelings! A bit odd tho as I'd have to have some kind of new super zygote. Since then feeling totally normal in every way. DH and I have DTD every other night for 2 weeks and will continue for until either AF comes or bfp comes. Being the WTF cycle tho that could be any time! Maybe the strange symptoms last week were actually ovulation. Gave myself a good talking to in the car on the way home from work this evening along the lines of: you might be pregnant and have no symptoms, you might not be pregnant and still haven't ovulated or you might not be pregnant and AF is on her way STOP WASTING MENTAL ENERGY THINKING ABOUT IT. But it didn't work!

Lots of love and luck to you all for BFPs on this Fred xxx

My boobs are sore as anything today. I don't have big boobs, b-cup at best. But they are really hurting when I move :( my DP made me do a test this morning because I had an MRI scan, BFN of course but we only DTD 10 days ago so I was hardly expecting a positive anyway. Add to the fact I've had no other symptoms and don't have periods at all, it's highly unlikely to be a BFP.

But sore boobs??? FU god! Stop making them hurt!

Morning viroids. Guess what? A new costa is opening this week over the road from me. Im so excited I might move in!

Morning viroids. Guess what? A new costa is opening this week over the road from me. Im so excited I might move in!

Morning viroids!

I've realised I forgot to seek permission to lurk. If it's ok with everyone I'd like to keep lurking. I know how frigging frustrating it it is ttc for month after bloody month with no success and seemingly no reason why. This has been my home for so long and I would've gone mad without you all. Id like to return the favour and cheer everyone on.

gaggia ditto what lil said - could be late icing. You might find af pushes back. If it does come on time and so short lp try taking b6 as that helped my cycle.

melody howdy! A line is a line is a line. Echoing lil try testing with full moon unicorn and see if any luck with frer. Fx for bfp!

One of my cats is called chewbacca - try being the owner of that cat when they call out the name in the vets! Embarrassing...

chat I had a rabbit called gandalf once!

My cat was called Jesus. And I forgot to ask lurking permission!

wiggly have you tested?

We are in Barcelona. Arrived at lovely hotel to find they'd given us twin room. Cue much indignant annoyance from me (you book a double, you expect a double) and we were moved. Now I'm kind of regretting it coz he keeps trying to jump me and I have the sorest boobs ever! They feel bruised.

Also was being quite smug about no morning sickness then went to get on a tour bus, at which point I felt like I was about to hurl. Then I fell asleep on the tour bus and woke up with my mouth open catching flies

Wow La, you really have taken the glamour to Barcelona!

I am so impatient for the fertile window! Bring it on mother nature, i am getting upduffed this month!

Ooh, bit late but marking my place!

Name:Tee
Age: 31
TTC #1 since March (wow... 6 months )
Beasts- x3 rescued pedigree cats (little chef, tiny & smaug)
One very allergic Fiancé.

Before (who has, at least temporarily, changed my mind )
34
TTC since April 14, mc May 14
One DS
One cat
Currently 'on a break' from TTC but lurking if you'll have me.

Back again lol
Name:christiesmam
Age:28
Ttc: since day before yesterday (turns out reason I pounced on hubby was ovulation day according to newly downloaded app)
One dd aged one who is currently in her playpen showing me how clever she is by taking her pj top off lol

Busy day of tidying, having time with dd and then off to work for a small shift xxx

Morning viroids (including all lurkers)

La Barcelona sounds so much more glam for having you there! I'd quite like the whole cast of Middle Earth and surroundings as my furry friends, but I can see myself letting DD have her way with naming animals and getting the whole of Nick Jr instead!

Very light WTF-AF here. Goodness knows what's going on. Return me to normal, mother nature, I want to get shagging!

Morning :)

Fx it returns to normal Chat! I wish I had decided not to start TTC before getting my periods back, it's driving me mad. (TMI) I have really sore boobs, have done for 3 days now, but no pants action (no CM of any particular description).

Think I'll test this weekend, and then if BFN just ignore it until I think I'm icing again!

What's everyone's Tuesday look like?

Morning viroids, newbie on this Fred, hope it's ok for an old bird to join all you fresh-faced lassies? I need a new approach and a pick me up and you gals sound lovely!

freahstart4us
40
Ttc since April 2014
1 DD almost 3 and DSS 16
Ginger and white feline friend called Bella

Have had a BFN this morning and am gutted as I really hoped we'd hit it this month. Am going to rub lasciviously against all those currently upduffed for luck this month if that's ok?

la kato permission to lurk granted. Plus I would miss you if you left.

la kato permission to lurk granted. Plus I would miss you if you left.

Welcome Fresh, less of the fresh faced here, DD not one for sleeping!

Jelly, it's not like we ever really stopped after the mc, but I'd be bloody surprised if this month's paltry performance yielded anything other than a bfn.

Today mostly will consist of trying to persuade the Belgian phone companies to give me a mobile contract with no proof of my address or permission to live here...red tape heaven this place!

Welcome Fresh :)

I went out with a Belgian for a while chat it put me off the place! ;)

(And can I still lurk pleeeeease?)