Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

wiggle

wiggle

that's my fill the fred dance

Wah I work too much, we're on a new thread already? I'm still catching up from at least 5 pages back! Hugs to you la

jelly what a shitty decision. Surely surely you wouldn't not pass probation due to need for mat leave?? Isn't that illegal? It's tough, but as a few of the others have said, I put off making babies till dh and I were in a position in our jobs where I thought it would be easier (the hoops a junior doc has to jumpo through go on for years) with the idea that I would get to this stage and everything would be perfect... Ahem. Still no babies.
And don't loose hope of lost AF! She will come back (honest!) It took me nearly a year after coming off BC. Only to then find I have huge cysts on one of my ovaries

ian mcshane wants you to fill up the thread

he's getting impatient...

lol!!

I just checked back and I joined in thread 14 back in April 2013!!! I'm practically a veteran!!!!

lol at Ian Mcshane! I remember him!!!!

Oh my gosh, that second one is scary!

And the 2 years probation is how long until you can go on independant patrol, plus you're a "trainee police officer" so they call it probation, I don't know about the rules regarding it, ie Mat leave.

I don't want to put off TTC, because I know it's not as easy as looking at a trouser snake and getting preggers (as I used to think) so maybe I'm just overthinking it. I want a family but I also want to be happy in my job (which I currently am not)!

I'm sure once he calms down we can have a grown up chat about it lol!

Reminds me of Paul Hollywood's pervert stare when he's tasting your buns. shudder

We need some pictures of cats!

These are my kittens :) My ragdoll and maine coon!

Here's one. She's not impressed with me as I won't let her stick her claws in me.

ahh cute. and lol honey

I only have pics of dn on my phone. can't really share those. plus I have no idea how to put a pic in a post!

Lil, love the new thread title!

It does make us sound rather kinky though!

thanks. I'll do full roll call when a few more people have put theirs in

are you trying to say we aren't? I left out the buzzing frieds damn it!!

Here they are exploring the garden.

Hahahaha fair point!

agreed, the arse raining reference makes us sound proper filth!!

in fact when I read it back again it sounds as if we simultaneously have jizz in our eyes whilst it's raining out of our arses!!