Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Work? What's that?

DP and I managed to have a bit of a disagreement this morning. As you know, I am looking a career change.

The basic details are I currently work in the financial sector, and am looking to join the police. There's no guarantee I will get in, I have my interview and assessment day on 21st. But I would love for it to happen.

I've told DP that if I do get the job, we will probably have to stop trying for 2 years whilst I am on probation. He got upset because he wants a child ASAP, and thinks if I am in a career I enjoy I will be less likely to want a baby. I just said it would be a short gap and we are young (24) so we can afford to wait, but now he's not talking to me lol!

We are still TTC atm, but as I don't think I can conceive right now it's a bit moot.

Men are so frustrating at times!

:( sorry you've fallen out jelly. as you said you're only 24, there's so much time for babies ahead of you and if it's something you really want to do it's probably better to at least go for it now while you can. Fx!

Nothing like getting your 12 week scan letter to kick you in the teeth just as you were starting to feel a bit more human. Had to remind myself it's not the scan dept's fault when I phoned them say I'll not be going, as all I wanted to do was shout down the phone at her. The hospital had told me they would cancel all the letters and appointments but they must not have been quick enough. Fucking shitebags fuck fuck wank arse bollocks shite bastard crap. Phew...that feels better.

Oh La I'm so sorry. Well done for not shouting. I would have burst in to tears personally.

Sorry hello, that sounds sucky. I am sure he'll talk to you again soon. This is a decision you'll need to make together. Its not going to be easy, but neither is doing a job you hate.

Gah! jelli not hello!

No worries la!

jelli is it just because of coming off contraceptives you don't think you can conceive yet? If so you have hunners of time - I can barely remember being 24 it's so long ago but I can guarantee at that point I was thinking about my career above all else. If you have to take a break you'll still be young. He may just need some time to get used to the idea it may be a couple more years.

Whenever Tee talks about her other half, this guy is all I can think of....the thought of him running around with a digi shouting 'are you sure, fool?' has made my day 100% brighter.

bother that cracked me up!

Oh La - that really sucks...same happened to me after MC - they said they'd cancel everything but the letter turned up anyway...luckily MrB intercepted and made the phone call, bless him - he only told me weeks later.
Fucktards.

Yay - made La laugh - my work here is done!

:( sorry you're upset la

And yeah Calli it's because of my depo injections, still no AF since coming off them in Feb this year.

I understand his frustrations, we want a family young, we are both earning good money so finances aren't (much of) an issue, but it would be silly to carry on trying whilst on probation surely?

after today/yesterdays posts I think there has to be some poo references in the new fred...shitty kitties, poo particles & I think there was a shitsticks too that made me chuckle! And I second a Lovejoy nod, my mum had such a dirty crush on him.

La - what a smack in the chops.

jelly give him a chance to cool his jets - if this is something you want to do he has to respect that.

When do people find they start with PMT including a tantrum at some runner beans that would not go through the slicer. threw runner beans across kitchen & DH speedily exited the house I had full on rage last night but not due AF until next Thurs I'm normally pretty level headed, but I really went off on one

jelli as a woman who focussed on nothing but her career and becoming financially stable from the age if 13 to 27 I regret waiting to start a family. probably not what you want to hear but that's my experience. I had this big life plan. qualified by 23 - check. engaged by 24 - check. married by 26 - check. kids by 28....I'm approaching 30 now. sometimes life gives you lemons!

la I will get my thinking cap on for an inspired thread title that will bring us both pre crimbo bfps!

I personally would favour putting off kids til you've done this career step. Nothing to stop you going for police then ttc in a year or two once you've been through training.

BUT I agree with lil if I had choice again I wouldn't wait as long as I have. It adds panic to the pressure. I went to uni for six years, then took another six to sort out career because of having to build up experience. Didn't meet dh til 2008, he took fucking AGES to propose so we got married in 2013 and here I am still ttc 16 months on from starting and time is less on my side as I'm older. I am glad in a way though that we waited as we were in a financial mess before and have finally sorted that out. I think if we'd done it before I would have been very anxious about our finances.

It is so unfair on us women that we have to think about career versus kids but unfortunately until they give men the ability to push a baby out of their cocks we're stuck with it.

Make us proud lil!

can one of the grads send me the link for current grads thread. think the one on here is out of date now.

If I had my way I'd have 5 kids by now. We haven't used any contraception since I was about 28, now 33, if I could offer any advice jelly I'd say if you decide to have a break from ttc perhaps carefully consider the types of contraception you go for as some (as you know) can cause mayhem!!

It's here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2186417-Just-Shagging-12th-Thread-for-graduated-viroids?

It's ok, i found the grads

new thread is here but can we please fill this one up first. For my OCD!

lol cross posted, thanks la

2 years seems a long time for probation jelly. and they can't get rid of you for being pregnant surely. Why do you have to wait 2 years?

We've got 55 posts to go to fill this up. C'mon viroids - sod work, this is vitally important in order to not set off Lil's OCD!

Fill up da thread

Fill up da thread

Bum di ba ba ba bada, fill up da thread

yeah I should be studying but you lot distracted me! So now I'm distracting you!!

la you do make me chuckle!

We need some randomness in the next 49 posts ready for thread 30!! OMG i can't believe how many of these threads I've been on!