Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Sorry bother crossed post, send 'im round 'ere, I'm in the perfect mood to deal with 'im (adopts sinister gravelly voice)!

Before* I has early scan - they won't do it til 5-7 weeks. If it sets your mind at rest then go for it. But you could also get blood hcg in meantime from dr?

bother I'm going to be a boring wildlife biologist and suggest releasing mouse not far from where your house. Releasing them somewhere unfamiliar makes it hard for them to find food and shelter and they will be vulnerable to predation.

I'm hoping infertility clinic will chat to me about luteal phase defect and put my mind at rest that I can have successfully pg.

tink bad kitties! Oh dear. I can totally picture it. I washed my bedclothes 2 days ago only to find a poo paw print on pillow this morning. And it definitely wasn't Mr La!
Cats are definitely challenging sometimes! Tell Mr Tink he might want to step carefully around af time, he perhaps needs his sensitivity chip replaced

Have some and a hot bath

tee enjoy telling Mr Tee tonight x

Sorry about typos. Fat fingers today

Bother and Tink you sound like you both need a stiff drink!

Before, why only private? Round our (old) neck of the woods they would offer at ~8w for anyone with previous mc, and you can pretty much self refer to EPAU.

My Maine Coon kitten was running around with a lump of poo in his mouth today!!! Not eating it, just playing with it!!

Actually I think that's same here too before - it's worth checking out.

Definitely second the stiff drink idea, you guys sound like you're having rubbish days :(

Incidentally, I booked them in for the snip today, is this revenge? They certainly look extremely pleased with themselves!

before I'm all for going with your gut on such things, do whatever feels right. I'm one of those eternally difficult patients who hates being touched. Therefore would avoid examinations at all costs. However, I can't imagine being upduffed and not getting seen for 8 weeks ( it's like that round here too) I'd just be so impatient and nervous!

tee I hope you're starting to come to terms with your lovely news, here's to a great 9 months xxx

jelly thanks for the hugs, is now a good time to say I'm prob covered in cat shit? Lol hope your day is picking up? X

la do amazon do sensitivity chips or should I book Mr tink in at the vets too and see what they can do for him

Aw Tink - that stinks! You were my TWOT buddy and the fecking witch got us both good and proper this month. Other people are bastards generally - and period pains suck...and do you know what else sucks? Your cats! Seriously - do they not know what you're going through? Could they not have stopped shitting and come and helped me with my mouse problem?

Not sure your DH has adequately understood the level of 'attitude' that's acceptable in a TTC woman with AF and period pains. There is officially no limit - I've looked it up. He should count his lucky stars he's 5 hours away TBH.

So, doctor's appointment (via visit to allotments with mouse in a tupperware - both now disposed of) was very positive - blood test Thursday, she's going to refer us, with option of 3 hospitals (I can look online to see who has the shortest waiting list). Just need to tell Mr B about jizzing in a cup...might need wine assistance for that one...

Tee - hope telling MrT is brilliant! I'm sure however it happens, he'll be delighted.

x

Great news bother I'm glad they're helping you. Me La was surprisingly chipper about prospect of jizzing in cup. Strange man

La - sorry, just spotted your note on Operation Pilgrims Choice - I released him at some allotments around the corner in the end - figured there would be plenty of food and the potential of shelter in sheds if he's used to being a house mouse. Miss him a bit TBH
x

Mr tink is happy to jizz anywhere, except in the appropriate place whilst I'm icing. Last time I held the cup and talked dirty, honestly the funniest thing ever. We both cried laughing! Glad they're sorting you out bother. We have decided to try until xmas ( not that I'm racing you la) and then talk about next steps. As I don't want ivf it's a funny one but maybe there'll be something else they can suggest. Now can someone please tell me to get off mn and disinfect the kitchen please? X

Congrats Tee - told MrTee yet?

Glad you're feeling a bit better today La - bless your workmates for the flowers Don't think it was MrPopz jizzing on the carpet Not to my knowledge anyway... he has done it in a variety of other stoopid places though... including his own eye

Before - symptoms def come and go. I didn't have anything constant til about 7-8 weeks. I still poas-d about 7 times though!! You can get early scans for about 40-50 quid now I think. I wouldn't go before 8 weeks though, personally. Hugs x

Famous cat is currently trying to eat the flowers. I don't think they'll last long.

Jizz in the eye - hilarious!

I'm ok - swings and roundabouts. It's easier now the hcg levels are confirmed as falling. No more hope.

Tink - do you temp? Are you able to tell when you're icing? Don't lose heart. It will happen

Tink I'm sorry, I cross posted with you and didn't see your rant. That sounds hideous, I hope you're OK. Hot water bottle (from pan on stove) and hot bath (from several kettles) if needs be.

You're probably right, I could probably self refer to EPU at "local" hospital. I don't think it's too unreasonable to ask for early scan following a mc. Will give them a call and see what they say.

Tee, I did a digi with DS after a strong frer, for Mr Before's benefit. I didn't want his first reaction to be "are you sure?"

Yeah just started - one full cycle of temping that has a slow curve up after icing. Got opk lines but not strong ones before temp started to go up so I think I ov'd. I always doubt it when I don't fall pg but tbh my cycle this time was pretty perfect on paper. I've invested in a cb digital opk kit for this new cycle to see if I can get a better lh reading. I think my lh levels are super low as I only ever get 2 days of faint lines each cycle. But then my temp went up so who knows....I won't lose heart, have been super excited about having a family forever so if it turns out adoption is the way forward then that's great too. It's just that we want to let my body try if you see what I mean

tink opks can be hit or miss. Temping plus ewcm will really help. What day are you icing and how long is cycle?
Sorry for questions but I only got bfp after a year working out cycle and correcting things that needed correcting. Do you see ewcm?

Yes, I get ewcm but not much. Have to firk about for it! take epo from about cd 7 - 16. This cycle was 30 days and ov'd on CD15, cycles vary from iro 28 - 34 days normally but about twice a year I'm 2 weeks or so late (always bfn). Am on agnus castus CD1 to ovulation and also sanatogen ttc vits. Any advice gratefully received . Also, get ov cramps every few cycles too. Never sure if pain is cysts, refused laparoscopy for endo as they said there wasn't much they could do anyway. On pelvic exam gynae said he doubted I had endo but I'm not sure???

I had both internal and external scans that they couldn't see endo on Tink. I knew I had it though as I had already had a lap. They are generally very very effective you know. I wonder why they said it wouldn't do much. I'm fact my surgeon was properly surprised when I said the pain was no better. Unfortunately all the other treatments are contraceptives! Sorry to hear about your shitty day.

I feel like shit still. No more vom but stomach cramps (deffo the digestive system, not my uterus, I can feel the difference) and my legs ache like buggery. Been asleep for most of day. Its more Pooey than tinks cats.

Not sure honey, it was a while ago and I've fortunately never had big problems not being able to dtd so maybe that has something to do with it (rings a bell), might get new referral in the new year. Sorry you feel shitty as my kittys! I hope it's just a 24 hr thing that clears up soon, I had a few days of running to the loo a couple of weeks ago and apparently it's doing the rounds. I hope you have someone to bring you soup.
I must stop thread hogging now and get up, feeling so much better, don't know where I vented before this thread dh came back with feminax and is making fish pie. yum

Hahaha bless him. You're not thread hogging, its why we're all here!

I have a temperature! I am normally around 36 but I'm 37.4 now! Dh has put a wet flannel on my head and I'm watching ncis in bed. Three cheers for husbands eh?

Yep, I'm back. Got told off for interfering in the kitchen and zita west eat yourself pregnant book has arrived! Don't know what I'd do without him! Although who puts carrots in fish pie

Congratulations tee

The universe is still falling out of my area

I cannot wait for Sunday telly this week it's the best of ever.

Hahaha poor Mr tink!