Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Oh Christ, there are two lines on the test.

I should have waited till I got home, I did it in the toilet at work and I can't stop shaking.

Hold the bus!! tee that's brilliant news!!

Now deeps breaths & no one will know...

Eee! Congrats tee!

Haaa! Knew it tee! Congratulations!!

Congrats Tee - that's amazing news! A TBFP!
x

Oh wow congrats tee :) that's amazing news!!

noniks it was a pre interview day to prepare you for the actual day and it went well. Was useful. Actual interview is in October.

Thank you girls.... I am still completely shocked, and now have to go into a four hour client meeting...... I am reeling!
Just as I was about to shelve it all for another year, and I didn't think we did it at any right times, and ARGH! but YAY!

Waaaahhhh tee!!!!!! Fabulous news, let's hope that meeting goes quickly so you can celebrate the ass outta this!

Yay tee! Congratulations! Bless you!

My stomach is still cramping. I've been asleep on the sofa for a while. And still it rumbles on. Very annoying.

OMFG tee that is amazing news!!! Congratulations!!!

Sore boobs, there you go. :) [popping non-alcoholic champagne for you]

Sorry - EXPLOSIVE boobs!!! LOL

Wow tee congratulations!!! That's cheered me right up; we were about due a bit more good news on this Fred.

La, glad you've still got your chin firmly up, good luck with the bloods.

Honey, sorry you feel so rotten.

Jelly gx your cycles sort themselves out soon. I'd happily send you some of my af visit: I've got more than enough going on for two at the mo. Not sure what your history is with how long you've been waiting for af etc (if it's not long it'll right itself on its own accord I'm sure) but I know how little fun it is when you have messed up cycles. Walking and water are two very obvious top tips I can pass on...,

Come on you twotters!!

Yeah!!! I knew it! Congratulations :)

Now who's going to be my POAS buddy??!

Hi all,

Sorry for silence - been wallowing a bit and feeling crappy. Have decided to see the doc about getting tested. It's been a year since MC, I'm 40, and although there's no reason to think there's any issue apart from my age, I don't want to wait any longer to find out. Also need to feel like I'm doing something (apart from JSing - obvs) to manage the fear I'm getting right now. No time like the present - got an appointment this PM!

Meantime, adding extra glitter to my disco pants, extending my cape and getting ready for the biggest shagathon of all times.

Welcome MrsB! I'm also a Mrs B (it's what Mr B calls me!)- and my sister just got married and also became a Mrs B...this could get confusing!

So pleased to see a BFP on the Fred - congrats Teeeeeeee!

Onwards and upwards.

x

Ah sorry to hear you're feeling down Bother, I hope the doctor's helpful this afternoon. Glad to hear you're getting your glitter on!

Trying to work up some motivation to write an essay I really should have already written but mning instead. Motivational hints and tips anyone? Gah.

Motivation? Not my area I'm afraid - am working form home today and have so far been for a run, cleaned the house, done 2 loads of washing, caught up on viroid news, bought and read Heat magazine and made and eaten spaghetti bolognese. A productive morning, but not sure the boss would agree...!

bother I'm a big fan of using whatever help or advice is available. Your gp should be able to help you as you've been trying for so long. I went to mine and asked for help a while back and I have an appointment I never cancelled for the infertility clinic, which I will now be going to. Your GP can discuss options with you and hopefully you can get some answers and some help. They can run tests to check everything's ok. For me it was useful just having the scan and bloods to check I was ovulating and everything looked ok. Mr La had to jizz in a cup, not on the carpet (you missed that thread, it was a corker!). Whose dp was it who jizzed on the carpet again? Was it yours popz?

So today I'm doing a bit better. I did cry when some flowers arrived from my work (bless them) with a little card saying they were thinking of me. I'm codeined to the eyeballs which is wonderfully floaty and light. Incidentally me and Mr La were eyeing up the gas machine when we were in the gynae ward. He was wondering whether they'd noticed if we stole some. We obviously didn't but it gave us a little light relief to pretend.

Mr La and me are doing ok - he's gone to work now for the night so I'm watching a frenzy of x factor, strictly and downton, with chocolate buttons and a can of juice. I'm going to go to work tomorrow unless something drastically changes. Had the blood hcg results back and my levels are falling so we're in 'official' mc now. Just the wtf cycle to go and I'll be back in the game.

Motivation - hmm...nope, I have none just now. I'm going to sit on my arse for the rest of today.

Incidentally am I a complete sourpuss? I can't work out why Chelsea Clinton having a baby is world news. The story is really irritating me. I'm more interested that Holly Willoughbooby had hers, I couldn't give a monkeys about Chelsea Clinton.

Then again I am slightly in love with Holly Willoughbooby.

haha bother I have been working from home today as well, so far I have been to the hospital, hoovered up, put together the kittens new scratching post, walked the kittens in the garden, gone shopping with the bestie and played with my godson (7 months)...my boss would hate me lol!

Also sorry your feeling down :(

I bought some EPO today, so each morning I am taking Folic Acid, Vitamin D, EPO, Seven Sea's calcium bone supplements and glucosamine sulphate. I have a pill box and I'm 24 lol!

I'm a bit down today so need some funny news please.

Jellypie - you want funny news? How's about this...following the success of 'Operation Pilgrims Choice' I currently have a mouse under a tupperware, weighted down with bottles of slimline tonic water on my kitchen floor. Much squeaking - not all from the mouse - and now he's giving me the evils while I decide what to do next. Current plan is to somehow get the lid on and release him somewhere nice (pub garden?) on my way to docs appointment.

La - thanks for the advice...I shall gladly take your spot at the infertility clinic and will pass on the jizzing advice to Mr B! Look after yourself - enjoy the chocolate and don't rush back to work too soon!

xxx

Permission to rant please? So, crippled by goddawful period pains trying to leave a meeting and make it back to my car at Sainsbury 's I found myself doubled over a bin, completely unable to stand and sweating, alot. Spent a good half hour over a five minute walk and not one of the fuckers passing by asked if I was ok. So I got in the car and drove home, already not in the best of moods as you can imagine and what do you think could be waiting for me at home??????
Shit, piles of it. Shit that both of my 20 week old darling kitty cats have trodden in and have lovingly redecorated the entire downstairs with.
Also, we have no hot water.
Also, dh is 5 hours away and thinks I maybe need to see the gp about my "attitude".
There are no words. That is all. Rant over.

Nearly finished work, still trying to think how I'm going to tell Mr Tee. I know he's had a rubbish day too, I think i might just end up bursting into tears. If my FRER was quite strong, do you think a digi will work? He likes technical things...
God If i thought I felt weird last night, this afternoon's shock/adrenaline has made me feel even more peculiar.

awww Tink :( hugs Your day sounds terrible!

Bother that mouse things was hilarious. Congrats that you caught him though!

Whoop whoop! Congrats Tee, you beauty!!

Bother it sounds like quite the day you're having :) :) :)

Am thinking of having an early scan. My surgery says I can only have one as a private patient. Can I really be bothered to pay? We'll see...