TTC 10 Months Plus, Supporting each other & Staying Positive :) This thread will be the BFP one!

[victoria401]

This is a thread for ladies who have been ttc longer than 10 months who have started the ball rolling with tests and treatments. We are all here to support each other though these darker days to the baby shaped light at the end of the tunnel!

second night mixing tonight landy and I have to say it was fine. I did it differently based on a YouTube video I found which helped. I'd recommend looking a few for inspiration!

Vic how are you feeling? how's your dh taken the news? I know UV said before he can get quite down so I hope he's OK.

Ladies, not been around much, but 17 months of trying I got my BFP!

poco just saw your brill news on the soya thread - wonderful! So so pleased for you!

Vic sorry to hear youve had such a shite day and hope your pet (and DH!) behave themselves now!

I'm still madly dieting, hoping to be down 10lbs by the time our appt rolls round in Feb...have tried the soya isoflavones this month and eagerly awaiting any sign of cm..! Also spent up and joined fertility friend which I'm loving! I'm pretty analytical and so I totally appreciate the data entry, graphs and interpretation! Makes me feel slightly more in control...it also told me we'd only had ONE good chance at conceiving since we'd started all the way back in Aug 13 which might be why we're not parents yet...

Feeling really down tonight :-( Can't talk to dh about it, he doesn't/can't understand.

2% of 75 million sperm is still 1,500,000 good sperm. Why isn't that enough to get me preg? Sounds like an awful lot of good ones to me....

Sat here with pre af symptoms not being able to console myself with a drink. Sorry to put a downer on the meant to be thinking positive thread :-(

3% of 88m isn't enough here Vic so o know how you feel. have clinic said they will send am appt to discuss ivf? how do I feel about doing ivf? I know you weren't keen before.

When the doc rang with the results she was already running late for an open evening. She gave us 3 options 1- plough ahead with the iui next week even though they like 4%+ morph, she didn't see the harm in going for it coz we weren't losing any money. 2- wait a few months to see if it improves again (it was 5% in Aug which was deemed suitable) and the decrease was due to his illness. 3- lose our 3 iui tries and go straight for icsi. If we chose 3 we would need to book an appointment with her to discuss things. I couldn't ask her much on the phone as she was doing this open eve. She gave me her personal extension and said to leave her a message and she would listen to it after the open eve at 8pm. So basically we had less than 2 hours to decide our fate whilst dashing back and forth to the vets with our pet rat and trying to cancel an appointment with a double glazing salesman who was already on his way to our house to give us a quote when I found our pet bleeding out!

As for my feelings on ivf.... I'm not keen on it. I wanted to do the 3x iui and see how I felt after that if they didn't work. I think with ivf (especially when you get one lousy go on the nhs) it gives you too much expectation. You actually create mini lives (ie embryos!) that are you and hubby, that wouldn't have been and might not survive. I just don't think I can cope with that different kind of grief. Iui is different. Its like normal conception without the sex and everything timed right.

Its just my opinion and my messed up head though. I don't have anything against it, I think its amazing, and I really hope it works for you lil and landy.

Vic I get what you mean about the embryos. I do feel conflicted about there being some left after we have the family we want and what will happen to them. but I tell myself its no different really to all the failed implantations and MCs that happen, its just that my version of this will happen all in one go in a lab rather than over months/years in my body.

so have you decided to go ahead with the iui or wait to see if results improve?

the other thing I'd say with ivf Vic is that until you do it, you don't know how many embryos you'll have - and you may not have any unused embryo's. just another slant on it. I imagine we'd probably donate for research. don't think I'd be able to donate to another couple, too weird. (can you tell I've been googling my options)

We have decided to wait a few months and get a re test. I'd rather milk the nhs for all the tries I can get if I can. Dh has agreed to really try with keeping himself healthy, lets hope it lasts. If things are still bad in a few months we will obviously re think the situation. Hopefully you'll be long gone from this group when that time comes huh? ;-) x

Just popping in to say hello, hope all you ladies who've started/are about to start treatment are getting on well!

Not much to report here, I'm about halfway through my 2ww after not charting or taking opks this month. We've now been officially classed as unexplained infertility and told our only options are to carry on ttc or pay for IVF. Not sure yet whether we'll go down that route as we could only afford 1 go, and I don't know how I'd cope if it failed...

metal that sucks, but I wouldn't delay ivf too long if your going to do it because of fertility declining with age.

Vic I'm not going anywhere until you're ready to come with me

I know lil, the success rates are already pretty low for my liking! I think we'll have to make a decision over the next 6 months or so.

I'll be making my decision in a few months time too metal. Who'd have thought it would come to this when we started ttc eh? So many others just popping them out whenever they want or even by accident.

Thanks lil

I know vic, it's just not fair is it?!

I feel sometimes that maybe my body is trying to tell me something by first having the mc and now not being able to get pregnant again... maybe it's just not meant to be.

i believe everything happens for a reason. if I'd got pg straight away I'd be working in a place I hate and would probably never have gone self employed. instead I'm working less hours, from home and in 9months have taken on enough work to replace over half my salary. I'm kinda grateful we didn't get pg straight away, just wish it hadn't come tonivf!

Ah bittersweet on here tonight girls. I really feel for you Vic you've had a real hard slog of it lately. I think you're doing the right thing to get DH's sample to improve and give it a better try.

We've just found out that we've got the worst in debt CCG in the country and as a result they're now allowing 1 round of IVF instead of 3...a major difference. Will be academic if I can't shift any weight though.

I'm also a solid believer in 'everything happens for a reason' and I hear those voices loud and clear telling me if it can't happen naturally then perhaps it shouldn't be happening...but my yearning for a family is stronger and I will do anything to have a child of our own. I think my line may be adoption. I haven't thought that far as yet though.

Be kind to yourselves girls xxx

Oh no Laura did they say you could have 3 then take it away from you?

Feeling even more miserable tonight. Cramps started and heavy spotting. Prob get woken up at stupid o clock in agony and I'll have to try and dull it with drugs so I can function in work. I could have been calling the clinic tomorrow as my cd1 to get my scan and drugs. And yes I'm going to dwell on it and keep making myself more miserable and nothing can stop me. Of course dh is acting like its any old normal day. Not a care in the world. I feel rather numb, almost emotionless,or too much overwhelming emotion, does that feel the same? Imagine how bad I would be if it all fails if I feel this way now! Actually probably not all that different. I've felt like this since the very first diagnosis of male factor last May. Every setback brings me back to this level. But I will creep back up to normality soon.

Sorry, just needed to write that down. Probably makes no sense but I'm not reading back to check!

Vic I really think you should consider some counseling with all you've been through and all you still have to deal with.

Laura your only going to need one go my dear, them reducing it from 3 is to make sure you put your all into go 1 because it working is meant to be!

I have not had to deal with any more than you guys. I'll be fine.

Not so sure about that vic, you've had lost referrals and misdiagnosis to deal with, not to mention doctors and nurses that seem to have an inability to empathise/explain things propertly/give you any time. I haven't had any of that. I've had it pretty plain sailing to be honest, has just taken far longer than i would've liked.

I'm so sorry you are struggling with this Victoria - it must have been really frustrating to think you had a plan for it to then be taken away.

I had a minor meltdown yesterday all started off by DH asking why I refer to his friends as his friends and not "our friends". I was taking about a school friend of his and they live 300 miles away. They are his friend! Anyway I think in a way it actually helped having a good cry for about an hour, it obviously developed into ivf cry! Feel much better today tho and even slept better last night!

Has anyone else noticed their sleep has really suffered during this journey? I can't remember the last time i did not wake up at least once in the night! It's horrible. I'm sure it's stress.

Laura - where I live you only get one go on nhs. That sucks that you thought you'd get 3. I think having only 1 go is part of the reason there is no wait list. To be honest i would rather only get 1 free go and not wait than have to wait for 3.

Lil - hope stimming is going well. Have you had scans? I get my baseline on Thursday, am so nervous for the antral follicle count given mine was so rubbish last time.

Having a shit day. Af started this morning and nearly passed out in work from the pain. I knew it was going to be a nasty one. Lasted a whole 36 mins in work before I had to bow out. Spent the day on the sofa watching a box set. I've been eating constantly and biting all the skin off my fingers. Called the clinic and actually spoke to a nice nurse (!). My Dr only works 2 days a week. Dh booked in for a re test in 2 months time. 2 more bloody months to wait after all this time! And I'll be 35 and drawing my fertility pension by the time we can start again. Urgh. Just had a massive blubbing session. Life is a pile of poo.

Vic AF is really putting you through the ringer this month. just adds insult to injury doesn't it. hope the sofa day has helped.

landy I had scan last Wednesday to confirm everything was clear/dormant and stimms since that. had 2nd scan this morning and have 5follicles on each ovary (so 10 in total) ranging from 5mm to 11mm. uterine lining isn't as thick as they'd like so I've been given oestrogen tablets today to take 3times a day. fx it helps lining catch up.

Hi there, hope you don't mind if I join you Im 35, ttc#1 and on cycle 13 this month. Think it's going to be our last month of ttc naturally before I bring up ivf again with dh. We have had some tests done privately. I have a relatively low AMH of 7.2 and DH has low sperm motility. We haven't had even a sniff of a pregnancy just nothing happening at all. The wait for nhs in this area is around 14-16 months which is too long for us so thinking of going private even though we can't really afford it.

The clinic have recommended half ivf and half icsi. I can't believe it's come to this really but starting to accept it a little. Over the past 12 months I have been playing out that amazing moment in my head of surprising dh and telling him im pregnant but looks like it will be a bit different for us.

Anyway just wanted to say hi and hopefully I can hang about with you lovely ladies and pick up some hints and tips and share our ivf journey

Hi Lucie I've seen your name around on the threads. Sorry to hear you have to go through this crap too but welcome to our thread :-) I'm not usually this miserable, honest, I've had a tough few days!