TTC 10 Months Plus, Supporting each other & Staying Positive :) This thread will be the BFP one!

[victoria401]

This is a thread for ladies who have been ttc longer than 10 months who have started the ball rolling with tests and treatments. We are all here to support each other though these darker days to the baby shaped light at the end of the tunnel!

landy amazing how it suddenly happens when the months of tests are over. bcp is giving me rage, poor dh! on it until 27/12 then start down regging 28/12. not sure when I start stimms. around 14/1 I think. I'm on long protocol. starting acupuncture tomorrow with dh. I'll be able to give you all the gory details one step in advance!

metal wow that's a lot! I hope he's the best! at least its progress knowing what you are dealing with. fx you'll have a bfp straight after!

Vic try and keep busy and the week will fly.

I really need to read up on IVF and the different ways they do it. Lil -you are on bcp longer than I'm going to be. I will start bcp on about 8 Jan (if cycle behaves). Then take that for about 21 days (according to the doctor). Then the injections starts. Think I'm on long protocol. It's so confusing. I had a whole bunch of random questions for the doctor generally about infertility etc but wasn't prepared to get told to start IVF! Lil - are you nhs? How many cycles do you get?

I'm NHS funded one cycle only in my area (no dcs). the bcp can be taken for varying lengths of time to suit the clinic so they can fit people in evenly. I'm long protocol so down regging on buserelin for 2weeks then I start stimming. I already have my scan dates in January and know what week egg collection and embryo transfer will be. I'm starting acupuncture tomorrow as there is some ebidence doing it 4weeks before, day if ec et and in 2ww can improve chances (although no conclusive proof iy hssnt seemed to have any detrimental effects)and am trying to swap carbs for protein (40% carbs per day 25%protein) as studies suggests this helps with egg quality. my situation Is different to yours as my amh is 40 and all tests fine on me, dh has "lazy mutant sperm" as we affectionately call it!
from what I've read acupuncture might be worth a shot for you if you have low amh but depends how you feel about it and whether you can afford it. mine is £50initial appt then £40per session. we figured its cheaper than 2nd go at ivf!

Wow ivf sounds so complicated! Best of luck to both of you.

metal I really hope you can get your op paid for. That sounds awfully expensive. Is it something you have to be 'out' for or awake? Do they go 'up' to do it or have to cut u open?

Trying to think of what I need to ask the doc on Thursday. Should really write stuff down. Need to ask about dh's low morphology certainly! I'm still not sure why they said we are suitable for iui you know. We don't think it will work. No hope at all.

vic it has to be done under GA, which is why it's so expensive. As far as I know they go up through the cervix so no need to be cut open at least, should be able to go home the same day. I've sent Bupa a referral from my GP so now just waiting for their decision on whether they'll pay or not.

Good luck with your appointment on Thursday!

Can you not get the operation on nhs metal? Does bupa class it as fertility and therefore not cover you? It's so annoying bupa doesn't cover fertility. I get it not paying for ivf but I think it should cover investigations.

Lil - thanks for the info. I'm going to research acupuncture, it's really not me soon those sorts of things but I'm going to try and be open minded. I am going to look at the carb / protein thing. I've got the annoying added pressure of having to keep my bmi over 19 (19.1 currently) so need to be careful changing diet too much. I'm really tall which is why my bmi is low. I have cakes everyday so will have to replace them with sushi or something! When is your egg collection - mid jan?

Victoria - i went to the doctor with a list of questions written in my special book. I was crying in the appointment and the lovely doctor at the end was like "ask all your questions" and I actually had forgotten about them. DH is then telling me "ask your 7 questions from the book". I would actually have forgotten I had questions so it's really good to write them down.

landy I got the GP to simply refer me for lighter periods as a result of the erpc, which technically Bupa should cover. But they might call my bluff and say it's for fertility reasons, in which case as you say they don't pay for anything. I will ask the NHS consultant at my appointment on Monday if they have anyone who specialises in Asherman's, but from what I've read on various forums there are very few specialists in this area (and most of them are private), and if you get the adhesions cut away by an inexperienced surgeon it could actually make things worse. Still fuming though that I might have to pay £5k for something that basically resulted from NHS treatment!

Lil - sorry an acupuncture question for you. How often are you going to do it? Weekly from now on? Then make sure you have it on EC and ET day? Thanks!

landy funny you should ask actually! dh and I have been discussing as we were both going to do it but at appt yesterday woman said we should do twice a week. that would be £160pw for both of us. we've decided dh isn't going to carry on but I will, albeit once a week plus an extra for ec/et week. I've read it is recommended to have at least 4 sessions prior to start if ivf cycle and 5 sessions specifically targeted throughout the cycle with 2 on day of et! (Zita west book). I have 5 weeks before cycle starts so will have had 6 prior to start, then 4 more before ec based on once a week. I'll carry on in tww but will stop after that regardless of bfp/bfn outcome.

Vic I found this about iui and morphology. scroll to the last paragraph.

metal hope bupa cough up for you. it is frustrating it was NHS that caused it but they won't put it right! bastards!

Thanks for the link lil. I was actually looking up scientific papers earlier too. I'm actually quite concerned about the tiny % chance of this working. I'm 35 in April, I'm very borderline. Dh's morph was 5% on his 2nd test but only 2% on the first. I'm just thinking about what Lindsay said the other day about iui. I was all happy to go through with it and our Dr said it was a 20% chance, that study said 7%. Load of crap.

I completely get why you are cautious and I definitely think you should discuss it with clinic at the appt. hopefully with that link and what you've found you gave enough to back up your concerns for them to take them seriously. I'd reiterate your age to them too. it does seem mad to waste 6minths on iui if chances are 7% if ivf could give you 30-40% chance, and again I'd be looking at whether his morph would suggest icsi (think that one I sent mentioned it at top in relation to what some clinics policies are but you probably need to get something more concrete)
if u want any help let me know. I'm well and truly in limbo here so researching stuff for you guys is keeping me sane!

Hi ladies.

Have just popped in to say hi and let you know i've been watching from afar, and update you on the bad news. We had our private fertility appt yesterday and the Dr told us that because of me barely ever ovulating and DH's abnormally low sperm count (1 million) that pretty much the only way we'll ever have children is via IVF. Needless to say I'm devastated and it's been a rough day. I have been diagnosed with PCOS and DH may have some white blood cell deficiency for which he has to be tested further (NHS having lost his second S.A which I'd specifically asked to get to the appt yest). Dr has immediately put me on metformin to suppress insulin levels and we'll still have our NHS appt in Feb to see what DH's results are then.

The thorn in the side is that the NHS won't pay for our IVF attempts until we've been TTC for 3 years - so roll on August 2016...by which time I'll be 35 and DH will be 36.

Anyway, sorry for the 'me, me, me' post but I needed to vent.

It's been lovely to see the couple of recent BFPs and I can only hope there's some sort of divine intervention. Wishing lucky dust on us all x

Hi Laura. Sorry to hear you've had all that bad news. It must be so hard to take in. I know some areas do have a 3 year wait, ours is 2 years. I know how you feel about turning 35 at treatment too. The NHS is a pile of poo sometimes too huh? How can they lose results and cock up so much? They don't seem to care about fertility and the fact that time matters. Though I do get the fact that its massively costly and the NHS is in debt etc. I'm torn with what to think half the time. If I wasn't infertile I'd probably be comparing ivf to boob jobs or something.

Sorry I'm not helping, had wine, over analysing things. Not cheerful myself to pass on any. Hugs though x x

Must be desperate now, drinking cold mulled wine from a bottle left over from last Xmas! Dh on his computer games with his headphones on. I'm lonely and scared of the future.

Read another paper earlier about the stupid 5% morph cut off. Wish I never read anything today to upset myself and is there even any point trying naturally?!

oh laura the system is so shit! Aug 16 is fucking ages away! I think if I were in your shoes I'd be moving house, and town. are you on s border of pcts perhaps? might be worth looking into the PCT boundaries and policies to find one that would treat you. I guess other than that the only option is to go private? I hope whatever happens you get treatment sooner than that!

Vic I know you know this but drinking isn't going to help. have you spoken to clinic about counselling for you and dh?

Yeah we were offered counselling when we, I, turned down treatment the first time. Don't know what that would do though as they can't discuss treatment or medical issues.

they can discuss your feelings about it coming to needing treatment, about feeling concerned its not the right treatment, about your relationship and making sure you are on the same page. is he on games because he's feeling down too or does he just not know your upset so is doing what's normal?

Vic thank you for moping with me and Lil thank you for your suggestion re borders - I suspect we'd try private first but defo worth looking into it. We're lucky that we get 3 tries in my PCT so keen not to end up worse off! Had good news tonight after I posted this from a friend in a similar position who it turns out is pg. Hoping for my own good news story soon.

Vic I am feeling pretty lonely here too. DH appears unaffected by his own results, and I've told him it makes me feel like he doesn't give a crap. Apparently he does. He doesn't see the point in it getting him down. I'm afraid I can't do the same.

This journey is about as stressful and unhappy as it can be - and I feel like it should be the opposite.

Laura he prob does care and is hiding it. My dh hides all his feelings. I know he feels responsible and he knows how obsessed and down I get all the time. I'm not sure if men totally get infertility like we do, correct me if I'm.wrong.

I know just over the border from us you get 3 ivf but need to be ttc 3 yrs. Dh is from over that border and we tried to get jobs and live there 6 yrs back but it didn't work out. So we are here in our 1 ivf zone.

Also lil I know dh wouldn't do counselling. Have you had any?

I wish I could tell you it gets better when you get towards the treatment starting but I feel pretty crap right now too. I wish we could all just wake up tomorrow with our children who are already loved so much. its just not fair at all. got to see 2yo dneph and 3mo dniece tomorrow too. hard day ahead. at least we have each other

no Vic we haven't. I am incredibly lucky that dh and I are pretty much on the same page about everything, from treatment to acupuncture to my mood swings now I'm back on the pill. I have had counselling for other things in the past though and whilst I was reluctant every time I went, I found it incredibly helpful. if you don't fancy it though acupuncture us very relaxing and may help you feel a but more balanced.

how are you guys this morning? head OK Vic?

Lil - thanks for the info on acupuncture. I've contacted someone locally and she says once a week from Now as meant to have it 3 months prior to start. Its £50 each week, which over the time is quite an outlay. This may sound weird but I'm not sure I want to be putting everything in this first go as the disappointment of it not working would be even greater. We've already agreed we will go private for further rounds if this doesn't work.

Vic - sorry you are feeling so low. I was getting annoyed with DH prior to our appointment this week. When the doctor said you need to do IVF to get pregnant I feel like he finally got it. I think Lil suggesting you should look at counselling may be a good idea.

Laura - crazy annoying that you have to wait so long for nhs. Guess that is what happens when the area provides 3 rounds on the nhs. Will you look at private? We get one IVF or 3 Iui in my area on Nhs.