Anyone got pregnant with no.1 very quickly bit struggling with no.2?

[tattyteddy]

Hello,

Was just wondering whether anybody has had a similar experience?

When trying for first child got pregnant the first month, however that ended in MC. Luckily I got pregnant again with DD after first month of trying again.

DD is now three, we would have started TTC sooner but I went back I Uni and I'm due to finish in November.

We have been trying for 5 months and no luck, worried that I've left it too late as I'm now 37.

trees* agree that if you dtd the day before ovulation you're in with a very good chance, so don't be too disheartened. It's better for the sperm to already be up there in the tubes, waiting for the egg when it pops!

ginger sorry about the job, I know exactly how you feel. I've given up looking for a new job for the moment as the constant rejection on top of my inability to get pregnant was just too much to bear. As for the soy, I've taken 100mg on CD4,5&6 and will take 150mg today and tomorrow (CD7&8). So far I don't think I've noticed any side effects [touch wood].

Any news on AF bobsy and loves?

Poor DD got snubbed in the playground this morning by an older girl, she went over to talk to her and got ignored, which nearly resulted in tears on DD's part. However, in an ironic twist that was totally lost on her, one of DD's classmates then came over to say hello and she did exactly the same thing to her! Kids eh...

erm no news here no AF, and not POAS yet either Im not sure I've got the guts for it yet and not sure when I should try again - it's the normal CB ones not a FR'er and no I didn't use FMU. Shall I try tomo morning do you think I will be gutted if it's a BFN though and then have to come into work.

I agree looking for a job right now would be too much I feel like I'm constantly on edge all the time with TTC.

Aww your poor DD metal playground politics are hard !

loves, you are now more than a week late?

Yes CD33 today usually a 26/ 27 day cycle

I don't know how you've managed not to test again loves, I would have peed on at least a dozen sticks by now!!

I have to respectfully concur with Metalhead's statement here. How on earth are you not peeing on sticks every 5 minutes

Oh my goodness loves, your self control is amazing! I'm tempted to pee on a stick and I'm only about 6dpo! Will be keeping my fingers crossed for you in the morning.

Loves you are v controlled! I'm with metal...would have poas at least a dozen times by now!! Try a FMU test maybe??

DH at cricket tonight and asked if he had to come home early to DTD. Said no...just can't face a failed attempt again so gonna right this month off and start my soy next month!

I POAS this morning and its another BFN this was with FMU so I'm not pregnant DH thinks it's stress he could be right, now I'm stressed about what is going on with my cycle!! Oh well hopefully AF will show up soon and I can crack on with the soy and the CBFM. I'm ok just a bit generally sad which is better then the dramatic shouting and crying so I will take it :D

It's not self-control it's just denial !!

Sorry loves. Late, but still BFN is massively annoying.

At the same time, a friend of mine, who has a DS a day older than mine, just got her BFP. First try. She's 40, and got pregnant immediately with her first as well. So all doctors saying that late 30s is simply too old can sod off.

Ah sorry loves, I had my fingers crossed for you then. We all seem to have had a cycle like that, just what you don't need when already faced with long term ttc I feel for you, I really hope AF shows up soon so you can move onto the next cycle. Glad you aren't too upset about it, you seem such a positive person, I hope your vibes can rub off on us!

Well I was up until midnight last night reading up on adoption. I was thinking it is something I should start pursuing earlier rather than later as it can take years as well, but in the cold light of day I'm wondering if I really have the strength of mind for it......waffling, sorry, anyone else considering adoption if all else fails? Seems awful to think of it as a last resort but I just cannot imagine DD being an only child, and only parenting one child as I/she gets older.

Fab news for your friend Hazle, do you feel ok about it though?

Oh Trees bless your DH! That's so sweet! I think it's good to just admit defeat some months and give ourselves a break.

metal your DDs playground antics did give me a chuckle! Poor little thing being snubbed though!

Bobsy how are you?

Any word from tatty?

I'm sorry loves, I was really hopeful for you. Glad you're feeling ok-ish about it though. I ov'd two weeks later than usual last cycle, and I'm putting that down to getting so desperate about the whole ttc thing. (Same thing happened last year as well just before I got pregnant.) I hope AF shows up soon so you can move on.

hazle you're right, that just goes to show that it's not always as simple as saying "you're too old", and from what I've read it's only after 40 that fertility really starts to decline more rapidly (though again, not for everyone).

ginger I wish I was the sort of person who could adopt, I watched a few programmes about it decently and all those poor kids just wanting a bit of love broke my heart! But I know that I couldn't do it, I think I would feel really rejected if they turned round and wanted to find their birth parents when they're older (which sounds horribly selfish I know, but that's exactly why I wouldn't be suitable).

ginger I'm of course very happy for her, but sure it's still a little difficult. Especially as we were pregnant together with our first ones - I got my BFP a couple of weeks earlier in fact.

We would try IVF first, but have considered adoption as well, probably international one. It probably sounds totally crazy and extremely selfish, but over where I live (France), people don't simply give up their children for adoption just because of financial reasons, or because they are single mothers or similar. Meaning that the child would have either severe physical problems, or issues due to neglect, abuse etc. I've read the MN adoption boards, and those people are amazing. I am not sure I am that amazing, and I feel it would not be fair to DS.

But there are countries where healthy babies are abandoned because of financial reasons, or because they are not the desired gender. I know - no guarantee that those babies will not have any issues, but it's like hoping (when pregnant) that your child is healthy. Would of course deal with anything that comes along. Does that sound totally horrible?

Not at all Hazle, I think I would have to agree with you. I'm not sure I have the strength of mind, or emotional strength, or am even a selfless enough person to go for adoption where there could be issues with neglect/abuse etc. I would also feel awful about what effect it may have on DD and her childhood, that is one of the reasons in fact DH is dead against it. Maybe in time we might consider other countries like you say, but I would also rather pursue fertility treatment first. I'm probably getting a bit ahead of myself!!

It doesn't sound horrible hazle I completely agree. My step-mum worked with children with emotional and behavioural difficulties and saw a lot of FAS, we spoke about it recently and I couldn't do it either and I think it's better to be honest about my own capabilities. We would also try IVF first, I spoke to DH about it a few weeks ago and it helped he agrees with me that we would do whatever it takes for another baby of our own, and then after that we would have to see.

ginger it helps to hear that you have all had messed up cycles too it puts my mind at ease about it being some sort of serious health issue. I do consider myself a positive person but I'm struggling right now, I want to go home and bake cookies get into bed and watch re-runs of ER and not face anyone. but no such luck my pg friend wants me to come round this weekend and we are having lunch with neighbours I have never met tomo. :(

My DH said we were getting ahead of ourselves when we were talking about it too but for me it helped me relax a little bit knowing there was a plan somewhere in the future which we both agreed on.

Hi everyone just thought I'd have a couple of days off mumsnet been feeling really down in the dumps, I know we're all going through this but this has been the worst week I've felt angry and upset every day, I've cried more times than I can remember even alone at work. Not good! Why oh why does the spotting have to start at 9dpo. I POAS this morning (at 12dpo) as still nothing proper but BFN and then when I wiped there was pink watery blood so I've taken today as first day of cycle although no proper heavy bleed up till now, just more bits of watery brown or watery pink & the odd tiny spot of orange blood - sorry if all this is TMI.

I also decided to give up (yet again) but I through opk's in the bin and stopped taking all the vitamins and maca I've been taking. I've taken it all off my dressing table and put in the cupboard. I just can't quite accept not having another baby yet. I really have been a mess this week.

Gingerbread Think I will try RLT then and noted about not taking after ov, I've got to nip to the bank tomorrow so can go H&B while I'm there - maybe I should have got the loyalty card they offered me when I bought the Maca! I'm the same I feel like I'm under a dark cloud all the time. I am worried about giving up then regretting it but I'm feeling more desperate because of my age and yes the added stress of getting OH to DTD makes it harder. I need to have a serious word with him when the time is right. We've had several huge rows this week and a lot of it is because of how bad I've been feeling but if he could just show me some sympathy and understanding it could all be so much better but instead he say's it's all I ever go on about! I've got to find a new tactic with him. I have actually thought of adoption too because I hate the thought of DD growing up being an only one. The only thing is OH is not keen on the idea.

Trees You could still be in with a good chance, I will find the Soy dose details and copy them on this thread. Me and my OH are in a similar, I'm not enjoying it and he struggles to perform sometimes, it is stressful when you know you have to do it!

Metal how are you feeling? Bless you're DD, they're funny aren't they, but you don't want to see them upset. My DD is so funny she talks to all the children in her class and seems to know everyone's names, I wouldn't be able to remember all the names.

loves so sorry about BFN, I really thought you'd be the next one for a BFP, I'm sorry you're struggling, it is hard to take, hope you're feeling better soon.

Hazle Totally understand where you're coming from about adopting. I can understand it being difficult about your friend, some people who were pg at same time as me with their first are now pg with third, the one's that had their first 2 years after me are already pg with their second. It is good that she has managed to get pg easily at 40 it gives me hope.

A very long post there trying to catch up with everyone.

The other thing is my boobs feel more sore today, they seem to stop hurting yesterday morning then got a bit sorer in the afternoon, then feel more sore as today has gone on. Usually stop being so sore on day of proper AF, but I'm wondering if different bra's make the feel more or less sore.

Trees This is what I copied from another thread so don't know where it originally came from: ? ? ?

Soya Isoflavones are derived from soya beans. They have been dubbed “the natural Clomid,”

As they work in pretty much an identical manner.

Just like Clomid; Soya Isoflavones work by tricking your body into thinking its low on oestrogen. Your body then kick starts production of FSH (Follicle-stimulating hormone) followed by LH (Luteinizing hormone) Which are both necessary to release Healthy Eggs during ovulation.

FSH is released at the start of the menstrual cycle; it stimulates the growth of an immature egg into a fully matured egg. When the egg has matured your body then releases a surge of LH. LH is the hormone that tells the ovary to release the egg.

WHEN?

You take Soy Isoflavones, like Clomid, on either CD 1-5 , 2-6, 3-7 , 4-8 or 5-9.

If you take soy Isoflavones during the later time bracket, for example CD5-9, you shall strengthen the egg that has already started growing producing a healthier egg. The earlier in your cycle you take It, the higher your chance of releasing multiple eggs but these eggs will not be as mature as the eggs grown from taking Soya later.

A lot of women will choose the middle cycle (3 -7) allowing time for a strong and healthy egg to develop without erasing the chance of a second egg being developed and released.

1-5 = you produce more eggs, and ovulate sooner, with a stronger ovulation.

2-6 = you produce more eggs that usual, but not as many as taking it 1-5. Eggs may be more mature, and ovulation will be slightly more strong than 1-5.

3-7 = The best of both worlds, a few more eggs, and all eggs will be strong & mature, and ovulation will be alot stronger than 1-5.

4-8 = No more eggs will be produced, but the ones already there, will be matured alot more than usual, and ovulation will be very strong. Ovulation may only be brought forward a teeny bit.

5-9 = You'll have one very mature strong egg, from the ones you already produced on your own. Ovulation will either happen when it usually does, or a few days later, but your egg will be of great quality.

DOSE?

The dose is really down to you but you should always use the lowest amount that works for you.

With Clomid the starting dose is 100mg. Soya Isoflavones are said to be half the strength of Clomid, so it makes sense for the starting dose to be 100mg.

The trouble with 100mg of soya is that the capsules tend to come as 40mg. So you have a choice of starting at 80mg.

Some women change the dose on different days. So they may start at 120mg for the first 3 days then give an extra boost for the last 2 days with 160mg.

As I have said though, use the lowest dose possible for yourself. If you ovulate using 120mg/day stick to that for a few cycles. GIVE IT A CHANCE. It is said that it takes 3months to get the full benefits of what you are taking. NEVER EXCEED 200mg/day.

OTHER BENEFITS?

The following potential health benefits are attributed to Isoflavones:

Reduce heart disease risk

Protect against prostate problems

improve bone health

Reduce cancer risk

SIDE EFFECTS?

As with any medication, taking Soya Isoflavones may cause side effects such as:

Nausea

Headaches

Dizziness

Hot flushes

Night sweats

Cramping

Diarrhoea

Lack of fertile cm

Thrush

Obviously the higher the dose you take the higher your chance of experiencing side effects.

DO NOT TAKE SOYA ISOFLAVONES WITHOUT CONSULTING A DOCTOR IF YOU HAVE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:

Breast cancer, hepatic disease, prostate cancer, kidney disease, taking hormone treatments, thyroid disease, and allergies to soy, peanuts or other legumes.

Soy Isoflavones should not be taken while breastfeeding or pregnant.

Soy Isoflavones may interact with the following medications; androstenedione, antibiotics, clomiphene, DHEA, contraceptives and other female hormones, finasteride, raloxifene, red clover, tamoxifen, testosterone and other male hormones, thyroid hormones, and toremifene.

NOTE: Just like Clomid, Soya Isoflavones may not help some women at all!

Although research carried out on FF has shown that 77% of women taking Soya Isoflavones on the stated days at the stated doses, got there BFP on their first cycle taking them!

so sorry to hear you're feeling down bobsy, we all understand though. Hey, maybe you will be one of those "I just relaxed and got pregnant!" stories?

Thanks Hazle you never know.

I'm now after some advice ladies, please. I'm having an odd cycle and would like advice on what I should class as first proper day of AF so I know when to start taking the Soy Isoflavones. (TMI alert too!)

So I started spotting on Tuesday at 9dpo and yesterday I decided to class as first day of this cycle as I had some pink when I wiped on Friday morning but nothing on my pad and hardly anything all day just bits of pale brown or pale yellow. This morning there was less then yesterday morning just watery pale pink. My Fertility App says first day of cycle is first proper bleed but I don't know what that is, I'm not sure if I still class what's going on at the moment as spotting because it just seems to be when I wipe and not much if anything on a pad! It's mainly pale brown/yellow or pale watery pink.

I hope what I have said has made sense I wouldn't be as bothered but it's just I really need to know when to take the Soy.

Thanks.

I've understood proper bleed as one with actual blood, when you need to use pads, not just pink when you wipe. I'd say that you are still only spotting.

Bobsy I agree with Hazel. I get 2/3 days of what you describe before full AF (need tampon) and always class it as spotting.

bobsy I'm not trying to get your hopes up or anything, but could it be implantation..? It's definitely not AF (yet) if it's just a bit of pink/brown when you wipe, you have to have full flow of red blood for it to count as CD1. I know you got a BFN yesterday, but if you still haven't got a proper bleed in a couple of days time I would take another test.

We flew out to Germany this morning where we're staying with my parents, and DD has already been busy playing with grandpa in the garden since we arrived. I'm looking forward to relaxing for a week, drinking lots of wine and stuffing my face! Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Metal where in Germany are you? I'm about 10 min from the border

Over here, Dh is away til tomorrow and I realised that it's the first time I've ever been alone with DS overnight - he's almost 16 months. Which is not so unusual, but I have been away from him several times myself, mostly on business trips, but a girls' weekend as well. I would guess it's more common the other way around.