Anyone got pregnant with no.1 very quickly bit struggling with no.2?

[tattyteddy]

Hello,

Was just wondering whether anybody has had a similar experience?

When trying for first child got pregnant the first month, however that ended in MC. Luckily I got pregnant again with DD after first month of trying again.

DD is now three, we would have started TTC sooner but I went back I Uni and I'm due to finish in November.

We have been trying for 5 months and no luck, worried that I've left it too late as I'm now 37.

Ah and what do the medical experts! say when you ask them about it? The lighter periods are definitely a bit weird if it's not usual surely? Can they test for it?

My GP initially tried to explain the change in periods with hormone imbalance, but clearly that's not the case as my tests were all fine. They should be able to diagnose it with an HSG or hycosy so I'm hoping that's what they'll offer me at the fertility clinic.

That's the sort of thing I'm worried about too metal, although the consultant at my appointment said it's actually more likely scarring could block the tubes. Assuming I'm not pregnant this month (which I bloody should be after dtd every day for a week around ov!), I can book my hsg the day I come on and hopefully get that question answered.

meant to add -I also get really light periods, but stayed getting them a bit before being pregnant with ds, so hopefully that's not a symptom to worry about. By light I mean 2 days proper period then pretty much nothing.

started, not stayed. silly phone!

That's interesting about your periods. Mine are very short and light now. Last couple of months I had spotting for a day, v light flow, medium flow, light flow, then spotting. So basically 3 period days, 1 of which was a proper day! Before DS I was a 6 full flow kinda girl. Was worried I was pre menopausal so encouraging to hear I'm not the only one!

That's interesting pootle, I think if I have it then it's likely to be just a few adhesions blocking tubes or preventing implantation rather than the whole uterus being completely glued together as I'm still getting periods. But I've gone from having two really heavy days where I'd need super tampons plus sanitary towels and soak through a towel at night, followed by 2-3 days medium flow, to just one day of medium flow and 2-3 days of basically just needing one towel or a panty liner all day. It just doesn't feel right, especially coupled with the fact that this is by far the longest it's taken us to conceive despite perfectly timed shagging every month!

I'm so stressed out about it all I'm afraid to say I've fallen off the wagon with my no alcohol on a weekday rule, which probably isn't helping... but then again, it's probably not going to happen anyway!

Trees It's really got me down this time and I blame that on the Soy! I knew I was out this month anyway because nothing to suggest pregnancy and everything to suggest AF and I'm right because the dreaded spotting has started tonight.

loves you're right that's the thing it would be so final and I'm not at that point yet, I want to be but I just can't quite bring myself to say that's it I will never ever have another baby. Sorry about your BFN I had high hopes that you would be the next one to announce a BFP. Why do our bodies have to wind us up like that. It's awful isn't it I've really lost it with OH, I think more so because I blame him for making it so difficult. I've felt the same these last few days that life is shit and unfair. Hope you're feeling better soon

Metal I'm going to look in to booking a holiday for next year. Is the Asherman's something that can be treated fairly easily?

I have 2 very heavy days (super plus & towel) and in total last about 9 days including spotting and lighter days. I've always had heavy long periods.

Still no AF, so no rest for my whirring brain just yet :(

I have had lighter flow since DS up until last month when it was very very heavy and lasted for 10 days. I sometimes wonder if its my stress levels playing havoc and this cycle I'm now on CD32 which is unheard of for me. Which also makes me wonder if something is wrong. Nothing wrong with a midweek tipple metal I like to think of it as lowering my stress levels which is also very important for TTC don't you know

bobsy book that holiday and I think you can't give up yet, not if it will leave you with regrets

Metal if the alcohol helps you feel less stressed then go for it. I've had chocolate twice this week because of how I'm feeling so I've broken my no chocolate in the week rule!

loves that's strange still no AF is there any chance the tests could be wrong? I know I've read stories on mumsnet where people have taken weeks before they got a BFP, just a thought I'm not trying to build your hopes up.

I'm going to get some holiday brochures this weekend because I probably won't be pregnant & regret not booking something.

Well I'm still stupidly hoping this is implantation! I know it's not, I'm being silly keep telling myself there is absolutely nothing to suggest I'm pregnant & everything to suggest AF!

bobsy that's what scares me, Asherman's can be treated but I think the chances of having a successful pregnancy afterwards can vary quite a lot depending on how bad it is, and I'm not sure if the treatment would be covered by the NHS. Privately it's about £4k!

Strange AF still hasn't shown up loves, do you know how many dpo you are? Maybe you poas too early...?

I always hang on to the last shred of hope that I'm not out until AF arrives bobsy even if I've tested BFN before, so totally understand where you're coming from.

DH is off to the clinic this morning, just hope he manages to deliver the goods, so to speak!

I'm trying very hard to be realistic because this is most likely not the case but I had to test twice with DS because the first test was a BFN also I still don't have any symptoms of AF apart from this strange cramping. No idea how many dpo I am was going to start monitoring it properly this cycle with my shiny new CBFM!

See i'm the same as you guys it doesn't matter what symptoms we see (in my case an actual BFN !!) we still talk ourselves round to thinking we might maybe still be pg until AF turns up. It's exhausting.

yay for holiday brochures very exciting and metal easier said then done but try not to worry about what might be wrong until a test shows it - but definitely make sure you push the Dr's and tell them what you think it could be like I said above you know your body best.

I think that still sounds very promising loves, cramping and no AF were signs for me both times, and if you don't know when you ov'd it might well have been too early to test.

I know you're right and I shouldn't jump to conclusions, but I'm just so sick of waiting and the that fact that we managed to conceive twice quite easily before the mc makes it very hard not to assume that something was damaged during the erpc... anyway, I think I just have write this year off, get all the tests done and then hopefully we'll be ready to move forward with any necessary treatment and better luck next year!

Hey I'm back from holiday, just catching up with all the news. (Holiday was quite hellish due to DS having a small cold and turning into the whiniest, most demanding toddler who absolutely hated the hotel, the beach, and pretty much everything else. Sigh. Cyprus otherwise nice)

Congrats Guinness! We needed a BFP here - can you remind me how long you were trying? And did you do anything differently?

Sorry about all the AFs and BFNs.

Little, 5K is a massive amount of money, but have you considered doing it somewhere else than UK? I'm originally from Estonia and we have very good fertility clinics, top range, but still a lot cheaper - I believe the price for IVF starts from around a 1000 EUR. And they have a lot of patients from other countries due to that.

Over here, something odd is going on, as I got a whole load of ewcm on cd12. Nothing on ov sticks though. But this morning, cd16, both my monitor and ov sticks claim that I'm ovulating, but I have no other symptoms and no ewcm. So what's up with this? The soy did not change my cycle then if that's correct, I always got + on ov sticks around day 16-17.

Welcome back hazle, I'm sorry to hear your DS was being a bit of a pain on holiday. Hope you managed to enjoy yourself a bit despite the toddler tantrums!

That's a bit strange about your ewcm, although I often get the biggest quantities a few days before ov too, then on the actual day of ov there's often only a little bit. It makes sense though if you think about it as the ewcm is there to help the sperm survive for longer and swim better, and I've read that sex one or two days before ov is actually better for conception than doing it on the day. (I'd still try and dtd tonight though obviously.)

I swear DS was working his way through this blog: www.reasonsmysoniscrying.com/

Getting some pains in my left side, so could indeed be ov. Luckily DTD last night as well, surely that should have nailed it? Yes, I have also read that day or two before is best, and day of ov, especially if you wait until the evening, could already be too late. I'm quite happy I got the egg on the monitor again - for the past couple of months, it never appeared (even though sticks were positive).

Welcome back hazle I love that blog :) was the weather nice?

Hi folks, not been on for a few days, had family to stay over the weekend, which was chaotic but nice, then had a job interview yesterday, so been busy preparing for that. I didn't get the job unfortunately, the hours weren't really ideal, but it was a bit of a confidence blow to not get the job. Considering I had decided I wouldn't even take it if they did offer it to me, it made me quite upset that I didn't get it, on top of not being able to get pregnant. I don't think I'll bother applying for anymore jobs, as it's just too much to take on as well as ttc! I thought it would be good to throw myself into something other than ttc, but I would have had to have stopped for 3 months or so in order to qualify for ML, and I didn't really want to do that. Does anyone else find this whole thing has really knocked their confidence, and made them feel so much more emotional and tearful in everyday life? I just like a big fat mess at the moment!! Anyway, I thought about not taking the SI incase I got the job, but luckily I decided to take them anyway, so have been taking 100mg since day4, day8 today, have also been taking EPO, seven seas trying for a baby, and drinking raspberry leaf tea!

Hazle sorry your DS was playing up on your holiday, why do they do it to us!! Hope you enjoyed some sunshine and a change of scene anyway if nothing else! I always tend to get more cm before I actually get a +ve opk too, that makes sense what metal said about it being there to help the swimmers along before the egg is released....as long as we make sure to DTD as often as we can in that period then supposedly that should do the job.

metal easier said than done I know but try not to worry about something that may be nothing. I think you are right to be suggesting to the Drs that you are worried something may be amiss after having your erpc, but try not to get yourself in too much of a state about it being Ashermans. If it would put your mind at rest do book in for a private consultation, but I think if it was me I would wait until the 24th, it's only another few weeks and in the very worst case scenario, it would save you the money for fertility treatment. Oh, and I've also completely fallen off the no drinking/healthy eating wagon a loong time ago I can't seem to shake the thought that we conceived DD when we weren't particularly healthy so why should it be any different now!?

Bobsy sorry you are feeling so down and fed up. We are all in a bit of a pit of despair at the moment aren't we! We need to think of some ways to cheer ourselves up a bit. Maybe it's the onset of winter bringing us down, and the clocks change this weekend, eurgh! I am looking forward to christmas, but again, it will be bittersweet. Hows the spotting today Bobsy?

loves I am thinking of you, what an annoying situation to be in, I had it over last christmas and new year, my cycle was 33 days for no apparent reason rather than 28. I kept getting bfns but didn't know whether it was ok or not for me to be drinking! I hope it does eventually turn into a BFP for you, especially if you have no symptoms, and a similar thing happened to you with DS. I take it you have been using FMU!? Have you tried different brands of PG tests?

to the others too, will stop waffling now, this post was meant to be short....!

the weather was indeed perfect, very good time to go to Cyprus. 25-26 degrees, so not too hot, but definitely still beach weather.

As for pregnancy tests, could be just the brand? When pregnant with DS, I used internet cheapo tests after the CB digital had already confirmed the pregnancy - just to check that the line was getting darker every day. And they were still BFN for several days after the CB gave me a BFP.

Metal like the others try not to worry too much until you know for sure what the problem is, I know that is easier said than done, hopefully it won't be Asherman's. That is a lot of money! Yep I'm hanging on to that last bit of hope when I know deep down that AF will arrive but when she does it will all hit me again!

loves I'd say test again in a day or two if AF doesn't show up, hopefully you will get your BFP.

Hazle Glad you had good weather, shame about the toddler tantrums they can be hard work can't they.

Gingerbread What a shame about the job, try not to let it get you down too much, easier said than done I know. That's a good point about starting another job while TTC you don't want to miss out on ML. I think this whole TTC is such an emotional rollercoaster, I get upset so much more than I used to over silly little things and that's at any point in my cycle. I'm going to take the proper dosage of Soy for the next cycle so by my reckoning I should start taking it on Saturday for cycle days 3-7, AF due tomorrow . Is Raspberry Leaf Tea supposed to help then? I'm giving up the Seven Seas Trying for a Baby tablets as I've had 3 packets now and nothing although I have heard they have worked for other people. I'm just going to take folic acid instead. Since Monday I've been so angry and upset, I'm blaming the soy for making me feel this bad, I feel slightly better today. The spotting last night was barley anything there and the same this morning with nothing for the rest of the day but again I think the Soy may have changed my cycle (I know I'm blaming everything on the Soy and it might not be that). This cold dark weather doesn't help with how down we are all feeling about TTC anyway. You're right Christmas will be bittersweet, I do love Christmas but it will also remind me that DD hasn't got a sibling to play with, I feel so guilty. It's another milestone too, I've got through so many milestones where I've thought I'll be pregnant by then or I'll have a baby by then. I want to give up but I can't bring myself to do it, but I'm starting to think that it's not going to happen and maybe I need to get my head around that, I really want to have this cloud that is TTC lifted from me. It'll be 2 years in January so if I haven't conceived by then, then surely something must be wrong!

Oh dear hazle - we had a holiday like that in the spring to Gran Canaria. Ds had a bit of a bug and a temperature and I guess the hot weather didn't agree with him. He was evil until the sun went down. Then coughed all night and kept us awake. Holiday from hell-I feel your pain! We took it in turns so the other person could enjoy a couple of peaceful hours on the beach. No point all three of us being miserable!

I'm sorry everyone 's having such a hard time! I'm feeling pretty positive, but of course that's because I'm so early in the 2ww that I can't even symptom spot. By next week I'll be stressy again, and then I've got the hsg to look forward to if/when af gets me. Such a joy.

luckily he's back to normal again now that we're home - usually such an easy baby who rarely every cries, so was a bit of a shock to the system.

God me too Bobsy I feel like an emotional wreck, doesn't matter what CD I am on. I just want this all to stop. I was saying to DH last night I just want to get on with my life
RLT is meant to help with strengthening the uterus, but can only be drank up until ovulation as it can increase the chance of mc after ov. I try to drink one cup a day, but don't always remember. I think it tastes quite nice as far as herbal teas go, got it from H&B. I've been feeling more cramping than I normally would for this point in my cycle, not sure if it's the soy, EPO or RLT, (or if I'm imagining it) but I hope it can only mean good things!
The thought of giving up is so tempting sometimes, but I'm not sure I could live with the reality of it. I know you struggle with the added stress of getting DH to DTD but is there anyway you could try and take the pressure of yourself a bit Bobsy? I know it's all so much easier said than done, but instead of just giving up completely, which is so final, try to take on that mindset of what will be will be, don't let it take over your life and ruin these early years with DD, but keep trying as and when you can. I just don' t want you to regret giving up too soon Bobsy, there are still so many avenues you can pursue, but the state we are getting ourselves into can't be helping matters!

Metal how are you feeling after the soy? What CD are you on now? Any side effects?

loves any news....??

Little brill that you've got your hsg booked, hopefully you won't need it though!

Hazle what a little monkey! Bet you need another holiday to recover from that one now!

Morning everyone! DS is napping so I thought I would pop on and see how you all are. Bit of a rogue nap on his part but think he is shattered from 3 days at nursery.

Gingerbread - sorry to hear about the job. I definitely agree with you that TTC is draining and makes me feel like a failure! I also want to get a new job as I am stressed, tired and run ragged but also bored as I have been there so long. Not a great combo and probably not helping TTC either. I wanted to scream at a colleague yesterday about something he did which made my job harder but I knew I was overreacting and had lots of pent up emotion.

Hazel - we had the same nightmare holiday to Spain in June. It was our first one abroad and the most stressful holiday I have ever been on! DS was just walking so we couldnt take our eyes of him and he hated the apartment/pool/beach too. Next year we are sticking with good old Cornwall with my family as it is more relaxing! I also didnt enjoy the death stares we got on the plane (despite him being amazing).

Bobsy - remind me on the soy doses? I am going to start next cycle as got to do something right?!

Loves - have you poas yet??

So...we have had a terrible month for TTC! I think I ovulated yesterday. We managed to DTD the day before but yesterday was another failed attempt. I feel so upset and angry about it but know that is being unkind to DH. He's obviously feeling the pressure as he cant 'complete' his end of the deal. So unless a miracle happens this month is a right off. Just feel like giving up which I know is not an option but I am really not enjoying this and I dont think he is either!!

Trees, as much as I've read, the best time to DTD is actually a day or two before ov, and not the same day. So your timing should be fine. Over here, the ov sticks are negative again, so LH surge definitely yesterday.

As for holidays, we've been abroad loads of times, and he's usually great. But yes, first holiday after he started walking, so that might have contributed.

The recommended soy dose would be 100mg per day - but according to internet threads, most people start with 80-100 and build up to 160-180. You should not take more than 200mg per day.

loves yes, any news? And Bobsy, has AF arrived?