Anyone got pregnant with no.1 very quickly bit struggling with no.2?

[tattyteddy]

Hello,

Was just wondering whether anybody has had a similar experience?

When trying for first child got pregnant the first month, however that ended in MC. Luckily I got pregnant again with DD after first month of trying again.

DD is now three, we would have started TTC sooner but I went back I Uni and I'm due to finish in November.

We have been trying for 5 months and no luck, worried that I've left it too late as I'm now 37.

Hazel that's interesting about the maca!! Bobsy I reckon you should start putting some in DH cereal?! Might make him more up for it? My reflexologist also said my DH should eat 2 Brazil nuts a day to increase sperm production! Might get him on the maca too....

I'm CD3 AF pretty much stopped. I only really have 1 day if full flow. Making me worry I'm premenopausal!! My periods seem to be getting shorter and shorter. Although my pms worse! Little I get cramps from ovulation to AF. Sore boobs were my big giveaway to bring pregnant last time and I had sore boobs this month so thought I was up duffed but AF came at 9dpo. Worried that even if we fertilise and egg it's got no chance to implant as with DS he implanted 10dpo!!

Had cuddles with a 4 week old baby today. Was lovely but actually didn't make me as broody as I thought. I think I'm desperate to be pregnant and desperate for a baby but not a newborn!! My DS was sooo hard I'm still recovering mentally from the first 6 months! So keep telling myself that a bigger age gap would be better!! Anyhow, nearly the weekend .

Ha Trees - I'm the same. Really struggled with my little boy as a newborn - doesn't even feel like he was the same person, or me for that matter. Total meltdown and lots of drugs to bring me back to normal, so why I want to go through all that again is anybody's guess. Except that now I know that awful bit really is temporary and you end up with a lovely baby, then toddler and now gorgeous nearly 4 year old. Well, gorgeous apart from the temper and the stubbornness...

Sorry ginger, no dates for scans or anything. First hospital appointment next Tuesday so will see what happens. As DS came along via emergency CS, I definitely want to push for a scan, because that's the most obvious change since I got pregnant the last time. But the closer the appointment gets, the more the possibility of there being nothing 'wrong' and it just being 'one of those things' is getting to me.

LittlePoot Sorry you're feeling so low, I do know exactly how you feel, it is depressing and its made me feel depressed. I actually burst in to tears when I went to see the doctor and asked her for something to help calm me down and cope with it better. She said she couldn't give me anti-depressants with TTC but she prescribed something else to take as and when needed, she suggested taking them just before AF is due. I also have to face my pregnant colleague every day who fell pg with her second on first cycle of trying and I'm finding that hard to take. I get a lot of days like that when I think I might never get pregnant again. That must be hard seeing DS cuddling babies and wanting one, its stings me a bit when DD say's she wants a brother and a sister.

Gingerbread when I got pg with DD we weren't actively trying and I didn't know much about being pregnant. I got brown spotting which turned out to be implantation but to me it was just like the start of AF, I had sore boobs which were sore before AF was due, so when AF didn't arrive in her usual glory & I was starting to wonder what was wrong I kept thinking that because my boobs were sore before AF due I couldn't be pregnant because I wouldn't get a pregnancy symptom that early. About 5-6 weeks I started feeling nauseous but it came on in the evening so that didn't convince me either I just thought it was a bug. I was at least 6 weeks gone before I did a test and I can't remember if anything else was different. I had to giggle at what you put 'eat shit like maca powder'! I suppose we have to have a giggle somewhere along the line in all this, but we are all so prepared to try anything that we believe will help.
It is strange how we're all doing everything possible and still not falling pregnant, but why does it happen so easily for others!

HazelNutt I need to get some of those for definite if that is a male side effect! Where did you get them from?

Treesandbees I could put some in his tea tomorrow. I didn't know about the Brazil Nuts might have to get some of them too, it's about time OH had to take stuff too because I feel like I've got my own chemist going on on my dressing table!

No row for me and OH tonight, I can tell he's really not feeling well and he also asked what the test had said, I do think he would have DTD with me tonight if it had been positive. I'm glad he asked what the test had said because he doesn't normally ask. I do really need to get some maca tomorrow!

ginger I too get the sore boobs post-ov and I believe it's due to the surge in progesterone which also makes your temp go up. So you are absolutely right, before the embryo implants your body is sending out exactly the same signals each months because the hormones are the same, it's only after implantation that you start producing the pregnancy hormone hgc.

My biggest giveaway last time was that I had three days of AF cramps but no AF, but now I can't even rely on that anymore because sometimes I get cramps all through the 2ww...

Good luck with your romantic dinner tonight bobsy, I hope your DH is feeling better and will do his duty!

Oh and I know what you mean little about worrying that it's just 'one of those things'. I still can't get my head around why, if nothing is wrong, it just won't happen if you dtd at the right time every month!

Bobsy I got this one www.amazon.co.uk/Rainforest-Foods-Organic-Gelatinised-Maca/dp/B004I4DTAM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412928878&sr=8-1&keywords=rainforest+maca. It had a um.. very.. noticeable physical effect on him.

Metal I have complained about it before - if the egg is there and swimmers are there, why won't it just happen? Then again, I read a very interesting article (which I can't find at the moment) about how the body will actually do everything not to get pregnant, to select only the strongest potential babies. Basically it's an obstacle course for the egg, swimmers and then embryo, not a helpful welcoming environment. Helps to explain why it won't always happen, even when everything should be fine.

With my DS, the only symptom I got was also AF pains a couple of days before it was supposed to arrive, and I never got those before AF, only during. But same as you, I get them before AF now as well.

Trees and Little, totally with you there - I don't miss the newborn days, the pregnancy or the birth. Even though DS was a very easy newborn, just ate and slept and never cried. But I found it so boring and I didn't have this massive rush of love the second he was born, that people keep talking about. But he's such a fantastic little boy right now that it's certainly been worth it!

Oh I like the sound of this Maca business, must get some for DH!!!

Little far was such an easy baby really, bit of colic and woke 2/3 times a night for milk but settled very quickly and since 6 months has slept a dream. Maybe #2 will be a nightmare! If it ever happens.

I also get cramps in the 2ww and my acupuncture said its just the progesterone irritating the colon (nice!)
I no longer get sore boobs though which I always used to get.
Good luck to all those DTD this weekend. DH is away but I think I have already ovulated, but who knows? I am feeling a lot more zen this month for some reason!

Thanks Metal he's still feeling poorly but I'm hoping he feels better later. I can't remember getting cramps with DD & I don't tend to get AF cramps anyway just a bit of a niggle.

HazleNutt thanks for that. I'm going to go to Holland & Barret as I want some today. How many do you take & how often?

That article doesn't sound good does it but then why are there so many accidental pregnancies and so many people can have 3 or 4 without a problem or even more than that! I'm not saying the article is wrong just seems strange.

Well I've done a little experiment, I probably mentioned that the strip ov tests didn't work for me never got the hint of a line so for the last few months I've had to fork out for CB digital OPK which do work. I still had some strip tests left so I tried one today & I got a very clear line not as dark as control line but not much lighter! I'd read that people taking soy Isoflavones had got very definite lines on their strip OPK's so I'm thinking that the soy is doing something & I'm feeling positive about this cycle!

I've booked an appointment with my gynecologist for January - giving us a few more months to see if it happens naturally (well with the help of all those herbs and things). Also feeling more zen now.

Just checked briefly and was delighted to discover that the local health insurance pays for 4 attempts of IVF. I live on the French-Swiss border, am in the French system. The Swiss one does not cover IVF - so quite lucky, if we actually need that. In Switzerland, the price is about 5000 GBP per attempt, ouch!

Bobsy I haven't taken any maca yet, DH just took 2 capsules last evening. I think I'll start taking 1 or 2 per day as well.
Wow that's good news about the OPK!

Hi everyone, I popped on to the thread last week but haven't had a chance to come back until now although I have been reading on and off!

Bobsy it sounds like you're having such a tough time it must be so mentally exhausting to always have persuade your DH to do dtd. I know you haven't had much luck with your GP but if you do try another (which I would recommend, as others have said blaming it all on age with no proper testing is a cop out) do you think he would be willing to go with you 'to offer moral support' or something? Then you can talk about the frequency of sex with the GP and ask if it's a problem and hopefully the GP will bring it home to him that it's not happening enough, might give him some motivation to up his game a bit? One of the first questions my GP asked was if we had been having frequent intercourse and I don't think they would have referred for further testing if not.

Gingerbread I think it's perfectly possible to have the same normal post-ov symptoms and still be / get pregnant that cycle. I get sore boobs, bad skin, weepy etc from a couple of days after ovulation recently (never got this before DS) and I'm sure it's just my reaction to progesterone, which is high during that time whether you are pregnant or not (does that make sense?) Of course every cycle I think it means something and it never does, so frustrating!

Thanks so much for all the soya isoflavone info, I had never heard of it but it's just what I needed to give me some positivity this cycle! I have really irregular cycles and my GP said going on clomid would hopefully do the trick for us, but I can only get it through a referral to the fertility clinic so will have to wait ages. I have been feeling really hopeless this week but now ordered some soya isoflavone tablets and feel like I have a plan. If nothing else it would be amazing just to shorten my cycles a bit. I am also considering reflexology, has anyone tried that? Sorry if I missed the explanation, but what is Maca? I definitely have some problems with hormone imbalance (PCOS) so will try anything that might help with that!

Someone a while back (can't remember who sorry) asked about NHS guidelines for fertility problems with number 2, I don't know if there are guidelines but my GP was happy to refer me on after only a year (I think she would have done earlier actually due to my weird cycles) so waiting 2 years + is definitely not universal and I'm under 30 so she's not moving faster due to age. We had to wait for DH to do a SA which had a 2 month waiting list before she can refer, but he dropped his sample off this morning and we get the results on Tuesday, so hopefully that's another step forward! I am actually quite nervous about it as I am used to thinking of it as my problem, which means I can come up with pointless action plans and know there are NHS treatments available even if it all takes a while. If DH is also a problem I don't really know what we could do about it and I imagine it will be quite hard to persuade him to make any significant lifestyle changes etc

A friend whose DD is only a couple of days younger than my DS had her second baby yesterday, she sent some photos and she is so gorgeous, I'm finding it really hard to deal with! I loved the baby stage and the sight of a newborn is enough to turn me into a blubbering mess at the moment, need to find a way to suppress that before we go and visit them next week!

HazleNutt that's amazing about 4 IVF attempts! They won't fund IVF at all if you already have a child around here, so investigations and fertility drugs are as far as it goes for us. Fingers crossed you won't need it though.

Sorry for the essay, I will try to keep up a bit better in future

Fingers crossed for a mass soy-induced BFP party on here over the next month!

Just got my progesterone results - my level was 77, from what I've read they like to see at least 30. So apparently I'm having super ovulation but still can't get upduffed?!

My doc said it's unlikely the gynae will do anything as I guess clomid would be pointless. Still going to keep the appointment though when I get one.

Not sure wether I should bother with the soy now though... argh!

Metal from what I read, soy is only useful if the issue is with ovulation, which you do not seem to have then.
Mister maca is maca root, you can get it as powder or capsules. Studies (on mice, but nevertheless) show positive effect on both male and female fertility.

That's what I thought Hazle. There goes my plan for next cycle then. [sigh] Back to the drawing board.

HazelNutt That is good about the IVF but hopefully it won't come to that. Good that you have an appointment booked with the gynecologist but like you say there's still a few months for it to happen naturally.

I've bought some maca capsules today it was buy one and get one for a 1p so obviously I got two. I've taken one already but struggling to get OH to take one I don't know why he can't just take one but it's 'I'll take one later' It's a flaming tablet for goodness sake takes a second to take!!

MisterSafetyCatchIsNotOn You're right it is mentally exhausting, I've even said maybe it's time to give up but he say's he doesn't want to but then why won't he do what's necessary! It is so frustrating when he say's 'I'm tired'. When I saw a gp (before the one who told me it's my age) she referred me for blood tests but she did ask how often we DTD, it was a bit embarrassing really but I had to be honest and told her it was once to twice when ovulating. So maybe it's a combination of my age and not DTD enough. I'm not sure whether he would come with me or not. That must be hard seeing pics of your friends new baby, although we're happy for others its hard when its not us when we've been struggling for so long.

Metal what is there to check next for you?

Well my special meal isn't happening as OH not feeling well, he's probably making a bit of a meal out of that! I just hope the OPK is negative tonight and is positive when he is feeling better. Typical isn't it. We could really do with DTD 3 times but I've enough probs getting him to DTD once.

Your DH is somewhat stubborn, isn't he, Bobsy?

He sure is Hazle I was hoping he would take a Maca capsule and it would hopefully make him feel in the mood for DTD but he wouldn't take it. I am doing everything I can to get pregnant and he is refusing to do anything to help! We'll see if he takes one 'later'.

Metal good that your progesterone level confirms ovulation - you were worried about it being too low weren't you? Also isn't it progesterone that rises lots in early pregnancy? Fx for good news for you

Mister Yep it was me wondering about NHS guidelines for TTC no.2 as my GP said 2yr wait for referral (even though i'll be >35 by then). She did send us for bloods to confirm ovulation and SA for DH so if they are abnormal I think we would get an earlier referral. Luckily we are in a position that we could probably afford private treatment if it comes to it though obviously would prefer NHS if possible. We're due to go back for the results in a couple of weeks so I might clarify what the situation is with referral.

Hazle that's lucky about the IVF being covered on your health insurance. Hopefully you won't need it at all, but if so, 4 rounds should give you an excellent chance.

Bobsy hope your OH starts feeling better soon and manages to do what's needed. Also fx that your OPK gives you a late +ve this month to allow him some recovery time. I would really like my OPKs to hurry up with a positive as DH away with work from Monday.

furtivefeline fingers crossed you get your +OPK before Monday.

Well the OPK were positive & OH is too ill to DTD! Isn't that just typical. I can't help thinking that if I hadn't taken the soya I would have ovulated later in my cycle & by which time he would have been better, which is making me think this is not meant be. His long do I keep putting myself through it!

We had a row again, silly & mainly my fault as I was so disappointed because I thought he would make the effort. It's worse because of the stress I go through every month trying to get him to DTD but he won't admit that he makes it a problem, he just doesn't see it at all, excuses every month what am I supposed to think!

*how long do I keep putting myself through it I meant, silly phone!

Oh no Bobsy what crap timing! What is actually up with him? Might he be well enough tonight? If OPK + today, ovulation is probably tomorrow sometime?

Shame we can't swap cycles as my OPK is still resolutely -ve and we only have til Monday morning to DTD before DH is away for 2 weeks. (Though actually might have missed the peak as my CD12 OPK was almost as dark as they get for me, though not technically a +Ve.)

Yes furtive my previous progesterone result was only 15, but that's because it was taken too early. I guess the next step will be an HSG or hycosy to check if my tubes are clear bobsy, though will have to discuss that with the gynae when I get my appointment. On our trust website it says the average waiting time for a first outpatient appointment in gynaecology is 36 days so hopefully it won't be too long!

DH has also said he might get one of those sperm tests from Boots, though it might be better to ask his GP first if they will do one for him.

Fx you get your +opk tomorrow furtive, and hopefully your DH will be up for dtd tonight bobsy. If he isn't I think you need to take some drastic action! It's probably the last thing you want to do, but could you just take a month off trying? Don't tell him when it's your fertile window, don't initiate sex, just step back and see if he notices. And if he doesn't you can say to him we've just wasted another month because we didn't dtd at all as you couldn't be bothered! He is really taking the piss a bit with his attitude.

Yeh exactly! Cold & sore throat so basically man flu! He's not that ill that he's stayed off work though but I know he's not well I just feel there's something every month. I got the +OPK last night so ovulation will probably be today & he is feeling better today so I'm just hoping he makes the effort to DTD with me. He said he will but that doesn't actually mean he will.

Yeh shame that we can't swap. Well if you get plenty of DTD in this weekend I'm sure you'll be in with a good chance.

Haha Hazle! That is brilliant, also very random! Your poor DH, I hope he was at home when it happened? How long did the erm, side effects last for!?
I hope you took full advantage of the opportunity too
Little good luck with your app on tuesday, hope you make some progress. Hopefully they will send you for a scan soon so you can rule out any scarring etc. It's so weird isn't it that there seems to be no reason as to why it isn't happening for any of us. My head feels totally baffled by all the 'alternative' options available, taking some weird concoctions of vitamins and drugs, herbal medicine or acupuncture, radically changing diet, giving up, losing weight. My head goes round in circles every day trying to figure out what the magic combination could be! I just want to bloody well get pregnant already and then concentrate on having a healthy pregnancy and look forward to meeting my baby. It should be that straightforward!!!
Bobsy you are right we do have to laugh about all of this and at the situations we find ourselves in. I smashed a small tumbler in the hand sink at work the other trying to scrub it after I had wee'd in it to do an OPK! Had to quietly and sneakily clean it up.....Also have rushed into Asda toilets before desperate for a wee after holding it in for 4 hours, with only an aerosol lid to use to test with!
Have you tested another OPK again today Bobsy? How are things with DH, any promise of some action tonight?
Metal fab news about your prog levels! I think next for you will be scans and hsg like you said, great that you don't have too long to wait for an appointment. My waiting time is more like 36 weeks......
I'm not sure I would bother spending money on one of those sperm tests from Boots, I have heard they aren't terribly reliable and if you can get it done for free and in a reasonable time frame then I would just stick with your GP. Hopefully DH will be clean as a whistle as he has already got your pregnant twice! Unfortunately for me my DH thinks a clear sperm result means he can continue to drink and not take his vitamins
With the soy, do you think you will take it anyway next cycle? I have read that it is helpful for ladies with irregular cycles/not ovulating, but I ovulate every month and have fairly regular cycles, but I am going to give it a go anyway. I'm planning on taking a lower dose days 4-8 to try and strengthen egg quality. After 17 go's it can't hurt surely!
Hazle that is amazing about the IVF they will offer you! Hopefully it won't come to that for you though, but good to know the appointment is there if you need it.
farfalle how long have you been doing acupuncture for now?
Mister sorry to hear about your friend, it really stings doesn't it. Good luck with the Soya Isoflavones, hopefully they do the trick for you!