Anyone got pregnant with no.1 very quickly bit struggling with no.2?

[tattyteddy]

Hello,

Was just wondering whether anybody has had a similar experience?

When trying for first child got pregnant the first month, however that ended in MC. Luckily I got pregnant again with DD after first month of trying again.

DD is now three, we would have started TTC sooner but I went back I Uni and I'm due to finish in November.

We have been trying for 5 months and no luck, worried that I've left it too late as I'm now 37.

Thanks, birthday was quite ok, considering that I'm still pissed off at stupid AF. Soy should be arriving today and just ordered some maca too. Might as well give it a try.

Loves, my DS was an easy baby as well, but at 15 months, he's still very huggable, but loads more fun than a newborn.

Ah hazle sorry about AF, and what crap timing with your birthday too. hope you were kind to yourself and had a nice time.
Bobsy I am with you on feeling frustrated by your Drs. Mine doesn't seem to be very helpful at all. I think she also thinks because of my age they don't need to do anything; because I'm not 30 yet, therefore everything must be fine. I would definitely agree try and see a different Dr, work your way around all of them in the surgery if you have to until you find one that takes you seriously! I know that's easier said than done though, I am fed up of chasing and pushing my Drs all the time, really don't need the added hassle and stress.
Agree with you all about the age gap, for the first year or so I felt so upset that the age gap I wanted wasn't going to happen, now I would just be so grateful to actually have another one. I do think if it becomes excessive I might just stop, but then if that's actually the reality I'm not sure I could bring myself to giving up! I can certainly see benefits to having a larger age gap, and I must admit I have moments where DD is being very trying and I am quite glad I don't have a newborn to deal with too! It's just the fear that it might never happen that's the worst bit for me.
loves that sucks I'm so sorry. Any chance they have been trying for a while too but just not told anyone?
I am currently thinking positive that I will have a little boy and there will be a four year age gap with DD, giving myself a 4 month time frame to work with!!
4DPO today and am going to head to tescos later to get some SI ready for next cycle, what days are you going to take them metal, and bobsy will you take them again next cycle, if it comes to that?
Oh and hello to the newbies!

Forgot to say, I have tried Maca before, not very consistently, but it didn't work for me Just to warn you, it tastes very odd and has a strange consistency. I put it on top of my cereal or in porridge and the milk tends to just run off it rather than soak in! If you are a smoothy kind of girl I think that would be the best way to have it. I bought mine in powder form from H&B. Anythings worth a go at this point though!

I ordered maca capsules, should go down without me tasting much.

I'm thinking about taking soy days 3-7, let's see what happens.

Oh Loves that must have been hard, good on your hubby being sensitive to your feelings. I'm the same I can be doing so well and then there goes a pregnancy announcement.

Gingerbread I think we're in a slightly similar position, your gp won't take you seriously because you are young and mine won't take me seriously because I'm old! Although my doctor was unhelpful with regards to sending me for further tests, she did say to ditch OPK's and me and OH just 'enjoy each other' so basically DTD because we want to and not because it's the 'right time' which would take the stress out of it a bit but unfortunately OH is not willing to cooperate with that. You shouldn't have to keep chasing your doctor. We always wanted a 2-3 year age gap but it took ages for us to start TTC with OH being not really being up for DTD. I can't bring myself to give up. Not only is the age gap not great but also my age so should be reason enough but I can't do it. There are good points to a larger age gap but I wanted my DC's to be able to play with each other. I get days like that with DD and wonder if I could cope with a newborn as well. I think if I knew it wasn't going to happen then maybe I could start trying to accept it. I feel I have to keep going at the moment though because in a few years when it really is too late I don't want to look back and think I gave up too soon!

Thanks for the info on Maca, I might give them ago anyway, I've tried everything else so why not. Do you take them once a day every day?

HazelNutt I took the Soy on cycle days 3-7 it does seem like those are the best days to take them.

I should be due to ov any day so going to take a test tonight, yes back to the OPK's when I was hoping we could just DTD every other night this week until my temp had gone up, but no OH will not cooperate with that, and he say's 'you will get pregnant'!!

Gingerbread I took the Soy on cycle days 3-7 this cycle but unfortunately didn't take as much as I should have done! I will definitely take them next cycle if it comes to it, and make sure I take the correct dose.

It's good to think positive, a 4 year age gap is really not that bad, I'm looking at a 5 year age gap.

Another one here planning to take soy next cycle.

I'm also feeling much more positive about the ever increasing age gap. Decided to make the most of only having DD and concentrate on doing lots of nice things with her that would be more difficult if pregnant or with a newborn. So have signed up for mum+toddler swimming lessons, ballet and a little music class. Hopefully might allow me to invoke the law of sod as I'll struggle to be bothered with all these groups if I get pregnant and have a pukey first trimester like last time!

I also figured that rather than feeling bad for DD that she's not getting a sibling (yet) I'd make up for it with some fun stuff and spend the money that we don't currently need for a new baby! She's been so sweet lately that I'm enjoying being able to give her lots of attention.

pfft, 'relax' - there is no evidence that stress impacts fertility. Depression yes, but not stress. So there's also no evidence that not stressing about getting pregnant is in any way helpful. And all those 'we stopped stressing and then it happened' couples were just lucky - the ones that didn't get pregnant are simply not advertising it.

It is quite clear though that knowing your cycles and fertile times does help with conception. And figuring out if there might be some simple reasons why we are not getting pregnant as fast as we'd like to.

bobsy sorry if I missed it - how much soy were you taking and why you think it wasn't enough?

Good for you furtivefeline glad you're feeling positive. I think to myself that we do a lot with DD that perhaps we wouldn't do with a baby & I suppose as our first born she's getting that precious time with just us before her sibling (hopefully) arrives & we also get that precious time with her.

HazleNutt I think you're right there.

In the post that I copied it says to start taking at least 100mg then the last 3 days take 160mg never exceed 200mg, but me not thinking just took one tablet per day as it says '1 a day' on the bottle & I didn't realise they were only 40mg per tablet.

Well OPK was negative but I told OH I did the test & he said that he thought I wasn't doing them & i said that I thought we would DTD every other night this week but it has happened to which he replied 'that's not my fault'! Really!!

I blame him as part of the reason I can't get pg as I think we don't DTD enough over my fertile time.

No chance that my cousin were trying for a long time ginger their older DD is younger then my DS but they have their own problems and I really am happy for them just unhappy for myself!

furtive I'm trying to do the same with DS as well because if I had got pregnant when we started trying I would have a 3 month old now and wouldn't have the time to do all the things with him, and he really is super cute at the moment. It's his birthday tomorrow and I've agreed to make a fire engine cake for him!! (I have no idea how!) I'm really treasuring him at the moment probably because all this also makes it apparent how lucky we are to have him, if that makes sense?

Oh bobsy your DH isn't making it easy is he, maybe buy him one of those how to make a baby books you get for children just to emphasise the point! if nothing else it might make him laugh!!

I'm off to the health food shop this weekend to look for Soy Isoflavones and Maca as well, (Knowing my luck you would all get your soy assisted BFP's this month and I would be kicking myself for not joining in :) ) though goodness only knows what they are called in Norwegian.

So heres to a soycessfull cycle everyone (thats the best soy pun I could come up with!)

You're in Norway, loves? It's the same basically, soyaisoflavoner or you can ask for soyatilskudd (soy supplement).

Amazing thank you :) do you speak norwegian?

No, but I speak Swedish, and it's similar enough to google Norwegian sites.

Ginger I'm planning on taking the soy CD4-8 as I don't really want to risk more than one egg popping out!

Had my third progesterone test today, hopefully it will show I did ovulate. In a way all these test have really helped distract me during the 2ww, I'm 7dpo today and have been far less obsessed with symptom spotting than usual. Or maybe it's because I'm not very hopeful that it's ever going to happen anymore, and even if it does, who's to say I won't have another miscarriage... ah there you go, back to normal miserable self!

I did a Swedish course once with my mum hazel, all I can remember is when we were supposed to practice introducing each other and asking personal questions, my mum got asked by this guy "Ha du bilen?"

I need to know what that means now metal!
I think I might take it days 4-8 too, then if no luck, 3-7 next cycle. What dose are you/is everyone else planning on taking? Oh wouldn't it be lovely if we all got soy BFPs! I'm not even going to attempt a pun as I won't be able to beat yours loves! Did make me laugh!
I think an age gap in the realms of 4-5 years is ok. I think in hindsight those ladies who have smaller age gaps must be brave/mad and must be able to survive on very little sleep! I love my sleep so I suppose there is a positive. If DD wakes at night now I really struggle to drag myself out of bed, especially now it's getting colder! A friend of a friend had two girls 2 years apart and every visit she made to my friend for the first 4 months she would just sit on the sofa and cry saying she couldn't cope!
Hazle maca tablets! Amazing! Why didn't I find those! Had to force down a disgusting powder instead! You are so right as well about the whole stress thing, that winds me up when Drs say just relax, stop thinking about it. You then get stressed trying not to stress!! Maybe we should start a new topic thread titled 'I stopped thinking about ttc, went on a luxury expensive holiday to the Caribbean and relaxed and didn't get pregnant!' just to even out the statistics a bit.
Bobsy I am so annoyed with your DH. I mean what the hell is wrong with him! I second the idea to get him a birds and the bees book, maybe leave Sperm Meets Egg books all over the house or something! Or highlight your fertile week on the calendar?! I think using OPKs is a good idea, I have tried giving them up before to reduce stress/obsession but I just end up worrying that I may have missed ov that month and really don't want to have to dtd more than I have to
I am on 5dpo today and hopelessly symptom spotting despite being on my 17th attempt at this. I might even POAS next tuesday at 10dpo, just because I have an abundance of pg tests!
Also, I seem incapable of writing short messages....sorry about that!

Nothing rude ginger if you were hoping for that! It means "do you have a car", which at the time I thought was pretty funny as a first introduction.

Ginger great idea for a thread! I'm sure we can get loads of stories like "TTC for 2 years, then finally we decided that if it doesn't happen, then it doesn't, relaxed, and guess what? ..

It didn't happen!"

I'm planning to take soy on 3-7, so starting today. I have 35mg pills, so thinking about 3 pills first (105mg) and building up to 4 or 5 (175)?

If this does not work, will get DH and myself checked out, just the basic stuff to see that there's nothing obvious wrong.

Loves No he's not at all and to make things worse he is now ill! Like thesoycessfull pun, let's hope we do get that rush of BFP's on this thread.

Will me and OH had a big row last night, it was my fault but I was annoyed with him because I'd done the test and said it was negative but also said that there was quite a good chance as I was sure I was in my fertile window anyway. Well later in the evening close to bed time he said he wasn't feeling very well and was going to bed. I lost my cool with him, I think it's the stress and the fact that last weekend for 2 nights he was too tired! We both said things we shouldn't have he even said he doesn't want to have sex with me! He's apologised this morning though.

He's said that if the test is positive we will DTD tonight even if he's still feeling ill but that's what he does, he say's he will but when it actually comes to it he'll just be too ill!! Men are bad enough at being ill anyway.

Gingerbread It's not wonder I end up rowing with him! Yeh maybe I need to get those books, but probably would make no difference to him. I don't know what is wrong with him, he just thinks it'll happen, that is part of the problem as well that we need to DTD more often when I'm ovulating and he doesn't get that. He say's we will but when it comes to it he'll be too tired and now he's ill as well. Good luck for next Tuesday. I am also incapable of typing short messages.

Metal good luck with the Progesterone test results and glad the tests have given you a distraction. It's hard not to be a bit miserable about it all isn't it, I sometimes feel like I have a huge cloud over me.

Hazle You made me chuckle with that thread title!

Ah that's a shame metal!
Ooh Hazle starting your soy today, that's exciting, let us know if you get any side effects!
Bobsy have you thought about artificial insemination?! Can't remember if we've discussed it before....but basically you get DH to do his business in a cup then pop it in a syringe, get your bum propped up and fertilise yourself!! There have been a couple of threads on it over the years, if you put it into google I'm sure it will come up. Might be a way around DHs apparent total lack of sex drive? Do you think he would go for it? He could do his bit then get back to watching tv/go to sleep!
Well I didn't dtd quite as much as I had hoped this month, it threw me a bit with ovulation being 3 days early, so as I was planning lots of dtd in the run up to cd17, I actually got a positive cd14.
Does anyone else get quite early signs that AF is on her way? About a week to ten days before her arrival I have a breakout of spots, and feel utterly depressed (more so than usual) and hopeless. It has always been like this, even before ttc, but do you think it is possible to get these pre AF symptoms but then actually become pregnant in the time before AF arrives? If the egg hadn't implanted yet would I still get these same pre AF signs but then could actually be pregnant a few days later? Does that actually make sense to anyone!?

Ginger - that totally makes sense to me! And I've been thinking exactly the same thing. Basically, how soon does your body know you're pregnant and so how soon are the symptoms different from any other month? I had always thought that nothing was different until the fertilised thingy implants - before that your body would behave the same if you're going to be pregnant or not. Assuming implantation doesn't start until 7dpo, the symptoms you describe start before implantation. I have the same - although mine are always boob related symptoms. I always get really sore boobs for at least a week, if not more, before AF. In the last few months, it's started the day after ovulation - so what does that mean?! I remember when I got pregnant with and before DS, I didn't get any PMT symptoms, which was kind of how I guessed I was pregnant. But if I'm getting PMT from 1dpo, how does that work?! Am thinking of asking about it next week when I see the hospital, although I'm not expecting much as an answer. Tbh, I'm a bit depressed about the whole thing at the moment. I think getting the tests done and then getting referred had given me something to look forward to - as if things were going to change. But realistically, they're just going to have a scan and a poke around and tell me nothing's obviously wrong and just to relax and keep trying, aren't they? So it's not going to be the big breakthrough I was gearing myself up to, and the truth is that I'm just still not pregnant and might never be. Having a really rubbish day thinking about it actually. DS adores babies - is always cuddling all my friends' babies and often says he'd like one. Breaks my heart every time. Why isn't it happening?! Last month, we dtd an absolutely ridiculous amount - including setting the alarm early to get some in before DS woke up around ovulation. Seriously. And nothing. If that doesn't do it then what will???

Gingerbread yes I have already suggested that to him & it went down like a lead balloon. I even went on eBay to look at insemination kits but we use the same eBay account& I didn't realise that you could see items you'd previously viewed & he went mad at me when he saw that I'd been looking at them! Why do our bodies have to mess around. I'm on CD16 & another negative OPK, I got my positive OPK on CD20 last cycle but I'm I think I'm going to ov earlier because I've had the EWCM earlier than usual. I was wondering if it was perhaps to do with the soya. I understand what you mean because I thought that last cycle because you ovulate then you start lutuel phase so there could still be hormones related to that phase you get whether pg or not (if I'm making sense). I would also be interested to know.

I'm going to make the effort tomorrow night & were going to have a 3 course meal sat at the dining table just the 2 of us,I'll get my good crockery out too & some candles soft music.. I won't be salving over a hot cooker I've just picked up a Tesco finest dining for 2!

I'm glad it made sense, and it's not just me Little! I get the same thing with the boobs, never noticed it before ttc-ing, but mine get really sore the day after I ov too, then when they stop hurting I know AF is on her way any day. I guess that must be something to do with hormones? I don't really remember how any of it happened with DD, I wasn't really paying much attention as we had only just started ttc when I fell pregnant. Sigh. Would be interesting to see if you get an answer about it, but I would imagine you are right, our bodies must follow the same cycle they usually would with all the hormones until hopefully implantation does happen between 7 and 10dpo. So anything before that is a non symptom? Wish I had a degree in female hormones and reproduction!!
Sorry you are feeling down about it all at the moment, I can relate to that. I have days where I just think this is all so stupid, why can't I just get pregnant easily like everyone else seems to and like we are designed to. Why do I have to go through all these guessing games and jump through hoops and eat stupid shit like maca powder!!
I felt exactly the same about my scan, as if there would be some big reveal as to why it isn't happening, so when she told me everything looked clear I just felt a bit flat afterwards. It just doesn't make any sense does it? And it feels so much worse when you make so much effort to dtd for nothing. Another thing I can't understand is why is it normal for it to take up to two years?! If there is nothing wrong, and you dtd at the right times, why is month 23 any different from month 4!!?
I feel for you with DS saying he would like a baby, it cuts like ice doesn't it? How old is your DS now? Have you got a date for any scans yet?
There I go with my long posts again!!

Damn Bobsy I thought I had cracked it then with AI for you! Maybe you could just try bringing home a different man? that would soon get him off the sofa!! Like the sound of a romantic candle lit dinner, good crockery has to work surely! Just don't let him eat too much or drink too much so he's too full/sleepy! Good luck anyway.

Yeh, maybe it's hormones related to the LP. Hmm. Wish I knew! I guess even your body doesn't know it's pregnant until implantation occurs.

So I got those maca capsules, mostly for DH as they should have a good effect on male fertility. He took a couple and a little while later informed me, that apparently they also have an interesting side effect - let's just say that if soy is nature's clomid, then maca is nature's viagra

Maybe something to feed to reluctant partners?