Anyone got pregnant with no.1 very quickly bit struggling with no.2?

[tattyteddy]

Hello,

Was just wondering whether anybody has had a similar experience?

When trying for first child got pregnant the first month, however that ended in MC. Luckily I got pregnant again with DD after first month of trying again.

DD is now three, we would have started TTC sooner but I went back I Uni and I'm due to finish in November.

We have been trying for 5 months and no luck, worried that I've left it too late as I'm now 37.

Congrats wonky that is amazing! Gives us all some hope that it can and does happen.
Hi everyone, have been reading back on all the chat and it is safe to say I agree with every single thing every one of you have said. It is comforting to know that there are other ladies out there who go through this same mental thought process driving yourself crazy thinking about every little thing every single day. There is barely a minute goes by of every day that I am not in someway thinking about another baby. This was never meant to be a part of my life plan, and I try and tell myself every day life doesn't go according to plan, count your blessings, lucky to have one child etc etc but sometimes you just need to dwell and feel sorry for yourself and rant and cry and drink a bottle of wine and eat a whole bar of chocolate don't you? Well that's what I have been doing this week anyway. CD6 today and I am going to dtd as much as possible(starting last night), drink raspberry leaf tea, take Bvits and trying for baby vits, cut back on caffeine and no alcohol. I have my scan on monday so hope I get some answers from that. I feel like I have already tried everything, and don't really know where to go from here. I am going through the motions of having tests and scans done but I think deep down I believe I am going to need fertility treatment to ever get pregnant again and we just cannot afford that. I am trying to convince myself I am ok with only ever having one, but the reality of getting to 3,5 or 10 years down the line and DD still being on her own...I just can't believe it. I just don't want this whole ttc game to be my life any more, I want to be able to move on and move forward with family or career or something! Do you know what I mean?
Sorry for the completely selfish rambling crazy post may have something to do with the bottle of wine but I just needed to vent.

Thank you for DD's Birthday wishes she's had a lovely day & been spoilt, then it's her party on Saturday.

I totally get what your friend mean farfallarocks and I've thought that I'm giving to much attention to my lack of baby #2 and not appreciate DD more but it is hard because I feel so guilty that she hasn't got a sibling & all her friends at pre-school have siblings. Those pg announcements are so hard especially when it happened so easily, I'm jealous of my work colleague who got pg with #2 straight after starting trying, it's getting to the point where I don't want to go to work silly person that I am! I'm the same with OH it's better for fertile window to be over the weekend.

Yes it does hurt loves I did what the book suggested & wrote positive things down in a note book like 'I will get pregnant this cycle' & gone about how I couldn't wait to do a pg test & couldn't wait for my first scan etc ... I kept reading it back to myself & feeling positive reading it but now I want to throw the notebook away!

Thanks Metal and hope you get your positive OPK soon.

GingerBreadHound your post sounds exactly like I could have written it. I understand exactly what you mean & this is the place to rant because we're all in the same boat supporting each other.

Well I went to docs again this afternoon and if I wasn't already thinking of giving up TTC I would be now basically there's nothing else they can do its my age I'm just not producing many eggs & the quality isn't as good. I felt like she was trying to say I might as well give up. The one thing she did say was to ditch the OPK's & start having regular sex because we want to which does make sense, she was very understanding of how I felt but it seems there's nothing left for me to try and no more tests

Congratulation wonky you deserve it 18 months is a long time and its so nice to be happy about someones pregnancy announcement for once :)

oh bobsy what an awful Dr's appointment how are you feeling about it all that's quite a shock to be told there is nothing left for you to try are you coping ok?

ginger I remember a while back you had holidays and activities planned to help you stop thinking about TTC, did it work? Is it worth thinking of something else a project maybe? I started cross-stitching again this week I know it sounds lame and it doesn't exactly stop me thinking about TTC but just kinda focus's my nervous energy elsewhere.

metal Hope you get your + OPK soon.

Ah wonky you really have put a smile on my face this morning and I don't even know you, it can happen and it will happen for me.

wonkylegs congratulations that is such great news, it's so lovely to hear of someone getting pregnant after trying for so long

loves thanks for asking I'm coping ok at the moment, but I have lost all hope of ever having another, 21 cyles of trying and being 38 speaks for itself I think. How can I ever just relax without thinking about conceiving. OH won't accept giving up but then what annoys me is his lack of cooperation with DTD! I asked the doctor to give me something to calm me down and help me to cope because I really do lose it when AF shows her ugly head! She couldn't give me anti-depressants with TTC and I am not entirely ready to shut the door on it yet and especially with OH not agreeing, so she has given me something to take as and when needed. Hopefully I can deal with it all better now.

So that's now 2 BFP's on this thread I think this will be the start of many more

ginger I know exactly what you mean, I too feel like my life is on hold and I'm really struggling to think about anything other than ttc. I'm starting acupuncture next week in the hope that it might at least help me relax a bit more.

bobsy I'm so sorry your GP was of no help. I mentioned soy isoflavones a few days ago, maybe that would be worth trying? They're supposed to be a bit like a natural clomid and help improve strength of ovulation and/or egg quality depending on when you take them. If you Google "soy isoflavones for ttc" you'll find some guides on when to take them and how much, I think it's generally either CD2-6, 3-7 or 4-8.

I've just come back from a Macmillan coffee morning and one of the mums I was talking to asked if we were going to have any more kids. I just said "we're working on it, but it's not happening at the moment"! I'm fed up with being all evasive or outright lying, so I just came out with the truth...

Thanks Metal, I've just been reading up on them and I'm going to try and get some today. I'm on CD3 so think I would need to start taking them today.

I got asked that the other day at work and I said no we're not, it's just my natural reaction, but to be honest I think I will just start telling people the truth rather than lying if they ask.

Hello all, after getting my BFP last weekend I have sadly had a miscarriage. I had a bright red bleed yesterday, got referred to EPU and had it confirmed. Feeling gutted but firmly re-joining you guys for support in trying for number two (still).

Oh slightly I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage in Feb so I know how devastating it is. Take care of yourself, and I hope you've got lots of people to support you.

Good luck with the soy bobsy, let me know how you get on.

I'm sorry slightly, hope you're getting lots of support & hope you feel better soon.

Thanks Metal I managed to get some from Tesco so will let you know how I get on.

All the ups and downs of life in one thread. slightly, I am so sorry.

And wonky, I am really pleased for you. 18 months. You are now my inspiration when I feel like giving up.

ginger do I know what you mean? Do i?!? Every word makes such sense.

bobsy could you have a break from ttc until the new year? I am the same age as you, so don think we should give in yet, but two years is a long time, maybe a few weeks off to just eat, drink and not even discuss ttc might help?

metal going to use your reply. Really p*sses me off that people who can't. Even name my husband think I might want to discuss my family plans with them.

I have all the typical af signs so just waiting now. metal is your acupuncturist treating you whilst you actively ttc?

I'm so glad you all agree with me! Was a bit worried that I had gone a bit too crazy!
slightly I am so sorry. That is just utterly shit. Make sure you look after yourself and indulge yourself for a bit. Sorry that you are back here but we are definitely here to support you when you need/want it.
metal will be interesting to hear your opinions of acupuncture, I think that is a next step for me, DH isn't to keen on me spending money on it though Did your blood test today go ok? Also I really like your response, I have decided I will start telling people the truth too, but it's been so long now no one asks me anymore....
Also agree with the issue of missing out on these early years with DD, but I do try to remember every day to make myself present in the moment and the tantrums but in a way that just compounds the desire for another, as you realise how great it is to have a kid, or how much better it would be if there were two playing together.....
Bobsy that does seem an overly harsh reaction from the Dr and probably not what you needed to hear when you are already feeling so down about it all. A weird sort of positive story, my mum started trying for me (after having my siblings) when she was 28, she eventually fell pregnant when she was 37! So the myths about fertility declining post 35 don't seem to apply here! I'm obviously no medical expert but I would think there are still plenty of tests/treatment they can offer you. Or as a diy kit there are lots of things out there that can improve egg quality, have you tried agnus castus or vitex as it's sometimes called? Has anyone ever read this website natural-fertility-info.com? It does tend to try and sell you their products but it does have some interesting info about what is good/bad for fertility.
loves I did have a fun summer with plenty of activities lined up, and in-laws visiting for a whole month, but now that is all over, and I think that is just emphasizing that we are getting closer to Christmas and the end of the year and I'm still not pregnant. I love cross-stitch! I like to knit/crochet so I always have a project on the go, I have just started yoga and am trying to focus on losing weight and eating a wholefoods diet, but it's always a constant isn't it, the one thing you want more than anything in the world you just can't seem to get. and it makes no sense when you have already done it once!
toast I hope evil AF stays away for you.
Arr, sorry for the essay!!

Hello, I'm a long time lurker and was on a thread before called if TTC No 2 has made you crazy...but this is just a message to say it really can happen. No 1 came 3 years ago immediately. This time it has taken 20 cycles! But it has now happened. Very early days, but still, I know exactly how awful it is. But this time last week I was almost wondering if it would have been easier to have been told it could never happen rather than try for years without success because the monthly disappointment was so awful. The next morning - bfp. Best wishes for all.

zippy!!! I was with you on the TTC no 2 crazy thread! Congratulations! That is fantastic news, so happy for you! Love a good success story Would you say you did anything differently the month it worked?

Hello! Have you slightly namechanged ginger?! I wondered if it was you! I loved that thread, it got me through difficult times. Are any of the alumni still about?

Yes, the difference for me was that I was given a progesterone supplement this month! I'd identified (thanks to mumsnet and that thread!) that I seemed to ovulate late a year ago. The GP sorted the blood tests etc at six months but didn't seem to know what to do with them and didnt know about luteal phase problems. I paid to see a consultant and he initially thought the breastfeeding was problematic so I stopped. A few months later I had a tracked cycle, where they scan you throughout the month, and that showed everything looked good except a short luteal phase and low progesterone. So the consultant gave me some progesterone..and it instantly seems to have worked. Very early days but a step forward nonetheless.

Sorry to hear your still trying. But it can happen. And a week ago, I'd lost all faith.

I have had a slight name change yes! occasionally see Sebs name pop up, but no one else. wonder if fedup has had her baby by now....
Did you have any other tests/scans done or just went straight for the consultant? I have an ultrasound scan next week, and hoping for an appointment with gynae soon, but seriously considering booking to go private. Such good news that they found the problem and it has done the trick for you! Ah zippy I am so happy for you! Does show you that it can and does happen eventually. Hope everything goes well for you!

Thanks so much ginger. I went for an ultrasound after 6 months, as well as having the day 3 and day 21 tests. The consultant then ordered a HSG and the tracked scans. All was fine, indeed he said it looked like very good follicle count and FSH levels for my age (34 when starting to ttc no 2, 36 now). But I'd said all along that I had a short luteal phase.

I will be looking out for your bfp. If I can get there after 20 long cycles, nobody should lose hope. Take care.

toast very good point but with what doctor said I feel every month my eggs are getting that bit less in quantity & quality. I should give up completely I know that but can't bring myself to do it & OH says we're not giving up. It really doesn't help that we were only DTD at fertile times, if we could DTD for pleasure without the pressure then maybe there would be hope but I can't relax.

Gingerbread yes it was & it's really got me down. I saw this doc a few months ago & she was a lot more helpful about the TTC. From reading other stories on here I don't feel like my doc is helping at all she wouldn't suggest anything medically or further tests. I've lost all hope but don't feel I can give up as daft as that sounds. OH is completely unsupportive and says I should stop going on about it but yet we haven't had a proper conversation about it. He's not offered me any sympathy he just says we will have another. He walked away from me yesterday because he said I keep repeating myself all I wanted was a proper conversation! I am struggling & I've no one in RL to talk to. That's good for your mum but strange it took so long. I might have a look at that website thanks.

Zippy congratulations that is brilliant news. I too remember feeling it would be easier to be told I'm infertile than to keep trying & going through the monthly disappointment.

I have another problem of how to avoid going out with some work friends when one of them is pg with #2 & got pg first cycle of trying. They want to arrange a meal out in a few weeks & I don't think I can face it, I know I sound awful & I don't mean to be, when she first told us they all just went on about being pregnant & giving birth & I held it together until I got home & burst in to tears. I can't face another night like that.

Congrats Wonky and Zippy, you give us all hope.

I'm really sorry Slightly, I wish I could give you a hug. After a MC you are supposed to be very fertile so I hope it happens again soon.

Bobsy, would you ever consider IVF?

Also hello to the new people joining this thread.

I never thought this thread would have so many posts on it. It's good to know that I'm not alone but I'm sorry you are going through this too. I saw on facebook that someone has just had their 2nd baby and had their first after my DD. Just made me feel really sad. I'm going to push the GP to refer me for scans - I still think I'm having problems due to EMCS scarring etc. At least I'll know one way or the other.

xxxx

P.S.Bobsy, can you say you already have plans for the day they suggest for going out? or at the last minutes say your partner can't look after DC so you can't attend? xx

tattyteddy we can't afford IVF or I would consider it. I feel I'm out of options and may just have to accept it.

This thread has been great for me. I'm used to that now, everyone who had a first same time or after me has had second or even third, now we're starting on the one's 18 months or 2 years after me are pregnant with their second! It's not easy is it. DD said again today she wants a brother and a sister. I feel so guilty but what can I do.

I could do that but they would just want to re-arrange another day and I'd feel bad cancelling last minute. I will have to find an excuse and then hopefully neither of them will be able to make the next few weeks after that. I feel awful doing this and I'm already dreading the work Christmas do.

Had DD's birthday party today which was good and invited our neighbours with their son who's a couple of months younger than DD, only just started to get to know them but good to meet someone same as us with just one DC, I've felt since DD started pre-school that all the other kids had siblings. Oh and at least I could have a few glasses of wine!

Hi all, I hope everyone's had a nice weekend? We took DD to the cinema for the first time today, which was nice - though I think she was more impressed by the pick'n'mix than the film!

Glad your DD had a nice birthday party bobsy and that you managed to enjoy yourself a bit too.

toast I'm assuming the acupuncture lady will treat me whilst we're ttc, she specialises in fertility and pregnancy. I will know more after my first consultation on Thursday, but if she says we can't ttc whilst I'm having treatment then I won't go back.

Good luck with your scan tomorrow ginger, will be thinking of you.

I had my blood test on Friday, then a call from the GP on Saturday to say I need to have it repeated when I think I've ovulated - well d'uh, that's what I've been saying all along! Still no sign of a +opk although I think I've had some ewcm today so maybe I'm finally getting somewhere.

Great thanks Metal hope you did too? Aww sounds lovely, bless her.

Yes I did thanks, took my mind off things for a bit. I really want to get out of feeling so down and start feeling a bit more positive again. I can't talk about it as OH accuses me of causing a row. He just keeps saying that we will have another baby, well I just hope his positivity works.

I asked my doctor about acupuncture and she didn't know anything about it helping with TTC. What exactly is it? I believe needles are involved which wouldn't bother me.

The ewcm sounds hopefully surely you should ovulate any day now, fx it's very soon for you and good luck with the blood tests.

slightly Im so sorry for your loss I hope you are getting lots of RL support.

good luck for your scan today ginger. I would also be interested to see how the acupuncture turns out, I have actually had it whilst I was in labour (I live in Norway) no gas and air available but a trained acupuncturist on the ward!!! It definitely relaxed me a bit but I wouldn't recommend it as pain relief!!

bobsy Im glad you managed to enjoy your DD's birthday but it's shit that your DH isn't being more supportive could it be that he doesn't like to talk about it because he can't fix it? If he is anything like my DH who hates feeling helpless about any situation.

metal hope you get your opk soon, it sounds like your getting lots of attention from your gp though which is good.

Ok so I'm after some advice if you wouldn't mind ladies - I really hope this doesn't seem insensitive. I think I'm having a MMC. I'm on day 9 of AF now, which has never happened to me before it has been much heavier then usual with some very bad/ unusual cramps and I was 2 days late to start with. I guess I'm wondering if you agree that's what it could be or if you guys think it could be something else?

Ah my heads all over the place at the moment forgot to say congrats to zippy

bobsy yes, acupuncture does involve becoming a human pincushion! I've never had it before but have heard it doesn't hurt... I'm quite sceptical about alternative therapies but willing to give it a go, it's supposed to help balance your hormones and increase blood flow to your reproductive organs.

loves I guess it could be a very early miscarriage or just a weird period. Did you get a positive test at all before you came on? If not there's really no way of knowing. Hope you feel better soon.