Anyone got pregnant with no.1 very quickly bit struggling with no.2?

[tattyteddy]

Hello,

Was just wondering whether anybody has had a similar experience?

When trying for first child got pregnant the first month, however that ended in MC. Luckily I got pregnant again with DD after first month of trying again.

DD is now three, we would have started TTC sooner but I went back I Uni and I'm due to finish in November.

We have been trying for 5 months and no luck, worried that I've left it too late as I'm now 37.

Hi all, sorry for silence, IT issues.

Slightly - congratulations!

Bobsy - I am sorry you are having such a crappy week. I get where you are coming from on giving up. If we have no luck this cycle (and frankly I am not optimistic) I will try next time but stop in the run up to Christmas. I'm not wasting my favourite time of year by counting days and prodding boobs. (and actually the acupuncturist says if I am treated by her she wants two cycles with no attempts at conceiving so she can rebalance things. Not unappealing). I will then see what to do, might be nice to focus on living in the present 100%.

Well I've definitely not ov'd, temps still really low this morning. The last time this happened (body gearing up then failing to ov) I ended up with an 80+ day cycle... This, coupled with DD waking me up this morning by talking about babies and being a big sister again, has put me in a really foul mood and I'm about ready to throw in the towel too!

I should get a call from my GP later today, hopefully he'll have something useful to say about this whole mess.

Thanks toast, I know what you mean don't want the disappointment at what should be a happy time. Christmas is also my favourite time of year. I got AF just in time for Christmas last year!

Well I think someone has injected me with some happy hormones in the night because I woke up feeling in a better mood despite AF due today and feeling more positive about things, maybe just having a couple of months off is what I need but I still worry about the age gap and me getting older with each passing month grrr! I had another melt down yesterday and in the end I thought maybe I'm glad I haven't got pg, maybe I don't really want another etc.. just trying to convince myself really!

Oh metal sorry your body is not doing what it should be, 80 days that is a long cycle. That makes it even harder when they start talking about brothers and sisters. My DD does that regularly she even said today she wanted to get a brother and a sister from the baby shop - if only it was that easy.

Chin up hope you get your ov soon and doesn't turn in to a really long cycle for you

Hey metal, sorry to hear about the temps but I hope things will be different for you this time, and that the the gp has something useful to say.

Bobsy I am so pleased you are feeling better. I think we have to try not to fix on the age gap. A friend said to me last week that she was pleased that hers were 22 months apart as they would not remember life without each other. Well there are 4 years between me and my brother and I can't remember life without him. And the gap has never ever seemed big.

I am just beginning week 2 of the interminable tww. A positive is that my boobs are not sore as they have been at this point in the last few cycles. Maybe the b vits are working? Or perhaps the acupuncture. Either way feels more normal, which is good.

I'm just hoping I can carry on feeling this way toast although I'm worried that when AF does turn up I'll go back to feeling rubbish again. She was supposed to arrive this morning so now I'm stupidly building my hopes up! The day isn't even over yet. I just have to keep reminding myself of that one spot that is always a sign that AF will arrive in a couple of days.

I was reading on another thread about age gaps & there were very positive comments about bigger age gaps. The older one can feel more involved & even be able to help a little.

Good luck fx well & truely crossed for you. No sore boobs yet definitely a good sign. I've been taking 'trying for a baby' tablets for the last 3 cycles & they haven't helped. I do believe vitamin B6 is good for TTC & that with the acupuncture could mean you're in with a very good chance.

Thanks bobsy and toast, I'm trying not to stress too much and just write this cycle off, hopefully I will get ov/AF soon. Got my day 21 blood test booked for this Friday and will then see my GP next week to discuss results and what to do next. Not sure what that will be as the result will just show that I haven't ov'd this month, but maybe he can give me something to bring on a period so I can move on.

Any news on AF bobsy?

Good luck with the blood tests Metal and hopefully your GP will be able to give you something to help. It's awful what our bodies do to us!

AF has arrived now I've had another melt down today because I stupidly built my hopes up yesterday!! I'm annoyed with myself because all the signs of AF are here & no signs of pg. I knew she was going to arrive when i woke up feeling hot. i have tried everything I can think of to get pg but nothing has worked. In January it will be 2 years since we started trying. I've got a lot going on these next few days so hopefully I can forget about AF as much as possible.

Ah I'm so sorry bobsy, hope you can keep yourself distracted over the next few days. Remind me, have you had any tests done yet? If not might be worth looking into? I'm starting acupuncture next week and will try taking soy isoflavones next cycle, so will report back if any of that seems to have any beneficial effects!

bobsy I am so sorry about AF, its so hard not to get your hopes isn't it?

toast the desire to live in the present really resonates with me, I have spent the last year thinking I will be pregnant by x, y and z and always waiting for something, ovulation, 2ww, af. I was so happy for the first year of my daughters for all the obvious reasons but also because we were not TTC! I hate this mindset.

metal so sorry about the crazy cycles, do you have PCOS?

Can I just have a little rant? Having some friends over for dinner on Saturday and she emailed me to say she is pregnant with #2, due December. I knew they started trying in March so happened first time. Gah! I am grateful that she emailed rather than just turn up with bump but still. I have not seen her much but I am surprised she did not say anything earlier. just had a little cry at work, pathetic I know!
DH just emailed to say - it will be you soon I am so tempted to reply that well no it won't because you will never shag me at the relevant times but I am so sick of having the same old rows about it!

Waiting for AF here, should arrive tomorrow and I am feeling crampy. Of course did not stop be POAS, bfn, obviously. Can't wait to get on and start treatment!

Sorry ladies, I have the raaaaaage today.

Hi all,

Sorry to those who AF have arrived. I've just started 2 we but only managed to DTD twice albeit according to my monitor it was on a high day and a peak but wanted to ask if any of you have done the sperm meets egg plan??? For me I think I will be knackered, way too much DTD for my liking but if it works I'll give it a go! It says you DTD every other day from day 8 of your cycle, test with OPK tests from day 10 and once you get a positive you DTD 3 days in a row, miss a day and then DTD one more time? You then wait 15 days and test?

I'm usually fairly regular farfalla, certainly the 80-day cycle last year was twice as long as my longest ever one before that. I think it was because I was getting very stressed about ttc at that point, which is why I fear it might be happening again now... Not sure about pcos, I have some of the symptoms but never been diagnosed, but then I've never really had any problems before now.

newbie we've done a sort of smep, adjusted for my longer cycles, but basically dtd every other day until +opk and then 3 days in a row. No success here, but worth a go if you don't usually dtd that often.

My husband would faint if I suggested SMEP, its sounds very sensible though

metal might be worth seeing the GP for PCOS as its easy to treat if that is the cause.

Hello - can I join? I'm 39 1/2, have a 3 1/2 year old boy who only took 2 mths of trying and now have been trying 16 mths for a second and not a snifter. He was 3rd pregnancy (don't ask - not a fun time), and each one was conceived on 2nd cycle. So 16 cycles later, I'm not happy! I was going to join a thread like this about 6 months ago but was convinced I was pregnant that month and didn't want to be all 'hello I'm new' one week and then 'smug bfp' a week later. Needless to say, that never happened.... We've had bloods and stuff and mine all seems fine but dh has high abnormal forms. Also high sperm count so still millions of functional ones, but maybe that's still the problem? That and clearly I'm way too old and why didn't I pop my babies out 15 years ago blah blah blah. Hospital appointment in 3 weeks and I'm going to push for scans after my emergency cs. Apart from that, in the middle of the 2ww but with sore boobs already so not holding out much hope. Phew - long post - sorry. Can I join?!

Thanks farfalla, I will mention it when I see my GP next week. Also meant to say earlier, sorry for your BFN. That's tough about your friend, and bit weird she hasn't mentioned it before. I too had a friend who started ttc #2 at the same time and got pregnant first month - her baby is now 5 months old!

Welcome little, I hope your hospital appointment will bring you some answers (or even better you'll get a BFP before then!).

I had a scan done about 6 months ago Metal and everything was fine, I had blood tests done a few weeks ago and everything was fine. What is soy isoflavones? I'm willing to try anything that might help, although I think acupuncture is quite expensive when I looked in to it.

Yes it is hard not to get your hopes up farfallarocks when you want something so much. I seem to scrutinise every symptom, and I really feel that my body is messing me around.

That must have been really hard for you, it's not pathetic at all I did the same myself when I found out my colleague was pregnant with #2 after only just starting trying and now I have to see her nearly every day, it sounds awful but I can't help how I feel as this is the 21st let down! I'm also with you on that, my OH just the same he keeps saying 'you'll be pregnant soon' and yes of course I will when I have so much difficulty getting him to DTD! He has such a low sex drive and is always tired or he'd rather stay up and watch the TV. Sorry your feeling so down and I know that feeling myself been having major melt downs these last few days. Good luck hope AF stays away for you.

Newbie I printed off that plan but I'd have no chance of getting my OH to stick to that, I have enough trouble getting him to DTD at the fertile time so getting him to DTD that often would cause more stress, shame really.

Welcome Little sorry you've had such a bad time. I'm not so far behind you at 38, and DD apart to turn 4 I got pg with her without actively trying and we've been trying for #2 for 21 cycles now and nothing, I've now tried everything I can think of to help. Good luck.

Thanks guys. Sorry you're all having a rubbish time too though. Just had to google SMEP - it's sort of what we've been doing, but without realising it. bobsy, it must be even tougher when your dh is seemingly so reluctant to join in. Sounds really stressful. In our house, it's me with the low(er) sex drive but I've found recently that really making an effort with eachother when he's not trying to shag me it's not necessarily time to make babies has made the making babies part quite a lot more appealing. It's not that I don't like sex, it's just that I'm knackered and would rather catch up on sleep half the time. Don't know if that works to get men more in the mood as well though, and it'd be tough to do when you're so cross with him about the situation. I'm totally with you on the symptom scrutiny though - have managed to convince myself I'm pregnant most months, which makes it even more of a kick in the teeth when I'm not. Now I've just resorted to not having pregnancy tests in the house - think I'm addicted to poas. If there's a stick in the house I just can't resist. Even when all my supposed symptoms disappear and its clear AF is imminent. Will see how I get on next week and try to avoid a quick trip to stock up at Superdrug

bobsy and farfalla sorry for your AF and BFN. Its impossible not to get your hopes up :( and rant away farfalla that sounds like its going to be had seeing your friend it was nice of her to email you though, hopefully you will be more mentally prepared for it? I'm fed up of being irrationally angry at other pregnant women but it's good to know I'm not the only one who feels like that.

little and metal I hope you get some answers with your appointments.

I set up my CBFM today but I'm on day five of AF and it said I needed to be on day 4 so I fudged the numbers a little hope it doesn't make too much of a difference. I just want to be actively doing something different this month.

Here's to this being our cycle ladies - a little positivity never hurt anyone !!

Yes it is tough & very stressful Little we've had so many arguments about it, he wants #2 as much as I do. We don't really DTD other than at fertile times I feel like I don't want to stress about DTD when it's not right time as its stressful enough when it is right time if that makes sense. Although we did DTD just before fertile window this time & did feel better as it wasn't about making babies. To be honest we were only DTD to have another anyway. Every month i find a reason to convince myself I'm pregnant, it's awful. I'm more or less set now on giving up although OH doesn't want to.

I need a rant today it's DD's 4 th Birthday & I'm not even pg I've had a good cry, obviously not in front of her & zero support of OH. I know I need to pull myself together but really struggling its a major milestone I thought I'd be pregnant by & the next one will be Christmas & that's if I do decide to carry on trying which at the moment I'm still thinking 21 months of trying surely means its never going to happen

I'm not being positive at all loves I know I've even got a book on positive thinking to get pregnant but 2 cycles after getting it & I'm still not pg, I've probably not been as positive as I should have been but I'm scared to get my hopes up.

Hello little poot and welcome to our sad little club!!
I also had 2 mcs before my dd and that was even worse than this but still, I always had the comforting thought that at least getting pregnant was fairly easy, always within 3 months of trying.
Happy birthday to your DD bobsy I really hope you can enjoy the day and try to forget about TTC for a bit. I read a post of fertility friends about a lady who had been trying for 5 years and her daughter was 7 and dhe felt she had 'missed' her early childhood as her mind was always elsewhere. I really don't want to have those regrets if I only have DD and I really try to thank my lucky stars that I am a mother at all as so many struggle to have one. But its so hard isn't it? DD loves babies and her favourite book is one I bought by accident not realising it was about having a baby sister/brother and helping mummy look after it etc!
I do think you should try the docs after almost 2 years of trying no?

I had 2 pregnancy announcements yesterday, very good friends having #2 and #3. Managed not to cry but just felt so bereft, happened instantly for both of them. I can't help being jealous. Saddo that I am.
Still no AF here and BFN again (why do I do this to myself?).
Really annoyed as it means fertile period will now not coincide with the weekend which is the only time I can reliably recruit DH and means I will have to trek to ARGC (ivf clinic) at the weekend to get bloods done for the monitoring cycle. Mother nature can be a right tease!

Totally sympathise with you all and know exactly how you feel. I reckon if I'm not pregnant this cycle I will need to try SMEP so had better conserve my energy!!! X

bobsy happy birthday for your dd. Being positive is bloody hard and most days I'm most definitely not. Sorry I was trying to be ironic because actually it would seem a little positivity (getting our hopes up) does hurt us a little

Oh farfalla two announcements in one day that really really sucks.

Just popping in to say I hope you manage to cheer yourself up and enjoy your DD's birthday bobsy. And just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't necessarily mean it never will, although I know it gets hard with every month that passes to hold on to that hope.

That's tough farfalla, well done for holding it together!

Still nothing here, keep getting strong lines on the opks but no positives. Bah.

After 18mths + of TTC no 2, have had a horrendous 24hrs with my arthritis but unusually without a trigger. Was pondering it as was feeling frustrated at how shit I felt. Idly wondered if I could be pregnant but didn't really believe I could be... Just POAS..... OMG am in shock there is a faint pink line. Will double check in the morning but but but
Just burst into tears as after all the struggles we've had, how I'll I've been without my meds for all this time, we've started infertility treatment, talked about where we go from here, I even sorted out some of the baby clothes to sell this weekend.... I really can't believe it. DH really needs to come home now!

Ahhh wonky that's fantastic news, congratulations!!