Anyone got pregnant with no.1 very quickly bit struggling with no.2?

[tattyteddy]

Hello,

Was just wondering whether anybody has had a similar experience?

When trying for first child got pregnant the first month, however that ended in MC. Luckily I got pregnant again with DD after first month of trying again.

DD is now three, we would have started TTC sooner but I went back I Uni and I'm due to finish in November.

We have been trying for 5 months and no luck, worried that I've left it too late as I'm now 37.

Well AF got me today. Didn't bother POAS as I pretty much knew she was coming. Feeling decidedly more shit about it than I thought I would actually, and I have to stay positive and cheerful all day for DD. I realise how ridiculous that sounds, how lucky I am to have her to actually play with, but I'm sure you all know what I mean! Just want to crawl into bed with a bottle of wine and a good book, but I don't really feel like even wine will fix it anymore. Means I'll have an age gap bigger than 3.5 years now which is not what I had hoped for, and I won't be having another baby before I turn 29. Bobsy I'm not sure I'll ever settle on a decision as to how to think, until the age gap gets so big that we just completely give up trying.
farfall that is brilliant news! Do you mind me asking are you paying for it privately? Really hope you get a miracle before then, a BFP before Christmas would be just amazing!
Hi bonzo sorry you're having to join us on here. It's just baffling isn't it when the first ones comes along so easily. Do you have an appointment date yet for your fertility clinic? I'm hoping to get an appt date through soon to see NHS gynae for further investigations.
Sorry to be a misery today, onto the next cycle I go.....

farfalle how wonderful that you had a good first appointment I hope it all carries on going your way and you never know now the pressure has lifted you may get your bfp sooner!! (have to say I find the people who say if you don't stress about it, it will just happen very annoying so please don't take my comment that way!!)

hello bonzo im just reaching a year now trying for no#2 so I'm glad to hear your story today, maybe it will happen for me?

Oh ginger so sorry, be as bloody miserable as you like it's really crap and unfair. I know exactly what you mean about appreciating your DD and wanting another, the two things are not mutually exclusive. I hope you get an appt date soon so you have something to focus on and possibly an answer.

Sorry Ginger. But you are still very young, at least they won't sigh and tell you that you've left it too late and better get used to the idea of not having another (like a friend of mine was told).

bonzo did you have any help with DC2 as well, or just carried on trying?
I know all the statistics, that even if everything is fine and the deed tone at the right time etc, there's about 30% of chance each month, but I don't really get why this is the case. Come on, if there's an egg and there are the swimmers, why can't they just do what nature intended?

Well said hazle!

Sorry about AF ginger, allow yourself to be sad, angry, pissed off with the injustice of it all, I think we need to let these emotions out or else we'll go nuts! That's how I feel at least. Hope some wine will help at least temporarily x

that's done, obviously, not tone.

I'm so sorry Gingerbread I know exactly how you feel it's awful I'm already dreading next week, it'll make it even worse that its DD's birthday just don't need that disappointment at what should be a happy time, I honestly don't know how i'll cope. At least you have age on your side I'm 38 & DD is about to turn 4 so that should be reason enough for me to give up but can't quite do it. It's always been so important for me to have at least two children as I never wanted a child of mine to be an only one.

hazel No help with DS2. We just kept trying. Actually not 100% true. I had a hissy fit at the CBFM after 7 months and started charting. That got me pregnant . That ended in a mc, after that I starting taking high dose vitamin B6 as my cycles were skewiff, and got pregnant after 4 months. Totally flumoxed about things this time. I know I'm being a bit greedy wanting a 3rd one....It sounds awful, but I actually cannot believe that it's been a whole year. Not even a chemical or a MC in between. Not that I'd want that. What's worse, thinking that you cannot concieve, or knowing you can but thinking you cannot hold on to it? Stupid thing is that I have actually concieved 3 times, and carried 2 (though neither to term, that's another thread that I'm on). And although I love being pregnant, and love new borns, actually my last pregnancy was pretty stressful, I was in and out of hospital, baby came early and was on NICU. I know its a means to an end, but I do contemplate it with some trepidation.

farf are you funding the IVF yourself? We've ruled that out. And clomid as I don't want to risk twins, I'm sure I'm ovulating, and I'm sure the hormones will drive me even more nutty. My marriage would not survive.

ginge no appointment yet. I wonder what they'll do. I really want a hysterscopy, you know where they put dye in you and xray to visualise any blockages. I bet I'm all furred up inside from the CSs. I healed so fast after DS2, i'm sure it's all just randomly stuck together. And anecdotally, a number of women get pg quite fast after one, as it sort of flushes things out.

bonzo, I'm quite the opposite. I don't like being pregnant (even though I hd the easiest pregnancy possible), I don't like newborns. Means to an end, as you say. But I'd gladly take them a year old instead.

loves just remembered you asked if I'll be having any more tests after my scan - this was a private scan, but I'm still waiting to have the day 21 bloods done by my GP. (Or rather it'll be day 30 for me as I've only just a +opk on CD20!).

I'm with you hazle, had a really easy pregnancy with DD but didn't really enjoy any of it, giving birth was the worst experience of my life, and for the first year of her life I spent half my time wishing I could give her back... . I'm definitely not a baby person, I like them much better when they start walking and talking!

Hazle at your friend being told they had left it too late! I can't believe some of the things these Drs say. I do feel like they aren't taking me seriously though because of my age, they just keep saying well you are young and already have one so everything must work, but the fact that I am young and already have one and it hasn't worked suggests to me there is any underlying issue!? Exactly true about nature intended! Sperm meets egg then......nothing? It makes no sense!
Metal you are right, I had a good cry, bought myself some lovely chocolates and am having some cider right now Onwards and upwards hey.....Hurrah for finally getting a +opk! Good luck with the cd21 bloods, what will be next after that do you think?
Bobsy me too, I never wanted to have an only child,I always wanted 4, in fact DH and I used to bad mouth people who chose to have onlies, saying how could they do that, the child would be lonely, spoilt and selfish etc. I sometimes wonder if we are being punished for saying all those horrid things about someones life choices and are only ever going to have the one to prove that not all onlies are spoilt and selfish! Sorry, I'm waffling (cider!) I hope you manage to enjoy DDs birthday, I know just what you mean though, it makes what should be a happy occasion bittersweet, birthdays, family gatherings, milestones as there is always the thought that there should be another baby by now.
bonzo I don't think you are being greedy, if anything all this has taught me that the longing for a baby never goes away no matter how many children you have already. Are you trying the B6 again this time? Or anything else? I'm also really holding out for the hsc, I wonder if my tubes must be blocked or something gone a bit wrong after having DD, it's the final trick I have up my sleeve so hopefully I will get an appt for one in the next couple of months.
I didn't mind pregnancy too much, apart from the uncomfortable-ness and heartburn, but the newborn phase was a big shock, I do love my sleep. I think after wanting a baby for so long now though I do look back on it all through very rose tinted glasses!!

Gingerbread hope the chocs & cider made you feel better. I have had exactly the same thoughts about people choosing to only have one child & now regret being judgemental. I always wanted 3 but I'd be more than happy to just be able to have a second. Sorry if I sounded like your doctor saying that your young & I understand what you're saying, I hope you can get somewhere with your doctor. Thank you, one of DD's friends that's coming to the party & about 6 months younger than DD has a newborn sister & their mum will be bringing them both so that will be hard. Yeh you would think sperm meets egg do should be easy!

Metal I also got my positive OPK on CD20 but my app thinks I ovulated on CD22 because of my temp the one day we didnt DTD!

My blood tests all came back clear but I'm going to make an appointment at the docs to find out where I now go from here.

Well that's me out all it takes is that one small sign that AF is about to show her ugly head!! To say I'm gutted would be an understatement! I've got so angry I through that positive thinking book across my bedroom time it went in the bin I think!! It's going to be more than a week before its all over with. How can life be so cruel (sorry I know people go through worse). This is my 21st cycle of trying. I think it's time to give up now I'm gutted but starting to think its pointless now DD is almost 4, I'm 39 next year.

To make matters worse had a massive row with OH he's just so unsupportive & called my childish for being upset & angry about others getting pregnant so easily!

Sorry for the rant on here ladies but I've no one to talk to

Ladies I finally got a bfp yesterday. 6 months of trying has finally paid off. I really have all my fingers crossed for all of your.journeys and i am sure there will be bfps soon.

Congratulations slightly! I hope you have a healthy pregnancy, and let's hope this kicks off a spate of BFPs on this thread!

bobsy I'm sorry your DH is still being so unsupportive. I think men really don't get it, they can just dtd and that's it for them, whereas we are the ones charting fertile windows, analysing every little twinge and worrying about how to get our men in the right mood at the right time!

My body is being weird again this month. I usually get one just about positive IC opk, followed by a really strong positive the next day or two. So, yesterday got the just positive, thinking today's will be glaringly +ive, but no it was fainter than yesterday and Clearblue says it's negative! So either I've had a very short LH surge this month and ov today, or the surge failed and I won't ov at all! Gah! I guess tomorrow's temp might shed some more light on what's going on.

Congrats slightly, great news x

Congrats slightly! I knew we were due a bfp soon!!

We are indeed self funding ivf, trying not to think about the cost but I am so desperate for this!

Bobsy sorry about af and your dh, they just don't get it do they? Dh has no idea and does not understand my emotional response to af and others bfps! So I now just talk to my friends about it not him!

Af approaching here too I can feel it, did not stop me poas though just for fun! Arctic of course!

Hello everyone, sorry for the no show for a while. Really starting to struggle with doing final bits of uni work and being on placement . Not enough hours in the day.

Welcome to all to those joining the thread and big congrats to you slightly - about time we had a BFP on this thread.

I was feeling quite hopeful this month but have had some spotting so sure AF is on the way again!

I hope everyone else is doing well and lets keep our chins up xx

Congrats Slightly

Hope this is the start of a rush of BFP's for all you ladies on this thread.

For me it's time to give up and accept it's not going to happen! It's a bit embarrassing that I have let it go on for over 20 months and not got the message that it isn't going to happen .

Feeling really down but I know a lot of that is the AF hormones, this is actually the worst timing as well with it being DD's birthday and party this week, I should be happy and I will be but this will cloud it all especially as AF will be in full force by then. If anyone mentions me having another I will probably fall apart! To be honest I don't think anyone thinks we'll have another after this long, there's only my sister and a couple of my friends who knew that we were TTC.

OH hasn't yet agreed to stop TTC, I suggested booking a holiday abroad somewhere for next summer (my consolation prize) but all he could say it 'what if we have another baby by then'. I'm going to try again with the holiday, I've got to find lots of other things to focus on now.

One thing is at least I'll never need to use contraception again.

Wishing you all lots of luck and hope you get your BFP's soon xx

Oh bobsy I'm so sorry you feel like giving up! You're not out yet though this month are you, I thought you've still got a week to go until AF is due? Whatever you decide to do, I think booking a holiday and have something to look forward to is a good idea. And I hope you can enjoy your DD's birthday despite everything else.

Sorry to hear that bobsy. I'm one for believing in Sod's law. As soon as that holiday is booked you'll get a bfp! I hope so anyway for you.

I think taking a break will actually help and not have the dreaded 2ww every month should also mean not putting our lives on hold. I think I'm going to take a little break too, I just feel that I have too much going on at the moment.

I hope you have a lovely time at DD's birthday xx

Congrats slightly

bobsy I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so low I hope your DD's party goes well and you can enjoy it, will be thinking of you it's shit timing for sure.

Well AF got me yesterday and I'm kinda ok, this is cycle 12 and our last chance before DS turns 2 (I know that's not much compared to some of your experiences ladies) which I guess were two milestones I had built up in my head and now I feel strangely relieved, like ok then I'm not going to achieve that so what's next. Who knows but I'm just going to appreciate the fact I feel alright at the moment because who knows how I will feel next week.

Sorry about AF loves, but glad you're feeling ok about it.

My temp was still low this morning so I haven't ov'd yet. The waiting game continues...

thanks metal I think the waiting is the hardest part

I agree loves, waiting is agony!

Today's opk had a pretty strong line again, although not quite a positive. C'mon body, you can do it!

AF is due tomorrow Metal I had that one spot on Sunday afternoon that told me that AF will arrive There is absolutely no reason for me to suspect that I am pg anyway. Thank you, I'm going to try to put it to the back of my mind.

I've noticed my cycles started getting longer, I used the CB digitals as the strip one's never worked for me. Hope you get your positive OPK soon.

Thanks Tattyteddy I wish too, OH won't book a holiday in case we have a baby on the way, the trouble is it's been that long now I can't see that it will ever happen and I've tried just about everything I can think of to help and nothing has. Also we don't really DTD anyway apart from TTC so not much chance of it happening anyway.

Thanks loves worst timing but AF is great at that.

Sorry about AF arrival but glad you're feeling okay, it's good that you think like that. I have been through so many milestones birthdays, weddings, Christmas, I really thought this would be baby #2's First Christmas. I really hope you carry on feeling ok about it. I think it's the disappointment as well as the hormones that make me feel so bad.