Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Barely there brown spotting you say? 2 days after my bfp

Nope! I refuse to slap! Symptom spot away!

Ok so lil I think you were right - my luteal phase of 10/11 days this time is definitely on the short side. B6 starting tomorrow! Has anyone tried it?

tabby we can't possibly give you a hooya in these circumstances! This is the bit where we all chant POAS POAMFstiiiiiick!

lady pant snit sits on toilet roll whilst man goo will be absorbed. that's the only way I can tell the difference.

la fuck shit bollocks wank arse. sorry she got you. I hope my trying to keep you grounded softened the blow at least a tiny bit. definitely give the b6 a go. I've heard of ppl using agnus cactus too but I've always had 14/15day lp so not done too much research into it. perhaps Dr goofle and his bow tie can help. at least you're getting answers though.

Ahhh feck lala

The time I think I got upduffed, I had a wee moment with my buzzy friend after DTD as I'd read about the hoovering. Will definitely try it again

ooooo, sounds good tabby. Fingers crossed for you!

So sorry La That's really crappy. Hopefully your cbfm will come into it's own this cycle so you can get your bfp.

I am completely naive about vibrators - I've never used one! I feel like I'm totally missing out now. Had a sneaky peak at the WeVibe and am completely in awe...I had no idea such a thing existed. Feel a bit embarrassed but intrigued!

I know a guy who got a cock ring stuck halfway on and had to have an operation to remove part of his todger to get it off! Horrific!

The wine bottle story actually made my foof contract in horror

That's weird! Wouldn't you just cut the cock ring?

Vibrators are quite funny to use when you're pregnant. Your womb goes all hard when you have a contraction (which you do when you orgasm) - was quite a weird sensation. Am I going to hell for admitting I did that when pregnant?

so apparently I missed a page (or 20) whilst I had my cape on! I was talking to some of the girls on my DiD fb group from when I was pregnant with DD and realised that the witch was 5 days late, three tests later (two my hubby doesn't know about, I was too damned inpatient to wait for him to get home at 9pm) I am apparently a bit pregnant confused face

Amazing news Luna! Congratulations!!!

Congratulations Luna!

Congratulations Luna!!

POAS tabby

Does anyone have any experience about exercise when ttc/ early pregnancy? Will I be ruining any chances of conceiving by carrying on exercise? It's quite intense (insanity). I remember when I was pg with DD I was allowed to carry on with the horses so that's safe(ish). I'm just not sure about anything else?

Congrats Luna!

lauren I think it's recommended that as long as your body is used to that level of exercise then it's very good for you to keep going. I think it would be more of an issue if you started something like insanity for the first time whilst pg as you'd be pushing your body to do something it's not used to. You could check with doctor though?

Other sports like riding with risk of falling it's up to you but I personally will stop riding if I get upduffed, as it don't think it's worth the risk.

Doh! Just realised you were talking about ttc. Again if you're fit and healthy I don't see why not but perhaps speak to doctor? I went to doc before starting ttc to get health check and make sure everything was ok and asked those sort of questions then.

Ah that's good to know I might make an appointment when I had DD they did say about the risk of falling etc but I have 5 horses and 2 of them are competition horses that need to be kept fit. I stopped competing and just did flat work and hacking until about 7months pregnant and only on my horses that I know inside out (I know they're always unpredictable)

I think if my horse was a bit more experienced I would keep riding, but he's quite green even though he's 11 as he was started at 6 and schooled from 9. I do trust him but he can have the odd silly spooky moment still so I'd not ride him if pg. I went to see him in his loan home and he'd just tanked off with the girl, oops!

I think being fit and healthy can only be good for pregnancy. I'm going to struggle to keep weight down now I don't have my horse so I'm going to start step and body combat.

5 horses, a dd and doing insanity!? How the heck do you have the time/energy!?

I miss my horse

Wonderful news luna huge congrats!

lauren hats off for doing insanity. I have shredded daily for 18 months now and the inch loss is amazing. I can fit into kids clothes in asda now. I wear their school skirts for work and their awesome pjs. Would you recommend insanity?

Congrats Luna!

Lala is there anyone around needing help with their horse so you can keep it going? I've been inundated since my horse was injured and have more horses to ride than I have time for!

could yes :) I'm inundated with folk wanting me to ride their horse but I have resisted so far as I wanted a break. Looking after my mates lovely horse next week so will be back in saddle.

gaggia is that Jillian Michaels? I loved 30 day shred

Thanks Viorids, I guess I should go introduce myself on the Grads fred!

I phoned the doctors today expecting them to demand a pee sample, produced before 8am, brought to them by 10am after drinking nothing but water so it could be tested by the receptionist, the nurse and the doctor, but the receptionist just booked me in with the midwife at the end of the month and told me to grab a pregnancy pack before my appointment. Possibly the most efficient and non-judgemental they've ever been!

Ha yeah the doctor will do absolutely nothing luna!

What is insanity lauren? I think exercise probably helps ttc (although not based on any real evidence). It worked for me first time round anyway and then I found pg pretty easy as was in good shape. And yeah the general rule in pregnancy is 'don't take up anything new' so you should be able to keep doing what you do. (If your pelvic floor can take it ). However because you're more flexible etc in pg, you do have to be a bit more careful as it's easy to overdo things and get an injury.

Gaggia it gets results but it is really hard and I got bored quickly so I mix it up with the P90X workouts and shred and sometimes blogilates these days. Shaun T is hot though so I just pretend he isn't gay and is judging me. That makes me work harder ha it's not good for your knees though if you've got dodgy knees already you'll feel it quite quickly!

La my mum helps with mucking out and DD rides the smaller ones, they're actually hers but I end up riding them too to keep them listening. I actually have to conceive first I'm just getting ahead of myself

My gym is launching insanity classes and I am very excited! Currently do kettlercise and spin 4 x week and like you I do worry about the luteual phase while I'm slogging my tits off!

Congratulations luna!

I was doing 30 day shred this month and loving it - stopped at the weekend jus tin case I'm pg because of all the jumping jacks and crunches but tbh if I did get pg I'd be tempted to modify those exercises and carry on I'm going to feel like such a doughnut when AF comes and I realise I've missed a week of shred for nothing

Peru! I forgot to say congrats to Luna!!!

Peru?? That's sorry!!!