Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

We have one of those WeVibe ones.. not sure if it gets in the way of all the little dudes, but it's gooood....

Just keep talking loudly about all the soup you're making La and the neighbours will mistake it for a blender. Not sure why you'd be making soup in your bedroom though...

We got a vibrating cock ring from pound land it was fine. Jolly good value really but it wasn't powerful enough really.

Im off to google WeVibe.

I've got about seven in different sizes and shapes bit of a vibrator addict.

Helps things along a bit!

Unfortunately I'm not sure 10 at night is believable for soup making but electric toothbrush perhaps?

Well it's all got a bit steamy in here must be all of that soup

lala I agree! My epilator actually sounds exactly the same as one of my vibes. (if I ever need to stealthily ahem, self service)
I've got quite a few too, thankfully OH is totally fine with it and refers to the big black bag I've got full of them as my 'Buck rogers sex kit' I do tend to favour one more than the others. I read that if you use them after he's deposited the troops, the way your lady parts contract when you orgasm, vacuums them up, up and away into the right place......

So if you ever needed an excuse to go on a lovehoney spree, TTC is gold, I think!

Thread reported.

FILTH!

;)

Hahahaha Kato

Ooh sorry! Did I bring the tone down? We should probably go back to talking about wank badgers and flange wankers

My DH is looking at my like I'm mad, because I'm snorting at the screen...

Oh, and I found a girls name that I quite like. I really should write it down in case I forget it again (which happens to me all the time). Hopefully DH will like it as well. And now you need to give me a hooya, as I'm not even upduffed so no reason to pick out a name!

Exciting times Chat - hope you're feeling ok x

Hooray on the house move tee ... hope the neighbours won't shun you for lowering the tone of the place

That's a lovely idea Purple - Plus I think some stress free jsing for the hell of it sounds like just what the doctor ordered . Hugs xx

La what is the witch playing at!! Did you just get the one test yday? Dare we say implantation bleed......?

Totally lol-ing at your neighbours too... "God that woman next door is always bloody brushing her teeth!" HA! I feel like a bit of a buzzy novice... only got one and its tiny! Does the trick solo or avec Mr P though We sometimes get pretty noisy... not a great idea in a mid terrace. But our neighbours have 5
kids so they must have done plenty of jsing in their time!

I keep wanting to join this thread but it moves too fast for me!

I call my vibrates pink [dp's name]. As so far each one I've had is pink.

Not sure I'd want to use one after dtd to make sure the soldiers meet the egg, purely because at some point I will have to tell our future child that mummy bought about his/her creation with an impressive pink vibrator.

I'll be honest, it could have been better timed! Sat on my tod with a takeaway pizza on the way and nothing but the computer and a large glass of wine between me and the moving van. At least they didn't take my bed yet! I'm looking forward to living in the same country as DH again, it's been a while.

WeVibe, ay...? Must investigate. The next Fred title is writing itself - tents, snakes, toothbrushes...

The hibiscus sounds lovely purple, and exactly the right colour. Enjoy wearing the disco pants with no pressure

Now then teejay I've looked into this WeVibe thing. I don't get it. Does your DHs awesome penis go in as well as the vibe? Is it not a bit of a tight squeeze?
Im still getting one.

Whuuuuuuut???

Soup?! What kind of weird sex talk goes on at chez Wil? Oh yeah baby that oxtail's so good. Ooh pea and ham, ooh minestrone... MULLIGATAWNY!!

My first was called Rex. Retired from active duty now but still kept as a memento.

Good luck with the move Chat and enjoy the congrats on the move Tee ! Lady no child ever wants to know the circumstances of their conception....!

If the love honey site crashes this evening it will surely be all the JSers googling about this wevibe thing. Which on googling I have come to the conclusion that it needs a fuller explanation, it really fits in with the erm...awesome penis?!

AIBU to put a we-vibe on my Christmas list? My mum never knows what to get for me.

Haha, I seem to have gotten away with my naming nonsense without getting a hooya!

I have an electric friend that is black and gold and not too noisy.

fear not fatty in comes the hooya giver! stop. picking. names!

la I am praying for ib for you, but if it is the witch what would that make your lp? 10/11days? If so you may want to take b6 to try lengthen it.

chat good luck with the move. I don't think I could do living abroad. but then I couldn't do living in a separate country to dh either!

congrats on the move tee

lady don't try to keep up when it moves fast, just dip in when u can. we don't judge.

kato lol at reporting the thread. think that's about 20 threads overdue!

hi to anyone I've missed.

lildottie, you didn't have to slap me quite so hard! Now I'm sore... I'm going to get the DH to kiss it better!

chat, what part of Belgium are you moving to?

Teejay I've heard that too about a vacuuming fanjo!!

Orgasming wooshes them swimmers right up where they need to be

We will have to be careful otherwise we will get another article written about us ha ha.

fatty the question is where are you going to get OH to kiss you?

fnar fnar

Well, if I rephrase what happened, I will just tell him my hooya got slapped and he can figure out what my hooya is.