Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

la have you got a spare stick to get with the full moon unicorn tomorrow?

Anything's worth a try popz.

Scientific experiment to see if peeing on snakes makes you pregnant? Anyone?

Hello... Can I join? :) started TTC number 3 last month... Month 1 was not successful so onwards and upwards!

Welcome sleeping !

lauren tell me about forbidden corner? Its not far from us we were thinking of going soon.

Booooooooo to the witch and hugs to the visitees.

Lots of luck to the twotters. Im twotting too.

I have thrush I'm guessing my fanjo is too unfriendly to get upduffed.

hi sleeping

LA how old are you?!? poobumwilly pants!! just be done with it and say "oh for fucks sake you toss potting wank badger"

Had my 21 day blood result...said "Ovulation likely". That's fabulous, but wtaf does likely mean?

Don't listen to her La she's a bigfatsmellypoopoohead

What was the number Ayles?

wilma please don't pee on snakes! I have 2 as pets and they're very nice .

Hi sleeping

wil I'm not sure I'm quite that desperate yet...

Lauren / gaggia what's forbidden corner? Sounds a bit... Blair witch project

duck I like your style, the witch is a toss potting wank badger.

pregnant viroids, can I ask a personal question about cm in very early pregnancy? Looking back, do you think anything was different from other cycles before the witch came?

ayles wank badger may be my favourite phrase ever!

And tabby I cant say I noticed any difference myself, but I know some people do... So a helpfully nondescript answer there from me, sorry!

Just popping in to say that we had an outdoor shag over the weekend. A bit like teenagers, but with more endurance.

Sigh you bunch are no fun.

Tabby I continued to have EWCM after ovulation. Maybe got a day or two break after ov and then it came back. So naturally I freaked out that I hadn't ovulated yet after all and was mad that we'd stopped JSing.

Nice one fatty ! Details please!

tabby forbidden corner is I think a gothic garden with creepy bits for kids. Sounds shit when I describe it. Google it, its in Leyburn I think. I would like it but maybe a bit scary for my DD shes only 3.

Tabby - I never really had much ewcm before. Seem to have about 5000% more discharge (sorry gross word) since being pg... it started pretty quickly as well I think. I'd often be rushing off to the loo in the early days cos it just dripped out (sorry) and I'd think it was going to be blood!

Sorry!!

Ooh fatty tell us more... I haven't had an outdoor shag since I was about 19 Let us live vicariously through you

Tabby I can't be sure when I iced but a couple of days after the predicted date, I had a tonne of thick EWCM like discharge - it was like clear hair gel in consistency and streaky. I assumed that was icing but maybe not.

you lot are mental!

la I'm sending you a mahoosive hooya. 9dpo is far too early you donut. you know this. and I'm going to being you down to earth now so apologies for pissing on your fire or snake ? I had a couple of cycles where I spotted pre AF. it meant sweet buggery fuck all. fx you prove me wrong, but try and stay sane lovely.

Fatty - not done that for years, think a bit of nostalgia al fresco sex is required! Now just to think of the perfect place...

Hi viroids!

Laughing at peeing on snakes I might give that one a miss...

I'm still waiting for the cycle-of-not-trying to be over. Although it is nice not to obsess over every little twinge for a month actually!

Hugs to all the witch has visited

La I'm keeping fingers tightly crossed that the witch stays away.

Hello sleeping hope the next cycle is successful for you

wank badger is the best phrase I've heard in ages!!

And hi Sleeping

All this talk of snake piss has given me proper tears of laughter!

Clearly this is the Fred for alfresco shagging

La. Hooya.

And yes, pants were all granny and no disco the amount of discharge produced in each of my pregnancies. Ick.

All right then.

We shared a bike home in the middle of the night. He rode the bike, I was on the back. I snaked my hand around his waist and slowly it travelled lower and lower... Let's just say that riding the bike became a bit difficult for him after a while. We were on a pitch dark road through some fields, so he decided to stop and take me into one of the fields. But where teens usually don't last for more than a few minutes, we had more endurance and were there for a good long time.

Flange badger?

Fanjo wanker?

Snake waterer?

Poobumwillypants was code for wank badger.

gaggiA phone wants to autocorrect you to haggis too much JSIng?

Hi sleeping welcome to the jungle!

lil you were too late, I needed that hooya much much earlier to stop me bring a twat and testing. Now the witch is starting to set up camp and it's all because I tempted law of frigging sod with frer.

I jsed in a park once. I was rumbled by my mates in car - headlights shone off my white pasty bum as I tried to escape.

duck ovulation likely!? Any chance they'll give you an eta?

popz sloppy discharge picture made me feel a bit like the day gaggias dh phlegmed in her mouth...

Just read that post back. Nuts.

Which park lala? might make a plaque and mark the spot for you