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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

999 replies

ZylaB · 10/07/2014 20:03

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
ChatEnOeuf · 04/08/2014 10:24

Kato you should try for all of those this month, they're important!

Genius, Dulcet - even better that he will appreciate it Grin

Keeping my fingers crossed for you La.

Lauren, I take the TWOT to be between icing day and POAS day.

KatoPotato · 04/08/2014 10:35

I know! I couldn't believe I've missed them, even a non contrabander should know this!

thankfully they fall on weekends next cycle, which seems to be prime shagging time.

Lala5 · 04/08/2014 10:58

kato definitely don't give up on piss by post, it's far too entertaining for the rest of us!

Witch has gone away again - perhaps she will return with a vengeance later.

Fx for all of us tabby and kato.

lauren twot starts from icing day so sounds like you're twotting with us. Not out til the fat witch flies in on her tamponesque broomstick.

I'm in such a raging bad mood now - frigging ttc can frigging frig off!

Pisghetti · 04/08/2014 14:05

Lala absolutely every bendy body part crossed that AF shits off and leaves you alone!

Kato sounds like a masterplan!

Bad luck Ayles possibly a bit early for Wine but I wouldn't judge if you did

Lala5 · 04/08/2014 15:49

Bloody mind tricksy stupid body - have had spotting on Friday 7dpo then today 9dpo. No other signs of witch.

Mind gone into overdrive, I'm the most unproductive I've ever been. I don't know which day af is due officially as cycles have been 30-39 days randomly for the last 4 months, so no idea when to POAS.

I've never had spotting before af before. Someone hooyah me quickly and make it a good one!

Got tight chest and pains under arms but I'm putting that down to stress.

kato do you get paid for pissbypost? I can't remember. If nothing this month I might see if I can do it...

Should I buy frer at supermarket on way home or is it too early?

Lala5 · 04/08/2014 15:51

kato I love the dedication to fake tan! Grin Made me chuckle at work thank u

aylesburyduck · 04/08/2014 17:03

Haven't succumbed to the wine yet but I did kick out of work early.

Apparently I look like shit yeah, thanks for that then

I shall clean the kitchen and then hit the sofa with yummy choc!

LA...buy the frer!!

TabbyTurmoil · 04/08/2014 17:08

lala 9 dpo probably too early?

Keeping everything crossed for you (and kato

TabbyTurmoil · 04/08/2014 17:10

Stupid phone. And kato too.

I'm 17 or 18 dpo according to my asp - no naughty contraband this month. Could do with a massive hooya - - before I spend any more time in the ladies ogling my own

TabbyTurmoil · 04/08/2014 17:10

Stupid phone. And kato too.

I'm 17 or 18 dpo according to my asp - no naughty contraband this month. Could do with a massive hooya - - before I spend any more time in the ladies ogling my

TabbyTurmoil · 04/08/2014 17:10

Stupid phone. And kato too.

I'm 17 or 18 dpo according to my asp - no naughty contraband this month. Could do with a massive hooya before I spend any more time in the ladies ogling my gusset

TabbyTurmoil · 04/08/2014 17:11

I give up. My gusset.

That should be app not asp... POAS = pee on a snake?

KatoPotato · 04/08/2014 17:14

Oh Tabby! You did make me laugh!! Lots of extra crossing for me then?? (chuffed)

Lala5 · 04/08/2014 17:19

Haaaa ha ha ha!!! Just snorted laughing at that outside tesco Grin lots of funny looks.

TabbyTurmoil · 04/08/2014 17:24

I think my phone needs a hooya...

Pisghetti · 04/08/2014 17:30

Hahaha! DP has a snake - I don't think it'd be very happy if I peed on it.

RPopz · 04/08/2014 17:43

BUY THE FRER La!! Grin

wilmabedrock · 04/08/2014 17:50

Is that a euphemism Pis?

Pisghetti · 04/08/2014 18:08

I wouldn't pee on his snake or his 'snake'! Mind you if either could have told me how many days DPO I was, I'd have considered it. I have this image of Tabby now as a Cleopatra type.

Sooooo what were you doing in Tesco La....?

laurenamium · 04/08/2014 18:23

Just laughing at pis DP having a 'snake' Grin my TWOT starts today then! AF due on the 18th so 2 weeks today!

I've ordered a load of cheap tests off amazon too. But I won't use them unless I'm actually late...probably Wink

Lala5 · 04/08/2014 18:26

Don't pee on THAT snake tabby!

...or do if that's what you're into perhaps???

Grin

I'm an idiot - I bought, I POAS, it was a big fat frig of a failure bfn. Poobumwillypants.

Lala5 · 04/08/2014 18:27

Oops I meant pis

Lala5 · 04/08/2014 18:28

Or anyone - I'm not judging... You all feel free to pee on whatever floats your boat!

RPopz · 04/08/2014 18:36

Might still be to early La ? Told you to wait!! Hmm Haha!

Lol at snake peeing... pretty sure that's not how you make babies Wink

Lala5 · 04/08/2014 18:40

Ms Bad Influence popz Wink