Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Sorry ayles, go crazy for what remains of the weekend! It's horrible. Fingers crossed next month is yours. [Thanks]

AF just arrived for me too - surprisingly early! Bring on the merlot!

Hi viroids,

How are you chat? I was thinking about you today - hope everything went ok.

duck so sorry :( stupid witch, she's a right moo.

lil camping with mum sounds like fun, although yes frustrating that you iced over the camping trip.

Am I not meant to eat stilton or brie when ttc? God I'm totally crap at this, I had quite a bit of wine yesterday too as we were at a family party. I've been so good with the not drinking all month, but we were at a housewarming and I was fed up because I thought well what if yet again it's not worked this month? I'm so angry with myself now though!

I'm waiting for either af or testing now. I had some spotting on Friday morning and I'm a bit crampy so I'm gearing up for it to be af :(

Sorry chat when I say 'went ok' I mean I hope you are ok. Damn head not connecting with fingers as I'm tired :( I really hope you're ok x

Oh duck, how frustrating! At least the guessing is over but boooo to AF!

Still in with a slight chance for you then lil, fx however slim. How was camping in the stupidly hot tent? At least I shine it to be stupidly hot! Lol.

Hang on lil if you iced on Saturday and dtd Thursday you totally still are in with a chance! Fx

Lala I think you just have to avoid soft cheeses when pg because you can get food poisoning from them (listeria?) which can be fatal for baby. Shouldn't have any impact on ttc. Also, think it must be pretty rare for someone to get sick from it.

Sorry for everyone who has the witch visiting .

Aaaaah! Now I feel a bit better :) thanks wil

I am okay just a bit miffed to be honest. I was expecting it but not expecting it if that makes sense.

The cheese and wine and fags and chocolate have helped because now the witch is here she making her presence felt.

I just want mr duck to have one period just so he knows how crap they are!

xx

:( duck whatever helps but its crap that she's being even more witchy than usual.

I know - I wish the guys would have even just one day trying to work with period cramps and severe acne, then they might understand.

Enjoy your wine xx

Kick him in the balls? When Mr Rpopz used to manhandled my boobs at their sensitive witchy time... I would threaten a good ball kicking to demonstrate how tender they felt He usually backed off shortly after!

Enjoy your treats Duck xxx

Oh Duck that sucks, she's so inconsiderate. Enjoy the wine, cheese and goodies.

Today went ok thanks viroids; purple I'm glad there are some things making you smile.

My best buddy had her baby over the weekend (donor egg IVF, a really strived-for pregnancy), hoping to go have a squishy newborn cuddle later this week. Onwards!

yeah still totally feasible la but on the basis it's not worked doing every day over icing for 21 months it'd be a miracle. dhs sperm are so lazy. although I have to say since cutting out the caffeine his sex drive has increased.

dulcet camping was fun, and we were lucky with the weather. tent was too hot by 8am a couple of mornings so no lie ins! glad to be back in my own bed though!

Well there's always hope lil,
I do like camping, especially in the summer and festivalling etc, but that morning wake up in a sweaty tent - eurgh!!

Onwards chat, always onwards! Glad today went well. Hoping fora quick recovery for you.

I advocate the passing of at least one AF per year to the DH. See how they fucking like it! He can have this one for sure. On an almost completely unrelated note, thinking of getting him a skydive for his birthday - does it send the wrong message to get him to jump out of a plane?

Haha Dulcet! That's a great present if you know he'll like it.

Pmsl @ dulcet

"Happy birthday darling, please jump out of a plane"

Do it dulcet! Brilliant!

Just marking place, been away and not caught up on posts properly. Should be icing week for me this week going by dates so cape on...

Sorry to hear your bad news chat

Oh he defo wants to do it. I think I'm sold! How I pitch it when I give it to him will be down to how well he behaves the week before!

Spotting - I think af might be here

Gutted.

Haha... Will you do it too tho Dulce?? Sounds like a great idea if he's an intrepid soul

Oh La - hoping its not the witch xxx

Ooh yes! You should invoke law of sod by booking yourself on too!

See - I didn't book glasto tix thinking is be pg by then. Not pg. If I'd booked them law of sod would definitely have stepped in and sperminated me!

lala we can be witch buddies, I've been waiting for the axe to fall since had a bit of spotting on weds but think she's coming for me today.

dulcet you sound like an intrepid pair, how was your trip to the states?

duck sounds like you found the right prescription for witchy pains, hope she naffs off soon.

chat good to hear that you were ok yesterday, enjoy the baby squishes.

Hey everyone! Me, DP and DD are off to forbidden corner today on a little family day out

Sorry for everyone with the witch

When does the TWOT begin? The week before AF is due or the week AF is due?

Morning viroids.

Hope you're doing okay chat

ayles have a stinky fag for me, I'm sorry the witch is so bloody supermarket sensitive, she did that to me two cycles ago after I popped a FRER into my asda basket!

AF due Friday, think I missed my window, icing due on CD 15 but vanity prevailed and I went for a pre-holiday spray tan meaning that I had to avoid contact and sweaty situations - and of course DH didn't want to go near me in my comedy grubby state.

Anticipating AF, I'm going to attempt the piss by post next cycle, I emailed them and that's okay. Also did a bit of nerdy maths and since ttc We've never dtd on CD 10, 11 or 12 or 15,16,17. So that's my project for August!