Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I was wondering whether you'd understand it - clearly no problem

POAMFS I laughed out loud too!

Morning viroids so the twot is killing me - I'm starting to panic that we might not have managed it this month.

Popz do I remember rightly that you hadn't jsed on day of icing but still got upduffed from days before?

I desperately want this to be our month

You do indeed La I did 3 or 4 "high" days before - missed the first "peak" (stupid work!) and did the morning after Everything crossed for you xx

POAMFS! Love it

Think it's sinking in...not sure I'll really believe it until 12/40, too anxious to really trust anything until then.

Fingers crossed La

popz 3 days before or every day for 3 days before? Mr La was on double shifts tues wed thurs so couldn't dtd then, I iced on fri which was when he had his failure to launch in morn, got cape on that eve.

I really need to go and find something to do for the next week, I'm driving myself mad let alone anyone else

Do you get the 'peak' at icing or shortly before? If shortly before, then your Friday evening cape action would have been well timed. Symptom spotting suggested I iced on a Tuesday. We'd done the deed on Sunday morning and then didn't see each other again until Thursday.

I'm really confused as to what's going on with my body had AF last week, coil out Monday. Had a really heavy bleed yesterday which I thought was another AF following coil, but it only lasted a few hours and has totally stopped again now! Ill get the cape on tonight incase...

Icing? Cape? I have not pissed yet. Too nervous to do it without DH and i wanted to concentrate at work. But going out for drinks tonight so had better just in case.

Argh! My phone is more open than me it seems! I typed p o a s ed.

The first thread explains all the lingo Bertie much of which we have courtesy of autocorrect! Icing - ovulation, cape - metaphorical outfit when planning to pounce on DH/DP

Sorry opening message not thread dons dunce hat

just a quickie, busy at work but CONGRATS chat - that's amazing news. how exciting. CD5 here but me and DP are knackered - DS has been up and down in the night for a coupla weeks with a mean cough and it's exhausting. Got to get the energy up for shagging somehow. blurgh.

Think we managed to do every high day... can't remember how many there were now (and have deleted my app....) Missed peak. And then did my second peak day. Your Friday one might have done it! Before icing is better I think.

Don't forget your disco pants as well as your cape! We have kato to thank for that one. Kato are you lurking? You've not been on for ages!

la can you

I think I might sidle over here, I recently jumped on the first time TTC bus and am feeling a bit overwhelmed by thermometers and OPKs and people who actually have a regular cycle and count it. It's a whole world of stuff I never knew existed.

One positive is that since coming off the pill I am ridiculously toey, so I guess JS is the thread for me - may as well have some fun with this, no? As it is, I'm sat in my nice knickers waiting for DH to come home. Poor man doesn't know what's hit him.

Evening viroids! How's everyone?

Thanks for answering my question popz I am remaining hopeful!

pis I thought peak means icing? Does it not? I think it was either Fri or Sat in which case we dtd Fri night and then on Sun morning. Boom!

lauren is it possible your cycle just needs a bit of time to adjust after coil? Probably in a month it'll be a lot less confusing. Fx x

Bertie you'll soon get the hang of the lingo. Autocorrect cracks me up - still loving the rim brush (Irn Bru)

splodge get a fan in the bedroom and it'll cool you down so you'll have more shagging energy!

Hey glitter welcome! Toey? I'm trying to work out what that's autocorrect for...? Are the knickers disco pants?

Sorry ''tis an Australianism. I lapse sometimes and forget how to speak proper. It means 'frisky' ;)

and hell yes they are disco pants!

No probs I was almost tempted to get my old phone out to answer your question properly haha! Peak does mean icing but by the time you get your first "peak" you've probably already iced... which means your real peak day is actually your last "high" day iyswim - as its better to have the swimmers up there waiting. The second peak day is not really a peak day at all... tho obvs a quick js can't hurt. Have you read The Impatient Women's Guide to getting Pregnant? She explains it quite well in there. Tho generally it's a pretty crappy book x

Also welcome new ladies x

:( oh no! That means I iced the day before (Thurs) and we hadn't done it for 3 days. Boooooo...

Welcome Glitter, toey is an excellent word, definately added to my vocab!
RPopz - that gives me some form of hope for this month - not been using contraband but missed what I'm guessing was icing day, but got in there just before.

Is it Toey like toe-ee or two-ee?

Not necessarily the day before La - could've just been hours before. So the egg was in all likelihood still around on Friday eve and you're def in with a chance. If you'd left it til Saturday night I'd say you'd probably have missed it as the second "peak" day it gives you is just automatic.

This is why the book helped me I think, according to her its better to have the sperm waiting to meet the egg and so concentrating on the high days is better than pinning all your hopes on the peak days - assuming you don't just have an unhelpful month where everyday is a high day... I was still royally pissed off when I missed my peak day regardless!!

Try not to stress my lovely. If it's making life harder then it's not worth the hassle xx