Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Congratulations chat! Twins!!

Welcome rm

Baby shower games I have played are similar to the chocolate nappies. Although in these ones were things like marmite/ chocolate moose/ chocolate spread/ gravy/ curry sauce etc

Another lovely game was a "guess the baby size/ weight/ name" where everyone had a luggage tag. They wrote their name on one side and guessed the baby weight/ due date/ name etc on the other. And all of the tags went on a string for the mother to keep!

Got my cloak on last night but DP is at kick boxing tonight so I've hung it up for the night!

Laurent those games sound RANK!!! I think I would vom

Amazing news Chat!!! Congratulations!

Twins chat twiiiiiiiiiiins! Waaaaaaaaaaa that's fucking fabulous news! Really lovely to hear that all is well.

I vaguely remember foodstuffs in nappies at NCT classes with DS. IT was all educational though because they told us all what kind of foodstuff-resembling poo you get at each stage.

Food stuff resembling poo not for fun?! I think that would put me off the food if I was being told that was the colour/ consistency of a stage of a babies pooing cycle (or whatever it would be called)

Chat - bloody awesome news

Worst baby shower game; pulling baby/preganancy related things out of a hatband having to act it out to a team... I got damned labour AND it was a religous person's shower so I had no wine to help me through

God organised fun is hideous.

But also hilariously awful...

Who's next to test by the way? I'm due af/bfp tues/wed ish

I am officially put off baby showers for life!

You've all made me chuckle today
I was conceived in a tent on the Isle of Wight!
Maybe that's why I hate camping

Duck that made me properly laugh

Patiently that sounds awful! I would need wine.

Good luck Twotters, the rest of you keep your capes/cloaks on!

purplecircle I was conceived in a caravan in Wimbourne, but I actually quite like camping.....

I've just started a really heavy and in unscheduled ERTD. I'm guessing this is my AF after having the coil taken out. The doctor said it might come, and it's good that its happened sooner rather than not at all or taking months. But I want to start officially putting my cape on! I thought Monday was official first cape but apparently not

I was conceived in a caravan too! In France apparently.
What a lot of camping conceptions, I'm taking this as a good sign, I'm gonna make me a tent baby!!

We camped in the garden when it was really hot last year, but OH complained that it was hot and uncomfortable. It's not unreasonable to get him to put up the tent just for having it off is it?!

tee pitch that tent!

Were off on a caravan holiday in October I wouldn't mind getting preg then. I sort of don't want to get preg before then, here is my deeply profound reasoning........my new bikini! I want to look fabulous in it on holidays.

Good reason to not worry about not getting pregnant no?

As much fun as it sounds, there is absolutely no chance of a cape-in-tent scenario for me. DH hates camping :(

Lala I'm a day or two behind you (I think) but things may be a little bit mucked up this month as this would be my first AF after my early mc - so I'm trying to tell myself not to get excited if AF doesn't appear on time I'll totally get over excited anyway

I need to POAS if AF doesn't turn up soon. 5 days late so far but hoping that's because it's my first cycle being off the pill. Horrendous cramps today so fingers crossed.

I would of course be thrilled if the stick says yes... but it wouldn't be ideal, dating the pregnancy for one.

Plus the test I have in the cupboard is use by 07/14! So clearly I just have to use it tonight or tomorrow, or it's a waste! totally not going to trust the result either way

Haha Bertie POAS!

Oh lauren how rude.

Tee I see no good reason for him to argue?

Bertie POAS!

POAS BERTIE!

I love the idea of being conceived in a tent or a caravan. I've no idea where I was conceived - perhaps in a boring old bed, boo!

chat has it sunk in yet that you're having twins? I love the idea of twins, getting them both out of the way in one fell swoop (although twice the work of course!).

lauren sorry the witch came but is this good because hopefully it means your cycles will start properly now?

gaggia that sounds like a good excuse to hold off! Although I do think pregnant women in bikinis are cool. I'm sure you'll look fabulous either way!

calli fx for you this month. I've no idea how long my cycles are as they've been all over the place, but it should be sometime next week.

bertie POAMFS!!!!

My AF took about 5 months to come back after coming off the pill, it was so frustrating.

tee do it! Take a portable fan! :)

POAMFS actually made me lol