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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

999 replies

ZylaB · 10/07/2014 20:03

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
ChatEnOeuf · 29/07/2014 15:50

Welcome rm enjoy the JS

My baby shower was a surprise - we had pin the sperm on the egg (located mid-cartoon uterus) and guessed how may jelly babies were crammed into a bottle. The rest of the time was taken up with gossip and food - and a sweepstake for date/sex/weight. No-one got that correct Grin

In other news, I nearly fell off the scan table...there are TWO babies in my uterus. TWO! I'm slightly terrified but very excited!

RPopz · 29/07/2014 15:57

YAAAY Chat!!

RPopz · 29/07/2014 15:57

I've been bursting... Haha!!

Pisghetti · 29/07/2014 16:13

Haha Popz glad I wasn't the only one!

I wonder how many times you'll hear the words 'ooh double trouble' Chat p.s. Your baby shower sounds awesome!

rm00054 · 29/07/2014 16:19

Congrats Chat! What wonderful news!

Thanks for the lovely welcome everyone Smile

So I've worked out if I ovulate roughly in the middle of my cycle I am going to be most fertile while I'm away camping. Reading through the Fred, I know it can be done (I'm looking at you Pis) but I'm camping with a rather large group of friends and family, and just know we're so not going to get the opportunity unless we sneakily slink off to a nearby b&b Sad

teejayem · 29/07/2014 16:45

Right! ERTD over! House Move done! new bed purchased and ready to ruin Check! Cape on!!
JSing in earnest this month as OH is in Dubai for work for a month after the Aug BH :(
Congrats chat!!

Purplecircle · 29/07/2014 16:46

Oh wow Chat, that's amazing! Congrats xx

minimooo · 29/07/2014 17:05

wow chat congratulations! What amazing news! Smile Was thinking of you today in your scan. So happy that you've been given such lovely news!

Welcome rm!

I've just got back from GP appointment with dh - blood tests and semen analysis booked at long last. Dh is feeling a bit Hmm about it all, but at least he's going along with it (he thinks we just need to keep trying for longer). GP said that referral to fertility specialist will only be carried out at the 2-year mark though, but really hoping that we don't have to wait that long and that we get our elusive bfp before then (2 years will be April 2015 - god that seems like ages away when I see it typed out).

In GBBO news.... they've released the details of the bakers! thegreatbritishbakeoff.co.uk/bakers/series-5/ I whiled away about an hour over lunch reading all about them...
Not long to go now! Cake

wilmabedrock · 29/07/2014 17:19

Oh my goodness Chat that's amazing news. I'm a little jealous! Is that our first JSing set of twins?

Lala5 · 29/07/2014 17:29

Oh my god chat that's brilliant news! Two for the price of one Grin

Hi rm welcome!

All this chat of naked torsos...phew! I like a nice naked upper half (male) on a hot day!

mini we've just been through all the testing, fx it all goes well, tell your dp to be careful not to jiz on the carpet (inspiration for old Fred title).

tee go for it!

Rm if you conceive on family camping trip it'll at least be a story to tell Shock

If I get upduffed this cycle I'm wondering how long is appropriate to wait til it's ok to tell my mum her grandchild was conceived in her spare room!!! Smile

RPopz · 29/07/2014 17:32

It is TOTALLY appropriate to bring that up straight away Wink

BertieBotts · 29/07/2014 17:36

OMG, Chat! Awesome! How exciting Grin

ZylaB · 29/07/2014 17:43

lala as soon as possible and then at every available opportunity thereafter ;)

OP posts:
minimooo · 29/07/2014 17:52

thanks la sage advice! I think you should tell your mum straight away too! Grin

Pisghetti · 29/07/2014 18:10

It should be part of the announcement Lala 'we've decided to do a Beckham and call the baby insert mum's street name here because.....'

Hi Rm take gags and don't forget to "just pop back to pick up the raincoats" mid-afternoon Grin

TabbyTurmoil · 29/07/2014 18:18

Lovely news chat!

Welcome rm

la probably appropriate to wait until she's taken a big mouthful of tea?

wilmabedrock · 29/07/2014 18:27

Haha pis. I'm dying to know what that would mean Lala's baby was called.

Lala5 · 29/07/2014 18:41

St Mary!

ChatEnOeuf · 29/07/2014 19:25

Ha! That's an excellent name for a baby Grin

Welcome back to the action teejay

I know RPopz! Daft app wasn't playing so couldn't update here for ages.

RPopz · 29/07/2014 20:20

Let's hope it's not a boy then Wink Grin

Lala5 · 29/07/2014 20:24

St Marius?

wilmabedrock · 29/07/2014 20:30

Ah there are loads of variations of Mary, that's not too bad at all. I was hoping it was going to be Cockburn St or something Grin .

Lala5 · 29/07/2014 21:01

Ohmygod I LOVE Cockburn St in Edinburgh :) I WISH my mum lived there!

But yes - that wouldn't have worked at all...

If only it had been Queen St. Or Legend Close.

Or Octavia Avenue.

aylesburyduck · 29/07/2014 21:17

Twins you say? TWINS!!!!!!

Well stuff me sideways with the ragmans trumpet!!

Bloody marvellous news Grin Grin Grin

xxxx

wilmabedrock · 29/07/2014 21:23

Legend would be a brilliant name Grin

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