Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Don't be daft, it's what we're here for I think it was inevitable that it'd hit you eventually... you were so brave at the weekend. Self preservation probably. X

Yeah I think so too. At least the physical stuff has all but stopped.
Thanks for your kind words xx

Ah purple, talk away. Take as long as you feel to face those customers, you need to feel up to handling them. We'll be here when you want to get the cape out of the closet

Purple I'm up at this hour feeling sad about my mc. Take all the time you need lovely. I only knew I was pg for 24 hours - it doesn't matter how far along you were, it's your loss and only you know how you feel. Just one day at a time for now. I am thinking of you too .

purple it's grossly unfair and sad and you should be allowed the time to grieve and come to terms with what's happened. I hope you have someone there who can give you hugs when you need them and make you tea.

We are here whenever you need us - that goes for you too before and any other of you who have gone through this. Hugs xx

Welcome bertie

The weather has been so glorious that DP has been mostly topless all weekend PHWOAR so we've been at it like rabbits but its without intent because im only on CD6.

What the others said purple - it is unfair and sad. Do whatever you have to do to come to terms with what's happened and we'll be here in the meantime and for when you're ready to try again

Hi Bertie! Sorry I did the maths. I had my DS at 21 too (but I'm a lot longer in the tooth now)

Gaggia what's a girl to do? DP has been not only topless but chopping wood as well wibble ....

I don't think it matters how long you'd known for. I didn't test with my mc (heavy implantation bleed...) but there was no mistaking what happened, and I still think about it.

pis chopping wood you say? Swoon

Oh fatty I hate baby showers at the best of times so that sounds awful. Saying that, a not bad activity is everyone bringing baby/little person photos of themselves and a quiz to guess who is who. It's a bit less twee than some of the puke inducing baby games. Hope there is nice cake for you at least.

Fatty - can you not get together with some of the people you like and share crafty stuff with them? More fun and cheaper than sitting on your tod designing a babygrow!

Good for you Gaggia!

purple glad to hear you're taking some time out. I can't imagine how hard it must be, but as popz said you did conceive and there's every reason to think that you will go on to have a healthy pregnancy. Please don't feel like you can't talk about it here - this TTC is some serious shit and we're here for that as well as for lightening the mood with jizzy carpets and disco pants

fatty a friend went to a baby shower a few months ago where the hilarious game consisted of microwaved chocolate bars in disposable nappies which you had to smell and guess the chocolate bar - don't think my stomach could handle it!

I've only been to a few baby showers and they were the 'cupcakes and bib designing' type affairs don't get the whole bib designing thing myself

My friends don't seem to have them, which is fine by me as I've already probably forked out hundreds attending their engagement parties, weddings and no doubt will be buying birthday and Christmas presents for their dc for years to come. I do get a bit fed up with all he millions of parties to celebrate babies etc., I like just to go see baby when born and give gift then.

I'll probably eat those words if I ever get upduffed and be demanding a baby shower!

I've not had much time recently to post myself, but I've been lurking and reading all your news.

We were JSIng like beasts last week and I'm now twotting. Twottity twot twot.

Soooo mad at Mr La on Friday. Bear in mind I've spent a fortune on pissy sticks opk/pg etc over past tear, finally giving in and getting stupid monitor thing. Only to pee on it daily for 4 weeks, getting nothing. Then on Friday I finally got peak, only to have Me La say he's 'too hot and too tired' to finish. WHATTHEFLYINGFUCK!?

Ooh I was so mad.

Managed finally to get cape on fri evening so hopefully caught it.

Bloody men.

*year

I quite like the idea of a baby shower as an excuse to see all my friends before a little person takes over my life but I certainly wouldn't want them to bring presents or waste good nappies and chocolate bars have you seen how many nappies a nipper will rip through! and how many chocolate bars a new mum might need to see her through the sleeplessness

Fx Lala hope you can plan your own shower early 2015!

Some baby shower games I have participated in:

decorating baby gros in small groups as a competition (with cool decorating stuff provided) was good fun - my group had creative direction from one of the preggo lady's little nieces!

Pin the sperm on the [dfriend] (like pin the tail on the donkey) was just a bit random I have some weird friends

Oh lala I feel your pain, think sometimes the contraband /shagging to order can really add to the stress. Sounds like the pressure got to mr la? I think it's hard for them in a different way trying to be charitable

Fx you caught the egg - and it's also a positive that the contraband says you are icing.

Yeah I like the idea of a baby shower as a last ditch social thing before the baby's born. But I wouldn't want people to think they had to bring gifts... I think that's a bit cheeky really. Though saying that I always loved buying stuff for friends babies... always went way overboard though!! That nappy game would make me BORK!

Argh La how fudging annoying they are!! Don't worry tho... do you remember when I got my peak and then didn't see DH for 24 hours! I was so mad. But seems all the preshagging did the trick lol.

Bit jel of all your shagging!! Mr P isn't biting at the mo... Not sure if he's too tired/hot/ scared/ repulsed by my pseudo pregnant gut....

Pin the sperm! I love it!!!

Haha! Pin the sperm!

The nappy one sounds awful. Would make me feel pretty ill

I like the photo one, wil Great idea.

I'm not a fan of baby showers either and tend to avoid them wherever I can. I can see why people have them though.

pis my dh is also a wood chopper. He won't take his top off though even though I have asked him nicely

Hi everyone. Can I join?
DH and I had a condom failure last month (ERTD has since been and gone), but it lead us to both realise we really wanted a bfp. I'm a bit of a novice at all this ttc stuff and don't really know when I'm most fertile so we're going to try JSing as much as possible Currently on cd6 and have just ordered lots of cheap pregnancy tests as I'm a bit of a POAS junkie!

Name: RM
Age: 25
TTC: no.1, starting this month

Hello. And fx for lots of bfp this Fred.

Aw RM that's really sweet Welcome and fingers crossed your journey will be a quick one! x

Welcome rm lots of luck!

I've never been to a baby shower. My sister had one that was for young trendy dudes only and I wasn't invited. Bastards!

pis wood chopping topless man eh? Ooh lovely. I enjoy a naked torso on a summers day!

See really what you all want is a day out with your mates and not a baby shower. I actually have only been to one and they were very insistent about no presents so wasn't too bad. I also prefer to just give something when the baby is born.

Anyone testing soon?