Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I can't wait for one candidate to steal another's custard!

This GBBO sounds cut throat! I'll need to get watching.

Got cape on last night which is lucky coz today dh has food poisoning so chances of JSIng today slim and unpleasant.

C'mon swimmers swim!

Does anyone else get extreme pain when icing? My stomach was agony last night, pains in both sides.

Sure you haven't got food poisoning too La??

Glad you managed to get your wicked way before he succumbed to his sick bed haha

This GBBO sounds cut throat! I'll need to get watching.

Got cape on last night which is lucky coz today dh has food poisoning so chances of JSIng today slim and unpleasant.

C'mon swimmers swim!

Does anyone else get extreme pain when icing? My stomach was agony last night, pains in both sides.

Oh dear - posted twice! Poor signal area

AF arrived...disappointment all round. Oh well at least a shorter cycle this time.

No popz it was before eating and was more stabby ovary than stomach. It's gone now though. Off to yet another wedding today!

:( could I'm sorry

Ah could, have some and/or

Go Mr La's swimmers!

Lala no wonder you're skint, you must have been to about 10 weddings recently!

Sorry about the witch could.

Thanks viroids. Not the end of the world, just feel a bit down about it.
On a positive note I'm away next week without DH so no JSing possible anyway - timing not bad on that front!!

What's everyone up to this weekend? Lala have a great time at the wedding

Hello viroids!

So, my DH got in very late last night after a night out with his friends. Woke my up a 4am when he got into bed. Then he proceeded to stroke me. I told him to bugger off, I was asleep and not in the mood for any shagging. Besides, ERTD is at its heaviest, so it would mean a bloodbath! Silly man, thinking I want to shag when he wakes me up at 4am smelling of booze...

Sorry about the horse la! Has it gone somewhere where you can visit/ possibly ride? I have an inability to sell mine and keep collecting them currently have 5...

I get my coil out on Monday. 2 more sleeps. I'm so excited to start being able to actually join in with the trying!

Bad news: ERTD. Fellow visitees have my sympathies.

Good news: Mr Before has a week off work and is up for attempting to DTD every day. EVERY DAY. Oh my! Not sure if we can but it's going to be fun attempting 7 days in a row.

Happy balmy weather, everyone (can you tell I've cheered up now).

Ooh, welcome to the madhouse Lauren.

Not long now lauren! Well impressed with 5 horses btw. Must be a lot of work, but well worth it I bet.

Sorry for ERTD could and before

Hope you had a lovely time at the wedding la - beautiful day for it!

Sorry I haven't popped in for a while viroids, very busy at work but I'll catch up when I'm in the bath! (Just to give you a lovely mental image)

Sorry to hear about those ERDTs viroids, gorging on blue cheese, wine and anything else you're not supposed to eat when upduffed lessened the blow for me. Currently only on cycle day 17 and finding twotting awful. Worst thing is, fling the early mc my cycle may well be longer than normal, so really got to not get excited if the witch doesn't show on time - easier said than done! Exciting times Lauren!

Eh that was supposed to be following, not fling! Crap phone!

morning all. currently in a tent for the week. got here Friday night and in typical sods law fashion I iced yesterday. there was/is no way I'm getting my cape on with nothing but a sheet of material between us and my mum and step dad! so fx Thursdays "phone sex" was enough!

la I get horrendous ov pain. yesterday morning it was particularly bad, could barely stand and was walking with a slight limp because of it. I think it was worse yesterday as was on left side and I don't get it on left very often.

so cd23 here and I'm now twotting along with the rest of u twotters.

sorry to those the witch got.

chat how are you doing?

Morning Viroids hows things?

No news here other than wedding stuff its driving me insane and I am firmly in TWOT mode. Not a symptom to be had.

Off to the Doc on Tuesday, having a blood test to see if I'm ov-ing, I feel a bit anxious about it, I think I need to get a grip!

Thanks mini! 3 are ponies and 1 is retired so not too impressive! I've lost enough weight now to ride the ponies as well as my own though so I've been having loads of fun being silly on ponies lately

Fx for everyone doing their TWOT!

Morning ladies.

Haha, that didn't take long Dulcey I remember about 6months into wedding planning I wished we'd just run away to Gretna green!! Good luck with the blood test. I worried about mine too.... esp after the nurse wrote INFERTILITY on my request form.... Fingers crossed all will be well.

Not fancying some tent shagging a la Pis eh Lil?? I guess the parentals would put a dampener on it!! Hope the ov pain is subsiding anyway x

Morning ladies and hello to any newbies... losing track of everyone now!

Morning viroids. Hope you're all ok

I lost the baby, spent much of yesterday at A&E to have it confirmed.

I'll be back with my cape when I'm up to it

purple am so very sorry to hear that

Massive hugs to you both xxxx