Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Hot sweaty balloon boobs!

Hi lady

Horse went today to his new home. I'm sad!

I think I'm twotting. Ultimate contraband says high fertility, but I think it's full of crap.

Sorry to gaggia and anyone else the witch is being a bitch to. Fx for the fellow twotters x

I dunno la if u haven't had peak yet I'd keep shagging.

tonight dh instigated sex...whilst I was on the phone trying to sort my mobile. and refused to stop. by the time I finished my phone call I had no ides what I was talking about! haha

cd20 here and still waiting for my lazy ovaries. I think they've given up like me!

chat how are you doing? It's frustrating having to wait, try not to stress yourself. Fx xx

Ha! lil hope you weren't on phone to your mum!

Yes I think I'll keep going, we haven't for 2 days coz I'm too busy but will resume service in morning..

no la....virgin mobile!!

Peak! Peak! You can slap me for using contraband I'm so relieved. It's potentially explained why I've not been upduffed in a year. Icing day 25/26 this cycle, normally stop JSIng about day 21!

Mr La is snoring his head off after coming in at 3am. Tough titty mister, you're about to get a very rude awakening!

I had a feeling you'd get the peak in the next couple of days la I was getting quite a lot of highs on the cycles I iced late. hope hes compliant with the rude awakening!

oh and la in my experience first peak day is usually my icing day.

la so the contraband came good! Hope Mr la got jumped. Sorry to hear about horse.

I think I'm cd21 today, maybe I should keep going. Had a bunch of spots on my chin a couple of days ago which I took massive wishful thinking, feel free to slap me with a wet fish of your choice as a sign I had iced and started producing progesterone.

Hope you're ok chat, my mum always says not to put yourself through the worst before it happens if you see what I mean - not that I've ever been able to follow that advice.

Hi lady

lil how very rude ;) sounds better than the average call to customer services

fx for all the twotters.

Hi

Hooray La!! It's a relief to see that word isn't it!! I wanted to throw mine out of the window until it told me that... ha. Get shagging gurl, Mr La will love his RUDE awakening

Sorry about your horse xx

Lil that made me laugh so hard!! What's got into him hehe. You've probably signed up to all sorts now haha

Hehe Lil and La ! Good shagging viroids.

Definitely there with the hot, sweaty, balloon boobs. Mine have gone a lovely shade of blue too. Nice!

Fx all is fine Chat seems an awfully long time to wait x

Hi Lady

Haha blue boobs... that was prob my first real symptom...

Right, it looks like ERTD arrived for me, but still holding out hope here!
I had some light bleeding yesterday, as all my ERTDs starts. But until the flow really starts, I'm keeping hopes up. Any symptoms could mean both ERTD and being upduffed at the moment, so I'm ignoring them all.
DH is still asleep. Shall I get my cape on and go wake him like that?

Morning viroids!

Hugs to you chat, sorry you have to wait so long for the scan.

Sorry about your horse La. Yay about peak reading though! Gogogogogo!

Hi Lady! Hope ERTD stays away for you.

I've just booked GP appointment for me and dh should have done this months ago really so at least we can get started with tests now.

Is any one else really excited about the new series of Great British Bake Off?! I can't wait!

I like the Bake Off!

Oh I LOVE GBBO! When does it start?

yay, more GBBO fans! Kato it starts on Weds 6th August on BBC1. Jo Brand is also doing a spin-off show on Fridays "The Extra Slice" - a bit like "The Apprentice - You're Fired!" show where they interview whoever gets booted off each week obsessed much? me? no!

Fx this will make a difference La! Maybe should get some contraband myself...

6th of August for GBBO! Wooo!

Ooh, La this may well explain things! Fingers crossed for you. Did Mr La appreciate his awakening?

I'm still ticking along, seems to be settling - Tuesday seems a long way off but the only way that will change is if things worsen. I'm certainly not hoping for that!

Here's hoping the red tide stays away for all you twotters.

Chat fx for you, we will help to keep your mind off it til tues

Mr La was initially enthusiastic however sadly apparently my insistence that we do it 'now!' Put too much pressure on

Uterus is killing me so definitely something going on. Hopefully I can get my cape on tonight and tomorrow morning and catch that pesky egg!

Chat fx for you, we will help to keep your mind off it til tues

Mr La was initially enthusiastic however sadly apparently my insistence that we do it 'now!' Put too much pressure on

Uterus is killing me so definitely something going on. Hopefully I can get my cape on tonight and tomorrow morning and catch that pesky egg!

Aah that old chestnut.... Lol. Fingers crossed for tonight!! xx

la sorry about the horse. Hopefully all this JSing will cheer you up.

Sorry to all the witch visitees. Next cycle might be luckier for us.

I can't wait for GBBO. Will Hollywood be a total ball sack? Will Berry call someones loaf 'informal' ?will Perkins steal a few squares of chocolate? Will Giedroyc break someones kitchen aid?. I cannot,cannot possibly wait eeeeeeekkk!

Will Mary have terrible eyelash extensions again??