Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Hugs chat lots of people have it early on! Call EPU though for reassurance.

Hugs Chat. One thing at a time. Call the Early Pregnancy Unit at your local hospital as others have said. See if you can get in for a scan tomorrow. Don't try to go to work etc until you can get some reassurance. Use a pad if you need to. Thinking of you.

chat lots of hugs to you. Have you got someone with you?

Fx it will be ok chat

chat try not to panic yourself, it can happen in early pg. Is it possible for you to phone someone as the others suggest? Xx

Oh Chat, have you called NHS 24? As the others have said it can happen early on, it doesn't always mean the worst. Hugs. x

fx for you chat. I could be wrong but didn't this happen to nessa and turned out to be nothing serious for her?

red if you're out there I'm thinking of you. hope all going well

Fx that everything's okay for you chat!

Holding a good thought for you chat x

Thanks for the hand-holding viroids. I'm 6/40 - went to bed early last night and tried not to think about it. Got darker brown but the fresh again this morning. Called CMW and they are trying to get me a scan...we shall see. It happened in first pregnancy and all was fine - but last time it wasn't.

Everything crossed for you Chat xxx

Sending a virtual hug to you chat xx

Thanks Popz Scan booked for Tuesday(!), only five days of fretting then

Thinking of you, chat.

Hope everything is ok for you chat.

Just wanted to say hi and introduce myself, I'm 23 and my partner is 24. We've been TTC since end of July 2013. If i PIAR and its negative this month then next month shall be a trip to the GP, fun times.

Apart from that we have been JS! No opks. Brief flirtation with the FF app but now I only use it for tracking when my period is next due as I have a terrible memory. ERTD is due on Saturday!

hi lady

chat try and relax until the scan. stress is the worst thing right now. lots of deep breaths

Hi lady! Fx for you this month!

hey chat, how are you lovey??

xx

What does fx mean?

And thanks Lauren and lil!

Hi Lady! Fx means fingers crossed.

Chat - hopefully it'll all turn out like in your first pregnancy, fx for your scan.

Fx for you Chat. Try to stay calm sweetie

I had a tiny bit of spotting yesterday and today. The book says it's normal and I've no pain so I'm not panicking.

Bloody work means I can't get to the docs for 2 weeks to tell them I'm preg and find out what next

Hi lady hope ERTD stays away for you!

The witch visited me today bang on time. Meh we shall keep on shagging til it happens.

Hope your ok chat

Fingers crossed for you chat. Hi lady.

All pmt signs present and correct here including hot sweaty balloon boobs! ERTD due Sunday.

Hi lady and fx chat.

Tmi alert...pink discharge earlier, not sure what is going on as cd26 but last cycle was 38 days, and not regular since stopping pill in may, so could be gearing up for AF sounds like I'm not the only one.

Gaggia - I love that! "Hot sweaty balloon boobs" is exactly how mine feel right now. Also taking off my bra was like someone letting go of a bag you're sharing the weight of and it all of a sudden gravity becomes unusually painful. Normal ERTD signs for me but I know until the red lady sings it could go either way...