Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Before, my MC was really early (2-3 weeks) but it still felt horrendous. I too get the 'if it wasn't for the MC...' feeling too. And it's true, there are babies and pregnant women everywhere - although I'm so happy for them it does still sting a little. My neice was telling me today the stats of how many babies are born every minute and I even let out a wee sigh then! It's normal - crap but normal.

Gaggia - I used to use removal cream all the time when I was a student, was fine until I was to meet my then boyfriend in a hotel - I signed in first so thought I'd chillout for a while - did my removal cream but had the AWFUL idea of taking the cream off in a nice relaxing bath. Ouch.

before were here for you. Stay and rant. Please!

calli shall I just remove it in the shower or just use the scraper thing?

So, I just went upstairs with a very weird combination of thing:

• pregnancy tests
• a bar of soap
• a knife

Thank god I'm home alone, otherwise the DH would be very confused about what the hell I was up to!

Yeah gaggia (your name autocorrects to haggis - ace!) it can get messy (that was the reason I thought of the bath) but I just got the worst of it off with the scraper then had a shower. It reeks (or it used to anyway)!
Fatty - what the?!

fatty when are you testing? .
JSing has clearly failed for me this cycle as I'm the spottiest human EVER. Witch is due Thursday 3pm ish. Hope she comes and goes quickly.

Well, the tests needed to go in the bathroom, I needed a new bar of soap in there as well and I needed the knife for some crafting I was doing in the study. All perfectly normal things, but the combination is just a very odd one.
I am trying to behave myself testing wise!

(Lurks in)

before I had a mmc last year and completely get the horrible feeling of seeing other pregnant women and of course it was upsetting thinking of how far along I should have been. I remember thinking that any future pregnancies were ruined but in the end it was ok, the first 12 weeks were tough but now its really good aside from the bloody heat and never ending exhaustion

Any way just wanted to say it gets easier!

What the heck!? A knife? I'd thought you meant to scrape off the cream!

I'm terrible I was at wedding last week, looked down and realised I'd forgotten to shave my legs and worse - my knees were hairy!

My poor dh. God knows why he still fancies me.

We had a bizarre ttc conversation last night. I've suggested loads to him that he should read up on ttc coz he's always like 'have we made a baby yet?' at completely wrong time of month. I ended up educating him about pant snot last night - he was quite interested and it felt a bit wrong to be sitting chatting leisurely about it together!

Meanwhile I'm re-watching himym and there's a bit where lily gets totally frustrated with Marshall that he's moaning he's 'saved all his love for two weeks' ie he's got blue balls, as they are ttc. Lily turns round and gives him an absolute roasting coz she's the one who is eating healthily, giving up drinking, keeping charts, peering on sticks, taking her temperature every morning and all he's got to worry about is 'not playing with yourself!' I turned round to Mr La and said 'SEE!' Because those are all the things I said to him last week!

Sometimes this ttc thing makes me feel like an absolute freaking idiot who's possessed by some baby making demon! I'm an intelligent woman, but quite often I find myself being completely ridiculous! Like crying because my friend got pg after 4 weeks whilst I've been trying since last July. Its irrational but I'm really hoping someday I get to look back on this and laugh. The funny thing is every day in get up and go to work like any other person and no one would ever know how completely ridiculous I'm being inside.

before and any of you other lovely viroids who have had a mc, my heart absolutely goes out to you. I've no idea how that must feel and how hard it must be to pick yourselves back up and start ttc again. I think you're extremely strong and I admire you all very much. I hope you feel you can come on here and rant all you like, as you will always get listened to x

My that was long...

Excellent post La That is EXACTLY how I felt ttc.... (well you know that cos I was here whinging every day ) Lol.

Hugs Before x

Hugs lala

Lala I am totally that TTC crazy woman just now. I can think of little else! Can't wait to get back to work tomorrow to get my mind off of it. Would love to teach DH more about ttc but I think he thinks I'm getting a bit ridiculous about it - after all it is Jsing! And thanks for your (and everyone else's) support about the mc and ttc in general - helps to know I'm not the only crazed one about. Peeing myself about the hairy kness btw, and thank God those items weren't to be used together Fatty! x

Sorry to people feeling crappy. Know just what you mean Before. Nessa is due on my old due date and I always kind of think I should be as far on as her. I know it's a bit easier for me as I'm already pg again but I guess that also goes to show it can happen quickly again afterwards. / / / for everyone, depending on mood.

I don't mind getting a wax, even went for one at 39 weeks last time, but would definitely draw the line at the 'on all fours bum wax', sounds horrific.

Hi everyone I've been quietly lurking trying not to get too obsessed with the TTC stuff. As several others have mentioned it is difficult when everyone seems to be pregnant and asking if you're considering another. No one knows we are TTC except for my mum, so trying to shrug of those questions when the truth is we are JSing is hard! Mum really supportive and is like "well if it happens it happens and you can't control it" very true particularly when your cycles are all over the place!!

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I had been avoiding the threads for a bit because I didn't want to bring folk down, so thanks all for making me feel normal and not the crazy person that I thought I was. Although it's crap whenever it happens, it's at least comforting it know that I'm not alone. It will get easier and hey, I got upduffed in August last time around.

Thanks Purple for what you said about wondering if it's all worth it - I get that absolutely. And Lala - glad it's not just me that has to put my sane face on before I go to work. And everyone who shared their experiences - thank you.

Going out with a good friend tomorrow to get our brows done. Made me laugh, such a teenage thing - going to town to the brow bar! Glad to get out of the house. Anyway, that brings me nicely back to waxing. I've tried it but I didn't like it much. Too, um, draughty! DH happy either way and his offer of giving me a trim usually leads to DTD.

loving that the waxing talk is still ongoing. I'd happily get on all fours....if I'm paying for it I want it done properly!

before I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish. and everyone else feeling like a crazy person. we all get like it. but please let it out here, this thread has lasted so long because of the support the people here offer to others whatever they are going through. I've been here for about half of them so I know! I guess you have to focus on the positives. for me its trying to focus on the fact all my results came back great, and a natural conception may be unlikely but not impossible. before, I can't imagine what a mc must be like, but try and focus on the fact you got pg as the positive. chances are like wil you will be upduffed again soon, you know your body can do it and the swimmers are getting there!

i think at the year mark the feelings of impatience, anger, hopelessness, unfairness etc etc all peak. but since finding out its not likely for us and going through the referral and infertility process I've sort of moved on. not given up, just my focus has shifted to getting to our first ivf cycle rather than ttc if that makes sense. if it happens before that then great of course, but each month when it doesn't I'm OK with that because its what I expect. I guess what I'm trying to say is whether you get upduffed in the next month, two months or not without help, you won't always feel so down, crazy and useless. I'm not saying the bumps everywhere aren't hell. I walked up the supermarket aisle today into the direct path of an oncoming foetus! it's all I can do not to stare and get annoyed, but then I remember why I feel that way and I feel glad the woman I'm glaring at hasn't noticed me hasn't got to go through those feelings.

my god I go on when I get started. sorry!

Don't avoid us, Before - rant away. I know how you feel, my mc in March was unpleasant (I was at work) and the pregnancy itself was perfectly timed. Not that I could possibly complain about this one, but it doesn't stop you wondering about what might have been. It's taken a while to get back on the ttc wagon and the anxiety is sky high right now.

I can't wax, skin would be peeled off I'm quite sure

On another note - has anyone been on AIBU recently? Therein lies therapy!

AIBU to think that when being waxed they should do my bum hole and toes, as part of the package?

Heeheehee.

before enjoy the brow bar! I went yesterday for a thread and tint and I'm like a new woman!

We're off in holiday (to London) on Monday and I'm trying to decide whether to get my spray tan done... It's my fertile window this weekend and DH will not go near me if I'm freshly Broon!!!

I used hair removal cream on my fanjo last night. I left it on for the maximum time and scraped it off. No hair came off! Anyway I shaved and applied fresh pj bottoms.
However my half burnt half shaved fanjo is now like Velcro and is sticking to all fabrics .

I would get it done professionally but it bloody hurts.
I don't visit salons really. DP cuts my hair and I do my own pedi and mani.

Oh gaggia - what an image! (((your fanjo)))

I am too scared to go back for a wax after having an episiotomy. Scar is pretty big. Can anyone confirm if it hurts or not? (more than normal).

Fresh red...scared...:(

Oh Chat hugs - how far on are you? Are you in pain? Try and stay positive, blood doesn't always mean the dreaded m x

Do you mean you're bleeding chat? Can you phone EPU?