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Conception

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Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

999 replies

ZylaB · 10/07/2014 20:03

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
KatoPotato · 21/07/2014 11:41

Flowers Tabby There's nothing worse than being made to feel like a sex nag, I tend to linger about in matching underwear at bedtime to help my cause, but I'm so terrified at being rejected I make him take the lead, my ego could not take it!

between my numerous apps I have a ridiculous 'window' So started my campaign last night!

Just read this: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2699651/Not-tonight-dear-I-m-tried-gross-sick-drunk-Frustrated-husband-creates-spreadsheet-detailing-different-reasons-wife-not-sex-him.html

sorry for DM link , but quite a funny story!

fattycow · 21/07/2014 11:45

I've seen that article and don't think it is funny at all. Sex isn't an obligation!

KatoPotato · 21/07/2014 11:48

Not funny sorry, I mean just a bit relevant today!

fattycow · 21/07/2014 11:54

Indeed, it is relevant to today. Doing the deed can become a shore if it fails to get you upduffed...

fattycow · 21/07/2014 12:15

I keep smelling piss. Especially when I'm in the kitchen, but now I'm also smelling it in the living room (open plan ground floor). Very odd and annoying.

callipygian00 · 21/07/2014 12:19

Potentially good news Fatty? www.livestrong.com/article/153692-causes-of-a-urine-odor-during-pregnancy/

Lala5 · 21/07/2014 12:37

Sometimes I do feel like the woman in the article, as Mr La is an amorous sort! However sometimes (like last night) I'm totally not in the mood but give in and it ends up blowing my funk out of the bedroom.

Perhaps we should rename this the sex pest Fred as we often pester the men into shagging! Grin

fattycow · 21/07/2014 12:46

calli, I surely hope it is a good sign, as it is driving me mad. I cannot find the source of the smell. I have sniffed the sink, the sponge, the dishwasher, the pan that is on the hob, the cloth I used to wipe the counter tops and even the bin... Nothing smells of piss! We don't have any pets that could have peed in a corner somewhere. Maybe DH has pissed somewhere? Wink

Pisghetti · 21/07/2014 12:46

sniffs armpits oh piss not pis....

Lala Grin at 'blows my funk out of the bedroom'!

teejayem · 21/07/2014 12:50

Hi Viroids, ducked out this month as thought we'd try and 'let things happen' so I took MN off my phone and deleted the bookmark. Good to see so many BFPS reading through!! Didn't JS anywhere near s much as last month, but I caved and logged in this morning. Currently CD 36 with boobs like water balloons. POAS on Friday and BFN. Had a long cycle last month too so now just waiting. We're moving house at the weekend too, so I'm super grrr and anxious which I expect is putting ertd right off.

Hope everyone else is good xx

wilmabedrock · 21/07/2014 13:21

Fatty what CD are you on? I kept smelling a shitty smell when I was first pg and I'm sure someone else did too, Rpopz maybe?

MrWil is constantly horny not at all annoying but even he turned me down when ttc. It can definitely stop being fun. Keep at it though girls!

fattycow · 21/07/2014 13:28

wilma, I'm on day 28 now.

RPopz · 21/07/2014 16:01

Haha that was me Wil. I smelt shit everywhere when I was twotting... (delightful). And even now occasionally!

aylesburyduck · 21/07/2014 21:49

evening viroids...

I'm getting married!!! In 59 weeks!!! Mr Duck is now planning the big day Grin bless him. If he thinks he's got a say in this he gas another thing coming.

xxx

ZylaB · 21/07/2014 21:58

Aww congrats duck Thanks

OP posts:
wilmabedrock · 21/07/2014 22:13

Congratulations Duck! Lovely news. Will you have the whole big white shebang?

Lala5 · 21/07/2014 22:17

Ooooh!!! Hooray duck that's exciting!

TabbyTurmoil · 21/07/2014 22:41

Congratumalations duck wicked awesome news!

Thx for earlier viroids. We are back on speaking terms but I still feel a bit sad about my new and extremely unlikely sex pest status. Have ordered some new underwear and contemplating going for a brazilian :( but still a bit disbelieving that he is turning down perfectly good sex especially as I'm not the world's greatest at initiating it!

fatty that sounds promising, fx it's a symptom and not anything more sinister!

teejay my cycle went up the twist with moving but fx you're late for a nicer reason.

RPopz · 21/07/2014 22:55

Woohoo Ayles! Congratulations Smile Thanks xx

aylesburyduck · 21/07/2014 22:55

thanks for the congratultions ladies!!

tabby I had a brazillian for my hols... beauty therapist got a bit wax happy!! mr duck didn't notice for a week!

I'm not doing the big white wedding thing, It's not "us". I look fine in the morning until I step outside the front door, and from that point on I look like a bag of spanners Grin

callipygian00 · 21/07/2014 23:28

Congratulations Duck, this thread really is bringing good luck I think! x

lildottie · 21/07/2014 23:58

congrats ayles. I loves a good wedding! and I too wasn't going to have a big wedding, set a £6k budget..... pah! £20k+ and the whole shebang later we coulda given Kate and Wills a run for their money!Grin

KatoPotato · 22/07/2014 00:01

Awww congrats duck!!

Now, someone please tell me what a Brazilian entails? What's left behind?

lildottie · 22/07/2014 00:03

just a landing strip kato

ive had a few Hollywoods...nothing left behind.

KatoPotato · 22/07/2014 00:05

Do they do your bum hole too?