The Elderberry Pavlovas are tooling up and making plans to bust out of this joint! Evacuation by helicopter by end of September, no berry left behind!

[barkingtreefrog]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Thanks chloe just had a bit of a cry on dh as I'd read something about' not walking on egg shells when pg as that little baby is much stronger than you think.' And it totally set me off as mine wasn't strong.

I'm getting into my usual mire of overthinking/ worrying re everything. Think will play it by ear re work as I'm pretty private too, will tell boss as good to have him on side and may give me a bit of slack (realistically probably not!!), also good to have him in the loop for future treatment/ appointments. Also he is v discreet. Good tips re avoiding baby talk etc. Heavily pg lady is I think only in for 5 weeks and part time so can do my best to avoid! Like the strategically avoiding bit too, that's why I'm thinking of going into my friend's classroom! Yup to the cousin's news too. Ah well.

HB sorry you've had a rubbish nights sleep. Hope you get things sorted today.
Bushy please don't blame yourself for the mc. As others have said it's completely not your fault. Sorry you are having a tough day though. We're all with you
The wedding is in 10 days. Starting to feel scarily real !! Lady if we are fortunate enough to get diffed on out first go then I'll be telling everyone who'll listen that we had help! I don't want anyone in our position to think that it comes easy to everyone. I'll be on a mission to spread the word!!

happy I think that's a great idea. I've recently started to think girls women in their twenties need some wise mid-late thirties female friends who can point out every now and then that actually all that talk we're brought up with as teenagers (my phone just tried to autocorrect that to 'ten naggers') about how you only need to look at a bloke and you 'll be upduffed, might not always be the case. And that yes, career and a great education is absolutely important, but that actually it might be worth swapping other timings around on some life priorities (travel can always be done after kids for instance). I really don't think that as a twenty something year old I had a clue that it would take more than 3 months for anyone to get pregnant. And I wouldn't particularly consider myself that naive, I just don't think it's a topic that gets much coverage in single-people circles.

It was only after my brother and his wife announced they were expecting (just after having moved out of a lovely house into a wreck of a doer upper, hence our parents and my response was OMG, sorry, that's a bit of bad timing) did we discover that they'd actually been trying for over 2 years, and were actually delighted!! I mean, that's even in my own family!

So I've been making a conscious decision to let friends / colleagues know. Just to spread the word among non ttc'ers and let them know the subject isn't shouldn't be taboo.

Mind you, I've not had to deal with such idiot twassocks as your boss hb. Not sure a reasonable conversation would ensue there without the rage taking over me!! (Am sure he could put that down to hormones of course)

Sorry folks, i'll try to reduce the length of my posts in future....I think I'm just spewing forth all these thoughts I've been having on my own for so long now I've found a suitable outlet!

bushy It's so sad and clearly natural to burst into tears. Doesn't make it any easier to handle of course, especially when it feels as if the tears suddenly gush from nowhere.

Hi everyone! I've been meaning to post for days! Even made notes yesterday but time has run away with me. We're at a wedding tomorrow (oh best man).also got a week off next week so have had to catch up/get ahead with work before leaving. You know what it's like.

Right now I'm in an overpriced "hotel" in Essex that doesn't even include brekkie for £80 a night. We will have a good time. My period stated yesterday (I think) I know sounds silly but it's a bit (very) light for me. So I've booked in at the clinic for my baseline scan on Monday! Hope that my cyst had now gone! If so I will start ivf round two that evening!

I will catch properly soon! I am reading all but desperately need to make notes (his sad!). Right off out for Mexican dinner then to pub (obvs not drinking). Catch up soon

Sounds like a lovely weekend and an exciting week ahead Jellie, if it's possible to send cyst-shrinking thoughts I'm sending them right now!

Hi berries! Lots to catch up on in 3 days!

Rain what an insensitive man but I have to say I am not surprised that he forgot, I have found most of my male bosses to be similar although not in respect of a really important thing such as this. Well done for telling him straight about maternity policy.

Nolly rubbish about the 3 year wait. Re the iui, my FC say their success rate is below 10% and you have more chance of becoming pregnant by trying on your own. They have now stopped doing it but I managed to sneak in for 1 round as the consultant had offered it. I am treating it as a way of seeing what's going on during my cycle and how I respond to the drugs, plus I've not managed to get pg on my own in 2 years (2yr anniversary this month) so I can't see the harm. Also it's a less intense procedure than IVF. Hopefully by the time I do IVF we will know what's what. I don't know if that helps any! Yes I am loving the acu, thanks! I feel so much more relaxed afterwards and it lasts a little while too! How's your house hunt going?

Feather I cannot believe what your colleague said to you, that is so awful. Thanks for the advice re acu/herbs, my lady said she would make them up and I just would add hot water, but she said they are awful! I am going to hold off until after my next dildocam, to see what's happening with the cysts then I might take them. She also thinks I have endo, but the FC say no to that. She didn't know anything about adenomyosis though. How's things going with you? How far on are you now? Love back at you too!

Tiger your weekend away sounds lovely and relaxing! Enjoy the regatta and seafood! Interesting about the reiki but I think with you doing acu and your mindfulness you are right to not jump in to something else as well for the time being.

Kuma any news from your FC? How frustrating that you might miss another month. Glad your acu consultation went well though.

Gill how is downregging going?

Bushy Definitely don't turn into a nun, you would be so miserable if you restricted everything. Totally agree with Chloes advice too and I would say that if you feel up to it, you could initiate a brief baby/preg conversation with them when you feel that you can so that you can be prepared for it and then keep it short and move on. That way you can easily avoid taking part in the other conversations without being erm, impolite, for want of a better word. If they know about the mc though I think they would be more considerate to you. But just do what you can manage.

Hi and welcome Smidge sorry you are here though and good luck for your IVF! I love the time difference making the 2ww shorter! Fx for you.

HB your boss is a total arsehole. I can't believe he said that especially given the situation. I think you may be right re looking for something else.

Ahh Wild I have a massive grin about your dh's objections before your appointment! He must've been doing some research! Expect some graphs and pie charts soon...! Twice a day is definitely ambitious.

Happy 10 days! Wow! I am so excited for you! And then straight on to a lush honeymoon! all fingers crossed for your icsi too. Are you sorted for your wedding and honeymoon?

Fx jellie that the cyst has gone and you can crack on with round 2. Enjoy your week off and the wedding!

Lady how's things going with you? Are you still testing and what dpo are you now? Still crossing everything for you.

I've been bleeding very lightly since about 4dpo, so am wondering if the cyst has burst. Fx it won't be there on next dildocam. Guess it means I'm definitely out this cycle though.

Super sorry for the massive post, I'd only missed 3 days! Hope everyone has a lovely weekend

Happy weekend everyone! How y'all doing?

jellie wishing you lots of luck for Monday. Be gone cyst!

lady how are you doing? I am so hopeful for you

wild when does the twice a day schedule kick in?!

kuma boo to the ttc limboland. It really is tough when things aren't progressing. Hope you're not feeling too frustrated.

happy so close now! Have you done everything or will there be some last minute jobs to do?

bushy a big squeeze from me. Hope you're doing ok. Try and step away from the googling. Oh and (not that you'll necessarily want to know this as TMI) I have had a big glass of grapefruit juice every day for three days and today - ewcm! It's only cd 8 as well but as I haven't seen any for months I think it's a good sign. Thanks for the recommendation!

smidge post away! It's great to hear what you think and share your experiences. I always thought I'd get pg straight away as everyone in my family has. I never thought this would happen to me. A very unhealthy friend whose husband drinks heavily and smokes started ttc at the same time as us, and I remember being worried that it might take them ages when i so wanted us to pg together and thinking about how to be sensitive about making our announcement when the time came. They have a 5 month old now. What a naive idiot I was!

beaky have you been offered a laparoscopy? It's the only definite way of diagnosing endo i was told. So what makes your clinic say no? Also, going gluten free can really help endo apparently. Being gf whilst away is proving difficult though because MiL refuses to acknowledge it! She is aware but 'forgets'. I think she thinks it's just a fad. I'd love to tell her straight about our fertility issues but OH doesn't want them to know. Problem is, having been gf for 6 months, I feel properly unwell if I eat wheat now. Was presented with quiche and salad on arrival, managed to pick off the filling and sneakily feed the pastry to the dog but still had a terrible stomach ache that night. Also the dog clearly didn't digest the pastry as she was doing some god-awful unladylike smells the next day!!

Anyway, I am being totally lazy, have read the papers not much else today. Think a walk in heartbeat country with the dogs is the next thing on a very light to do list!

Well done beaky a mega post!!

Does anyone know where I can buy some red raspberry leaf tea from? Heard it's good for clearing out bleeding and I still am so would like to do stuff to help it. I have appt at epu weds to see how it has gone. Beginning to think I'll still be bleeding then, I just want it over with. Also weighed myself this morning- bit of a moment. Still I was pg and ate lots of lovely things on holidays. I am going to Zumba tomorrow! Might start trying to have a walk each day or twice a day as I need to get that number down!!

I haven't told my mum yet about the miscarriage, tried to ring last night but got answer phone. She's since sent me photos of my cousin and new baby etc. He looks lovely and am pleased for her. Have made her a needlework baby card, was quite good to focus the mind. Tbh I don't really know how to have the conversation, was almost going to email it but that's a cowards way out. Need to suck it up and do it.

Dh went out with mate last night for a few drinks and came back really late with mate in tow. I was relieved he was in a chipper mood and was having a laugh as sometimes when he drinks he can get quite maudlin and I was worried all the tears over the miscarriage were going to come out. Turns out they'd had quite a light hearted night and didn't get much time on their own because another annoying friend they bumped into kept chatting to them. I wondered whether he'd told friend but don't think he did. In some ways a bit of a relief as when his friend came back to the house that I didn't have to have the awkward conversation. There are times when I'm feeling good that I feel a bit bad for not being tearful and other times when I just feel really empty, fed up and like I need a change. This is silly really as I've just had a holiday. I'm hoping I can shake off the miscarriage feeling as lately I'm thinking about it a lot and just want to shake it off. I suppose I need to make that choice and be more positive. I don't want to be sucked down by it.

Ooh by the way holland and Barrett penny sale- got 2 royal jelly as one was a penny, thought may as well. Still I have enough royal jelly to sink a battleship!! Pregnacare conception is also down in price, about 6 pounds so got two of them. I've decided loads of the supplements and vits are included in pregnacare so may as well take them, then take those that aren't included to improve egg quality: q10, royal jelly and evening primrose oil. Did look at the q10 in holland And Barrett- was £32!! Jeez!! Tesco do one for about a fiver that is 100mg so going to replenish my stocks of that.

Oh and also got letter from fertility clinic saying they were sorry about the miscarriage and have made a next steps appt for September. Pleased about that.

Du de duh de duh de duuuuuuu ( fanfare for tiger's cm!!). Yay! Good stuff, might get back on the evil stuff when I'm back to normal. Does def work!

Your weekend sounds lovely. Lol at dog's flatulence.

Hear hear to the friend part and being naive. I have a friend who'd been trying before us and longer than us, both smokers and I was worried if we got pg first how I would break the news to her!! It did take her a long time and some miscarriages but she now has an 18 mth old. I remember her saying she was going to give up smoking again as they wanted a second and all my brain could think was nooooo, you'll be pg with second before I've even gotten preg. Anyway she has been absolutely lovely and checks in with me to see how I'm doing as she was my real life ttc buddy. Unfortunately she's a v busy person so haven't got hold of her yet to say about what's happened but will do. We're trying to sort a spa day. Gonna toast myself in the jacuzzi if there is one!!

How is there always so much to catch up on when I haven't been on here for a few days

Am on phone so can't reply to everyone, but bushy I think most places do the tea, h&b do and so do most of the supermarkets.

Other failed IVF berries, did it take long for your cycle to regulate? AF is now 2 days late which is not normal for me and before you ask all poas action has given bfns any advice?

Also new acu lady has suggested using a mooncup for AF each month, anyone else use one or similar?

Happy weekend everyone

tiger that weekend sounds bliss! I am meant to be cooking tomorrow for the parents in law and SIL. Think it was hubby's idea to put his mother to shame as whenever we go around there we only get offered ham sandwiches (which we have to make ourselves!). He claims she used to cook when he was younger but I have to say, in the 4 years we've been together I've never seen it... Anyway, I'm now under pressure to impress. I've made a cake which is looking pretty good actually, I'm quite pleased with that one. Though I put whisky in and couldn't help but lick out the bowl - a double no-no on raw eggs and the booze. I couldn't help myself though. Damn. There's only so long you can keep being good though, and as far as I know, eggs are only a problem if they actually contain salmonella (sp?) - luckily no sign of food poisoning. Got to be up early tomorrow to start on the food though - if planned to prep tonight but got distracted (remember it's already 10pm down under) with an episode of Lewis and then the nightly crinone action!

Talking of which I haven't yet walked around straight after applying... but tomorrow morning I'll have to. Hope the gel manages to defy gravity!!

Very interested to hear gf diet may help endo. My family has a history of autoimmune issues (mothers side) and my IVF Dr has already said if this attempt doesn't work she wants me to have a lap to check me out. I agree that lap is really the only definitive way to tell if you have it. They can check a bit with the dildocam but apparently only the prime areas (ovaries, uterus). Not that I quite understand how endometriosis elsewhere in the body (eg bowel) can actually impact fertility but still.

wild my hubby proudly showed off our calendar to a couple friends of ours back in the early days of trying, it's an app on the iPhone meant for tracking your period but allows you to annotate with symptoms etc. If you've been 'intimate' it puts in a heart (and we were having a full on heart fest in my fertile window). We still joke about the fact we mentioned it doesn't let you put in a double heart (and our mate spluttering 'double heart??!!' as he was already jealous of all the action my OH was getting!).

Not sure hubby's up for twice a day any more though - bit of a relief moving on to IVF I think. Loves the idea of gettin' it on (bow chicka bow bow ), but not when there's baby making pressure!

Thanks for the fanfare bushy . Exercise is a good thing to get back in to, it is a useful distraction. I haven't been brave enough to go to Zumba as I have no coordination and I get muddled and flustered! Bless your DH, he sounds very sweet. Hope telling your mum goes ok.
I got raspberry leaf tea from H&B.

smidge ah, you're in Oz? I forgot. Are you in Sydney? I lived there for a bit, loved it. Hope the cooking goes well! Cake sounds amazing. Autoimmune disorders in my family too, have been tested for Coeliacs but don't have it. Went gf a while back and feel much better for it though.

lumen not had Ivf but hope af comes along for you soon unless of course there's a chance?!

lumen my cycles are a bit irregular but average around 35 days. After the first IVF with the chemical I o'd on day 32 and had a 47 day cycle. After the second, I had a 33 day cycle but then a very light period and then a short, 23 day cycle. So basically yes, the IVF affected them.

Hello to all, hope you're enjoying the sunshine. I'm on call all weekend so not at home until Monday evening. 14dpo, cramps but no bleeding today. Cheapie still positive this morning.

Thx lady. Fx for you

Lumen - although it wasn't exactly a failed IVF, my cycles did take a couple of months to settle down after my treatment.

Lumen my cycles went back to normal right away; in fact it was normal during my IVF cycle, even down to the spotting on CD22 it's almost like my body didn't even notice it was happening. I don't think it's unusual for it to take a little while to get back on track though. I also use a mooncup, but don't image that has any influence on cycle timings.

Thx ladies, AF rocked up with all bells blazing last night

lady that sounds really positive, good luck.

The cooking went ok - well, the eating part did anyway, but had a meltdown beforehand when hubby was being less than useless, and finally went out to buy the red wine I needed to put in the casserole after I was vacuuming around him ... Took 40minutes, and his parents arrived just the second he left. So I was left trying to prepare the food while entertaining them while getting angrier and more upset by the minute that he still wasn't here...
After 30mins I called him and deduced within seconds that he'd actually gone to the cafe next door for a coffee and to read the paper. Aargh! By the time he got back I was a mess, having cut my finger, unable to heft around the huge casserole dish which was still missing the wine, and willing his parents to leave me alone. Completely upset with him and couldn't stop crying. Sent him and the inlaws out to attend a wine/food fair down the road while I finished off in the kitchen and calmed down. Thankfully the meal itself was rather nice

Basically I'm really hoping you all think i was being completely unreasonable and hormonal and that this must be a sign I'm upduffed, not that AF is on its way or I have an insensitive husband!!
8 and a half days p5dt...

I hope it is pregnancy hormones Smidge, it can't be long until OTD for you then? Do they let you do the urine test at home or do you have to go in for it? Bring on the next clusterdiff!

Oh gosh I hope so. Just can't tell what's progesterone/ stress/ AF/ imagination/ pregnancy!! Official blood test is on Wednesday morning, ooer not long now . They didn't say whether or not we could/should do a standard urine preg test at home first. But I'm not keen on getting results over the phone from a nurse while hubby's at work. Well, not if it's negative anyway. So I think we've decided to try poas with fmu on Tuesday morning. I think...

The 2ww is very hard post ET smidge, I found my hormones were a mess. Glad the meal turned out well and will hoping for a positive result for you this week.

Tiger no I've not had a lap, they are fairly sure I don't have endo and if they've been able to diagnose adenomyosis they should have picked that up too and they said not. I've been gf and wf for 4 years on and off it doesn't seem to have made too much difference sadly. I do think people think these things are just a fad but even so if your mil does think that she could at least go with it! Hope you managed to avoid it the rest of the weekend. Great news on the cm too!

Fx it is pg hormones for you smidge good luck for Tuesday.

Still bleeding here, 5days now and only just 8dpo today so a bit concerned.

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend!

Hi berries, still keeping up with thread but nothing much to report this end.
Quick question...if when we get to ivf, our consultant said I'd go on norethisterone from day 19 but I can't see any info online that ties in with starting at that stage in cycle. Is it normal?
Can't believe weekend already over,hope you've had good ones. My colleague, who's on mat leave currently is bringing dd in to office tomorrow. Deep breaths. But they are ivfers so am pleased for them really.

Hi pixie I started taking drugs at that point to down regulate on long protocol IVF, it shuts all your normal monthly cycle down and puts you in a menopausal state so that they can control your cycle for IVF. Hope you don't get to it and get a FUFC instead.