The Elderberry Pavlovas are tooling up and making plans to bust out of this joint! Evacuation by helicopter by end of September, no berry left behind!

[barkingtreefrog]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

chloe so sorry you're having a shit time. I'd take the consent form tomorrow if I were you. Sounds like ttc pressure and you shouldn't letlet anger/upset cloud what you guys are aiming to do. pil's are a pain in the arse. Grr. Do you think it's worth a talk with eh tonight so you high don't go yo bed upset with eachother?

Ps. They're definitely bakewell tarts but with fresh fruit, chloe! Sending every Berrie in the world one by telepathy now!

chloe you poor thing. It sounds like it's just a stupid old argument at a time when you are both under a lot of stress. TTC is bad enough - but in-laws on top of that sheesh. It's more than anyone should have to bear all at once.

Hand the consent form in as planned (I'm assuming that's what you planned). You'll probably have stopped hating him quite so much by the time the FET comes around and will be looking forward to finally getting your baby together. And if by some strange chance you do decide that he's someone you never, ever want to see again, well then no one is going to physically force that FET on you - and any money that you've lost will be the least of your worries by that point.

And if you need him to sign the form then explain the above to him. And promise that if he still hates you by FET time that you will do the honourable thing and not go ahead - but could he just sign the form now on the off chance that he does decide between now and then that you're alright really.

This will pass. Can you go out for a walk or have a bath or something to relax a little bit until you feel better?

Hi berries.
I'm new around these parts (posting-wise) and feel a bit voyeuristic reading through all your posts, but please may I join if that's cool? You all seem so fupping lovely.

Big un-mumsnetty hugs to all you berries who need it (unfortunately a few at the moment). This ttc malarkey is so hard on relationships but we need to believe that our time will come and our oh/dh/dp's will make fantastic dads even if some of them are currently being dicks

My otd is the 9th chloe. Struggling to get my head around a 2ww where I actually have a real chance which is why I have not been posting. Boobs ache but I know that is the progesterone. Off to sleep before my alarm wakes me at 4.15am night all

Also welcome to crazy and kitten. I am also seeing a reflexologist crazy

Oh, chloe, I'm sorry things are tough for you. Ttc is a stressful time and there seem to be a couple of us feeling it particularly badly right now. Take the consent form tomorrow. It is one argument, really, he is still there with you, you love each other, this stress will pass and you will have a beautiful family together. Again, the most important thing is you love each other, I cannot stress this enough. and big hug from me.

Barking, totally agree with the others. Seeking an honest and open conversation is probably difficult but important for you. You've been through a really rough time. And your head is really unbelievable. It's really the school's loss.

Thanks for all the berry support. Thinking of you all. xx

Sorry to see we have so many glum berries today. Big hugs to rosie, chloe, hb and barking.
It is so hard to have honest conversations about all this bollocks, even with our other halves. I like to think MrP and I have a good, communicative relationship generally but he doesn't know half the stuff I witter on to you lot about. I hope you each manage to sort things out, and soon. And hb I hope you've stopped the shower now - the tears obviously needed to come out so don't fight them.

Welcome kitten! I note the 'of woe' at the end - care to share your ttc history with us? You'll get nothing but sympathy here!

FC is tomorrow, stupidly scheduled annual review with one of my team who's about to leave us on maternity leave just before I have to leave for the appointment. What was I thinking?!

Chloe don't go to bed cross with each other. Go and tell him just what you said above. You are worn down and scared and don't want to fight, but sometimes you find it hard to deal with his parents because you are feeling vulnerable. But you don't want to go to bed cross.

Then do the form..... Anger is a short madness and you will kick yourself in a week if you miss this chance!

Hi kitten what's your story?

Batking how are you today?

hb big hugs to you and don't beat yourself up about getting upset and ranting at people. I think we've all done it at.

Big hugs to you too Chloe. I hope you can make up before bed, as rp says going to bed angry isn't the greatest. What you are going through is hard, and the whole ttc experience tests us all. For me, I think the most difficult things is being unable to escape my own body or switch off from ttc. For men, there just isn't the same issue, and I think that's why it can become so difficult, as they can tune it out but we can't.

hi kitten I saw your other post and was going to suggest that you drop by here, as you fit the berry bill. You'll find lots advice and support from the lovely ladies on here.

rainy you are on the money. It's the hardest thing in the world to have honesty in tough situations, but is so needed.

Moi? Ah I'm not woe-ish in general, the name is a hark back to a very old web comic thingy from many moons ago but bless you sweetie for asking.
Sadly I am woelike currently though, due to - wait for it - ttc blues!
We got married last year, I came off the pill, and Husb and I have been ttc for 15 months now. No joy, 2 poss chems but I don't know as my cycle's gone crazily irregular. Went for blood tests on Wednesday and a downstairs MOT on Friday. Physical went fine, but my blood results weren't favourable: LH and FSH levels all wrong. The bloods were taken on day 23 (still no AF yet) so I don't know if that will have impacted it, but I got a LH reading of 36.6, FSH of 56.0, Dr advised poss polycystic ovaries or early menopause, awaiting a clinic referral now for more tests and a scan. Scared tbh, I'm 32 and bricking it.

tigerdog thank you love, I'm a lurker and a first-time poster as of today and didn't know the etiquetter, didn't like to barge in if you have a cosy set-up in place.
Thank you all for asking, it's a huge relief to find people to talk to tbh. Found this all out on Friday, and had a pre-arranged trip out to the zoo the following day with the in-laws for MIL's birthday. Including our three nephews and heavily preg SIL. Whom I all love, but... no, that was hard.

Hi Kitten! Welcome to Berry HQ, make yourself comfy. In terms of your LH and FSH tests, I would expect these to be done at around day 2 or 3 so I wouldn't read too much into the results just yet. Try not to worry too much until the tests are repeated, hopefully at the right time! What sort of cycle lengths have you had recently?

Hugs to the berries having a tough time of it at the moment.

Your FET sounds quite different to what mine will be Chloe. Is this a natural cycle FET? How many days is it since your embies were frozen. How many are they defrosting and how many will they put back? I'm sure you'll patch things up with DH and that this is just a blip as a result of all the stress you've been under over the last few months in particular.

Ahoy thar Gillster
Yeah I was going over and over my results printout and poring over everything I could find online, and the date thing just confused me thoroughly. I wasn't told to go on a specific day, just to book in for bloods, so then when I saw all the refs to set dates I just didn't get it at all.
Day 28 today and still nada with a BFN, last few have been 26, 28, 37 and 20. So err... yep! Hehe.
I apologise, didn't intend to burst in here and monopolise the chat btw.

Don't worry Kitten, we all have our moments of monopolising the chat!

I would definitely push for day 3 bloods to be taken as soon as AF rears her ugly head. Quite a few of the hormones are measured on this date to give a baseline response.

Between all of us, the Berries have a lot of knowledge!

Hey ladies, wobble over! Thanks for all the lovely supportive messages. It's good to know there are other people who understand. DH is supportive, but he just doesn't get how the whole TTC thing hangs over me all the time. I bet it's not the first thing he thinks of when he wakes up in the morning. tiger you hit the nail on the head that men can just switch it off. rp what an eloquent explanation, I wished I read that earlier.

As tempted as my Aries personality was to say sod the transfer and then go to Marbella on my friend's hen and get wasted I took your wise berry advice. We're all sorted now although we don't entirely see eye to eye as he can't accept that his parents are just fecking too much at times

rain Good luck with the FC tomorrow.

kitten Welcome! I have PCOS. It usually means high LH though compared to FSH which doesn't come out from your results. Try not to be worried, you're young and the important thing is you've made the step to get tested. There are lots of things which can be fixed fairly easily with bloodwork and an US.

gillster My FET is a bit weird as I was on holiday when the transfer would ordinarily have been. As I don't normally ovulate, the doc said I could start a medicated cycle after my hols, on CD24. turns out I may be about to ovulate after all, so he has given me medication but less than originally anticipated. We had 6 day 1 embies frozen at the end of May due to OHSS. The doc has advised we defrost all of them, as we have the possibility to freeze again any we don't need. Down for a day 5 transfer on Sat. Originally we planned on putting 1 back, but am now tempted to go with 2. The fertilisation rate was pretty rubbish from our cycle so am I worried we have crap eggs and/or sperm.

BTW was it you who did the pom pom dance for lumen, maybe you could bust it out again!?

Finally a huge berries thanks once again for your support tonight, I really needed it! You're a lovely bunch.

Ola kitten, it is lovely to have real people to talk to!

chloe the argument was nothing, you don't mean those things, it's just all the stress bubbling over. You sound very like a good friend of mine who has v similar pil. They too went on a hol with them and my friend wanted to kill them by end but yet husband was saying we should holiday with them every year!! I don't think we realise how annoying our family can be to other people. Do try to make up when you are calm. Dh and I have had some humdingers!

I think ttc is a v different for a man. We are more in tune with it because of all the monthly changes our bodies go through. My dh would say until I'd say my period had arrived he'd forgotten about it. I also found it frustrating that he wouldn't get cross about it. When I was angry he would just say the same old stuff but what I really wanted was someone to rail with me against the unfairness and have a good old rant.

feather you made me cry with what you said about your dh crying in the other room. But bit emotional today, seems catching in here doesn't it!!

Your FC's approach is completely different to mine Chloe. My clinic said they couldn't re freeze previously thawed embies (same rules as food). I imagine if they're going for a day 5 transfer then they would want to defrost all 6 to maximise the chances of this. My FC are going to defrost 4 of the 6, let them divide once (ie leave for a day), then pop 2 back in. Very different/inconsistent approaches.

I'll dust the pom poms off this weekend (as long as you can return the favour in August)

Thanks for all the support and advice as always, berries. Last night was busy so had a chat with DH this morning. All good. He explained that he doesn't think being off work at the moment is like a holiday for me at the moment, but he could see that I was upset by the email from my head so was trying to put a positive spin on it. He also said that I'm putting myself down too much and he only snapped on the ride (and given we were riding for 4.5 hours, I was weeping a lot of the way round and probably snapping at him, he did amazingly well to only snap once) because he doesn't think I've lost as much fitness as I think I have, and I did well to get round 57km off road, even if the total ascent wasn't much. He also told me to stop doing lots of cleaning and house jobs if I just wanted to chill out or go for a walk, I shouldn't feel guilty about just relaxing.

Rosie, hope you're feeling more positive.

feather any tarts left?

HB hope today is a much better day for you. I am on Orange and I have no signal in my house or at work. I'm nearing the end of my contract and they keep calling me to offer me stuff. Only they can't actually speak to me until I walk outside, or up to the attic bedroom. I then explain that the reason they can't get through is because I have so little signal calls go straight to voicemail, and I don't even know I've missed a call until I get back into reception. And then they try and persuade me to extend my contract!!!! I asked the last caller to put a note on my file stating that there was absolutely no point calling me because I wouldn't even accept a free contract from them given I can't make or receive calls from home or from work!!!

Thanks Chloe I got a lovely letter from the chair of governors saying how much she appreciated all the changes I've made in the school, and the deputy is great, very complimentary about me, so I know it's not me it's just the head. I'm being an inconvenience and she takes it personally, like I'm deliberately trying to make her life difficult. I replied to her email giving her all the information she asked for and didn't even get a reply. Letters went home yesterday to tell parents who was leaving so the children know now. Apparently they were all missing me and asking after me yesterday. My partner teacher suggested I came along when they're out at the park to watch birds and have a picnic in the last week of term so I can see the children and say goodbye properly without being in school. Fingers crossed it doesn't get rained off as that would be lovely.

I'm glad things are better this morning, I'll get my pom poms out for you as well. Possibly ovulating on your own sounds like progress, your body is just trying everything!! It'll wrap itself round those embies and get them all snuggled in. I think two is fair enough if you're not confident on quality and twins wouldn't be a nightmare scenario for you.
PiL are just a tricky area full stop, I envy those who get on brilliantly with their PiL and willingly spend loads of time with them. The consolation for me is that DH gets just as wound up by his mother as I do.

Got everything crossed for you lumen, I got the achy boobs with progesterone as well.

tiger, nail on the head there, it's the escaping your own body thing. They have nothing happening inside that's a constant reminder of where you are in your cycle, or for me at the moment, what you're losing/have lost. DH went swimming at the weekend and asked if I wanted to come. I asked if he thought it was socially acceptable to swim along leaving a trail of blood behind you?

kitten, welcome. Everyone's already said it but try not to read anything into the results until they've been done on the right day. Are you tracking your cycles? Bbt or opks? Your cycle might change length every month but your luteal phase is unlikely to alter more than a day, so once you can pinpoint ovulation you know when to expect AF. I had weird irregular cycles and this was the only thing that stopped me going loopy each time I had a longer cycle but was still getting bfns when I thought I was 4 days late.

gillster it's crazy, the huge differences in approach between clinics. I guess there are pros and cons each way and no overwhelming evidence to state conclusively that one way is best.

Phew, that took a while to catch up! Good job I'm off work or wouldn't be able to keep up!

Very happy to hear you and your dh have settled things batking, he sounds like a keeper

hallo berries

thanks for all the sympathy and support over the weekend, and sorry for not responding. I was at a wedding with no reception (full of pregnant people, natch) and in an open plan office since (not ideal for bunking off work). Ta for the tips on adenomyosis beaky and inositol feather?? seems to have eased off, but considering going and telling GP. Can't face the appointment at the moment.

onto round 4 of the dreaded clomid then. this month we'll be on holiday for shag week so hopefully… who am i kidding

Welcome Kitten, sorry you find yourself here but hope you get as much out of this lovely group as I do.

Sorry everyone's having such a miserable time at the moment. Barking i always feel like that on long bike rides, but as your dh said if you got round it you must be in pretty good shape really.Never gets easier, you just get quicker with biking. chloe, HB, rosie - big hugs for you all.

tiger totally agree about the being trapped by your biology. sometimes it's hard to be a woman.

hope your head is doing ok lumen for your 2ww.

hi everyone else - better do some work...

Awwwww Barking really glad to hear DH and you had a good chat, sounds like just what you needed. Similarly your partner teacher sounds lovely, hope you get the chance to join the picnic!

Nolly man that wedding sounds like it must have been a lot of fun... !

I've been using OPKs but hate them tbh and never get really clear results, so it might be time to switch to temping. Ooh and I got a letter this morning from the clinic down the road, got an ultrasound appt 4:30 tomorrow. Thankfully husb has been able to wriggle out of work early to come with me, I'm such a wibbly drama queen...

nolly been meaning to message you - posted it yesterday as spent the weekend festering! Should be with you today/tomorrow. xx