TTC 10 Months Plus, Supporting Eachother & Staying Positive :) new thread!!

[m33r]

Hopefully we'll see more BFPs on this one!

and may give him time to process it. in a week or two maybe broach it with him. yhe needs to keep talking and not hiding from it. its a bit of a joke with us now, but I guess humour is our way of dealing with it.

Bloody men! I too felt quite pissed off at DH last night, as yet again it was down to me to initiate things (can't remember the last time he made a move on me), and I just thought fuck it, I'm not ovulating yet and I really can't be arsed with this anymore. Probably a massive overreaction, but this whole ttc lark is really taking its toll. And now I'm awake in the middle of the night and can't go back to fucking sleep because I'm angry and annoyed with myself and him and the world in general...

woah yesterday was not a good day for any one!!

Including me AF turned up 2 days early after a week for feeling sick I was devastated I knew I shouldnt get my hopes up.

Vicky There is no way your DH thinks you are hideous some men just have low sex drives and now hes been told that his little men arent up to it thats a big thing for men to get over. Maybe treat him to a date night not ttc related extra and try to make him feel wanted.
I know its hard my dp goes through phases where he doesnt want any at all and it drives me mad and makes me feel like shit but I know deep down its not because of me.

Onto cycle 17 and im not really sure what to do with myself I cried a lot yesterday and told dp when we were going to step it up this month (fertile period is over his birthday aswell so gd timing).

Only 1 month till I go back to gynae and im having to step up my exercise im going to get up early everyday and exercise as well as cycle in the eves...Ive lost next to nothing grrrr

blue don't give up on the exercise. you could be losing next to nothing because you're building muscle instead. I've got back on the wagon today. trying a combo of low GI and calorie counting. and have dug my pregnacare vits out of the drawer. will be keeping tabs on dh taking his vit c and making him healthy lunches to take to work. I have 10 weeks before I go on holiday to Ibiza so that's one incentive, but this is my pre ivf diet now. I've decided instead of living month to month I'm going to welcome the witch each time and live by a 5month plan. this is my 5months to get into the best place we can be for ivf. I'm currently the heaviest I've ever been so time to rake control back. ladies, I think I found my PMA!

Sorry AF got you blueberry, it's always worse if you've got your hopes up for some reason or another.

I've been feeling pretty down today, probably because of my insomnia last night. I just can't shake the feeling that my mc and erpc in February has done some damage and now I won't be able to get pregnant again... this month is our last shot before I would have been due, and I don't think it's going to happen. Will probably get AF on my birthday as well.

Aww vic, hope you're having a better day today
It is a bit shit this long term ttc isn't it, I have days like that sometimes but after a couple of days and a talk with dh I'm sure you'll be feeling better.

Same to you may, we've not really had an in depth discussion about dh sa results as he doesn't seem to think there's much point in talking about it (men!) but he is taking the vits I've prescribed and following my healthy diet. Is there anything you can do that you're not yet? It seems men like an action plan type thing so if he has things he can do that night make him feel more positive?

Sorry about af blue :(

And sorry you're feeling rubbish too metal - sorry I can't keep everyone straight but are you having any treatment/under a gynae/doctor?

lil, I like your way of thinking, I just need to try and apply it to myself!

I haven't had any tests done yet cooper but will go back to my GP after this cycle and push for initial blood tests and whatever else they do as it'll have been six months of perfectly timed sex since the mc, and I will be 35 next month. Hopefully he will agree, if not we might go private.

So sorry to see all the sad news over this weekend ladies...we're really all beating ourselves up about this aren't we. There must be a better way - someone please tell me when they find it...

I'm 99% sure I haven't ov'd this month and yet I've had another mini-period which I can't make head nor tail of?

DH has his sa on Wednesday so I may need all your advice on that soon, depending on the results. TBH it's only really just hitting me what it may mean if it's bad news.

Wishing you all a peaceful evening, try and be nice to yourselves x x

Thanks Cooper. After the bad 1st result dh has tried all sorts. .. He gave up alcohol which was a big deal for him, started on wellman vits and even having tomato soup everyday.
Sadly 2nd result was even worse.

I can't quite come to terms with it though. I keep saying to myself that we cannot conceive in the hope it will sink in. At the moment I keep crying but at the same time am still planning when to dtd to align with ov. Ridiculous!

Lil - we all need some of that pma to rub of on the rest of us!

may here's a bit more PMA for you. it takes 3months to replace sperm so the 2nd sa probably wouldn't have been affected by the changes he made after the first. its OK to cry, and to need time to accept it. I think it is a type of grief we are dealing with because I've reached anger and keep getting utterly peeved at the unfairness of it all. hopefully I'll reach acceptance one day!

Laura mini AF? on what CD? blue didn't you have something similar before you're body sorted out getting ovulating? i can't quite remember but hoping its a good sign for you Laura

metal fx the gp does his/her job.

vic how u doing today?

Hi girls, sorry to hear some of you are also feeling shite right now. I blame it on the rain after such a sunny summer!

Sorry af got you blue it sounded so promising :-(

Infertility is such a hard thing to get your head around may. I still cry and feel angry, and prob always will! Ovulating actually makes me sad as I know its just a waste of egg. I'm finally ovulating today! Day 19! I blame stress as I've also got eczema coming up. Usually ov before cd16.

Why won't men talk to us?! Me and dh had a 'near fatal' argument last night :-( told him I didn't feel loved or desired, he said love had nothing to do with desire, I said if you love me you wouldn't make me feel unwanted blah blah. He said he's crap and useless and ruined my life and what's the point of him even being alive. Serious shit.

Hi Ladies - I'm new here, I've been reading a lot but this is my first post. A little bit about me, I'm almost 32 and I have been married 6 yrs. we have been TTC for 11 months and I'm starting to lose hope. I have spotting a week before my period religiously, my GP has said it is cervical entropic and that it shouldn't interfere with fertility, but if I'm having a mini period 7 DPO I'm not sure how it couldn't affect my fertility. Anyways, I've now been referred to a gyno so I will wait and see what they have to say, however, it won't be for approx 4 months. Anyways - looking forward to joining his convo, it's refreshing to know there are others with the same struggles.

Hi Shan sorry to see you here, but nice to meet u at the same time ;-) Most of us seem to have been married 6 years. Something about 2008 bringing us here?! I can't advise you much as our problems conceiving are male factor, although I'm always monitoring changes in my cycles like a hawk! Hope you find answers here on your road to a bfp!

I think that's for the best metal, don't take no for an answer!

Aww no vic :( the stress of ttc does weird things to us, I'm sure it's just getting to him and he doesn't know how else to show it.

How long have you been trying for? (Sorry to ask) is there any way you could take a month or two "off" and see if you and dh can have some couple time?

My husband is having SA on Friday. He's a smoker and does not eat well, so I'm interested to see what it says.

Oh Victoria sorry to hear you had an extra shitty couple of days :( I think the stress of 'this' all is getting on top of everyone now. I really hope you manage to work through things - I think the suggestions from Cooper are great - making a nice dinner or having a couple of months off would give you the breathing space and head space you need? Infertility holds life hostage really doesn't it.

I also hate how the monthly window is so small and then we have a row - makes me not want to dtd and then i feel like we've majorly put ourselves out till next month. So frustrating.

Welcome Shan we're all on roughly the same path and it's great to have the mutual support needed to get through it.

Lil I don't think i ov'd this month and it started on CD21. TMI but was only watery red when i wiped no need even for a pad. It's all cleared up again now leaving cm but not ewcm. Got a really tense back too. We've got our first fertility appt at hospital next Wednesday so I think i'll do a cheapie test the night before just to rule it out when we go. DH has his first sa tomorrow which i'm ribbing him mercilessly about tonight :) got to laugh at some things hey?! Cheers to PMA!!!

Laura its good that you can be light hearted about it and take the Micky a bit. how long until you get sa results? fx you are one of those who gets their bfp right before the appt.

welcome shan. sorry you find yourself on this long road with us but at least you will find yourself in good company now . will certainly be interesting to see how your dhs results are. we have male factor issues here and my dh is very healthy, eats very well, has never smoked, hasn't drunk alcohol for about 12 years other than the odd glass at crimbo so it just goes to show even if you do everything right or wrong sometimes nature has different ideas!

vic I think you definitely need to take a ttc break and try and rediscover each other. its easy to see why these things break so many couples apart, but you can get through it. if you can get through this you two will be fearless against the world together. when you have your appointment I'd ask if your clinic offer counselling, a lot do. it might help your dh to talk about it to someone other than you. maybe he could start a thread on mn to find some other men going through the same? I'm sure I've seen some men around here somewhere i know my dh has turned to the internet alot fir rhings he can do to improve things. i know you xan change the sperm meets blood thing, but i imagine he can still be doing things to get them to their best for retrieval. chances are they will obtain them from the source rather than "manually" to give you the best chance fir ivf. I hope you're OK

Hi everyone

Hubby has his 2nd sa on the 20th then we have our first clinic appointment on Sept 2nd. No rest for the wicked! After our massive argument dh has been extra clingy again and I even got home to find the hoovering done yesterday! I've banned him from computer games unless I'm out without him. We need to fuss over each other in the build up to appointments and treatment. And yes our clinic offers counselling :-)

About the sex thing, I've read that regular eod type sex throughout the month can improve his sperm. 100% were antibody bound at his sa. Regular sex is meant to prevent the antibodies binding so much giving us a chance. A girl on my fb page said her dh had 100% and they went for it big time for a few months and got it down to 95% and she's now preg! All we were doing at the height of ttc was 4 times in fertile week and nothin rest of month! Dh isn't interested in tryin it though. Seems he'd rather put me through ivf :-(

Vic does he actually realise what ivf means for you? I think my dh assumed he'd just wank in a pot and they'd put it in me and poof there'd be s baby. it wasn't until I explained all the drugs, injecting myself, regular hospital spots for monitoring scans etc that he began to realise what I'm going to have to go through compared to him.

I'm sure he knows lil he's just too lazy to shag me

oh Vic I wish I lived closer so I could take you out for a meal and a bottle or 3 of wine and put the world to rights.

Vic does your dh suffer depression? Some of what you've said makes it sound like it. It can make it impossible to act even when you know the impact of not acting (if that makes sense)
Some CBT might help him if so although it does take some hard work from him.

In the meantime wine is definitely a good solution for you and at least he's trying even if it's not the way he should be!

Welcome shan. Sorry to see you here. My dh is incredibly healthy and his only vice was a few drinks which he has now stopped but still ended up with 0 swimmers! Don't read too much into the lifestyle stuff as Lil says it doesn't seem to matter!

Laura well done for keeping laughing and fx for both test and appointment.

I'm still very up and mostly down. Trying hard to focus on my health and get myself as healthy as possible whilst I wait for contact from the hospital. Just wish I knew what I the process was or even should be. Feel in complete limbo now the referral is in. At least with the gp bit I knew Thanks to everyone here What should happen and when!

Victoria he could just have a w*nk some of the times ;) maybe a happyish medium!?

Thanks Lil - he did his stuff earlier and dropped it off at hosp, managed to forget his paperwork so had the added humiliation of filling in another form with someone telling them all the gory details of when etc hahaha that'll learn him!! My DH is incredibly lazy but understands what he has to do and what I may have to do are worlds apart. He has a terrible diet so am wondering what the result will be. We think we'll get them in our first fertility appt on Weds 20th which I'm weirdly looking forward to!

Hope all you girls are well tonight! Xx

Got my first fertility appointment through but have to wait until 16th September. At least I know the referral has gone in OK now.

Good luck for his results Laura and the appointment.