The Berries: The one where The Berries cease to exist after a spate of waxy knicks and a'hem seepage (thread 20)

[funkymonk]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooooh aren’t we strict!

Consumables are always a good thing, lumen

Got the day off work, I'm 4dpo and I find myself studying bfp temp charts online. While the sun shines outside. There is something not right about this!!

I agree, champagne or a nice bottle of wine sounds good to me.

Glad it all went okay barking, now the 2ww madness starts!

We've all been there feather. Go out for a nice walk

tiger we said no gifts, and the vast majority did what they were told and just came with a card, which is exactly what we expected. A few friends bought us ticketmaster vouchers, and we had two lots of vouchers for local restaurants as well, and some for an outdoor shop. We were also given dollars for our honeymoon and someone else had used a photo of our dog from fb and had a sketch done by an artist. There was also a bottle of wine 'to be opened on your 5 year anniversary'.

The other way round, we went to a wedding at the weekend that didn't have a gift list so I knitted hats for the bride and groom. In the past I've knitted novelty bride and grooms for other couples, relevant to them.

Of all the gifts we got that we didn't ask for I loved the restaurant vouchers .

Forgot to add that our strangest 'off-list' present was a Ghanaian fertility statue - it obviously doesn't work

Ha ha lumen are you sure you're using it right. we've got a South Pacific fertility statue from friends who went there on their honeymoon, it's hiding at the back of a display cabinet as it's got a massive wang!! God damn, maybe I should get it out and put it out pride of place... Is it wrong that I am seriously considering this!!!

So went in to work today, did feel a bit tearful but got past that. Our clinic has a local satellite clinic where we've had most of our treatment bar ec and et so that's where I have to ring but I have to go via a secretary and then wait for the nurses to phone me back so not the best. Didn't get to speak to anyone til lunch time. Anyway she said I should wait til Friday and test again as will know for sure by then, if it's a positive then I am pg, if negative then I probably was pg but the bleeding was a period. Either way I am to let them know, if + then they'll get me in to have a look. So that's it, just have to wait. Wish this bleeding would stop and do so hope that it's just an over active burrower but could well be period.

I just feel it's so unfair, our hopes were raised with the bfp and it just seems so cruel if I am losing it/ lost it. I keep thinking what have I done wrong. I went to my chiropractor on weds and was really knotty so she used acupuncture. I'm now thinking was it that. Dh says it couldn't possibly be that, nurse said did I say I was trying to get pg to chiro, I said no, I just didn't think, well i did but then I didn't say anything. If it's not taken then now I'm thinking does it mean I've also got problems holding onto an embryo/pg. they said all along how well it was going- good egg haul and quality, good sa, day 5 transfer so good blastocyst, good transfer and a good lining. The original doctor we first saw for fertility problems told me after dildocam what a good uterus I had, perfect for a baby, we've just got to get it in there! So to have this disappointment makes you question what went wrong but equally my dh said don't think like that as there was only 30-40% chance of it working so maybe the 60-70% kicked in this time. Also we chatted, he's a bit gutted but we've got to stay positive, it could be good news, also if negative then at least there are some things we could try and pay for like a scratch or embryo glue and they're not too expensive.

I'm now having a lie down on sofa and dh cooking tea, felt I should take it easy. Thanks for all your comments and obv if I'm not up to it I won't go to work but in some ways it helps to keep my mind off it. Today wasn't too bad, I have a student so she taught this afternoon and I've sat down more thn I would normally and have tried to take it a bit easier. Friday, new test day, I have a non teaching day so if bad news I may take it at home if needs be and then it's half term. We are meant to be going camping bank holiday w/e so it could be good to take mind off it too.

Acupuncture is unlikely to have done harm - there is only one treatment, for helping your period come along if you are totally stagnated, that they usually ask you to take a pregnancy test before administering. Chiropractic care is where you have to be careful and should always tell them if you think you could be pregnant, but then again, they would have had to do some pretty serious cranking for it to be a concern.

Bushy it's easy for me to say but it's really not worth thinking about. It might have done something, it most probably didn't have any effect at all, but it's done now anyway so it doesn't matter. There's nothing logical or predictable about any of this so stop beating yourself up.

My mate found out she was (unintentionally) pg at 4 months. She was 19 at the time. During those 4 months she drank loads, went clubbing, took drugs, smoked and had even had surgery! She had no idea she was pg and did nothing different. Her son is absolutely fine and now plays his sport for the national team.

I'm not even PUPO, I'm PP (potentially pregnant), and I'm agonising over whether to continue to cycle a couple of miles to work and back or drive instead!! When you try and step back to see the bigger picture it's pretty ridiculous, but after what we've gone through to get here it's inevitable.

I've got everything crossed that it's good news on Friday . I can't offer you so have a instead. Hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmellows .

DH cracked open a beer tonight with glee. He's 'done his bit' now. Having injected myself for 11 days and had loads of scans and blood tests, I've now started on the pessaries . And I'm still off the alcohol. With any luck I'll be off the alcohol for the next 9+ months! Oh to be a man and just have a wank .

Barking how can you? Don't you know men have to fret constantly over the condition of their wanking hands? DH keep looking mournfully at his splinter.

Today I caught him looking at a pot of spilt sour cream in the supermarket and he said darkly "It's making me think of Weds".

Anyhow congrats..... Bring on the 2ww!

Bushy, I'm so sorry. I guess you just need to go with it. But that must feel close to impossible right now. Fx for Friday. At least you will know.

Oh my gosh rp my work colleague had a splinter in her thumb today and I had to stop myself regaling the splinter wank story!
Love the dark look at the sour cream.

Thank you barking v sensible advice! and indeed since what we go through the worrying is inevitable. I've avoided yoga because of this, I'm kinda glad I have otherwise I'd be beating myself up thinking it was the yoga. Perhaps take it more gently as you want to feel you've given it your best shot and like someone else said go for walks if you feel the need for exercise. Good luck & hope it all works out well. Mmm hot chocolate and marshmallows sounds lovely.

I indeed will try to go with it, there's nothing I can do and getting angsty won't help.

bushy you've got the right approach, just take it easy and try not to over think easier said than done keeping everything crossed for you.

Thanks for the wedding present advice. It would easier if they had asked for presents or honeymoon contributions! Was also thinking champagne but OH pointed out that loads of people may well think the same (there will be 140 at the wedding) and they might end up with loads of booze (and they are not wine drinkers).

They really don't need anything and are very well off,, so perhaps we will take them at their word and not buy a gift, the invite is so clear about not wanting anything. Feels wrong though. Have emailed some other friends to see what they are doing. Don't think I'll be getting a well-endowed fertility statue though nolly!

Just making some granola from the honestly healthy book. It's in the oven....smells good! Breakfast sorted for this week!

gah! stupid phone lost message.

bushy, what a tough time you're having. so unfair. I'm really impressed with your rational attitude to.it all. not easy at all. will be wishing good news for you all week.

I'd love to take credit for the enormous fertility wangs Tiger but I think that was lumen! re weddings, I tend to go for experience gifts eg foodie tours.

lots of us on the tww now eh? bring it on!

RP, you crack me up every time!

Sorry for all the uncertainty Bushy particularly when your hopes have been raised. Let's hope your embie is an over active burrower and will keep everything crossed for Friday.

PP Barking, must be a bit strange but fingers crossed. Your egg and DH's swimmers could be getting jiggy as we speak!

Hope the 2WW not going too slowly for you HB.

Hi to everyone else!

bushy you're being so gracefully calm about your situation. I really do hope that all works out for you and that Friday confirms your bfp.

rp your oh and the pot of sour cream story made me snort loudly in public.

G'day everyone else! Off to acupuncture now.

Hiya, hope you are all well!

bushy thinking of you

Just to let you all know we have another berry baby - babykitty arrived today

Nawwww bunny, that's great news! Congratulations blindkitty!!

Aww congratulations to Kitty that's lovely news!

RP I also laughed out loud at the sour cream! Bless him.

Bushy hope the spotting is stopping but thinking of you and crossing my fingers.

Barking fx for you and hope your 2ww goes very quickly. HB how are you getting on?

Sorry I've missed loads, will try to catch up later this evening.

Arr a berry baby, def pleased about that. Hmm, not sure about gracefully calm feather but thank you for the compliment.

I don't think things are good at all. Felt quite sore this afternoon, bleeding had continued. Ok big fat tmi alert: Took it easier at work, went to the loo and the sanitary towel was pretty much soaked but not leaking, just needed changing and there was a very strange whiteish lump on my sanitary towel, about an inch long, rubbery looking, like a bit of fat on some meat- yuk I know. I don't know what it is but I think it could be our embie or would that be nowhere that size? I just looked at it and thought it's all over, that's our little embie. I have kept the towel just in case nurses needed to see it. I had a little cry in the toilet, had to get it back under control as work with lots of other adults and didn't want to say why I was crying and also when I cry you can really tell! Anyhow said to my TA that I wasn't feeling well and would prob go home early after end of day. She said she too felt ill last week, hmm not like this I thought! Anyway I had some small things to do after work and I actually found it better as my mind was taken off it. I thought if I go home all I will do is sit there and cry for 2 hours til my husband comes home. So I stayed at work. I feel quite ginger if you know what I mean and really bloated.

Anyone got any good luck stories after finding this kind of thing in your pants? What else could it be? Think it's game over, if so ,I really want to know why. I know it sounds stupid to blame the chiropractor and acupuncture... Maybe I can't hold onto babies, maybe it wasn't a healthy one so nature's way and all for a reason. Just feel it's so unfair, we came so close and it was such a long journey and to think we've got to go back and do it all over again. I only really had a day to be excited about this until it all started going tits up.

Can I ask advice, if I have miscarried and I do a pg test on Friday is it going to say pg? Have heard of this happening to people who've had to have erpc's when baby has stopped growing and they've had to have it removed. I will try to put this on the copter thread in case anyone can shed any light.

bushy so, so sorry you are having such a shit time. When will you get to see a nurse or someone? It seems ridiculous that you have to wait till Friday. I totally empathise with you feeling it so unfair, because it bloody well is. I had an ectopic last November and had only found out a few days before that I was pregnant and then the bleeding came. I was devastated and terrified of losing my last remaining tube. The pregnancy hormone (hCG) stayed in my system for a couple of weeks so I was, depressingly, getting bfps throughout that time.

Sending you Berrie power and all the luck in the world and still really hoping this embie sticks.

Bushy I'm so sorry to read your post. I've never been pg so have no advice or knowledge about the pg test on Friday; it may be worth another call to the clinic. Hugs x

Bushy I've never been.pregnant But surely a 2-3 week old embie would be invisible? really hoping things come right for you x

Oh bushy I'm so sorry if it hasn't stuck. Did you call FC again?

Bushy, so sorry you're going through this. I had a missed miscarriage (mmc) in feb. I needed an erpc as my body hadn't registered the pregnancy had stopped. I got positive pregnancy tests for about 2 weeks afterwards, but they were definitely lighter, so you could tell the hcg was leaving my system rather than increasing. It really is unfair. If this is a miscarriage, and we don't know yet, I very strongly believe that it was nothing you did... Not acupuncture, not the chiropractor. Big hugs.

bushy sending you lots of hugs and positive vibes xx

Big hugs bushy. Have no more advice sorry. We are all here for you. xxx