The Berries: The one where The Berries cease to exist after a spate of waxy knicks and a'hem seepage (thread 20)

[funkymonk]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooooh aren’t we strict!

Rain I think everyone has those thoughts; it's a protective mechanism. Good on you for getting the packing done so early!

Sorry raindrop had cross post with you. Have a lovely holiday. You're not alone thinking those thoughts. I also have traitor thoughts of how much easier things would be if we didn't want a family. Travel where we want, go out when we want, have lie in's when we want. Of course having a baby outweighs those things, but in difficult times we think why?

Bushy is it test today tomorrow? Have you pimped at all yet or are you being good?

funky the policy is linked to your location, so your entitlement only changes if you move area - the clinics are all following the same rules. Where I live the whole region is aligning their policies to offer only a single cycle of IVF. I have thought about moving back home if it came to it. Are you in London? Access to healthcare in London is much better than in the rest of the country due to the concentration of large and powerful specialist hospitals and a disproportionate share of nhs cash.

Thanks for the endo feedback everyone. I called the FC and left a message to book in for the laparoscopy. Should be done within the next couple of months then back to the FC at beginning of September. I have terrible af pain today too- nothing works not even the classic ibuprofen and paracetamol combo. Eating a whole bar of cadbury's bubbly with white chocolate did help a little bit . The wheels have fallen off my health kick a little bit...hmmm.

rain it's totally normal to think that!

Barking thanks for the info. I can't believe you've had to go 7 times in 2 weeks! I just don't know if I can manage that with work. Feel stressed at the thought! Good news on your follicle, if your procedure ends up being Friday then at least you have the weekend to chill. Have they told you about when to test? My information says 16 days after, that will kill me!

RP sounds like your timings were spot on this month. Hopefully it'll be your month!

Funky baby aspirin from 7 dpo might be best to keep it limited. If you have good quality eggs anyway I'd think it should be fine?!

Rain I'm with HB I think it's a defensive thing. I do it too and convince myself of this lovely childless life we could have. Hmm. Won't be putting that in the welfare of the child forms!

Tiger come to the lovely industrial and bleak north east as saturdays guardian would have you believe you get 3 rounds of IVF and there's barely any waiting list. no clomid either to be honest I think they like to just get on with things.

rp I know! It's come round so quick! I really do hope it's a 'lovely' birth story but guessing I'm not going to be sneezing her out!!!

I'm in the north west Tiger. 2 rounds after 2 years ttc and then you pay for any frozen cycles. And to think some medical professionals (like RP's GP) maintain there is no postcode lottery... Your bubbly chocolate is making my mouth water!

Beaky how long is your form filling, before you can start the IUI? I have no idea about my egg quality. I was meant to have a hycosy but then got pregnant and they said that meant I didnt need it anymore. No one has ever taken a look about my tubes or anything. I guess that would be done if we went for IVF?

Hope you're feeling good HB.

Projects sausage signal to Bushy to tell us if tomorrow is test today.

Otters and Lady, if you are reading then we are all thinking of you and wishing you return to chat with us soon.

Haha! Gool luck kitty. I remember the day you got your BFP! Feels like yesterday. Ain't nothing quite like a Berry BFP.

Rosie you have to be married? Arses. My oh works for nhs and to be allowed to move we had to prove we were in long term relationship by scanning bank statements. Discriminatory much?

Sorry you're feeling down rain...we all get it.

Really good luck for tomorrow, barking.

Ladybros, I am in a foul f*cking mood tonight. Clomid round two may have brought over forward by 5!!! days (CD12) or at least so ff and ewcm would have me believe. Which means I'm out for another month as I'm 250 miles away from my jizz-dispenser, who is also on nights so I won't see him till the weekend. Added to which one of my sisters who is staying in same house tonight is talking loudly on phone to evil instadiff x2 sister who hasn't spoken to me for 4 years. I don't know why, and she won't tell me, but rest of family behave as if it's my fault and I'm just jealous. As she's a psychotic witch from hell (genuinely. Makes up incidents to keep mother angry with me. Really odd. ) and has recently named child after members of the royal family I can assure all that is not the case.it would just be nice to have even a tiny amount of support from my family. Classic example: I had a query early mc in july. That week, Sister 1 is phoned by evil sister, with diff news- who then talks about it in front of me for ages IN MY OWN goddamn house. They all know I'm ttc but that doesn't stop then constantly talking about my niece and nephew who I'm never likely to meet the whole bloody time.

Sorry for the long selfish rant but it's been eating away my whole life all day. Hope you don't mind, it's a relief to get it off my chest.

hopefully I am just going mad about ov dates because of commute and new job stress. Oh get a grip.

X post funky. I'm nw too. Can't believe you've never had tubes done! Are you tempted to push for it?

Forgot to say, thinking of you HB. And rp your gp must have had a rather sheltered life...!

Oh nolly. I don't blame you for being in a foul mood. As if your oh being away at peak time isn't enough, you have to deal with evil sister. Have you spoken to your mum to see if she can shed any light on what you have allegedly done to cause the feud? Anyone who hasn't had ttc worries genuinely doesn't understand the real depth of feelings associated with it and the emotions involved. I know for sure that all my instadiffer friends don't get it in the slightest and say insensitive things around me. barking has had the same with a good friend (?bridesmaid) of hers. Don't have any helpful advice for you I'm afraid, so sending you a big hug and some

Thanks funky... empathy and wine sound perfect! So kind. After all not much anyone can do eh ;) Just getting it off my chest to a kind audience really helps.

Unlike my mother, who has taken sides against me as long as I can remember. She's officially mad (Current diagnoses include ptsd, psychosis, borderline personality) which explains a lot about my family. But also not a very nice person. Some people just need a scapegoat/ someone to blame. I realise all this sounds v dramatic and self-pity but it's about as objective as I can get esp when missing shag week AGAIN

Hi Ladies - I've not been on for a while now as I am trying to reduce stress and I find being on these boards all the time makes me focus too much on what I can't control.

Anyway i need some advice, I had a 24 day cycle, recently and next cycle I got a peak opk on cd9, I didn't feel the usual ov cramp either. That cycle was 25 days in the end, and here I am new cycle on cd8 and I've just got a high opk!

My cycles vary from 24 to 30 days. If I don't get ov pains again this month I'll be of the suspicion I don't ov when I'm on a short cycle. I'm thinking my cervix just isn't ready so early so I'm not releasing an egg. I didn't get EWCM last month and none so far this.

Does this make sense? Am I jumping the gun? I've been waiting for the 6 months point to go via NHS, but I'm 38. I feel like going private now.

Ohhhm (attempting yoga breath to calm the fuck down)

Your two pennies would be greatly appreciated!

Families eh? Sorry for the downer and I'll try and buck up overnight (reading Mitford who is rubbing off on my idiom). Night all

I don't think it's self pity at all nolly. Sounds like you've been having a tough time and it's good to talk and vent a little. Doesn't seem like there's too much point in speaking with your mum. Seems like she may be a bit unreasonable. Sorry that you're having to put up with all that.

I did write a post asking where you were in the nw and to say that we will try another couple of cycles and if no success then go for ivf when I assume they will check tubes when fiddling with my ovaries, but that post seems to have vanished somewhere. Odd.

RP glad basting is going well! I say it doesn't matter how we get there as long as we get there in the end.

nolly sorry for evil sister and family stress

rain happy holiday!

Hi viper. Some months I get ov pains and other months I don't. I'm not sure it that means anything. The cycle I had my post ov progesterone tested it was good, confirming ovulation, but of course that is only one cycle. I believe that after around 35 years some cycles will be annovulatory I think the word is and an egg won't always be released. Regarding early ovulation that is not a problem that I'm aware of. The time from ovulation to af is the important one. All of the women on this thread have been trying for a year or more. Some for more than 2 years, so we all have dodgy cycles for one reason or another!

Oh, nolly, so sorry to hear about evil sister and difficult mother. Families can be tricky. I guess, this is when my traitor thoughts about not having children come in... how can I make sure that my kid(s) won't be evil to each other or disappointed in me? Anyway, sending virtual hugs and positive vibes that you can see that, while you may have to deal with the situation at hand, their issues are really theirs and not yours. Be kind to yourself.

Thanks, lovely ladies, for offering a place to vent. Am trying to vent less and hope more (if that makes any sense). I've been talking myself into a really dark place over the last weeks when I really need a change of perspective to focus on the positive things. So that is the new plan. Positive thoughts, lots of them which would include , , , , more ...

Good luck tomorrow, bushy, keeping everything crossed.

Viper, sorry but I have very little advice to offer on the opk mystery. I would go to see a doctor and not waste any time, if necessary private if you can afford.

beaky I hope it's not 16 days later, I'll be on a school residential trip! There's no way I won't have pimped by 14dpo....

The queue is a funny thing, I suppose it means those most desperate to get to work get to turn up early and be seen first?
The strangest thing about all this is the time in the waiting room. Everyone in there is waiting for a scan or blood test because they're in the middle of IUI or IVF. It's quite bizarre to look around and think that all these couples, different ages and backgrounds, are all basically going through the same thing, and they've all been trying unsuccessfully for more than 2 years. Quite sobering. Makes a change from sitting at the doctor's surrounded by buggies and pg women.

nolly you rant away. There is nothing to be done when it's family, just suck it up, take a deep breath and rise above it. Even those that should understand don't get it. As funky mentioned, I was minus a bridesmaid at my wedding (although I replaced her with a much nicer one ) because she got pg with twins and I wasn't convincing enough when I congratulated her. She had been trying 2 years, same as I had at the time, and was constantly crying about other people being pg. I was still raw from my mc but managed to tell her how happy I was for her, she deserved it etc. However I should have done better apparently and she wasn't going to be made to feel guilty for being pg. So she uninvited me to her birthday (because they were going to be talking about babies and it wasn't fair of me to expect her not to, regardless of the fact that I'd not even mentioned it) and didn't come to my wedding. Of all the people you would have thought she'd understand. But no.

viper I'm going to sound like a bitch but are you sure you're on the right thread if you haven't even tried 6 months yet? We've all been ttc for over a year minimum (it's the thread criteria), quite a few of us more than 2 years having been diagnosed with infertility and going through IVF or IUI..... if you're worried I suggest you go to your doctor and see if you get one who will listen before you've been trying 6 months. Or as someone else suggested, if you have the money go private and get all the tests.

rosie and sound very good . Is it bad that I'm missing already?!

Hi - I didn't include full info as I didn't want to write too long a message, I had a miscarriage in Feb, and so have been trying for longer than 6 months, but mc puts me back to square 1 with NHS.

rosie I know exactly what you mean about worrying your kids will be horrible or fall out with you when older or just not bother with you after all of this effort to get them in the first place! Still not a good way to think. I like your positivity.

Can't remember who said it but know exactly what you mean about being conflicted about having children. I expect the others are right, it is a bit of a self preservation thing and also it's what all sprogged up people think about us- that we're free to do whatever we like, have big lie ins, have hangover pyjama days, go out to nice restaurants etc etc. They also say oh yeah leave it for as long as you can, they can't see the irony!!

nolly crikey sounds really difficult. There's a saying that we can't choose our family but friends are the family we choose .

So, it's test day tomorrow! Eek!! Been putting it to the back of mind but glad we're almost there. Work has been mega busy which has helped keep my mind off it. My lovely dh sent me a lovely text message earlier with a photo of his reminders 'pt' is now the top of his list!! He said something about how this date has been looming and he's nervous and excited about which way it'll go. We had a chat and he said how it will be sad if it doesn't work out and also about how much he's been missing dtd!! We've gone from ttc shag weeks to nothing for over 2 weeks. Obv think men miss it more than women, or maybe that's just me. He said he doesn't want it to be sad sex if it's a negative, I said I don't think there'll be any sex we'll be too depressed and if positive I'll be a bit scared of dislodging anything!!

One good thing- no more bum bullets- yay!!

Anyhow thanks for the good wishes. Will let you know tomorrow x

Ah, usual berry protocol is to read 'the rules' (ttc first child for more than a year etc) at the top of the thread to check you qualify then do a quick introduction so we know your ttc background and can add you to the list. If you've read the thread you'll see our list further up. If you have been ttc over a year in total does that mean you'd already had all your tests done after 6 months ttc before you got pg? Is it just since the mc your cycles have changed? I got pg with clomid after almost 2 years ttc then had a mc. It took me 4-5 months (and accupuncture) before my cycles came back properly, and they still aren't 'normal'.

Oo, xpost bushy, everything crossed for you tomorrow!!!!! How have you managed not to pimp this morning?!?!

Just trying to be patient and not jumps the gun barking. Dh did say why don't you do one tonight but he is a bit impatient, always likes to open Xmas presents before Xmas but I like to wait. Deferred gratification or whatever they call it!! Dh is snoring away, think I might find it hard dropping off !!