My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Conception

Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

999 replies

Minion · 27/04/2014 04:05

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.


JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is Here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here

Happy shagging shaggers!
OP posts:
Report
KatoPotato · 12/05/2014 21:59

Without knowing I mean.

Purple, my fanjo is bollickle free and worthy wearing skin tight disco pants... Might have been obsence - not to mention painful with old gym in tow!

Report
Purplecircle · 12/05/2014 22:10

Glad to hear it Kato :-)

Report
Lala5 · 12/05/2014 22:16

just laughed so much at this fred the cat got up from my lap in disgust

Report
Lala5 · 12/05/2014 22:18

Follicle bollicle ha ha ha ha I loved that!

wil if I've got to 6 months upduffed then surely I'm champion JSing threadder? As no symptom spotting, POAS-ing, obsessing or OPKing. Boom!

Report
DulcetMoans · 12/05/2014 22:24

Hey purple! Welcome! If the conversation accidentally turns to sticks and numbers just ignore and pretend you can't see it!

A colleague emailed me a link with photo of Jason Doner Van in it last week - was it secretly one if you?!

Report
Lala5 · 12/05/2014 22:32
Report
Purplecircle · 12/05/2014 22:33

Thanks for the welcomes, it's appreciated
I'm already feeling educated thanks to you all
Fanjos, flange wankers, kebab vans and acronyms...every days a school day :-)

Report
wilhelminand · 12/05/2014 22:38

Lol Dulcet, wasn't me but imagine if you found out a colleague was another JSer.

I'm only about 3 pages into follicle bollicle but am very disturbed. It sounds v painful, but worse than this, what is with all the freaks getting excited over pus? That gives me the boak.

Can't believe you got to 5 months pg without realising. That's crazy.

Report
RPopz · 12/05/2014 23:04

I couldn't read half of that bollicle thread cos it made me cringe so hard... but was strangely disappointed I missed the picture! Shock Blush Grin

Report
Nessalina · 12/05/2014 23:11

I think respect is totally due to you Wil - getting all the way to the shop and resisting buying the pricey pee sticks!! Shock
I'd be going mad with your cycles viroids - a week over is crazy before!! TTC can mess you about though, so maybe it was a super late icing? I'd give it a day or two more then head to the GPs. Got everything crossed for you!!! Smile
Kato - finally caught up on your fred, I have such respect for your pain threshold!! Booo to MNHQ for not putting it in Classics!

Report
Lala5 · 12/05/2014 23:14

Can someone post link to bollicle follicle it can't find it

Report
Lala5 · 12/05/2014 23:18

Found it but I can't read it - makes me laugh too much. Bless you kato Grin

Report
Purplecircle · 12/05/2014 23:43

Random question...what's FRER?
Ta

Report
Nessalina · 12/05/2014 23:44

First Response Early Response - best ever pee stick. Pricey but worth it, I got a strong line at only 12dpo!

Report
Nessalina · 12/05/2014 23:44

Helloooo by the way Smile

Report
lil1ady · 12/05/2014 23:50

free is actually first response early result

before I was 2weeks late when a started ttc with bfns I wouldn't bother with go just yet, they will just tell you to give it more time if you are getting bfns. fx for you and wil still tho.

hi purple. good luck getting up to speed! flange wanker was what min called AF when she visited me...must have been a couple of weeks ago, I was on holiday too Sad

trying not to obsess this month. so far so good but it's only cd12. I could still gave 2wks until icing. I hate my cycles!

Report
lil1ady · 12/05/2014 23:50

frer not free! bloody autocorrect!

Report
RPopz · 13/05/2014 00:56

I too am a fan of the frer Wink

Report
Lala5 · 13/05/2014 07:17

Morning viroids!

kato still working my way through bollockle follicle thread - oh my god lady so much respect for you! Haven't seen photo but it sounds very painful! Feel bad for laughing now - it was the name that made me laugh. Hoping the story has a happy ending x

Report
Purplecircle · 13/05/2014 07:50

Ahhh that makes sense.
This morning I think I am nauseous. I haven't had alcohol since Sat night so it's not hangover.
Am I imagining it? Well I feel yucky. I'm on Day 17
Probably another chem pg :-(
Oh god I'm obsessing already, someone give me a slap

Last time I had a chem pg I told a couple of friends and my sister. Already decided not to say anything to anyone if I get symptoms again
So we have no symptoms and now I'm just rambling. Enough of this nonsense I need to go to work!

Report
wilhelminand · 13/05/2014 08:48

You so fit in here Purple! Cd 17 is probably a little early for symptoms! If it helps, I often get nausea around ovulation.

As for the pg test Ness, I'm just living up to the scottish stereotype of being a tight-arse! Plus I don't actually think I'm upduffed.

Report
RPopz · 13/05/2014 09:09

Purple this nonsense is what we're all here for... it stops us outing ourselves as total loonies in real life Grin

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

aylesburyduck · 13/05/2014 09:57

rpopz..... do the new fred!!!!! come on gal!!!!

Grin

Report
DulcetMoans · 13/05/2014 10:05

Well I did the fred before this one so it is down to popz or frog. Come on ladies, you know you want to...!!

I get a little bit sicky around ov as well purple, could it be that?

Report
Lala5 · 13/05/2014 10:13

purple none of us obsess, no no, not us I'm lying by the way

Cd17 sounds early to test - I ov on cd 18 I think but not sure banned from contraband

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.